Going to one income by choice?

[Deleted]

Would you consider going to one income by choice (kind of)?

If someone's job is negatively affecting their health (both physically and mentally), do you stick it out until the situation changes or leave and go down to one income.

Bills could be made on one income, though it would be VERY tight (with two car payments still). There is NO credit card debt, just the car payments, a small student loan ($50 a month and low interest so haven't prepaid), and a bit in savings (about $5000).

It would be temporary in a way, becase a move would be made in June of this year across the county (no option here....and MOST of the move is paid for), and the person would be looking for a new position then anyway.

Or, do you stick it out.....which per medical professionals is detrimental to the person's health and detrimental to the marriage at this point because of that. Doing so would allow you to put about $1000 additional in savings a month until the move.


Currently, one party says leave and the other says stick it out.

[bobbysgirl]

I feel empathy for your situation. Part of smart spending is engaging wisdom as part of the decision making. Your health can not be replaced. An item can.

Discuss this options with your SO and find a way to go down to one income and survive. Use my blog to save money on everything that your family needs and find other resources and figure out what it is your family really needs.

I applaud families who sacrifice things for the well being of the members. I would be happy to mentor you in the transition via email or phone. You are welcome to PM me.

[Deleted]

The car payments are definitely a concern...however one way or the other, the person will be leaving the job in a few months (and transferring to a new office is not an option, as there isn't one in the new location).

But still, it's earning money for a few more months, or being unemployed for those months until a job is found in the new location.

[Deleted]

No, it is impossible to keep the job when moving across the country.


I don't believe unemployment is an option if you willingly (technically) leave your job.

[Waffle]

If staying is deterimental to the person' health and you can survive without that income, I'd say quit now.

[Deleted]

Your correct, I mistyped. It's about $1800 of income a month at this time, used to be more, but due to budget cuts there is NO overtime allowed, and they send people home when it gets slow.

[Deleted]

It would depend on the seriousness of the "health" issues involved with the job. Real health issues let the job go. Just an unpleasant work situation, suck it up for four months.

ETA - If the job is really detrimental to your health you can get EI for sick leave in Canada. Can you do that in the US?

You are young Lilbit. I don't know you personally and you could be the exception, but I find many young people these days don't feel they should have to do anything unpleasant. When people with that attitude get older they seem to have a lot of life challenges that wouldn't be there if they would just stay employed.

[motherto2]

I unfortunately can see both sides. I've had a job for years that I didn't like, but as my parents kept telling me it's secure, I make good money, and I'll have a good retirement one day. Not what you want to hear when you are going through the rough spots. I was glad I had the job I never liked when ex #1 and I split and I had 2 kids to take care of. Fast forward to a boss from HE double toothpicks in a job I have never cared for, and married for the second time. DH #2 was fine with me quitting, but I just couldn't do it. I'd vested alot of years, made good money, etc. etc. I was really contemplating a transfer that would have taken my commute from 25 minutes one way to 1 1/2 (conservatively) one way. I decided to hold on, and lo and behold, management finally woke up to the fact that the supervisor was the witch everyone said she was. She left, a supervisor flavor of the month (meaning numerous supervisors for the next couple of years, but still better than the witch). Then marriage no. 2 went south, and now it's just me and both of my kids. Long story short, I understand how hard it is to be in a job you don't like and have had extreme unpleasantness in a job I didn't like, but am totally glad I stuck it out. I can pay all my bills, pay for things for the kids, have a great retirement system in a few years, and able to put money away. I understand your in a different place meaning it's only a few more months and a change will come about, but sometimes you have to really decide what's more important. Good luck with your decision.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

My health was one of the reasons I stopped working in 2005 and we became a one-income family. I'd wanted to quit a year earlier, but I stuck it out to get some things paid off ~ and ended up spending a week in the cardiac unit of the hospital. When I got out, I quit.

[lurkyloo]

Is it possible to look for a temp job or part-time temp job for the next few months? That might be a mutually acceptable solution--still bringing in at least a little money, but hopefully stress levels could go down a bit.

[dogmom]

How sad. It is honestly heartbreaking. We're going through the same thing, but with a differet financial picture. I think/hope that both of you have strong work ethic, but, making a living doesn't make a LIFE. If the health issues are real, and serious, why are you asking the question? Are you currently checking out what the possibilities for future employment upon the move? It sounds as though you know where you are going but don't know what you're going to do when you get there. Like I said, our financial position is different, but I'm hoping for the best for you (and in the same breath, DH and I)

[Deleted]

I am young, and that is part of my reason for NOT wanting to quit. I'm old enough that I've already made some stupid mistakes in my life and I've gotten past them. We just finished paying off credit card debt, but we do still have car payments and my student loan. I personally, don't like the idea of quitting because of this. Yes, on paper, we can make it just fine. We won't go into more debt and it will simply delay us paying off debt early like I (and we) had wanted to.

Make no mistake, I am not taking this lightly. I have not been without a job since I was fifteen, and I worked three while in college to make it through with a total of $5000 in debt to pay off (now down to $2000 and holding at 5%).

My husband is pushing for this....and I'm fighting it for the reasons mentioned above. I want to get debt paid early, I want to continue putting money in my 401k (his Roth would be funded even if I quit), and I don't like the idea of quitting in general, especially knowing that I only have to stick it out another few months. But, I do see his (and at this point my doctor's) point. It IS affecting my health, both physically with the bouncing between day and night shifts and with the stress, but also mentally. I'm fighting severe depression at this point and it's quite new to me. My solution is to grit my teeth and keep pushing through, but I've been doing it for the last year and it's landed my with doctors, therapists, and on meds.

I'm looking for some in between at this point, part time? a temp job? I don't know. I don't want to be THAT person, who walks away when things get tough, because it's not me....but I don't want to end up locked up in a mental hospital either, or exacerbating cardiac and other medical issues.

I'm asking the question because I wanted others opinions, especially if you've gone through this. Especially if you WEREN'T the one that wanted to quit.

I'm not sure if EI is offered in the US for jobs affecting your health..... I've never had or looked into EI because I've always had another job before quitting.

I do know where we're going and I am already looking at options there.

[Waffle]

I can't offer any personal experience advice but I can tell you about a friend of mine. Hated her job, mostly because of her boss. She got pregnant had some issues and the doctor said she needed to reduce her stress levels. The next time she came to work after the doctor's appointment she told her boss about the doctor's orders.

I don't remember exactly what he did, but it was something that added to her stress. She quit right on the spot. Most of the people in the office thought she was crazy for quitting a "good job" without having another one. But her husband supported her and when she and I had lunch a couple of weeks later, it was like the world had been lifted off her shoulders. Some months later she had a healthy baby boy and is still happy with her decision.

She said she might go back to work at some point but for now her part of the financial picture is just to take care of their income including doing whatever she can to buy the things they need at the best possible price.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Deleted]

Any possibility of getting medical disability or worker's compensation? If you've got the support of your doctor(s), maybe that would be an option. If your doctor orders you to take time off work, wouldn't that be covered?

[Frugal Nurse]

Jan 22, 2011 13:53:05 GMT -5 ~LilBit~ said:

Your correct, I mistyped. It's about $1800 of income a month at this time, used to be more, but due to budget cuts there is NO overtime allowed, and they send people home when it gets slow.

I would send my resume to a temp agency and give my two weeks at the current employer. Even if you have to take a min. wage job until June, like working a daycare or something, it would help soften the blow. If your current job is literally hazardous to your health, then $1800 a month is not worth it. It's not like there are no other jobs out there that pay like that.

If a potential employer in your new city asks about the short stint at the temp job, just reply "We were about to start a new project at my job where I would be a key person, and I didn't want them to rely on me and then I leave right in the middle. I left so they could fill my position with someone before the project started" or something similar.

[Jake 48]

EX was pregnant w/ first baby, boss was an a#*hole about her morning sickness. Her health was more important, she came home and told me she quit. we survived, struggled and had healthy kids

[dragonfly7]

LilBit: Leave. I can already tell you have the work ethic to find something temporary or try to make further expense reductions for the next four months while you find something permanent at your new home. Good luck, and please take care of yourself.

