help me convince DH....

[keeponworkin]

DH and I have the same conversation at least once a week....he is convinced we need to buy a new to us vehicle, now, for the baby (due in 3 weeks).

we currently own 3, 12 year old vehicles. we have a 2-door SUV, too small for him to drive, a 4-door SUV (best bet), and a truck with those half-doors on the backseats that open backwards. we tried the baby seat in the truck, and the backseat is so narrow that it didn't seem to really fit. 2-door SUV is a deathtrap and we agree that baby isn't riding in that.

i plan to take the baby seat and truck to the fire station to see if they say it will be safe. if so, my plan is to sell the 2-door SUV to make enough money to get the AC fixed in truck, or, if possible, wait to get AC fixed until next summer. i will be out of work until september, so when we need the second car, hopefully it will be cool enough that i can live without the AC.

is that a reasonable plan? why does DH think we need a chrysler 300 or dodge magnum to carry this baby around?

[Deleted]

Only if you talk to my wife about the same thing.

[qofcc]

Is there any possibility of selling all 3 and getting one practical family vehicle, then after you're back to work getting another vehicle?

[Deleted]

DH freaked out about car safety when we started planning on kids. I think it's a caveman thing. Or maybe a father thing. That's how I ended up in a 5300 lb SUV.

What type of car seat do you have? Read the manual carefully. Some rear facing car seats can touch the front seats to work properly, some need a couple of inches of space.

[Deleted]

Jun 13, 2011 11:48:31 GMT -5 keeponworkin said:

2-door SUV is a deathtrap and we agree that baby isn't riding in that.

My rule is that if it is safe enough for me to drive in it is safe enough for my kid to drive in.

[Deleted]

A 12 year old, 2 door SUV might not have stability control which is a big deal in safety.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Something to keep in mind with vehicles is how easy/hard it is to continually be getting an infant seat in and out. I was killing my back hauling DD in and out of the Focus. So when DH got concerned about the safety of the truck, I told him I wanted a minivan and he could drive the Focus. We had another kid after we bought a used Caravan. Removing and installing full sized car seats is a real pain but we don't do it often. And leg room/being able to move the seats back and not squish the kids' legs is going to be an issue.

[Deleted]

Jun 13, 2011 11:48:31 GMT -5 keeponworkin said:

DH and I have the same conversation at least once a week....he is convinced we need to buy a new to us vehicle, now, for the baby (due in 3 weeks).

we currently own 3, 12 year old vehicles. we have a 2-door SUV, too small for him to drive, a 4-door SUV (best bet), and a truck with those half-doors on the backseats that open backwards. we tried the baby seat in the truck, and the backseat is so narrow that it didn't seem to really fit. 2-door SUV is a deathtrap and we agree that baby isn't riding in that.

i plan to take the baby seat and truck to the fire station to see if they say it will be safe. if so, my plan is to sell the 2-door SUV to make enough money to get the AC fixed in truck, or, if possible, wait to get AC fixed until next summer. i will be out of work until september, so when we need the second car, hopefully it will be cool enough that i can live without the AC.

is that a reasonable plan? why does DH think we need a chrysler 300 or dodge magnum to carry this baby around?

make sure that you are getting advice from someone actually certified in child passenger safety - just because the fire department will help you doesn't mean they're certified. also be aware that in the truck, if you are in an accident and the seat rebounds, it will be rebounding off the rear glass, unless you have one the few seats on the market that can be tethered rearfacing.

[cronewitch]

Sell the 2 door SUV now since you can't use it with the baby and your husband is too large to use it. He can drive the truck and you the 4 door SUV. Save the cash from selling the 2 door SUV towards AC repair or a future car when you need one.

[keeponworkin]

thanks for the replies. husband can't drive truck because he has to park in a deck. we already had one "mishap" with the truck and the parking deck.

good point about the car seat hitting the rear window in the truck. i will test that tonight. if the car seat does indeed hit the back window of the truck, them i'm back to square one.

our problem is lack of available cash. of the savings we have, i expect 1/3 will be needed to pay cost of hospital/doctor. we cannot rebuild savings at this time. i am not comfortable spending half of what we have in hand on a used car, especially since we have the daycare expense and unknown amount of hospital/doctors bills upcoming.

