Do you know any families . . .

[Deleted]

that have been flattened financially by healthcare disasters? I'm reading a book called "The War on Moms" and a common theme is having a child with massive healthcare bills (preemies, cerebral palsy, twins, complications) or taking care of a sick relative and the terrible effect it can have on families with limited sick/vacation leave.

[Deleted]

Speaking just for myself - DH and I would have been flattened by my pregnancy if we hadn't had considerable financial resources. Like I've posted in other threads we spend around 14k a year after our premiums on healthcare bills.

[Formerly SK]

We've cashflowed over 50K in medical expenses (NOT insurance premiums) in the past four years. This is mostly due to DS's autism, but DD has had some health problems too. The only reason we are not "flattened" is because we live below our means. Course we've had to severely cut back our 401k contributions...we are slowly getting those back up as the medical stuff (knock on wood) eases up.

[dancinmama]

We could have very easily been flattened. DS had open heart surgery and when he was five and eye surgery a year after that. As it was, we paid really high insurance premiums for years just so that he could go to a particular pediatric cardiologist that was 50 miles from our home.

[dragonfly7]

Yes. Both of DH's parents became physically disabled while he was in high school and had to declare bankruptcy. His younger sister has been dealing with similar problems for six years.

[cronewitch]

A coworker had a baby that seemed normal at first. His wife was still on maternity leave when the baby began having seizures. The baby needed full time care so more than one person could do so he had to be home too. He used all his sick and vacation but still couldn't work most of the time. For a while the baby was in the hospital and they needed to be there to record how often the seizures were so had to take shifts. Coworkers were allowed to donate sick or vacation to him so he was able to keep getting a paycheck. I left the job so don't know how the baby turned out but if he survived I don't think the new mother will be going back to work. The baby was probably brain damaged the seizures were about 5 minutes apart.

My niece's daughter needed over a million in medical cost and therapy her first few years but they were able to deal with it. She is 12 now and I don't think is is extra expensive anymore. When she was born with down syndrome she ran through lifetime benefits of more than one medical insurance policy and parents were paying $100 an hour out of pocket for things like teaching her to throw a baseball or play alone. Her mother quit working before she was born anyhow but will never work again. The dad owns a business so had to change the company insurance whenever she ran out of benefits, his business is doing great so they are rather rich anyhow. The girl did cost them thousands last week, they needed to buy a 39ft 5th wheel to have one big enough that they had space for her to get away for quiet time when she can't deal with people.

[reader79]

My brother has been in and out of hospitals since he was six months old due to issues with his legs. I remember that he used to receive a monthly check - medicaid maybe? We were very close to the poverty level, as my mother hadn't gone back to work yet. He qualified for physical therapy, and he went to a special pre-k program for that. My mother went back to work when he was turning three, and she was a teacher so her insurance covered everything after that. His last few surgeries these past two years were done for free by the Shriners Hospital. My mom had to put out for a wheelchair rental, and we retrofitted a bedroom and a bathroom in the downstairs level of the house. Oh, and countless game systems and computers to keep him occupied.

If she hadn't started and kept the city job, with the insurance that they provided, I could see how things might have turned out differently.

ETA: she had twins before him, but they weren't much of a strain. People gave us tons of stuff, clothes, etc. She was a SAHM at the time, so no daycare.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My BIL and his wife have had some hefty medical expenses the last 4 years or so. Their DD has an alphabet of diagnoses (sp?) starting with ADHD and has spent some time in the children's ward of a mental hospital. BIL and his wife are also dealing with depression (there's been some inpatient and outpatient treatment) and diabetes. I know their health insurance has covered quite a bit but the copays for mental health are NOT cheap.

They're not in the best place financially but they've made (and continue to make) some interesting decisions along the way that don't help their situation, in my opinion. What I know is based on things they've told me, DH or his mom, who sometimes relays stuff to us.

[midjd]

I don't have any kids, but this did happen to my grandfather. He owned his own law practice for decades and made great money - but had some health issues (childhood bout of rheumatic fever that damaged his heart valves, asthma) that made him essentially uninsurable. He was on quite a few medications (most of which were contraindicated) so required frequent doctor visits for monitoring. He also landed in the hospital with an asthma attack about every 6 months. His medical bills and copays ate up every cent he made and then some. We're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.

