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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 17:16:30 GMT -5
He's been accepted everywhere he applied and I don't think anything that happens from this point out would affect merit, but I guess I'm not 100% certain. I thought they were based on ACT and GPA at the time he was accepted, but maybe it adjusts? I'll have to pull out the scholarship letters that we've already received.
He did really well Fall semester, but mostly because his 1st quarter and Final exams were strong enough to save him. He was really starting to fall apart the last couple weeks. Now less than two weeks into Spring and he's got several missing assignments already. Not a good start at all. I’d let it go probably. I did senior year. And because frankly he won’t be able to from now on without putting his scholarships at risk... I would make that point however. He really wants to go to Iowa now. So far (all the number aren't in), the cost is going to be about the same as going to the U of M, but only because Iowa gave him some big scholarships. If he lost them he'd have to transfer and the U would never take him at that point.
Not sure if I should use that as incentive to get his work done or if maybe I insist he goes to MN to start with! LOL
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 15, 2020 17:32:54 GMT -5
Iowa State? I am not a parent, but I'd use it to get him to do his homework. DN2 almost gave up all of his Iowa State scholarships (some of which were over 4 years) over a girl. He almost quit before he got started. He drove home during orientation week and said he couldn't leave the girlfriend and would work at Dairy Queen the rest of his life. His parents had to bribe him to get him to go back. She showed up the next fall and cheated on him, so that ended that relationship.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jan 15, 2020 17:36:05 GMT -5
He has a full load of 8 classes (although 2 of them are band and one is phy ed).
I want to go home and just put the hammer down by putting a padlock on the plug to his computer...which is the issue, but I don't think that would go over well.
He also needs to learn to balance himself. Maybe just impose your own consequences if his grades drop... then leave him to figure out how... consider it his trial learning opportunity before scholarships are the consequence.
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Annie7
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Post by Annie7 on Jan 15, 2020 17:36:13 GMT -5
He has a full load of 8 classes (although 2 of them are band and one is phy ed).
I want to go home and just put the hammer down by putting a padlock on the plug to his computer...which is the issue, but I don't think that would go over well.
I would ignore the senioritis. My boys had it to an extent too. They also felt there was no point in any of the classes after the winter break. As long as he maintains his GPA and class rank (if they specify that - my kids' school didn't), letting him take it easy should be ok. If him missing work causes the teacher to lower his grade enough to impact the overall GPA, then it might be an issue. If it just moves from a 3.5 to a 3.45 it might not be too much of an issue. I'm sure the colleges are very well aware of senioritis and will extend some slack.
I too hated it but felt that in a few short months they will be in college where I won't have any insight into the daily goings on. so let them stretch their wings in a relatively safer environment of high-school.
These few months are not going to be easy for you. You will have ambivalent feelings about this man-child - needing to let go but wanting to hold him close for just a bit longer. You will get thru it. Try to relax about rules that don't cause too much harm in breaking. Tho' it's always harder with the older one because you need to continue to set an example for the younger ones. Goodluck and remember to enjoy this time too.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 15, 2020 17:45:20 GMT -5
Bear with me this is convoluted and I obviously don't know all the details.
Shortly before I started HS the district had the great idea that in order to graduate you not only had to have the credits but also these soft skill sets that would be awarded based on projects assigned to you by your teachers.
You had to X number of points total AND each category had to have X number of points.
It was piss poor executed and many people ended have over the TOTAL amount of points but two of the categories were impossible to get. Driver's Ed offered one but you could only take it as a junior or senior AND it was limited spots. I forget the other class.
So a lot of people found themselves unable to graduate and they would not allow you to make them up in summer school. You had to go another year.
A lot of people said fuck it. They took.the GED instead.
The school buckled down on this for awhile despite us having the highest drop out rate on record.
By the time my brother went they realized the error of their ways and went back to class credits to graduate.
