TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 19, 2021 9:55:14 GMT -5
I don't understand why they were so bent out of shape about roseola except that he's never even had a cold before. His only problems have been with he is teething.
They can't keep him in a bubble forever.
If their campus opens this fall (still up in the air in Canada), they will have to put him in day care--at least part time.
Personally, I didn't think they would be able to put up with my sister and BIL for 3 weeks, but they did. That's when it blew up. That's when they came here and niece-in-law was in tears because she finally realized her mother-in-law doesn't like her and she is correct. I didn't tell her that, but my sister has never liked her and never will.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 19, 2021 9:58:07 GMT -5
Every new parent has the jitters about germs. I imagine that having had a kid during a pandemic turns the dial up quite a bit.
But yeah eventually they will have to learn to deal with it.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 19, 2021 10:04:42 GMT -5
Every new parent has the jitters about germs. I imagine that having had a kid during a pandemic turns the dial up quite a bit. But yeah eventually they will have to learn to deal with it. We were not allowed to meet baby without a negative covid test. I totally understood that, but he's 13 months old now. I understand he can't get vaccinated and life in Toronto has been one lockdown after another. Parents have not even set foot on the campus on which they teach. Over a year in Toronto and they haven't met people. They've always made friends with other faculty members but there are no in person events so they have met no one from the university in person.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2021 10:14:35 GMT -5
When DS1 was born, my middle name was Doctor!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 19, 2021 10:37:59 GMT -5
DH rushed us to the ER when Gwen was a few weeks old over contact dermatitis. I recognized what it was because that's what happens anytime I use certain products. I told him we need to switch detergent and rewash all her clothes. It'll go away in 24 hours. Nope nope nope we have to go to the ER.
We had already met our OOP max so the visit was 100% covered otherwise I would have fought him harder on it. REALLY glad the kids are older now because who knows how bad his hypochondria would have gotten if we had infants with all this going on right now.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 19, 2021 11:35:15 GMT -5
Probably the 4 year old. I think its most likely little kids get each other sick. well, TT isn't skipping 3rd grade because he didn't excell in the 4th grade math tests, I guess? I don't know why they gave him that and not the 3rd grade ones. I mean, he would still need to learn stuff in 4th grade. If he aced 4th, wouldn't that mean he should go to 5th grade? He did get a B+ in 4th grade reading. Anyway, he will have the same awesome 3rd grade teacher that his older brother had, and we will keep an eye on him and reevaluate at the beginning of the year. If I worked with him, I could get him up to speed on that, but then if he doesn't skip, he'd be even more out of sync with his class than he already is. I'm scratching my head on similar stuff. C has gone up a grade for math since 1st grade. Homeschooling this year meant ge didn't do the I'ready test that they use for placement, but they have all of his prior year results. First the middle school said they'd just put him in 7th grade math, then they said based on last years test scores tgey'd probably do 8th grade. Then they'd have him come in to take I-ready, which I said was fine, he did cmas at the school, but reminded them he's on a 504 and needs access to the health aide. So then they said they'd just send the year end test home. We got one, and ge could only do a couple problems. Found out that was end of 7th grade, so we go back and get end of 6th grade test which went better, but I haven't heard back how he did and where theyre putting him. I get its a crazy year, but the end of 7th grade test seems odd. I guess if he tested high enough on I-ready he could go on to 8th, but theres almost no way he wouldn't be missing information.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 19, 2021 18:19:19 GMT -5
When DS1 was born, my middle name was Doctor! We called my mom Dr. Mom. Those poor kids had planned on my sister staying with them for a week or two. The first bath they gave the baby, they were afraid they would burn him. They went to far the other direction and his skin turned blue and he started chattering. They called 911, who patched them through to the pediatrician who talked to them calmly through skin to skin contact and warm blankets. He was fine and they laugh about it now.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on May 19, 2021 18:53:47 GMT -5
Personally, I didn't think they would be able to put up with my sister and BIL for 3 weeks, but they did. That's when it blew up. That's when they came here and niece-in-law was in tears because she finally realized her mother-in-law doesn't like her and she is correct. I didn't tell her that, but my sister has never liked her and never will. That stinks. I know it happens more often than I probably realize, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck when you realize the parent of the person you love doesn’t like you.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 20, 2021 8:37:14 GMT -5
I know she appreciated that I held her and told her I love her. She said she didn't feel like anyone in that family likes her. I don't know if it's true, but that is how she feels.
