geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 13, 2020 11:12:21 GMT -5
I am right now here weighing what to do about this up coming school year. I think DH and I may have to have a serious conversation about him taking the girls and staying with his parents for an unknown amount of time. They have the room in their house, and both are retired teachers. The girls could do their own line learning there just as much as here. But with the talk from the district I work in and the meetings I am sitting on, if it just resigned that Covid will go thru the schools, will it be enough to move us to all virtual before I catch it or lose a student, I don't know, but with them there I won't have to worry about bringing it home. Even the thought of having this conversation is breaking my heart.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jul 13, 2020 11:34:59 GMT -5
Sorry genes. I wish there were better answers all around.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 13, 2020 11:59:00 GMT -5
I know many others have had to make these choice before us, and others will after us. I am lucky that we have options.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2020 12:08:08 GMT -5
Geens - right there with you. My girls attend a private religious school that has already said they will attend in person if at all possible. Normally I love our school. Right now though, it's biting us in the butt that they aren't large enough to offer a virtual option to some students.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2020 12:15:15 GMT -5
Struggling with my tween this week - DD11 will be 12 at the end of the month. Out of nowhere she requests to be sent to boarding school. Her reasons are she'd like to specialize in something, she's tired of her small class of 18 always being the same, and she wants to reinvent herself. This is the kid who is already anxious about going to hs in 2 yrs because it's too big, too many new people, and too many choices. Kinda contradictory and a whole lot of the grass is greener.
Finally got her to dive deeper into the reinvent herself after several rounds of her screaming that I wasn't listening, running off, and door slamming. None of which I tolerate. Anyway, this kid gets her perfectionist over-achieving tendencies straight from me. We are so alike that way it's downright scary. She puts so much pressure on herself and thinks all of her classmates and friends expect her to measure up all the time. I am so, so concious of trying not to ever put my agenda on her and DH knows to keep me in check if I slip. I don't remember feeling overwhelmed like she does until hs, so it doesn't bode well as the stakes do get higher then. She's already fretting about student council elections in Oct for goodness sakes. She tries every year but although she's friendly and everyone genuinely likes her, she's not popular enough. Tried to pull DH into conversation and have he say what he would be thinking about schoolwise during the summer - pretty much nothing LOL.
She's in therapy at school and her therapist recognizes this problem and they are working on it. No therapy this summer though. I encouraged her to reinvent herself all she wants. I do remember that stage before 7th or 8th grade and even purposely changed up some friendships at the same time. Didn't cut anyone out, just made a point to broaden my group.
Heaven help - this parenting gig is tough.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 13, 2020 12:26:54 GMT -5
The parenting gig IS tough. It's good you understand your DD, azucena. That helps.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jul 13, 2020 13:26:21 GMT -5
Is homeschooling an option?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2020 13:28:37 GMT -5
Hugs geena. I get why our schools are going in person, but I wish there were better answers, or any answers.
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mathsplosion
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Post by mathsplosion on Jul 13, 2020 13:28:45 GMT -5
Struggling with my tween this week - DD11 will be 12 at the end of the month. Out of nowhere she requests to be sent to boarding school. Her reasons are she'd like to specialize in something, she's tired of her small class of 18 always being the same, and she wants to reinvent herself. This is the kid who is already anxious about going to hs in 2 yrs because it's too big, too many new people, and too many choices. Kinda contradictory and a whole lot of the grass is greener. Finally got her to dive deeper into the reinvent herself after several rounds of her screaming that I wasn't listening, running off, and door slamming. None of which I tolerate. Anyway, this kid gets her perfectionist over-achieving tendencies straight from me. We are so alike that way it's downright scary. She puts so much pressure on herself and thinks all of her classmates and friends expect her to measure up all the time. I am so, so concious of trying not to ever put my agenda on her and DH knows to keep me in check if I slip. I don't remember feeling overwhelmed like she does until hs, so it doesn't bode well as the stakes do get higher then. She's already fretting about student council elections in Oct for goodness sakes. She tries every year but although she's friendly and everyone genuinely likes her, she's not popular enough. Tried to pull DH into conversation and have he say what he would be thinking about schoolwise during the summer - pretty much nothing LOL. She's in therapy at school and her therapist recognizes this problem and they are working on it. No therapy this summer though. I encouraged her to reinvent herself all she wants. I do remember that stage before 7th or 8th grade and even purposely changed up some friendships at the same time. Didn't cut anyone out, just made a point to broaden my group. Heaven help - this parenting gig is tough. We went through this with my youngest, starting in 7th grade. It finally came down to he wants to get a doctorate degree, and he thought if he didn't go to this particular boarding school he wouldn't get into the right colleges to help him on his way. That one was tough. He graduated in May. He is still super hard on himself academically, but he's broadening his interests, which is good. Now to get the college thing figured out for the fall!
