AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jun 6, 2012 13:57:15 GMT -5
I don't mind saying to people before the come down- you're going to need a rental car, at least during the week. I have to work, and I need my car-- for example. Of course, I can't know your specific situation. However, we've had guests enough now (FL will do that to you- especially if your family is from the frozen tundra) that the shuttling about has become an issue for us. So, I just lay that card right out on the table.
In all (real) fairness, I could ask people to pitch in for food, gas, etc., but (and I don't mean to brag) we have done better than a lot of our family members to the point where it is a little tricky to hide anymore. So, while it would be right, and it would be fair- I'd feel like a jerk asking for money.
In addition, I'm gifted in hospitality. I like to do a lot for people, and have them truly sit back and enjoy themselves. I figure I'll just catch my breath and take a breather when they go home. If they go home- Florida, again. It's easy to visit, and even easier once you're there to stay awhile.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jun 6, 2012 13:59:04 GMT -5
Update: She sent me an email this morning (or late last night) which said "I just wanted to say we had a great time and were so thankful for you taking the time to host us and shuttle us around, not to mention treating us to lunch (and amazing shrimp!) and generally spending on milk, gas, parking, etc - we're sending a thank you gift to you but it might take awhile since [work] is a little hectic for me! But we really did appreciate it!" So at least I know they noticed and it's nice that she took the time to thank us. I'm also impressed that they plan to send a thank you gift. Only fair to let you guys know how they redeemed themselves somewhat Maybe they lurk here! hehe I wonder about my kin sometimes. I know my brother used to poke around in the shadows at YM... Congratulations on your big win yesterday, btw. Well earned.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 6, 2012 15:14:18 GMT -5
In addition, I'm gifted in hospitality. I like to do a lot for people, and have them truly sit back and enjoy themselves. I figure I'll just catch my breath and take a breather when they go home. If they go home- Florida, again. It's easy to visit, and even easier once you're there to stay awhile.
I don't know if you read my posts or not, but I don't care about getting "reimbursed" for anything, nor do I want my guests to feel like they're obligated to do anything for us. DH and I are generous people; we too like to provide. But we like doing it better for people who appreciate it.
It's the gesture that matters. The email this morning was the first hint of gratitude I received from either one of them, and quite honestly (though it came late) it was plenty. That's all I really wanted.
In MY world, when someone puts me up and feeds me and drives me around, it's appropriate to respond with some sort of reciprocal dinner out or flowers or whatever. At the VERY least, to make a sincere showing of gratitude for each act of hospitality.
Plus, this wasn't really my biggest problem with them. It was just something that grated on me throughout the weekend. The way they alternated talking over us and ignoring us completely upset me much more than the money thing.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 6, 2012 15:45:13 GMT -5
I try to show up WITH the gift, kind of like tipping in advance. I suppose that could backfire and knock me down a few pegs if the gift isn't enough
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jun 6, 2012 15:58:08 GMT -5
Well, you'll have to let us know if the gift ever actually shows up.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 6, 2012 15:59:26 GMT -5
What if the gift is a nice card?
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Havoc
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Post by Havoc on Jun 6, 2012 20:51:41 GMT -5
What if the gift is a nice card? My vote is that it will be a framed picture of them (the guest couple).... ETA: along with a dry-cleaning bill for the shirt that got cocktail sauce dripped on it via the amazing shrimp ....
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 6, 2012 22:46:02 GMT -5
There was no cocktail sauce, the amazing shrimp in question was coconut shrimp fried in beer batter, a specialty of DH's that tends to make people worship at his feet. That dinner was by far the most successful part of the weekend.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 6, 2012 22:48:52 GMT -5
And a card would be plenty, but if she IS lurking and REALLY wants to redeem herself, she could send me a baby wrap like the one they used to cart around the kiddo. I was basically drooling over it
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jun 7, 2012 8:55:15 GMT -5
I try to show up WITH the gift, kind of like tipping in advance. I suppose that could backfire and knock me down a few pegs if the gift isn't enough Ditto that. I never fail to greet my host(s) with a gift. If we're good friends, usually a nice bottle of wine or spirits will do just fine. We're going to be house guests on our trip to Colorado this summer for the first time in a long time, so I'm actually happy that this thread is here because it's making me conscious of being a good house guest!
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jun 7, 2012 8:56:42 GMT -5
There was no cocktail sauce, the amazing shrimp in question was coconut shrimp fried in beer batter, a specialty of DH's that tends to make people worship at his feet. That dinner was by far the most successful part of the weekend. Hmmm, now I think I'd like to have a coconut shrimp contest with your hubby. I make a killer sweet chili sauce to go with mine.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 7, 2012 11:13:51 GMT -5
We're going to be house guests on our trip to Colorado this summer for the first time in a long time, so I'm actually happy that this thread is here because it's making me conscious of being a good house guest! .... .... did... WCP just... acknowledge something I wrote as being helpful?!? I need to go lie down. Hmmm, now I think I'd like to have a coconut shrimp contest with your hubby. I make a killer sweet chili sauce to go with mine. BRING IT. We need to pick an impartial judge, though, like WWBG or swamp. Winner stays at loser's house for the weekend
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 7, 2012 11:16:51 GMT -5
And doesn't carry their plates to the kitchen!
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amishgal
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Post by amishgal on Jun 7, 2012 16:05:30 GMT -5
O boy, is this sounding all too familiar! I just had the pleasure of hosting MIL and her friend from Friday - Monday. MIL wanted to come for DD's dance recital, great! However, FIL couldn't come (he's a pastor and rarely takes a Sunday off), so since she didn't want to make the 6 hour drive alone she TOLD us she was bringing her friend. Um ok. That part ended up being fine, I think I like the friend better than MIL, ha! However, it meant not only getting the guest room ready, but my 20 year old DD who lives at home had to give up her room for the weekend too and sleep on a couch in the basement for 3 nights. We have 3 bathrooms, but one is being renovated so right now we're down to 2. Just a stressful time! MIL is an early riser and the minute you come downstairs, there she is, right in your face wanting to talk. Finally by Monday I told her I would answer her questions after I had a cup of coffee.
We went out for dinner after the recital, a pretty nice, upscale place and footed the bill for everyone. Funny, because for some reason we also pay when we go to dinner with them in NY. Hell, that's a small price to pay I guess for not having to live in the same state, right?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 7, 2012 16:22:11 GMT -5
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