Part of that was they were threatened with losing funding if they didn't get their shit together. Drop out rates stayed really high till the scrapped that side requirement. Once it was gone graduation rates shot back up.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 18:25:32 GMT -5
Yeah, I have to remember that I can't write just Iowa. eta: And thank God we haven't had to deal with girlfriends yet!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 18:32:12 GMT -5
I honestly don't care a whole lot about grades at this point. It's more me getting anxious and second guessing if he's really ready for college.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 18:35:44 GMT -5
NomoreDramaQ1015 - I can't believe there wasn't an all out revolt by the parents. If over half the class can't meet the requirements then obviously something is wrong with the system.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 15, 2020 18:54:32 GMT -5
Yeah, I have to remember that I can't write just Iowa. eta: And thank God we haven't had to deal with girlfriends yet! On the girlfriend. He was so in love. He was spending his entire paycheck from Dairy Queen on expensive to a high school kid jewelry for her. She was a year behind him in school. She changed colleges so they could be together the next year. Then she cheated on him. To her credit, she told him. There were tears and arguing. DNephew1 and Dnephew2 were rooming together that year. He took her back. She did it again and she told him again. She is now married with a couple of kids, but it took 3 broken engagements before she got married. I don't think they were meant to be. We ran in to her at his graduation and she asked how he was and told me, she should not have cheated. Way too late for that apology and to the wrong person.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jan 15, 2020 19:02:55 GMT -5
I rebelled my 2nd semester year. I had already been accepted into college. I told my parents. I told my mom about how terrible my Government teacher was, and I was not doing homework or any of his other b.s. stuff, but I would pass the class, which was the only one I had to pass since I had a ton of extra credits. I almost messed up because I got a bad grade on a test when I only filled out half the answers (but still got a C). Ended with a D in class and graduated and went on to very successful college career.
Just pay attention to what the rules are for any scholarships.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 15, 2020 19:34:06 GMT -5
NomoreDramaQ1015 - I can't believe there wasn't an all out revolt by the parents. If over half the class can't meet the requirements then obviously something is wrong with the system. I remember backlash but I don't remember or know how they justified it or were allowed to continue for as long as they did. I'm sure there were other reasons our drop out rate was so high but I know that was one reason.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 20:07:11 GMT -5
I’d let it go probably. I did senior year. And because frankly he won’t be able to from now on without putting his scholarships at risk... I would make that point however. He really wants to go to Iowa now. So far (all the number aren't in), the cost is going to be about the same as going to the U of M, but only because Iowa gave him some big scholarships. If he lost them he'd have to transfer and the U would never take him at that point.
Not sure if I should use that as incentive to get his work done or if maybe I insist he goes to MN to start with! LOL
And of course, a few hours after writing this I come home to find he got a rejection letter in the mail for the engineering scholarship. They made it sound like getting invited to apply was the first round and he was guaranteed $3250/year but it could be more based on his application. Guess we misunderstood that. That might change things. 13K is a lot. They said the application would remain open if other funds opened up in the next few months, but I'm not real hopeful. He still has an 8K/year one and I read the fine print. The only way he would lose it (prior to attending) is for his GPA to drop below a 3.3 and it's 3.74 right now.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jan 15, 2020 20:56:27 GMT -5
Well I don't want to like not getting the engineering scholarship. Is that something he could reapply for at a later date? Or are awards pretty much set? I know son's portfolio scholarship was awarded at acceptance and while its guaranteed 4 years I'm not sure it could be modified...
13K a year? And that is tuition, or tuition room and board? There are so many nice extras...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 21:21:40 GMT -5
13K a year? And that is tuition, or tuition room and board? There are so many nice extras... 13K is 4 years of a $3250 scholarship that we thought for the last two months we were getting. Total cost of attendance at Iowa State for out of state is 36K/year. They SAY he's getting 12K in grants (still waiting on the official letter and now I'm a bit nervous on that) and we thought he was getting 11K in scholarships, but now only 8K. So...16K/year if we get the grants. About $2400/year of that is "personal expenses", so DS will cover that from work. He's also getting a scholarship from the high school but we don't know how much that will be yet. $1000-$2500 year sounds like the range. It's based on GPA, ACT score and participation in extracurriculars at the school.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jan 15, 2020 21:47:29 GMT -5
That is their grants, like assistance from the school, or federal and state grants?