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anciana
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Post by anciana on Jul 13, 2020 14:01:12 GMT -5
I know many others have had to make these choice before us, and others will after us. I am lucky that we have options. I feel like we have an option to do school remotely since our kids are a bit older (middle and high school) and theoretically could do it. But,... this spring DS said he had to teach himself the math since his teacher seemed even more scatterbrained then in class. DD also had hard time with math not understanding some of the lessons as she seemed to miss interactions in class, with her teacher and other students. And that was just for those few months this spring. Not sure how it would work for the whole school year. Not to mention social isolation, that was hard this spring and going into the new school year might be even harder knowing that it would last even longer. What to do? What to do?
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2020 14:18:52 GMT -5
Is homeschooling an option? It's not entirely off the table but mostly due to COVID-19 and not this outburst. I'll keep working with her and talk to her therapist some more. I don't want her to run away from her problems because I can see them snowballing to be even more unhealthy. She loves school. It's uncanny how well I understand her, but she can't see that at all. To her, I'm an old, dumb fart.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2020 16:27:25 GMT -5
I'm stressing about Fall as well. I like our school but they did not transition to remote well at all. I'm bouncing around the idea of either sending him to the private school that did a better job or enrolling him in the public online school for next year. At least with that I know they have been delivering coursework this way for many years and have it down. I just struggle with him being at home alone all day with no social interaction. The stress part is I have to hurry up and decide here pretty quick!
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oped
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Post by oped on Jul 13, 2020 16:41:20 GMT -5
Is homeschooling an option? It's not entirely off the table but mostly due to COVID-19 and not this outburst. I'll keep working with her and talk to her therapist some more. I don't want her to run away from her problems because I can see them snowballing to be even more unhealthy. She loves school. It's uncanny how well I understand her, but she can't see that at all. To her, I'm an old, dumb fart. So, your above post isn't exactly consistent with a kiddo who loves school. At least not all parts of it. So maybe focus on which parts she does like and which she doesn't and why? to get to the bottom of some things. It isn't 'running away from problems' the way you think. School is a weird kind of false social and hierarchical structure. People think it prepares everyone 'for the future' but realistically, it isn't much like real life in a lot of ways... and its mandatory. Adults have a lot more options and people growing up to be adults need to understand the ways in which they function best in order to make the best choices for how to structure their adult lives. My son is a very introverted, anxious kid. Homeschooling didn't allow him to avoid problems, but it did allow him to focus his energy and efforts in more controlled, meaningful to him, ways. He didn't blow all of his interaction hours on crowded spaces that focused primarily on tasks that weren't meaningful to him. So he could better address his anxiety, introversion, etc. and learn and mitigate, because it was part of his balanced life instead of him being constantly in crisis mode because of over stimulation, lack of control, etc. I'm not saying schools are bad places, or that everyone should homeschool, or that you are wrong not to... but I'm trying to explain how a change of perspective might better inform those discussions/ choices.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 13, 2020 16:46:31 GMT -5
I'm still waiting to hear what our school system is doing. They had a survey that was due by 7/8 on what the parents preferred. I filled it out, without DH, because I wanted to turn it in. When I mentioned it to him, he was rather aggressive in having not seen it and what he hoped I'd said. Sadly, he's in the "open everything, it won 't be that bad" group. I'm in the 'there's no way I can work from home AND supervise the kids education.' We can manage 3 days a week, max. My City Common Council passed, unanimously, a mask wearing requirement, which DH has already started bitching about.
