Would you forget about owing someone money?

[midjd]

Sort of a spinoff of the financial resentment thread...

If you owe someone money, do you generally remember to repay? Or is it easy to forget? Have you forgotten about loans you've made?

I would definitely remember a large loan (more than a couple hundred or so) but I try to repay smaller amounts ASAP or I will definitely forget (and a lot of my friends are too polite to remind me). By that same token, I usually forget about loaning $30 or $50 here or there. My friends and I do a lot of traveling/camping/entertaining together so it all evens out in the end, but I always feel like a heel when I realize I've owed someone $50 for two months.

OTOH, I've noticed that if someone I don't like that much owes me money, I NEVER forget.

How about you?

[mmhmm]

I don't forget owing money, and I don't forget how much I owe. I don't borrow from friends/family, but I know what I owe on the house and have a pretty fair idea what my monthly expenditures will be on the CC and utilities. I do tend to forget what others owe me. I think it's because I don't loan money. I give money. If people pay it back, I'm very pleased, but I don't expect it and won't give it if I don't have it to give.

[Tennesseer]

When it comes to family and friends you should loan small amounts of money with the expectation it may never be repaid. Large amounts of loaned money require a signed promissory note with a specified payback timetable.

In 1972, I lent a friend several hundred dollars so she could purchase a bed for her and her husband. As time went by no effort was made to pay it back. I then had a higher income so the few hundred dollars was not that big of a loss. Nor was ending the friendship worth a few hundred dollars. So I let it go.

In 2006, I met up with this friend for lunch. After we were done eating and out of the blue, she returned to me the money I had loaned her. I thanked her and told her I had long ago forgotten and forgiven the debt. She said she knew that but she hadn't forgotten about it.

I was quite pleased and surprised.

As for borrowing money from others? I don't do that.

[Steady As She Goes]

I repay all my debts.
I do not forget.
easy peasy
;D

[Phoenix84]

Well, I don't remember ever not paying money I borrowed back, but then if I remembered I wouldn't forgt

Only thing that stands out is a friend owes me $20, I reminded him a couple of times, but figure $20 isn't worth breaking up a friendship over.

[Loopdilou]

We owe my parents money.. but were also specifically told that it was pretty much a gift and to pay it back whenever we feel like it. So we want to pay them back, but it isn't a priority.

[bean29]

My BIL/SIL ask to "borrow" significant sums of $ about once a year. This comes with no embarrassment on their part that they already owe you thousands of $$ and have never attempted to pay you back. I told my husband that in their minds " borrow" turns to "give" as soon as you hand them the $$. DH avoids giving them $$ anymore. He figures he has helped them enough already. We don't keep track of the $ anymore-it would foster anger/resentment among family members.

Sent from my MB855 using proboards

[Deleted]

I can only think of a few times when i have borrowed money. It isn't something i do. Maybe a few bucks to buy lunch at work once in while if i forgot my purse but i always pay it back the next day. Why would anyone be borrowing money in the first place other than small stuff like that? And, i wouldn't loan large sums of money out.

[Deleted]

I would only borrow in an emergency. Like if i had to hop in my car and zoom to the hospital and my car was on E and didn't have gas money or something. But, then i would only borrow enough to get there.

[steph08]

I think I owe my mom somewhere around $50 right now - I don't know for sure. But she keeps a tab for me! Basically it is when we go to Sam's or another store together where she has a store credit card and charges the purchases, and then I just pay her cash for my portion.

I do sometimes forget about owing her, but she keeps a tab and reminds me, so she always gets paid back.

I do the same thing for them or my brother. When we went on a trip, I charged all the hotels, etc. and then told him what his half was, and he paid me.

[michelyn8]

I don't like to borrow from family but when I have, I always paid it back. My mom refunds me the $13/month it costs to have a line for her on my cell phone plan. I always forget whether she's paid me or not and don't really worry about it unless she brings it up. She gave me lots of free childcare when my kids were little so I just wouldn't feel right reminding her she needs to pay me so little when the bill comes in.

[zibazinski]

Yup, I don't borrow nor do I lend anymore.

[Deleted]

I don't like comingling money with anyone. If i don't have cash or a cc, i just don't buy it. I will wait till i have my own cash. And, i have never borrowed from family and dont want them borrowing from me. If we go somewhere together, they can call up and pay for their own room, reservations, etc. Just simpler and neater to keep things separate. I have gone on some vacations where i put the room on my cc and then a friend mailed me a check for the amount but i don't really consider that borrowing. Just more of a financial convenience.

[daisylu]

There have been times where I have owed family money - usually because they picked something up for me that I had been searching for. I don't think that I have ever forgotten to pay them back. If I did they never said.

My sister and I work in the same facility, and she is a serial debit card user who is constantly running out of cash. I spot her a couple dollars regularly for lunch, but I never expect to get it back and rarely mention it to her. I do not think that she borrows it with the intention of not paying it back though, she is just flaky.

[Deleted]

Borrowing or loaning money is bad for a relationship in my opinion. I think it changes the relationship you have with that person. The borrower now feels beholden to the lender. And, then if not paid back quickly the lender starts thinking "well, she can afford to get her nails done but she can't pay me back the gas money, etc". I had a relative ask for a loan when in dire straights 2x. And, i sent them a check and told them it was a gift. I didn't want to be in that type of lender/borrower relationship. And, another time, my SIL asked to borrow money but she was overspending and buying a lot of crap she didn't need. So, we offered to help her get her finances in order but she said no so we didn't loan to her because we know that would simply be throwing away money and we didn't want to open a door for her future borrowing.