I know she was in tears when she arrived. I didn't see it in real time, but I could see it on the doorbell camera.
Everything that the couple does that my sister doesn't like is DIL's fault. Everything. They're moving to Canada was her fault. The baby not walking was her fault. And on and on.
I was told only I will be getting baby pictures. They once didn't speak or communicate with his family for 4 years. I think this rift has caused another one of those periods.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on May 24, 2021 19:07:09 GMT -5
Saying Hi to everyone.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on May 24, 2021 21:28:05 GMT -5
I know she appreciated that I held her and told her I love her. She said she didn't feel like anyone in that family likes her. I don't know if it's true, but that is how she feels. I know she was in tears when she arrived. I didn't see it in real time, but I could see it on the doorbell camera. Everything that the couple does that my sister doesn't like is DIL's fault. Everything. They're moving to Canada was her fault. The baby not walking was her fault. And on and on. I was told only I will be getting baby pictures. They once didn't speak or communicate with his family for 4 years. I think this rift has caused another one of those periods. I'm sorry the visit didn't work out like they hoped. From what you've shared of your sister, though, I don't blame them. Kinda reminds me of our families. If I were in their shoes, I'd be pissed that they ignored my request and exposed my baby to an unmasked/unvaccinated guest. It does sound like they are overprotective, but he's their baby, so that's their choice. Just another point-of-view. I hope everything works out well for them. It's not easy being a new parent and even more difficult with the pandemic and moving to another country.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 24, 2021 22:25:10 GMT -5
I think Carrot needs a therapist. He has so much anxiety and lately it's been keeping him from falling asleep. He always thinks something is wrong with him. He can't breathe or there's something in his throat or his heart is hurting. He'll be fine all day when his mind is occupied, but then he gets a thought in his head like he can't breathe and it just takes over, I can tell when he's getting in that zone because you can tell he's consciously focusing on his breathing. At bedtime is the worst because that's when he is lying there just thinking about how he feels. Tonight is the 3rd night in a row he's wanted me to take him to the ER. I try telling him he's just having a panic attack and he needs to think about something else. Sometimes if he reads a book until he's exhausted that works, but tonight it was almost 10pm before he quit coming out of his room ever 10 or 15 minutes. I'm seriously about to just take him to the ER so someone else will tell him he's fine.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on May 25, 2021 8:07:30 GMT -5
Oh, MPL that has to be awful. I can sometimes take control of my own panic attacks by reciting a mantra. You might also want to try breathing exercises in apps like Calm or Headspace. When I do them every day, I seem to build up a sort of reserve that really helps my anxiety. They feel crazy weird to do but are totally worth it.
The calm app also has bedtime stories, nature sounds, and soothing music. Maybe that would allow his mind to focus.