In other fun news; in attempting to get a stupid inhaler prescription, I got to get covid testing. It's a waste of resources because while yes, I tick a lot of symptom boxes, it's not like they all started at the same time. Or even without a week of each other. I know I was feeling shortness of breath when we got fishing licenses and that was 6/13. The puking was 7/10 and the diarrhea was 7/10-7/12. The cough/tickle started a couple of weeks ago. The muscle ache in my jaws is most likely me clenching my teeth when I sleep due to stress. I was negative on the quick test. I'm hoping to hear results late afternoon on 7/14. On the up side, I''m getting a day off tomorrow and Mom's still taking the kids for the day. I tried to use my health insurance covid testing. I had 4 phone calls;over 30 minutes on hold and getting 2 batches of misinformation before saying fuck it. Because I work for the City, I can be tested thru their site but they wouldn't be able to give me a script for the inhaler. Hence me trying to go thru insurance. I'll call the doctor tomorrow or Wed. and ask about one.
It's been a helluva day.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2020 18:05:56 GMT -5
Oped - I appreciate your viewpoint and will keep thinking on it. This really seems more like tween angst and what she sees as an easy solution. I usually like to let her process a couple of days after a blow up and then check in with her again.
She handles school and her friendships just fine. She does spend too much energy on what other people think and trying to keep everyone happy.
I think part of it is she's as tired of butting heads as I am. And she thinks our rules are too strict compared to her friends. Meanwhile we give a little leeway and she does something directly in violation and loses our trust.
She is very mature in some ways and yet still has a ton of growing up to do. Kind of an old soul thinker.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2020 21:17:12 GMT -5
We are homeschooling. I couldn't say that 100% until tonight but the kids are onboard and even excited about it. I'm still a little scared but oped has been so helpful.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jul 14, 2020 6:58:33 GMT -5
I know many others have had to make these choice before us, and others will after us. I am lucky that we have options. I feel like we have an option to do school remotely since our kids are a bit older (middle and high school) and theoretically could do it. But,... this spring DS said he had to teach himself the math since his teacher seemed even more scatterbrained then in class. DD also had hard time with math not understanding some of the lessons as she seemed to miss interactions in class, with her teacher and other students. And that was just for those few months this spring. Not sure how it would work for the whole school year. Not to mention social isolation, that was hard this spring and going into the new school year might be even harder knowing that it would last even longer. What to do? What to do? What levels in math? I can send some resource ideas that might help.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jul 14, 2020 7:13:07 GMT -5
Our district had a survey for parents on their feelings about the various covid19 measures. We don't have any answers from them yet. There was an email from the before/after school daycare that said sign-ups would be starting soon. How can that happen when we don't know what school will consist of?
Right now, I'm hoping for 2 days/week in-person. With my work schedule, we can completely avoid the daycare, though in normal times I'd have them go the minimum hours, so that we could continue having the flexibility and backup for daycare, since we have no family willing/available to help us out. If numbers get worse, I might prefer 100% virtual, but I don't feel like they'll learn much that way. My kids really miss the social aspect of school, such that I signed them up for sports this summer. The TTQ and golf seem fine with social distancing, but the parents at baseball last night pissed me off. It's not freaking social hour, people! I spotted the likely super-spreader in our midst. I'm going to have to find a better place to watch from where the social idiots stay farther away. I mean, if I get covid19, it'll be my own damn fault for letting the kids do this stuff, but I'm trying to be smart about it.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 14, 2020 8:39:50 GMT -5
Our before/after school care people did their signup in May. I made sure we were signed up because options are a good thing.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jul 14, 2020 8:56:25 GMT -5
Our before/after school care people did their signup in May. I made sure we were signed up because options are a good thing. Ours usually starts right after spring break, so April. If I weren't working part-time, I'd for sure sign up, but I can flex my hours a lot when I only work 24/week.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 14, 2020 9:07:39 GMT -5
We signed up for summer care even with them not being sure. I think they wanted to get an idea of exactly how many parents were going to need it because they have to stick to 10 kids to a room and that means one teacher per room. We'll be signing up for before/after as well but we are thinking DH will walk them/meet them or even let them walk the three blocks home themselves at least for fall since DH will be home. But I'm still signing up because DH's employer may change their mind at any time.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 14, 2020 11:56:42 GMT -5
We signed up for summer care even with them not being sure. I think they wanted to get an idea of exactly how many parents were going to need it because they have to stick to 10 kids to a room and that means one teacher per room. We'll be signing up for before/after as well but we are thinking DH will walk them/meet them or even let them walk the three blocks home themselves at least for fall since DH will be home. But I'm still signing up because DH's employer may change their mind at any time.That, I think, is the big kicker. What are employers going to be willing to do for parents in Fall. And will they keep it up to the end of the school, if necessary? I find myself having doubts that I can trust DH's employer to continue to permit him to be the exception and allow him to WFH every Friday. I trust my employer to give me notice that they need me in the office more and more importantly, to work with me regarding my hours. But I have 12 years of history that proves that. Our School Board votes on Thursday but it's looking very much like we'll be starting the school year with the kids at home fulltime. There were a variety of start date options and it looks like 9/8/20 was the most popular choice by families and teachers. But we'll see what Thursday's vote brings.
