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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2012 20:58:34 GMT -5
Thyme, I just want to say that you demonstrate what I have always argued. You can't do it all. You can't do all the kid stuff, all the house stuff, plus have a demanding career . . . and do it all well.
Good luck.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2012 7:17:35 GMT -5
I think, honestly, you just want to stop working. In today's society and even the economy, it's a chance. Your husband could end up laid off, get sick, or even leave you. Life happens. Your kids are fine, you are not. You have to do, with your husbands input, what is best for you. A lot of kids have working parents and their extra curricular activities reflect that fact. Yours don't, for some reason. DSs soccer practice was at 7:30. DDs gymnastics was on Saturday morning. There would have been no teams if practices or games were at 4 pm.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2012 7:20:47 GMT -5
Take your paycheck and put it all into savings. Live totally on your husbands for the next 3 months without dipping into your check at all. If you can do it, then you have your answer. Make sure you have accounted for the usual things like all the insurances, car and house. Co-pays and deductibles on health for everyone. Dental for everyone.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 23, 2012 9:34:50 GMT -5
I think, honestly, you just want to stop working. In today's society and even the economy, it's a chance. Your husband could end up laid off, get sick, or even leave you. Life happens. Your kids are fine, you are not. You have to do, with your husbands input, what is best for you. A lot of kids have working parents and their extra curricular activities reflect that fact. Yours don't, for some reason. DSs soccer practice was at 7:30. DDs gymnastics was on Saturday morning. There would have been no teams if practices or games were at 4 pm. Yes, but I think it's to the detriment of the kids. But, my kids go to bed early because they are up early. There's no way my kids (K4 and 3rd grade) can handle the demands of school on 8 hours of sleep a night. And my kids are holy terrors when they are sleep deprived-completely unpleasant for anyone to be around... Tell me what 5 year old is teachable at 7-7:30pm at night? My 5 year olds are going to bed at 7:30. I would vote rethink my career, or have DH rethink his. Which ever person has the higher earning power. I can out earn my husband, hands down. So, he works part time-for his sanity and some of our extras. I do the lions share of the working and income getting. It's a nice balance for us. If my DH ever gets offered a full time job, we'll probably both negotiate changes in our work hours so that I work 30 or so at my day job and he works 30 or so at his job. FWIW, I've taken a LOT of guff from people about having my DH first be a SAHP and then work part time. I really don't give a rats behind anymore. It's nontraditional and yes, somewhat risky. (But, life is risky, period.) It works for our family, and we can deal with the consequences for our choices without relying on anyone else (with the exception of collecting unemployment benefits), and that's all that matters.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 23, 2012 9:36:55 GMT -5
Thyme, I just want to say that you demonstrate what I have always argued. You can't do it all. You can't do all the kid stuff, all the house stuff, plus have a demanding career . . . and do it all well. Good luck. I know I can't "do it all". And I don't want to even try. Childhood goes by so fast. I want to enjoy my children during this short period. Not every family has the flexibility to do it, but Thyme's post have reflected that they have always lived well beneath their means. She is also planning on continuing to do consulting, so its not like she is planning to quit her job and never work again.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2012 10:02:35 GMT -5
Hey, if you are okay with it and your husband is okay with it, then do it. Keep your foot in the door and your skills fresh and you should be able to transistion back in. I know childhood goes by fast but isnt it odd that it's still okay for moms to quit to be with their kids but not dads?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 23, 2012 10:18:34 GMT -5
I know childhood goes by fast but isnt it odd that it's still okay for moms to quit to be with their kids but not dads? Who said that?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 23, 2012 11:27:36 GMT -5
The biggest savings we would have is in taxes, so although my paycheck would disappear, my husband's paycheck would go up pretty significantly. I would have to double check, because when our withholdings were too low a few years ago, my husband put in a new W4 that took out a disproportionate amount of taxes from his check. We make the same amount, and I pay for insurance and his check is still $500 less than mine - so it isn't quite so easy.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jul 23, 2012 13:13:38 GMT -5
I think, honestly, you just want to stop working. In today's society and even the economy, it's a chance. Your husband could end up laid off, get sick, or even leave you. Life happens. Your kids are fine, you are not. You have to do, with your husbands input, what is best for you. A lot of kids have working parents and their extra curricular activities reflect that fact. Yours don't, for some reason. DSs soccer practice was at 7:30. DDs gymnastics was on Saturday morning. There would have been no teams if practices or games were at 4 pm. Well, middle and high school sports almost always have practices and games at 4:00ish. True, the kids are already at school but parents who want to watch the games need to leave work early several times per week.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 23, 2012 13:50:52 GMT -5
I'm looking forward to the age where their activities are on school campus. If they can get to practice without me, I can manage the ride home. It is the deal where I have to leave work, go pick them up and get them to a second location by 4 that makes this impossible.
