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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2021 13:51:49 GMT -5
You didn't do anything wrong, and you aren't a bad parent. So there. Your DS is having a hard time adjusting to kindergarten. So are lots of other kids. Their parents didn't do anything wrong, either, and they aren't bad parents. The therapist will help to get him and you pointed in the right direction. There's hope. Wednesday is the day after tomorrow. Hang on. And another thing...20 years from now you won't be getting daily incident reports from his kindergarten teacher
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 9, 2021 14:52:49 GMT -5
DS started kindergarten last week and it's not going well. We are getting a daily incident. Hitting, throwing things, tantrums. I'm at a loss. I knew he would have trouble adjusting. He doesn't adapt well to new environments and he has trouble regulating his emotions. We have an appointment with a therapist Wednesday that we set up two months ago to help ease the transition. That was the soonest we could get him in and its not soon enough. Playing a lot of should have, could have, would have. I don't know where I went wrong. I just want him to be happy and thrive and for everyone else to see the sweet boy that I do, and I hate sending him off know that he is struggling and other kids are having to bear the consequences of my bad parenting. You didn't do anything wrong. I've lost count of how many kids I've seen have bad first day/week/month of school or daycare. One of the most impressive was a kid clinging to his mom's leg screaming bloody murder all the way to the door as the teachers tried to pry him off. Every single one of them adjusted. You did nothing wrong. Even some adults struggle badly with change it's unrealistic to expect children won't too.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Aug 9, 2021 14:57:04 GMT -5
cktc - You definitely did not do anything wrong. My kids are so damn different and I raised them both the same. Also, my 19 year old has a file about 4 inches thick from grade school. His dad and I were in meetings with the teachers and counselors ALL THE TIME. Very stressful. So...
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 9, 2021 15:14:49 GMT -5
cktc - our friends at the elementary school office has said the beginning of kindergarten is hardest while they figure out who needs what support and services. The school should be helping you come up with a plan. If they haven't volunteered, ask them for their ideas and then you can run through them with the therapist too.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Aug 9, 2021 15:25:03 GMT -5
No way are you a bad parent. A bad parent wouldn't have thought ahead and taken the time to start therapy. Not your fault it takes way too long to be seen.
Wondering if he's physically acting out because he doesn't have verbal skills to convey what he needs to.
I'm a grown woman who's fairly well adjusted, and I find myself wanting to punch someone almost daily after the upheaval of this last year+.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2021 15:30:52 GMT -5
I'm a grown woman who's fairly well adjusted, and I find myself wanting to punch someone almost daily after the upheaval of this last year+. Me, too. We should start a club.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 9, 2021 15:36:39 GMT -5
I'm a grown woman who's fairly well adjusted, and I find myself wanting to punch someone almost daily after the upheaval of this last year+. Me, too. We should start a club. I'll bring the 2x4s. The level of rage I have anymore to even the smallest disruption to routine or plans has kindergarten kids beat. If I'm that way as an adult I can only imagine after 2020 and the ensuing chaos how bad the first day of school is going to be for kids.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2021 15:59:47 GMT -5
Glad it's not just me. Anymore I get frustrated at the smallest change to anything, anything at all.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Aug 9, 2021 16:49:17 GMT -5
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 9, 2021 17:09:37 GMT -5
My boys' kindergarten teacher, who had 5 boys of her own, said that boys in her class tend to vie for position. TT did moreso than MM, but I guess it's a thing. I think any kindergartener with issues adjusting to school at first is totally normal. At least some of it is on the teacher to handle in the classroom immediately (set the tone), and not let it wait for parents later on. The delay just does not work, imo. This kindergarten teacher understood this. A much more inexperienced 1st grade teacher the next year did not so much. Le sigh.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 9, 2021 17:12:02 GMT -5
Finally got a back to school email for middle school. Didn't really answer any questions about covid arrangements, but we got a little information about the ports of call before school starts.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Aug 9, 2021 19:10:17 GMT -5
We met with the school social worker and she suspects he is on the spectrum. She's going to put us in touch with the special ed department. Feeling a little better at least knowing the school wants to work with us, but still emotionally wrung out and feeling down that he is having so much trouble adjusting.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 10, 2021 0:26:22 GMT -5
We met with the school social worker and she suspects he is on the spectrum. She's going to put us in touch with the special ed department. Feeling a little better at least knowing the school wants to work with us, but still emotionally wrung out and feeling down that he is having so much trouble adjusting. Is he getting enough sleep? When my oldest started kindergarten, I wasn’t prepared for how tired and exhausted he was at the end of each school day. Some nights I literally sent him to bed at like 6pm because he was a crankpot and needed sleep. My youngest starts and Thursday and I’m mentally preparing myself for the start of earlier bedtimes again.