[Deleted]

As a couple, we are not picky about what we drive and we really don't have a his car and her car kind of thing going. When our DD was younger, we had 1 car that worked well for the kiddo, whoever had the kid took that car. Now that might not work if you have one person dropping off at daycare and the other picking up, but it worked for us.

[qofcc]

our problem is lack of available cash. of the savings we have, i expect 1/3 will be needed to pay cost of hospital/doctor. we cannot rebuild savings at this time. i am not comfortable spending half of what we have in hand on a used car, especially since we have the daycare expense and unknown amount of hospital/doctors bills upcoming.

Do you not have health insurance to cover most of the hospital/doctor bills?

You won't need daycare until September, right?

[phil5185]

With the truck (and the reverse doors) you will have trouble in parking lots. It is very difficult to get yourself and a child positioned between the opened doors such that you can strap the baby into the seat. Have you ever tried to load groceries from a cart into the backseat of the truck while parked next to a car? It's even worse with a baby - LOL.

ETA - what is a 'deck'?

[wewillsee]

Jun 13, 2011 12:55:49 GMT -5 phil5185 said:

ETA - what is a 'deck'?

Parking structure aka parking garage.

To the OP, just buy a minivan you both can afford - not cool but problem solved. That way, when you have more kids in the future, you won't need to keep changing vehicles.

[Formerly SK]

Jun 13, 2011 11:55:23 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jun 13, 2011 11:48:31 GMT -5 keeponworkin said:

2-door SUV is a deathtrap and we agree that baby isn't riding in that.

My rule is that if it is safe enough for me to drive in it is safe enough for my kid to drive in.

Ditto this. I love my children enough that I don't want to make them orphans.

[muttleynfelix]

We drove around with DS occaisonally in the rear seat of an extended cab GMC Canyon. A couple things on jump seats, they have to be forward facing and not side facing! This is very important. If it is side facing, you cannot install a carseat. The problem we had with the jump seat was that it was not wide enough to get the angle correct on DS's seat. DH ended up making a frame for the carseat that would bolt to the floor, then the base of the infant carrier seat sat on that. The 3 of us only road around twice. It was actually more comfortable for me to sit behind DH in the back than it was in the passenger's seat. Our primary vehicle was a 2 door compact car. The car seat fit much much better. We traded in the Canyon for an SUV when DS was 11 months old. I'm glad we waited and gave it a go with our existing vehicles and knew how much everything was going to cost. We had high deductible insurance (which it sounds like you might have as well) and I didn't know exactly how much it was going to cost. I had a good guess, but it still wasn't exact.

[Deleted]

I'm curious as to how two people have three cars...

[muttleynfelix]

Jun 13, 2011 15:25:02 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

I'm curious as to how two people have three cars...

My BIL is 1 person and he owns 2 cars. Of course the newest one is an '88 Chevy S-10. The other one is '78 Audi.

[Plain Old Petunia]

My BF has 2 cars and a truck. I wonder why all the time.

I think you should sell 2 of your vehicles and get a nice used minivan. Minivans are SO NICE when you have a family. It won't be just you and dh and your kid. In a few years, it will be playdates and outings with family/friends and their kid. It is nice to be able to go in one vehicle. Really. I have 2 kids and there were plenty of times my 7 passenger minivan was full.

[Deleted]

Jun 13, 2011 16:00:49 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

Why is a 2 door SUV somehow a death trap? I toted my kids around in a 2 door Ford Explorer for years.

In your case it would not be called a death trap. It would be called a get-to-meet-Jesus-sooner-rather-than-later trap.

[8 Bit WWBG]

I've never even seen a 2-door SUV. That makes about as much sense as that 3-door thing Saturn put out all those years ago.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jun 13, 2011 16:07:23 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

THere are small 2 door SUVs. What does having a 2 door have to do with anything?

2 doors means you've got to fold the seat forward and heave the infant carrier over the back to get your LO in the car seat, then reverse it to get him/her out. Not my cup of tea...

[thyme4change]

I'm not big on the whole "I need a brand new car to cart around a single baby" theory of parenthood that seems quite prevelant, however, it seems like you have vehicles that won't work for your impending new lifestyle. Having 4 doors is helpful. Getting babies in and out can be awkward. So, make a plan, find a vehicle you can afford and buy a different car. But, no, it doesn't have to be brand new.

[raeoflyte]

We have the family car (prizm) that the car seat goes in, and technically we have a truck. Whoever has the baby gets the prizm, and once the truck is fixed we'll each use that when driving to work.

The prizm is small (but does have 4 doors) and we can't wait to get to something bigger. We're postponing it though until we have more to spend.

[kimber45]

I've never even seen a 2-door SUV.

My S10 Blazer is a 2 -door

I'm curious as to how two people have three cars...

MJ, it is just my DH and I. We have a total of 5 cars (four are licensed and insured). One of our vehicles currently resides with DS as he had an accident with his and hasn't gotten it driveable yet. One I just bought for my "summer fun car" decided not to start so I'm waiting for my mechanic to get an opening to check it out. It is always nice to have a "spare"

[giramomma]

Jun 13, 2011 15:41:48 GMT -5 Plain Old Petunia said:

I think you should sell 2 of your vehicles and get a nice used minivan. Minivans are SO NICE when you have a family. It won't be just you and dh and your kid. In a few years, it will be playdates and outings with family/friends and their kid. It is nice to be able to go in one vehicle. Really. I have 2 kids and there were plenty of times my 7 passenger minivan was full.

I think this depends on the family. My kids didn't really do play dates until they were 4. My older child is 7, and play dates, are well, minimal. We are fortunate that we moved into a neighborhood with other 7 year olds within one block of us. We do have to arrange play dates with the kids from school, but that doesn't happen very often because of schedules..Most kids in my older child's class come from families with two working parents, so play dates during the week aren't all the feasible. Saturdays are filled up with soccer, etc.

If the OP was going to be a SAHM, I could see this argument. But, I'm not sure how practical worrying about playdates is when the baby is going to be in daycare all day long..That's plenty of time for socializing.
Plus, there's the time factor. Unless the OP works something like a 6-3 shift with minimal commute, there won't be much time for play dates during the week.

It's going to be a while before the OP's child is going to get involved in extra cirriculars as well..She's got at least 3 years.

And, we don't know how many of OP's friends are having babies now. We were the first of our friends to have a baby. We were 28 at the time. Some of our good friends have remained childless by choice. We didn't really get to know families until my oldest started kindy.

We are hoping to push off getting minivan if/when we are pregnant with a third. We have a suburu outback and have taken a few two week driving vacations with it and not had any issues with interior space and comfort. We did end up having to get a roof top carrier, but that's much cheaper than buying a newer car.

I think it would be a wiser decision for the OP to make due with one vehicle and then get a plan into place to purchase a newer car once a budget that includes kid expenses has been established.

[keeponworkin]

We have the three vehicles because they are all 12 years old. At any time, at least one is out of commission (we do repairs ourselves, so takes longer than dropping at mechanic's and coming back at 5 pm to pick up). Like now, with the truck AC out.

I tried the car seat in the truck last night. And yes, it will flip up and hit the window glass. So that won't work.

Next I will try to talk to DH about borrowing his parents' extra car for a few months (in case 4-door SUV breaks down after baby comes).

Thanks for the feedback.

[thyme4change]

I think this depends on the family. My kids didn't really do play dates until they were 4.

I agree that you won't start carting around additional children for several years, and even then, you won't NEED a 7-passenger anything unless you are planning on being very reproductively active.

That said, making a long term decision that includes how your life will change over the next 10 or 12 years is probably a good idea.

[Deleted]

Jun 14, 2011 12:08:39 GMT -5 keeponworkin said:

We have the three vehicles because they are all 12 years old. At any time, at least one is out of commission (we do repairs ourselves, so takes longer than dropping at mechanic's and coming back at 5 pm to pick up). Like now, with the truck AC out.

I tried the car seat in the truck last night. And yes, it will flip up and hit the window glass. So that won't work.

Next I will try to talk to DH about borrowing his parents' extra car for a few months (in case 4-door SUV breaks down after baby comes).

Thanks for the feedback.

You could just get a carseat that can be tethered rearfacing (much cheaper than a new vehicle).

[muttleynfelix]

You could just get a carseat that can be tethered rearfacing (much cheaper than a new vehicle).

I think the Britax infant seat has a rebound bar. But it sounds like just making do until you know your expenses and then look for something new since it sounds like you are going to need one in the near future anyway.