[bobbysgirl]

By your avatar, would it be safe to assume you are in law enforcement? MY SIL is as well and I see your problems. They are much more than just the regular I hate my boss. It's more serious. You may find taking the steps to change your career beneficial. After you restore your health. I am a big proponent of if it is possible to stay home to raise your family, to go this route. Perhaps working weekends or whenever the DH is home at a 'small' job would be beneficial. But get healthy first.

[Agatha]

I don't have a double income household. There's just me. Yes, for anyone who has read my postings, the boys do contribute but their jobs only pay 25% of what mine did. I understood that from the get-go but then they can cook, do all the yardwork, clean house (even decorated it inside and out for the holidays), do laundry(yes, mine, too when I was working), and I don't know what I would have done without them after my surgery last year. They spoiled me rotten!

Yet, I quit my job recently for health reasons. It required me to be on my feet twelve hours a day. The atmosphere was toxic to the point I was taking both antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication.

Your health is something you cannot replace. It may seem like a small sacrifice now but one does pay for it sooner or later. Diabetes, hypertension, cardiac problems (as Molly well knows). You don't need them. They aren't worth it. I agree with frugalnurse. (Got to remember to give her karma when this is finished.)

Merciful heavens, I am wordy this morning! I guess this just hit a chord with me. Just take care of yourself. You're the only "you" you (and your DH) will ever have. Virtual hugs!!

[Frugal Nurse]

Jan 24, 2011 10:53:09 GMT -5 Agatha said:

I don't have a double income household. There's just me. Yes, for anyone who has read my postings, the boys do contribute but their jobs only pay 25% of what mine did. I understood that from the get-go but then they can cook, do all the yardwork, clean house (even decorated it inside and out for the holidays), do laundry(yes, mine, too when I was working), and I don't know what I would have done without them after my surgery last year. They spoiled me rotten!

Yet, I quit my job recently for health reasons. It required me to be on my feet twelve hours a day. The atmosphere was toxic to the point I was taking both antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication.

Your health is something you cannot replace. It may seem like a small sacrifice now but one does pay for it sooner or later. Diabetes, hypertension, cardiac problems (as Molly well knows). You don't need them. They aren't worth it. I agree with frugalnurse. (Got to remember to give her karma when this is finished.)

Merciful heavens, I am wordy this morning! I guess this just hit a chord with me. Just take care of yourself. You're the only "you" you (and your DH) will ever have. Virtual hugs!!

12 hours on your feet, toxic environment, sounds like you worked in health care too! We always joke that they need to have an Ativan mist coming out of the sprinklers a few times a day!

[kristi28]

I'm going to agree with everyone else. If even your doctor thinks that the job is harmful to your health, I would go ahead and quit.

I quit a job that I (mostly) enjoyed because of my emotional health. It wasn't the job, but you can't exactly quit having parents and in-laws with serious medical issues, a husband who works 60+ hours per week, and a child who needs PT. I couldn't do everything that needed to be done, and I was always stressed out and crabby with DH. We missed the $$, but in the end, clearly it was the right choice.

Wishing you the best, and whatever you decide, make sure to take care of yourself!

[lurkyloo]

MIL had to retire from her job (also in healthcare!) about a year early after extensive stress-related health problems. She tried switching jobs, but found that the new one was about as bad--lots of pressure to squeeze in more patients. The physical results were pretty ugly, I think she spent about three months in and out of the hospital with extreme nausea. She's now been retired and out of the hospital for about a year, but is still on a LOT of medications. She's got very little energy and occasionally comes across as a zombie. We're sort of worried about her; SIL was planning to call up her doctor and let him know we're concerned about her dosages.

I guess I'm the counterpoint: I went through a period of clinical depression in grad school, and made it through to the PhD on the other side. On some levels, it helped to know it was temporary; on others I felt really trapped. I was definitely a stronger person for making it through.

Ya gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em! In your case, I think it would be totally reasonable to take a couple of months off (moving's a lot of work!) or at a temp assignment. And don't forget to factor in the cost of the doctors, therapists, and meds when you think about how much it'd cost to quit your job.