I actually have had a revelation that it isn't work, it isn't school, and it isn't "activities" - it is one single activity that is making me crazy. Now I just have to decide how to handle it.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2012 14:22:53 GMT -5
That's what we are here for. The sounding board. Thats funny, My kids were in middle and high school and their things were later. Maybe practices were at 4 if they were after school for school related sport like swim team and wrestling but events were always in the evening. People work and they work usually a 9-5. Having an event at 4 would mean a ton of parents couldn't watch their kids participate. Don't see parents thinking this is okay. They both played soccer and baseball during the school year, the elem years. Practices were later as were games. A 5 year old in bed at 7:30? Wow.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 25, 2012 13:21:20 GMT -5
I could take another 6 grand out of my monthly expenses if I refinance to a 30 year mortgage at 3.5%. Or, I could refinance to a 15 year, which is what I have now, but my interest rate would be 2 points lower. That would take 2 grand out of my expenses every year, and I would still have it paid off before I'm 60.
Holy cow rates are ridiculous!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 13:25:48 GMT -5
My boss and I are in negotiations to make my position part-time. I would work 25 hours per week, and take a 35% pay cut. More to follow.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2012 13:26:20 GMT -5
nice job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 13:33:04 GMT -5
We shall see. I may be speaking prematurely. Nothing is approved yet. But, it is a start.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2012 13:36:04 GMT -5
What about benefits; especially health? Does your husband's job cover that?
Good luck with the negotiations!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 13:36:25 GMT -5
It certainly splits the difference between working all the time or losing all your income.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 13:37:09 GMT -5
My husband will be able to get health insurance. I forgot to ask about 401k.
I'm willing to take the hit if necessary.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 9, 2012 13:37:26 GMT -5
Thyme, that is awesome! I worked part time for years and loved it. Part of me wishes I never came back full time.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2012 13:46:47 GMT -5
Good luck getting your job to go part time! But a lot of people fall into the trap of putting in full time hours for part time pay so don't work too hard.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 13:47:43 GMT -5
Not a chance.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 13:54:14 GMT -5
Ask, and you shall receive.
My boss is very family oriented (very, very.) So, I told him that my kids need me, and would he consider this? I think he was afraid that I was going to quit - so it might have been a relief.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 14:04:13 GMT -5
I will take that compliment dem. ;D
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 9, 2012 14:06:24 GMT -5
Ask, and you shall receive. My boss is very family oriented (very, very.) So, I told him that my kids need me, and would he consider this? I think he was afraid that I was going to quit - so it might have been a relief. Yay!!!!!!!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 14:06:37 GMT -5
We will see. If it sucks - I'll just ask to go back full-time.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 9, 2012 14:11:27 GMT -5
I'd work 4-5 hours a day, mornings. I would get the same number of days sick/vacation - it is just now the hours would adjust accordingly.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2012 14:40:19 GMT -5
Fantastic news!!! I worked PT for many years too. Just a thought, might you be better off with four longer days (ie 4 X 6h?) rather than 5 shorter ones? (5 X 5h) Both have advantages / inconviences. In the first case, you're there more hours every day, ie you leave work later, but you're out a day every week. In the second case, you're there every day, but you leave work earlier. Just something else to consider! ETA: Personally I have always opted for fewer / longer days but both solutions have their merits and you may not even have the choice. Either way, I think it's fantastic news! I hope you will be much happier. When do you start the new schedule?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 9, 2012 15:10:29 GMT -5
That's awesome! I'll wish you good luck, but I'm sure it will work out in your favor.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 9, 2012 19:29:34 GMT -5
Good for you, Thyme. I'm happy for you.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Oct 9, 2012 20:09:59 GMT -5
I worked part time from the time DS was born until both were in Middle school. It is often the best of both worlds, as long as you don't mind being on the "Mommy 'Track"
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