... so an EXTRA 13K...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2020 21:59:39 GMT -5
Yes, an extra 13K over what we thought it would be.
The grants are Pell, SEOG and an ISU grant. I don't know the breakdown except the Pell at $6100. This is just based on what the Net Price Calculator spits out. We are still waiting for the official FA letter.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 16, 2020 8:26:58 GMT -5
Im realizing Thursday's need an overhaul in my plan. I think I'm going to cancel my cello lessons. The kids get out of school at different times and have classes in the evenings at different times. Combined with the mid day cello lesson my Thursday afternoon is a cluster that I just can't justify.
And it stinks because there isn't another day that I can really add it in or another instructor I've found that will do half hour classes but oh well.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jan 16, 2020 9:27:37 GMT -5
For Girl Scouts World Thinking Day my 7-year-old DD's troop is doing Scotland. I said I'd buy tartan hair bows/clips for all 11 girls but I'm having trouble finding anything cheap. I looked at Amazon and Etsy but I really don't want to pay $4 per bow. Any ideas of where else I could look? I honestly thought it would be a super easy find of $10 for a dozen clips.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 16, 2020 9:30:06 GMT -5
I'm sorry Rae. It's so hard to make time for ourselves.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 16, 2020 10:30:25 GMT -5
For Girl Scouts World Thinking Day my 7-year-old DD's troop is doing Scotland. I said I'd buy tartan hair bows/clips for all 11 girls but I'm having trouble finding anything cheap. I looked at Amazon and Etsy but I really don't want to pay $4 per bow. Any ideas of where else I could look? I honestly thought it would be a super easy find of $10 for a dozen clips. Depending on the cost of fabric/ribbon is diy an option? I'm not sure if this is a close enough look? www.icreativeideas.com/how-to-diy-pretty-plaid-bow-hair-clip/I'd definitely try for ribbon to avoid the time involved in ironing and sewing if I went that path. I'm not finding anything premade under the $4 even on wish.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 16, 2020 10:33:55 GMT -5
I'm sorry Rae. It's so hard to make time for ourselves.
It is, although I admittedly take a lot of time for myself so I shouldn't complain. I do 2-4 hours of martial arts a week and if I ever get up the nerve to tackle school again I'll have that time too. I'll probably look at the online cello lessons and see if I've learned enough to in person to wing it with those. I think this is my year of remembering I can do anything and everthing, just not everything all at once.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jan 16, 2020 10:58:36 GMT -5
For Girl Scouts World Thinking Day my 7-year-old DD's troop is doing Scotland. I said I'd buy tartan hair bows/clips for all 11 girls but I'm having trouble finding anything cheap. I looked at Amazon and Etsy but I really don't want to pay $4 per bow. Any ideas of where else I could look? I honestly thought it would be a super easy find of $10 for a dozen clips. Depending on the cost of fabric/ribbon is diy an option? I'm not sure if this is a close enough look? www.icreativeideas.com/how-to-diy-pretty-plaid-bow-hair-clip/I'd definitely try for ribbon to avoid the time involved in ironing and sewing if I went that path. I'm not finding anything premade under the $4 even on wish. That's a cute idea!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jan 16, 2020 17:29:35 GMT -5
They said the application would remain open if other funds opened up in the next few months, but I'm not real hopeful. minnesotapaintlady I'm guessing your DS might be offered that scholarship later if a few students who got it decide to go elsewhere. Might it be worth your son writing to say he's very interested in attending (explaining why), but that his decision may depend on that scholarship?