He died of a heart attack in a motel room at age 59 after selling his home and office to pay hospital bills. Toward the end he began giving my brother, sister and me some of his more valuable possessions - which makes me think BK (or suicide) was down the road. It was a very sad situation, and is not unique in any way.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My grandfather had a brain tumor and it could have easily wiped out my grandparents despite my grandmother having saved and planned for old age VERY carefully. His doctor got him enrolled in a trial study so he got his chemotherapy 100% free and all follow-ups in exchange for participating.

[giramomma]

There's a second cousin in our family who got pregnant and had a baby at 17. The baby has a congenital heart defect and will need 5 more open heart surgeries throughout his life. The baby is not yet 6 months old and has spent most of its life in a hospital already.

The teen mom is the first of four children and her youngest sibling is 8 or 9.

The parents really aren't professional types..Think vet assistant and school bus driver. I think they were doing OK before their grandbaby..but now...

[resolution]

My friend when I was in college had a baby with Spina Bifida. Ashleigh required 24 hour care and lived for 3 years before she passed away. My friend's husband left her after the first year because he couldn't handle the stress of the disabled baby, and she moved in with her parents. She had to quit her job and go on Medicaid because her job's insurance would not cover the frequent hospitalizations and surgeries that the baby needed, and with her husband gone there was no one to provide care while she was at work. After the baby passed away my friend went back to work and had a normal career.

[lulubean]

Honestly barring DH wanting to be there I would call in the troops before I let DH lose his job in the sick child situation. Now I understand not everyone has people and I do but would only call on them in a dire situation. Other than that DH and me have always dealt with things ourselves and we have had a few.

[april47]

End of life care can devastate the surviving spouse if there is no life insurance. It ran about $750,000 to try to save my husband from the cancer that got him. Luckily, most was paid by insurance but there was still a chunk for me to pay out of his life insurance when it was all done. He was only 64 so we wanted to try at least. It would have been worth it if he had lived, but we would have had a big bill to pay.

[lulubean]

I thank the big man upstairs that we have not experienced devastation in our lives, had some really tough times but not total devastion of the heart, head, finances etc.

[KaraBoo]

My cousins are currently dealing with this.

He's currently in ICU dealing with crohn's disease and a ruptured bowel. He's been in the ICU for 2 weeks now battling all of the complications.

4 years ago, both him and his wife lost their jobs within 2 months of each other and they both had fairly high paying jobs for our area. They were able to float along until they got much lower paying jobs about 6 months later. However, the unemployment wasn't anywhere near what they needed to pay for their expenses so a lot of things went on credit cards to carry them through the unemployment months. This was even after cutting back on everything they could (daughter came out of private school and went into public school for example).

They sold everything they could, including their house. For the last year and a half, they've been living in a travel trailer that her mom bought them on her sister's land. Just recently (about 3 months ago), they moved the trailer onto land they bought (not very expensive - about $14,000 for 5 acres).

Then the bowels ruptured on my cousin. His wife confessed to me last weekend in the ICU that they had been contemplating bankruptcy for a while now. They even talked to an attorney who said to wait a couple of more months because they had tried to do the right thing and sent the little bit of income tax they received to a bill.

She said if it hadn't been for the fact that they had already accepted the fact that they were filing for bankruptcy in another month anyway, his hospital stay would have sent her over the edge stress-wise. She doesn't even want to think about how much the bill is going to be.

[busymom]

Due to DS's disability, I've met lots of Moms over the years who took huge hits financially when one of their kids ended up with a disability. My DH had the highest level of health insurance his company offered, but still didn't cover all of the needs our son had. DS's bills, a job change & then job loss by DH, and unexpected surgeries for DH & I really messed up our finances, but we are in the process of digging our way out. Of the other Moms I've met, the one that stands out had a child diagnosed with cancer. Her family had health insurance, but because the insurance co. weaseled out of paying for a lot of things her son needed to stay alive, they ended up with medical bills totalling over $300,000. God Bless 'em!

[Wisconsin Beth]

We've got a firefighter here who's son was diagnosed with cancer. They must have blown though the $1M insurance cap in short order because for a couple of years there were flyers coming around about fund raisers to help the family out. I haven't seen one in a couple of years now or heard anything so I think he's in remission now. At least I hope he is.