[movingforward]

I don't really borrow from anyone. If the office ordered lunch and all I have is a CC and everyone else has cash then I will often offer to us my CC and they all pay me cash for their lunches. I have a friend that I travel with a lot and I typically put the cruise deposits, hotels, or whatever on my CC so I can get the miles and she pays me back. Depending on where we go this could be a pretty significant amount of money. She sometimes forgets but I always remind her ;D We have been friends for 12 yrs and typically take at least one trip a year together and she has always paid me back.

[Deleted]

No, and that's almost causing a problem with my brother. While I was in college/grad school (several years ago), he paid for a couple expensive repairs for my car. I think I still owe him about $500; he disagrees and refuses to take it. He did not consider it a loan, just taking care of his little sister. I think that is too much money. The last time I tried to pay it back, he really did need the money. He had taken two weeks off without pay when our grandmother (whom he was primary caregiver for) was in her final decline and passed away. But he refused; insisted he could sell a few things if he needed it.

[Firebird]

If you owe someone money, do you generally remember to repay? Or is it easy to forget? Have you forgotten about loans you've made?

Thanks a lot, Mid... I've been trying as hard as I can to forget this $5,000 loan that my BFF made me eighteen years ago, now here you are trying to bring it all back

*sigh*

[movingforward]

Sept 20, 2012 10:16:58 GMT -5 Firebird said:

If you owe someone money, do you generally remember to repay? Or is it easy to forget? Have you forgotten about loans you've made?

Thanks, Mid... I've been trying as hard as I can to forget this $5,000 loan that my BFF made me eighteen years ago, now here you are trying to bring it all back

*sigh*

eighteen years ago - weren't you eight??

[Firebird]

eighteen years ago - weren't you eight??

Yes, I was. It was for my startup lemonade stand business. Never took off

[Tiny]

I have trouble remembering small amounts ($20 or less) - especially if it gets given to me during the 'sale' part - like we're at a store and someone volunteers to give me $20.00 for something and I'll pay them back later.

On occassion I have borrowed from co-workers (when my cash allowance was gone and I needed $5 or $10 for something...) I usually immediately write an IO Person's Name $X on something and stick it somewhere prominient on my desk- so I remember. This usually only occurs when I've forgotten my purse or my train ticket or something unexpected comes up at work a day before payday. I'm really really really hoping I haven't stiffed someone... but I think I have a pretty good record of re-paying these mini loans. They don't happen often.

When someone fronts me some money - like say for some tickets to an event or something - because I can remember the event - it's on my calendar. I usually pay by mailed check or make sure I have cash the next time I see them. I'm very good with paying back these loans.

I've never borrowed big $$ amounts - nothing where I couldn't pay it off in one lump sum within a day or two or a couple of weeks.

[jaya3300]

Besides student loans, mortgage, and bills, I don't owe any money. And I wouldn't forget that I borrowed money from someone.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I hope not!

My boss and I have occasionally borrowed money back and forth when we've been walletless for the day at work. I suspect that we're probably even on this!

[raeoflyte]

My sister and I can easily end up owing each other. One of us will pick up a gift for our parents, grandmother, event, etc and then the other one owes money. We recently did a mani/pedi day and when dsis asked to repay me I told her I'm 99% certain I hadn't given her money for mom's kindle, so not to worry about it.

She also buys dog and cat food for us with her work discount. I try to pay her on the spot, because if I don't then a few weeks go by. I don't think I've ever actually forgotten that one, although this week I made a special trip to her job to pay for last months food since I still hadn't done it.

[kittensaver]

Yes, I've done it at work (forgotten to pay back small amounts), which is why haven't borrowed any money in a looooong time. It's embarrassing to have someone say, "come along (to the birthday lunch/going away party/happy hour) - I'll cover you and you can pay me back later" - and then I don't because I've honestly forgotten (and they don't want to "confront" or remind me). So I just don't do it - if I don't have the cash on me, I don't go out.

[Sum Dum Gai]

I wish I could forget. My networth would be higher. Loop's parents even told us to consider it a gift, but I leave the debt on my networth spreadsheet, and we'll pay back every penny.

[Miss Tequila]

I was just about to say that I don't borrow money....but I remember a few weeks ago valet parking and forgetting to make sure I had singles to tip...a co-worker lent me $2 and I made sure to pay it back the next day. I get itchy if I owe someone money...I would be mortified if I forgot/

[Taxman10]

Sept 20, 2012 13:15:34 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I was just about to say that I don't borrow money....but I remember a few weeks ago valet parking and forgetting to make sure I had singles to tip...a co-worker lent me $2 and I made sure to pay it back the next day. I get itchy if I owe someone money...I would be mortified if I forgot/

you owe me $20...remember that time...when i loaned you $20...you never paid me back...so you can go ahead and do that now...that'd be great...thanks!

[8 Bit WWBG]

I owed a co-worker $20 or so for a while for my share of a pool gift. I wasn't avoiding it or anything, it was one of those "any time I remembered, I didn't have cash, and any time I had cash, I didn't remember". We evened things out, and I paid a little interest and felt really bad.

When the next pool gift came up (since she was administering the order) I went RIGHT to the ATM and paid her my share the same day.

[zibazinski]

Never. I'm very careful to repay but I so rarely borrow, it's never an issue. Even then, I would only borrow until the next day, at the most.