He might be next on the list, if there is even one student who goes elsewhere (and I'm sure some students will.) The fact that they mention the possibility of funds opening up makes me think it's feasible. I'd definitely give it a try!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jan 16, 2020 17:41:12 GMT -5
Story time: In the UK, there's a central application system called UCAS. You apply to up to six places. Either they refuse you outright, or they give you a "conditional offer", ie the mark you need to get on your Baccalaureate (or UK equivalent) for them to take you. DS3's first choice gave him a conditional offer of 14.5 (out of 20, the European marking system). DS1 got a 14.48 on his Baccalaureate. He was beyond distraught. I made him write an email to the Head of Department explaining and asking if they would accept him anyway, since his mark was SO CLOSE to 14.5. At 6pm he got a notification from UCAS that he had been accepted!
Without that email, he probably would have been automatically "bumped" from that university, since 14.48 is less than 14.5.
So I really think it's worth a try!
Best of luck!
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 16, 2020 17:52:00 GMT -5
They said the application would remain open if other funds opened up in the next few months, but I'm not real hopeful. minnesotapaintlady I'm guessing your DS might be offered that scholarship later if a few students who got it decide to go elsewhere. Might it be worth your son writing to say he's very interested in attending (explaining why), but that his decision may depend on that scholarship?
He might be next on the list, if there is even one student who goes elsewhere (and I'm sure some students will.) The fact that they mention the possibility of funds opening up makes me think it's feasible. I'd definitely give it a try!
When my nephew was applying for his PhD, he did not listen to his advisors and only applied to what he thought were the best schools for political science. He did not get accepted by any of those schools. His advisor suggested that he apply to Iowa just to see what would happen. He was on the wait list, but he didn't know where on the wait list. Early the summer before he was to start the program, he was officially accepted. Somebody decided not to go there and he got the spot. He knew he was the last one admitted so he decided to show them how wrong they were by graduating with the highest grade point. He also met his wife there, so everything worked out.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2020 18:11:47 GMT -5
They said the application would remain open if other funds opened up in the next few months, but I'm not real hopeful. minnesotapaintlady I'm guessing your DS might be offered that scholarship later if a few students who got it decide to go elsewhere. Might it be worth your son writing to say he's very interested in attending (explaining why), but that his decision may depend on that scholarship?
He might be next on the list, if there is even one student who goes elsewhere (and I'm sure some students will.) The fact that they mention the possibility of funds opening up makes me think it's feasible. I'd definitely give it a try!
I'm kind of wondering if we didn't screw up by accepting the offer of admission way back in September. That maybe if he appeared on the fence they would have put out a carrot to get him to put down his deposit.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jan 16, 2020 18:17:52 GMT -5
You could have accepted at least one or two other offers too, no? If it's not ED, then you're not committed. The school has no clue about the offers and scholarships DS has received since Sept. So don't worry about that! DS wouldn't be telling them he has decided not to go, he'd be telling them he's hesitating. Which is the truth! I still think you have absolutely nothing to lose. Worst-case scenario, a few months from now, you're still without that 3200/year scholarship. ETA: If DS hasn't seen the fine print for himself, I'd tell him he needs to maintain a 3.5 GPA to keep the offer, rather than tell him it's 3.3. If it's not too late, I'd leave a small margin for error ...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2020 18:26:08 GMT -5
I don't think you're supposed to accept at more than one place at a time even if it's not ED. Either way, putting several hundred down on more than one wasnt really affordable. This school just happens to have a refundable deposit so we figured why not. Get in line for housing early. Most dont refund those deposits.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jan 16, 2020 18:28:11 GMT -5
Ah OK, makes sense. At the same time, as you say, the deposit IS refundable. I would do it, it's just a letter. But it's up to you and your DS of course.
For 13K, I'd take a chance LOL.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jan 16, 2020 19:25:22 GMT -5
Even if the deposit is not refundable, if you get a better deal somewhere else so that you save more than you lost you are still better off.
Sorry that it is such a stressful decision. The other thing is that you need to make the best decision for your kid, and that may not always be about the best deal (take away my non-existent YM card). If you can get in a better school, even if it is a little more money, the outcome might be better.
My YDS ended up transferring to top level school after 3 years. Was a little more money, and took him longer to finish, but the ultimate result was good in terms of contacts and job offers.
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