[sil]

Around our son's 3rd birthday, a friend who happens to be a school psychologist told us that we might want to have DS assessed at our school district for Autism. We had no clue, nor did our pediatrician, but the school district quickly assigned him to their lowest-functioning special preschool program and speech therapy (occupational therapy was later added to his IEP) We began the process of working with our county's Regional Center to get a formal diagnosis and see if he qualified for services. We were diligent and received his formal diagnosis 6 months later, and DS started receiving ABA therapy 10 months later (this was a very fast turnaround for Regional Center services) We were also able to use insurance for psychologist appointments (not doing that anymore) as well as to see a specialist for related G.I. issues. DH and I both changed jobs so we can work from home a couple of days a week so that DS can have his ABA therapy. We are so fortunate that due to the level of services offered where we live, due to our ability to switch jobs to such a family-friendly company with good benefits, and due to the fact that we know how to work our way through buracracy to advocate for our son. All we had to pay for these services was medical co-payments.

When we first learned that DS might have autism, we started researching everything we could find, and it was horrible. At the end of my first day of research, I was convinced that DS would be financially and physically dependent upon us forever. First, you see all of this information about Early Intervention, and how it is so very important to start behavior therapies as early as possible. Our son was only 3, and we were already too late for many EI programs. Then you see scary statistics about the percentage of marriages with children with Autism that end in divorce (80%, according to some studies) the percentage of families that file bankruptcy due to the costs of therapies, medical bills, etc. and of course, you also find out that Autism has no cure.

But that doesn't stop families with kids with Autism from trying everything, including spending tens of thousands on behavioral therapies, and even some medical interventions that are likely more harmful than helpful. There is no shortage of snakeoil salesmen out there either, preying on families who are willing to pay anything, try anything in hopes of making their child one of the small percentage that actually loses their diagnosis.

Many states are now requiring insurance companies to cover the most proven therapies for Autism, and public schools nationwide offer special ed preschool/school and ST and OT for free, but there are still so many families that aren't getting the services their children need because they dont have insurance or their insurance doesnt cover Autism, or who are so perplexed by the information out there especially from the snakeoil salesmen, or who get so frustrated waiting for State services (when everyone says your child needs intervention immediately), that they just fork over their life's savings and then some in the hopes of a miracle.

[Deleted]

My friend's son was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder at 2. They quit speech therapy recently because they were getting $600 bills for each visit (high deductible insurance). They are hoping to get help through the Early Intervention program but haven't received a reply - although they called weeks ago.

Out of the 15 moms in my playgroup three children so far have been diagnosed with something and need OT - and the oldest child is 2.5 years old.

[sil]

$600 per visit, that's insane!

Anne, how old is he? Once he's 3 years old, your friend should call the local school district and ask for an assessment.

I'm not surprised to hear that they are still waiting on a call from Early Intervention. Please tell your friend to be persistent. It helped us a lot. The agency that does our ABA even told us that Regional Center prioritizes cases where the parents demonstrate that they are "serious" about getting services as soon as possible.

By any chance, are you in CA?

[Deleted]

We are in OR. His visits were being charged like having a baby - it's insane. A facility fee, a therapist fee, and a materials fee, each billed separately. In addition it's a 45 minute drive in each direction. He will be three in February of next year and I'll mention calling the school district at that point to my friend.

Thanks for the tip on being persistent!

[april47]

Our school district has something called ECI, Early Childhood Intervention for children from birth to 3. This could be motor or developmental problems due to problems at birth or certain illnesses. After 3 they could goto PPCD, a half day class that all the school districts in Texas offer. Its free but they have to have diabilities or problems that require extra speech, motor, or developmental issues and be tested and approved.

[Formerly SK]

Jun 3, 2011 17:40:58 GMT -5 @anne81 said:

We are in OR. His visits were being charged like having a baby - it's insane. A facility fee, a therapist fee, and a materials fee, each billed separately. In addition it's a 45 minute drive in each direction. He will be three in February of next year and I'll mention calling the school district at that point to my friend.

Thanks for the tip on being persistent!

We were in OR until just before DS started Kindy. IMO the services were horrible...little better than plopping him in front of the TV. I think it was a funding issue - they just had too many kiddos and not enough resources to help them. We moved to WA last year and they are SO much better. OMG what a difference. If I had known this I would have moved sooner. DS is mainstreamed in a regular Kindy class but has FT access to a 1x1 aide whenever he needs it plus gets extra OT/ST/tutoring and pullouts to the ASD room when he gets sensory overload. Money does not appear to be a concern with his school.