NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 27, 2012 12:43:56 GMT -5
I THINK what she is saying and what I based my answer on was that we should not judge the topic of discussion in this thread because after all we also have things we do not want to share with others.
Which is why I said we'll have to agree to disagree becaus I can't think of anything that I am "hiding" that is on par with sexual thoughts about a child.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2012 13:02:43 GMT -5
I don't judge anyone for thoughts about a child. I judge them if they take action on it. I think about killing different people now and again. I don't act on it. Same differance. I do see the authors point in destigmatizing having the thought so that people that have those reactions to kids can get help for it if they don't want to act on it. We should keep judging the hell out of the act though.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2012 13:06:03 GMT -5
I THINK what she is saying and what I based my answer on was that we should not judge the topic of discussion in this thread because after all we also have things we do not want to share with others. Which is why I said we'll have to agree to disagree becaus I can't think of anything that I am "hiding" that is on par with sexual thoughts about a child. Oh I have some interesting things in my past. I just haven't kept them a secret. I don't make public announcements but some people know and I can deal if/when other people find out.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 27, 2012 13:09:28 GMT -5
DH has some stuff in his past he doesn't talk about but it's hardly a secret as to what it is about.
I don't equate them with the topic at hand though or stealing a flower out of someone's garden.
I do agree with destigmatzing therapy, but I think the whole profession could do with a make-over in that regard.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2012 13:20:08 GMT -5
I respect both your responses. Latebloomer & DramaQ
Sorry I took the long winding road to simply say.. Most folks have at least one secret they've not told a soul.. If either of you do not, that is fine by me. I am not here trying to kick up any dirt where there is none.
I most certainly believe pedophilia is a despicable act. The reason I speak very strongly my opinion is the following..
I began hearing about a series of sexual acts unfolding in a child/preteens life I know personally (11 years old, shy 3 months of being 12) who was committing and suggesting sexual acts on children younger than themselves.. It has happened more than once, more than twice.. This same child is repeating acts that were done to them on the same age children.. It is what I meant by paedophilia's being created and not born that way.. And also what I meant and where the basis of my sympathy stems from.
The child I spoke of is in intense counseling today.. Hopefully acts of pedophilia can be arrested in this child before this child becomes an adult..
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2012 13:31:35 GMT -5
I realize that I am by far no expert here, but having talked to about 3 mothers who have lived with pedophiles (who sexually abused their kids), the one thing they each had in common was they said their SO had been sexually abused as a child. I wish I could get my hands on some data showing how many pedophiles were molested as children. Lone, based on my psychology classes, the majority of pedophiles were abused, however, the majority of abused children do NOT grow up to be pedophiles.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 27, 2012 13:33:00 GMT -5
I have sympathy for them as victims and I would not judge if that person wanted to seek help and that help should be avilable BEFORE they hurt another child.
But that doesn't mean I think the thoughts are okay or acceptable. If someone were to say them to me, yes I am going to look at you odd and keep my kid from you. I would HOPE the intention behind voicing them to me would be precisely so I can take action and put temptation out of harm's way.
I do think there should be some stigma to the thoughts because that should prompt you to question it and seek help because if the thoughts were normal, you wouldn't be carrying around a stigma.
But as far as getting help before it happens, no that should be stigmatized and like any other health issue should be a private matter between you and your therapist unless you choose to tell other people.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 27, 2012 14:17:27 GMT -5
You could use Alcatraz. I've always felt that this would be perfect for pedophiles. I have. A few deep dark secrets. It doesn't eat at me every day but I would seriously be upset if any of them came out. Ill take them to my grave.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Sept 27, 2012 21:16:22 GMT -5
My uncle was a pedophile. He molested me and my cousins (boys). I was four and five at the time. I spent YEARS in therapy and nearly took my own life several times due to all of the issues it has caused me.
He died five years ago. He was working overnight in a gas station. He fell and hit his head, and bled out before anyone realized he had been hurt.
I showed up at his funeral just to make CERTAIN that he was dead.
After that day, my night terrors stopped. I was 24 before I could sleep without a night light and without nightmares that the man in the hooded sweatshirt would be there, just waiting for me to doze off.
I WISH that man would have had a way to get help before he hurt us. One of my cousins went on to molest his daughters and has had them taken away (thank god).
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Sept 28, 2012 8:41:53 GMT -5
DEMI said: My sympathies go out to anyone who was violated, and it is frighteningly more common than we think, I suspect. To all the Chester the Molesters out there I have no sympathy, and no pity.
Agreed.
Anyone who thinks these people should get a 'mental pass' is just so clueless and... OMG I can't even think that there are some people who actually feel sorry for these POS. It's the most disgusting thought in the universe.
I'd take the job of sterilizing these animals. All of them.
Oh, no, we can't do that. What about their rights? What about the rights of the children who never recover from their LOVE? Learning tolerance for others needs to stop at this door.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2012 8:57:46 GMT -5
Suppose these people had admitted to these thoughts, especially the ones that had been molested themselves, and got treatment and never committed the acts? I'm more pragmatic than sympathetic. What can we do to stop this stuff from happening.
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Sept 28, 2012 9:06:37 GMT -5
I'm only referring to those who are actual offenders. To me the rest is minutia. Any thoughts on the offended who do not carry out the thoughts are fair game. Just don't romanticize the pedophile. They're predators. It ends there.
LATTER said: What can we do to stop this stuff from happening.
I don't have an answer for this question. The island theory that a poster posted has some merit to it. My plan would be more effective. It involves pain and suffering, then death. So I guess this is where I fall short in my understanding.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2012 9:39:24 GMT -5
Suppose these people had admitted to these thoughts, especially the ones that had been molested themselves, and got treatment and never committed the acts? I'm more pragmatic than sympathetic. What can we do to stop this stuff from happening. As of current research, there is no treatment other than supervision and chemical castration.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Sept 28, 2012 12:21:53 GMT -5
Isn't that a terrifying thought. I covered a case here where the victim was very young. I'm going to skip the whole investigation and legal process that lead up to the preliminary hearing where they child was made to testify. (There are certain instances where an adult can testify on behalf of the child.) The child was so little and timid, she fell apart. She wouldn't even answer her name. The judge dismissed the case, and the guy was allowed to walk free.
Prosecutors are working on refiling the charges.
The really awful part? The offender was her father and her mother sided with the dad and claimed the child was lying. The little girl is now in foster care because she can't go home where the dad is, and the mom won't kick him out or leave. And all the little girl really understands is that she has no parents because she "told." It is so heartbreaking.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 28, 2012 12:31:00 GMT -5
God, kgb, I just want to hug that little girl.
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