I've gone to the ER with a panic attack. It was no picnic. They don't have a way to treat it, and it was way more frustrating than it was worth and made me feel even crazier.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 25, 2021 9:11:27 GMT -5
I know she appreciated that I held her and told her I love her. She said she didn't feel like anyone in that family likes her. I don't know if it's true, but that is how she feels. I know she was in tears when she arrived. I didn't see it in real time, but I could see it on the doorbell camera. Everything that the couple does that my sister doesn't like is DIL's fault. Everything. They're moving to Canada was her fault. The baby not walking was her fault. And on and on. I was told only I will be getting baby pictures. They once didn't speak or communicate with his family for 4 years. I think this rift has caused another one of those periods. I'm sorry the visit didn't work out like they hoped. From what you've shared of your sister, though, I don't blame them. Kinda reminds me of our families. If I were in their shoes, I'd be pissed that they ignored my request and exposed my baby to an unmasked/unvaccinated guest. It does sound like they are overprotective, but he's their baby, so that's their choice. Just another point-of-view. I hope everything works out well for them. It's not easy being a new parent and even more difficult with the pandemic and moving to another country. Thanks. I do think they are overprotective but I was not a new parent totally on our own during a pandemic and living in a city where because of the pandemic there have been no campus activities, which they have always participated in. The building where they live has done nothing social due to the pandemic. They support each other and they will get through this. Sister has to be in charge. That is her problem with them and with me. They did send a video of him this morning. He's so much more mobile and he's learned to chirp like a bird.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 25, 2021 9:15:12 GMT -5
I think Carrot needs a therapist. He has so much anxiety and lately it's been keeping him from falling asleep. He always thinks something is wrong with him. He can't breathe or there's something in his throat or his heart is hurting. He'll be fine all day when his mind is occupied, but then he gets a thought in his head like he can't breathe and it just takes over, I can tell when he's getting in that zone because you can tell he's consciously focusing on his breathing. At bedtime is the worst because that's when he is lying there just thinking about how he feels. Tonight is the 3rd night in a row he's wanted me to take him to the ER. I try telling him he's just having a panic attack and he needs to think about something else. Sometimes if he reads a book until he's exhausted that works, but tonight it was almost 10pm before he quit coming out of his room ever 10 or 15 minutes. I'm seriously about to just take him to the ER so someone else will tell him he's fine. Another one who has gone to the ER for a panic attack. It's no bed of roses and here they threatened to put me in the psych ward. They actually have 12 beds for a psych ward. Nothing wrong with taking him to a therapist. That's too much anxiety for a kid to be having. I know once that thought that triggered the panic gets in your head, it's very difficult to get it to stop. As azucena said, there are probably apps. What worked for me was biofeedback.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 25, 2021 10:06:16 GMT -5
I was perusing the websites for "child counselors" and "child therapists" and got a little overwhelmed so instead I sent an email to our county Child and Family Services and asked them for help/referrals. I have panic attacks too, so you'd think I'd empathize more and be helpful, but I'm starting to just get frustrated. My panic attacks have definite triggers though, so take away the trigger and I'm good. He claims that's why his is an actual illness and not in his head. I'm trying to explain to him that he hyper focuses on something minor physical and it just cascades out of control so he has to break that train of thought. He doesn't think this makes any sense, and it doesn't. It's not a logical thing for your brain to make you think you're dying.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 25, 2021 10:49:22 GMT -5
Can you try his gp for a regular appointment?
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 25, 2021 11:36:38 GMT -5
I could. I need to schedule an appointment for a well visit and get his medical forms filled out for scout camping this summer anyhow, but I'm not sure what they'd do? After many years of regular doctors just blowing me off, I don't have a lot of confidence he'd get anymore than the useless advice I got.
I was always dead set against medicating kids, but on the other hand, I think an anti-anxiety med would have been life changing for me had I had access to one. I find myself thinking a lot more lately, "wouldn't it be nice to just hand him a pill when he gets likes this and have it go away "?
