The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[econstudent]

Jan 12, 2011 13:13:12 GMT -5 nasagreen said:

mommax3 - thanks Bradley method is basically just the type of childbirth classes we are doing -- i'm at a midwife practice but DH wouldn't go with a birth center or home birth. The classes are a little bit hard to find, and long - 12 classes each 1.5-2 hours long. I like to be prepared!

We started a Bradley class, but I found the only teacher in our area to be too annoying to sit through 12 classes for 2 hours. When I told her we weren't coming back, she basically told me that I wouldn't be able to have a natural birth without the classes, and it was so important for my baby that I come to the classes. Well I managed a natural birth anyway...I hope your experience with the classes is way better than mine!!

Jan 12, 2011 14:14:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

EVERYONE kept telling me I would go late because it was my first pregnancy blah blah. She made her appearance a week early.

I expected to go late too based on what everyone had told me, but she came 2 days before my due date.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

The pushing part wasn't as bad as leading up to full dialation for me personally. The pushing felt like really bad menstural cramps. The contractions leading up to full dialation felt like I was being ripped in half from the inside.

Don't know where the oxytocin was from midnight to five am before we went to the hospital! Sure would have been nice!

I felt like a million bucks after giving birth. Getting there was an absolute bitch.

[yogiii]

That is how it was for me too. The contractions right before pushing were the worst pain. