happyscooter
Senior Member
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Post by happyscooter on Jun 13, 2011 7:37:06 GMT -5
Backseat, no less.
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Jun 13, 2011 8:09:23 GMT -5
My terribly irresponsible parents did make me a responsible kid and adult. I learned at an early age that nobody was going to take care of me but me, and I have always lived like that. I'm not trying to elicit an "awe, poor FN" response, it just is what it is. My parents cared about the bottles (of booze and pills), the pot, and the cigs more than anything else at that point in their lives. They struggled with money, and had to resort to moving the whole family of five (including my infant brother) into a tent for several months.
We rarely had enough to eat, so I learned to make friends with everyone I met, and would conveniently be at their house to play around dinner time. The house was always a disaster, so at the age of five, I learned how to run the washer and dryer, vacuum, sweep, etc. I'm sure it wasn't perfect, but it helped. My dad was dyslexic and couldn't spell well, so when I went to school, I studied hard and he would call me from work sometimes to ask me how to spell words (one incident that sticks out in my mind was that he called to ask me how to spell Saturday when I was 6). My parents are overweight and overindulgent. I fight like heck to keep my weight down and have some self control. I won't touch booze, cigarettes or drugs. I am careful with my cash. I go out of my way to say kind words to people, because I know how hurtful ugly words can be. I won't hit. I give back to my community. I make sure to live my life to the fullest, because I've seen the two who created me piddle their lives away.
While I'm not thankful for the childhood I had, I am thankful that I was able to find good outside influences and that I had the intelligence to live my life differently. I love my parents, and don't completely blame them. They were raised by alcoholic, poor, abusive parents. That is how they were taught to live. They chose to repeat the cycle. As all of us have gotten older, things have gotten slightly better (but not completely, they still drink too much and are always broke), but they are my family, and I try not to judge them, but love them unconditionally, and stay as far away as I can.
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Frugal Nurse
Familiar Member
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 18:19:55 GMT -5
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Jun 13, 2011 8:16:22 GMT -5
Or, the back seat of a pinto. That is where 87.6% of babies are conceived. I need to get me one of these Pintos... ;D
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 13, 2011 12:41:10 GMT -5
Trouble is is that you have to either distance yourself from the trainwreck or be able to blame spouse for being "mean" with your time, money, emotions, whatever they want to draqin from you. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of posters funding someone else's lifestyle choices.
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Firebird
Senior Associate
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Post by Firebird on Jun 13, 2011 13:27:12 GMT -5
It totally depends. Some kids grow up to be the complete opposite of their parents. Sometimes a trainwreck parent can really inspire a kid to do better and have more.
My best friend is an example of this. She's determined to get her savings up to snuff and always be increasing her job skills. Her mom has always been really close to the line financially - one bad month away from eviction, repossession, etc. And now that my friend is an adult, she's going to need her help on a fairly constant basis. So my friend wants to allow for that too.
I had very financially responsible parents, thank goodness, so I had good examples to follow. But again, the short answer is that every kid is different. Some kids will follow good examples, some will follow bad, and some will completely reject both good and bad examples.
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Firebird
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Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
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Post by Firebird on Jun 13, 2011 13:28:55 GMT -5
My terribly irresponsible parents did make me a responsible kid and adult. I learned at an early age that nobody was going to take care of me but me, and I have always lived like that. I'm not trying to elicit an "awe, poor FN" response, it just is what it is. My parents cared about the bottles (of booze and pills), the pot, and the cigs more than anything else at that point in their lives. They struggled with money, and had to resort to moving the whole family of five (including my infant brother) into a tent for several months.
Frugalnurse, I'm sorry that happened to you (don't worry, no pity here) but many kudos (and karma!) for making the most of a sucky upbringing.
I think that's the best that can be said of anyone who was raised like you. I admire people who play their hand to the best of their ability even when the deck was severely stacked against them.
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Frugal Nurse
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Joined: Jan 3, 2011 18:19:55 GMT -5
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Jun 13, 2011 15:58:10 GMT -5
Firebird- Thanks. My past really doesn't bother me anymore. When I was still living with them, but old enough to know that not everyone lived like that, I would sometimes have "why me?" moments, but these days, I just look at it as the past. No use dwelling on it, all we have is right now. I am grateful that I had some wonderful teachers and friends who had great parents. I'm sure my teachers and friends' parents knew my home life wasn't right, but never said anything about it. They were sure to give me extra attention, feed me, and make sure I felt loved. I followed their examples, since they made me feel good about myself.
I think that is why I'm so anal about others though. I'm pretty harsh on people who use the "my life is out of my control" excuse as to why they're broke/obese/crappy people. I don't "do" victim.
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Jun 13, 2011 16:04:24 GMT -5
Not that anyone asked me, but when the shit hits the fan...my guess is that the child is a boy. And again, no one asked, but I think the parents are nutjobs and doing a disservice to all of their children.
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Jun 13, 2011 16:15:59 GMT -5
Not that anyone asked me, but when the shit hits the fan...my guess is that the child is a boy. And again, no one asked, but I think the parents are nutjobs and doing a disservice to all of their children. I think it is a boy too- it just looks like a boy. And the parents are crazy yuppies. I think their kids are going to be selfish, whiney adults who live at mom and dad's until they are 45.
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daylight
Junior Member
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Post by daylight on Jun 17, 2011 17:45:17 GMT -5
I, too, think that it is a boy. I don't buy it that almost nobody knows the gender of the baby. I mean, they must change him like 8-10 times per day. Also, I really want them to tell me how their 2-year old keeps this a secret, or the 5-year old, as a matter of fact. And don't they see a doctor with the baby? Oh wait, they are the kind of people who would not get the kids their shots...
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