[Agatha]

Jan 24, 2011 13:30:58 GMT -5 Frugal Nurse said:

Jan 24, 2011 10:53:09 GMT -5 Agatha said:

I don't have a double income household. There's just me. Yes, for anyone who has read my postings, the boys do contribute but their jobs only pay 25% of what mine did. I understood that from the get-go but then they can cook, do all the yardwork, clean house (even decorated it inside and out for the holidays), do laundry(yes, mine, too when I was working), and I don't know what I would have done without them after my surgery last year. They spoiled me rotten!

Yet, I quit my job recently for health reasons. It required me to be on my feet twelve hours a day. The atmosphere was toxic to the point I was taking both antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication.

Your health is something you cannot replace. It may seem like a small sacrifice now but one does pay for it sooner or later. Diabetes, hypertension, cardiac problems (as Molly well knows). You don't need them. They aren't worth it. I agree with frugalnurse. (Got to remember to give her karma when this is finished.)

Merciful heavens, I am wordy this morning! I guess this just hit a chord with me. Just take care of yourself. You're the only "you" you (and your DH) will ever have. Virtual hugs!!

12 hours on your feet, toxic environment, sounds like you worked in health care too! We always joke that they need to have an Ativan mist coming out of the sprinklers a few times a day!

Actually we did discuss putting Prozac in the water fountains.
Ativan would only help the managerial staff.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

<<< If staying is deterimental to the person' health and you can survive without that income, I'd say quit now. >>>

[Peace Of Mind]

I did it at 39 years old. My only health issues are bad allergies and thyroid, but I was just sick of putting up with crap and dancing to somebody elses whims and being stuck in an office. I had most of my financial obligations in order and a little savings and no debt but a small mortgage (at that time). We've since built a nicer/bigger house.

Because I had more time to think and take care of things I was able to get our finances in stellar shape, negotiate lower bills that we never really paid any attention to (over-paying on services not needed, storage unit not needed, etc.). We also didn't eat out so much because I had the time to shop and cook nice meals. Because I had more time I was also able to do everything DH hated to do and he was able to concentrate even more on his career. He eventually doubled his income! We found out that our quality of life was way more important than money, but that fell into place too. We've never been happier.

I highly recommend it. You can always go back to work later. I never plan to though. And every financial decision we make is based on that - me never having to go back if I don't want to.

[bobbysgirl]

Jan 23, 2011 20:45:18 GMT -5 Jake 48 said:

EX was pregnant w/ first baby, boss was an a#*hole about her morning sickness. Her health was more important, she came home and told me she quit. we survived, struggled and had healthy kids

Jake: I can't help but wonder about your "EX" now? This is what stops women from raising their children with one income. They end up an ex and their skills aren't up to grade. Poverty pursues and we all know the rest of the story. Then of course there are the lawyers who come up with ways to rake the other person over the coals in ways most humans can't think of. But, I'm glad the kids are ok.

[bobbysgirl]

Jan 27, 2011 6:34:58 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

What is so detrimental about your job that somehow staying home is better? Most jobs don't involving climbing up on roofs, etc. Yes, the office is stressful and people are idiots at times. There seem to be multiple issues that you need to address and seperate them out. First, what is it that is causing stress to the point of your health and even marital problems? Do you not like the boss, the type of work, etc? Do you need some help in anxiety management? If you do, there is nothing wrong with addressing this and your mental health.
Also, are you planning to move in June anyway? If so, then what would be gained to quit now?
As for marital difficulties, those will increase with less income and as finances become strapped. And, staying home might seem less stressful but your stress might increase with less income.
Also, could you explore other options, working part time, changing jobs, etc. Try to look at these things individually and break it down.

I think the OP said in an earlier post that she was a law enforcement officer. Her avatar seems to support that. When some people go into this career they want to change the world, but see so much muck they end up not being stronger than it. Money is not the end all and answer to everythng. It's nothing more than a tool to use to your benefit. There's a number of options for this young couple. They are looking for advice, not well I can't see why you're not as good as I am attitude.

[bobbysgirl]

Now you are making sense, SNERD. That was helpful.

[bobbysgirl]

I agree, if her health weren't mentioned as a concern. This to me says the situation could be fragile. Just my approach to others. I'm getting too old for the tough love approach. But your advice, once clarified, is good.

[bobbysgirl]

And SNERD: Have a good day.