The PDF on options was released to day too. I read parts of it but it's 256 pages and I got tired at page 98... I'll try again later.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 14, 2020 12:37:45 GMT -5
Got annoyed with Gwen yesterday. She has a sore on her leg that hasn't been healing so I took her to the walk in to get it looked at just in case. She confessed to the doctor she's been picking it for the past month. Yay for white coat syndrome I guess? That explains why it looks the way it does. I told her she's going to end up with a pretty decent scar. I also told her if I catch her picking at it more I am taking $1 from her birthday money every time I catch her to cover the walk in clinic bill. I also warned her we don't know if she inherited psorasis. DH didn't start displaying symptoms till he was older. Picking is what triggered it and does she want to chance having daddy's skin issues? (I'm vastly oversimplifying the issue to make a point). I figure appeal to her vanity and love of money right now to get her to break the habit before it becomes a major problem.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 14, 2020 13:02:30 GMT -5
I don't think that would stop me, and I'm vain, love money, and usually know better. I'm just also painfully compulsive about that kind of stuff. I am good at hiding things from people though which I'm guessing you dont want.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 14, 2020 13:22:49 GMT -5
I'm that way with chewing on my fingers and nails. Keeping a worrystone handy helps but then I get complaisant and stop using it and I'm right back at it.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jul 14, 2020 13:31:57 GMT -5
Carter had something similar on both of his legs in first grade. You can see in his first day of school pics from that year the big bandages we had to place on them with some sort of prescription medicated cream. The doctor thought it was eczema (which he’d never had or shown signs of next), but once the dry itchy skin there started, he kept scratching and picking at them. They finally cleared up with medication (and cooler weather as it was harder to scratch with pants on), but nothing I tried to bribe or motivate him with worked.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jul 14, 2020 13:32:44 GMT -5
Our before/after school care people did their signup in May. I made sure we were signed up because options are a good thing. Ditto for us. I took a gamble and assumed we’d still need before/after care.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 14, 2020 13:38:13 GMT -5
I've told both her and her father I am going to duct tape mittens to their hands like they have the chicken pox if they don't stop picking. I am hoping stretching the truth a bit about psorasis will keep her from doing it so long as she doesn't actually Google it.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jul 14, 2020 13:43:50 GMT -5
I've told both her and her father I am going to duct tape mittens to their hands like they have the chicken pox if they don't stop picking. I am hoping stretching the truth a bit about psorasis will keep her from doing it so long as she doesn't actually Google it. Can't you just cover it up with a bandaid? Or will she pick through that as well?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 14, 2020 13:49:16 GMT -5
I've told both her and her father I am going to duct tape mittens to their hands like they have the chicken pox if they don't stop picking. I am hoping stretching the truth a bit about psorasis will keep her from doing it so long as she doesn't actually Google it. Can't you just cover it up with a bandaid? Or will she pick through that as well? She takes the band aid off. I got a giant box of them but can't hover over her making her put a new one on all the time. She's going to have to motivate herself at some point to not pick. It'll heal it's just not healing the way you would expect if you didn't know she was picking the scab for three weeks. Knowing she picked it makes a heck of a lot more sense.
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