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on May 25, 2021 11:45:23 GMT -5
My DS#2 thought there was something wrong with his heart. (He wanted to go to ER too) We took him to his GP and she referred him to a pediatric heart doctor. They ran a bunch of tests and everything was fine. We were pretty sure he was fine, but his anxiety was getting the best of him and he felt much better hearing it from the doctor. We also had to put him in therapy for a food issue. He had trust issues with food - how it was prepared, who prepared it, etc. He would use me as a guinea pig. If he saw me or DH eat it, he then trusted the food. Even packaged food he would inspect the wrapper to be sure it wasn't tampered with. Therapy was the best medicine for him. These kids have so many things going on that they have to deal with that I didn't as a kid. It breaks my heart.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 25, 2021 12:21:46 GMT -5
My DS#2 thought there was something wrong with his heart. (He wanted to go to ER too) We took him to his GP and she referred him to a pediatric heart doctor. They ran a bunch of tests and everything was fine. We were pretty sure he was fine, but his anxiety was getting the best of him and he felt much better hearing it from the doctor. We also had to put him in therapy for a food issue. He had trust issues with food - how it was prepared, who prepared it, etc. He would use me as a guinea pig. If he saw me or DH eat it, he then trusted the food. Even packaged food he would inspect the wrapper to be sure it wasn't tampered with. Therapy was the best medicine for him. These kids have so many things going on that they have to deal with that I didn't as a kid. It breaks my heart. I think I'm going to have to break down and pay for doctor visit. I know he's fine physically, but I'm just sending the message to him that I don't believe him, which is a sucky thing to do.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 25, 2021 12:51:49 GMT -5
I think letting him know you hear him and asking him to hear you is a good plan. Does suck to do appointments he doesnt need.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 25, 2021 13:06:15 GMT -5
When I was looking for a therapist for C I went to psychology today and then picked our insurance, and picked from a very extensive list of what I was looking for and then emailed the first few that looked promising.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 25, 2021 15:17:55 GMT -5
Picked him up from school today and asked how his day went and it was "Great!" Got his books from scholastic which made him happy and had a bunch of stories to tell after being back (they've been quarantined). I asked if he still wanted to go to urgent care. "No, I'm fine."
We'll see. I'm hoping just being tired wins out tonight after 3 nights of not falling asleep until late.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on May 25, 2021 17:50:41 GMT -5
Do you think Carrot's recent anxiety could have anything to do with that assignment he was working on? Or the quarantine?
Glad he's feeling better now.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on May 25, 2021 19:18:16 GMT -5
I think carrot has always been an anxious kid. Given what I know of anxious kids, having had a few, please take him to the Dr. and discuss this. Counseling would help also but there are meds he can take for moments when it gets really bad. Sadly, in ER they can't tell a panic attack from PTSD. Which are totally different.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 25, 2021 21:06:10 GMT -5
Yes, always anxious. (I'm having awful flashbacks of the captain almost tossing us off the plane to Alaska). I had a minor win tonight. When he was at swimming I went to Target and got him some sleep aid gummies. I didn't realize until I got home that I got the "no melatonin" ones and was a little skeptical that chamomile and lemon balm would help, but either it actually worked or he just believed the "relax and fall asleep quickly" line on the bottle because he crashed right away tonight. Not even his normal one trip to the bathroom to get a drink 10 minutes after I tuck him in.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on May 25, 2021 21:47:15 GMT -5
My anxious kids had a reaction to melatonin and were told to never take it again (depression). So, feel fine that you didn't get the melatonin ones. Each kid is different so don't expect your to get the same (lack) of mileage we got. If he slept well, go with it! Those two herbs really help my kids.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on May 26, 2021 7:09:43 GMT -5
My DS worked with a therapist for anxiety when he was quite young (7-8) and then a different therapist when he entered the tween/teenage. It really helped. His pediatrician also recognized that this was an issue for him, so that helped.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 26, 2021 10:53:20 GMT -5
The county called me back this morning to get insurance info and more details. They are going to match him with a therapist there and call back later about appts once they find out if my insurance will cover it. It WILL, but I'll be paying 100% out of pocket anyhow due to it being a HDHP, so not sure insurance info really matters.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 26, 2021 11:02:19 GMT -5
The county called me back this morning to get insurance info and more details. They are going to match him with a therapist there and call back later about appts once they find out if my insurance will cover it. It WILL, but I'll be paying 100% out of pocket anyhow due to it being a HDHP, so not sure insurance info really matters. I'd say it is just in case you get close to your deductible, that amount will help.
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