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Aug 10, 2021 6:26:46 GMT -5
You are not a bad parent. I question my parenting all the time, but we are all doing the best we can. My two boys are only 2 years apart and completely different in attitude, emotions, learning, etc. I warned the principal about DS#2 when he started kindergarten. Told him that he would be in the office to visit him. Sure enough, first week of school, DS#2 punched a kid on the playground for cutting in line at the tire swing. Principal called me, I talked to DS#2. We had many calls from the teachers throughout his elementary years. His "file" was much thicker than DS#1 in grade school. I worried about his outbursts and how that affected the other kids too. Therapist will help a lot. We are glad DS#2 trusted his therapist and he would go to her when things would bother him and his anger would surface.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Aug 10, 2021 7:31:08 GMT -5
Carrot had his initial consultation with the therapist last Thursday and he's 10X worse now! I don't know if it was talking to her about his throat issues or his dad this past weekend going on about his tonsils and the surgery, but I picked him up Sunday night and he's back to having trouble swallowing and constantly clearing his throat and coughing.
Today he gets his covid test and Thursday is surgery. I'm starting to become as much of a nervous wreck as him and am contemplating asking his dad if he still takes xanax. I'm really worried about having a panic attack at the hospital.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Aug 10, 2021 12:10:58 GMT -5
We met with the school social worker and she suspects he is on the spectrum. She's going to put us in touch with the special ed department. Feeling a little better at least knowing the school wants to work with us, but still emotionally wrung out and feeling down that he is having so much trouble adjusting. Is he getting enough sleep? When my oldest started kindergarten, I wasn’t prepared for how tired and exhausted he was at the end of each school day. Some nights I literally sent him to bed at like 6pm because he was a crankpot and needed sleep. My youngest starts and Thursday and I’m mentally preparing myself for the start of earlier bedtimes again. I think so. He's always been at the lower end of recommended sleep though. He just wakes earlier when I move his bedtime up. He usually sleeps 8pm-6am.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Aug 10, 2021 12:12:30 GMT -5
Carrot had his initial consultation with the therapist last Thursday and he's 10X worse now! I don't know if it was talking to her about his throat issues or his dad this past weekend going on about his tonsils and the surgery, but I picked him up Sunday night and he's back to having trouble swallowing and constantly clearing his throat and coughing. Today he gets his covid test and Thursday is surgery. I'm starting to become as much of a nervous wreck as him and am contemplating asking his dad if he still takes xanax. I'm really worried about having a panic attack at the hospital. I hope the surgery helps
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 10, 2021 13:04:05 GMT -5
Good luck, mpl! I hope the surgery goes well and helps with his issues.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Aug 10, 2021 22:07:43 GMT -5
Carrot had his first real EMDR therapy session this afternoon and it went great! They do all these mind games to desensitize and cut the emotional link to stimuli that causes anxiety. He thought it was super fun and said it helped a lot. I'm not sure if it really helped or he was just that he was feeling good at the time because we weren't exactly testing it with anything that makes him anxious, but he wasn't doing the non stop coughing and throat clearing tonight so I call that a win.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 12, 2021 11:44:36 GMT -5
Got the kids off to school for their first day. Forgot to include a note for ds lunch carbs, and dh picked a fight with him about his pump before we left, but overall we did ok. Our district isn't requiring masks, but both said they'd wear them. Fingers crossed.
Ds agreed that I can ask him 20 questions about his day when he gets home.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 12, 2021 15:24:06 GMT -5
Baby taz157 was born today. Baby and I are doing great!! We’ll be at the hospital until at least Saturday, just depends on my recovery.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 12, 2021 15:35:56 GMT -5
Baby taz157 was boring today. Baby and I are doing great!! We’ll be at the hospital until at least Saturday, just depends on my recovery. Congrats, taz!!! So excited and happy for you!!
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 12, 2021 15:37:16 GMT -5
First day of school for my kiddos today. We do have a mask mandate per our school board, so I was happy when that happened late last week. M is in kindergarten and C is in 4th grade. Pic for those not on FB.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 12, 2021 15:46:54 GMT -5
Baby taz157 was boring today. Baby and I are doing great!! We’ll be at the hospital until at least Saturday, just depends on my recovery. Yay! Congrats Taz!
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 12, 2021 16:15:50 GMT -5
First day of school for my kiddos today. We do have a mask mandate per our school board, so I was happy when that happened late last week. M is in kindergarten and C is in 4th grade. Pic for those not on FB. He's so tall!
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Aug 12, 2021 17:54:38 GMT -5
Congrats Taz!
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ners
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Post by ners on Aug 12, 2021 19:06:31 GMT -5
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Aug 12, 2021 19:20:45 GMT -5
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Aug 13, 2021 6:24:47 GMT -5
Congratulations Taz!!! So happy for you and your family!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 16, 2021 13:46:25 GMT -5
Congrats Taz!
K and C started school today. K is in 8th grade wtih 2 high school classes (geometry and biology) and C is in 6th grade. Here's hoping today went well for them!
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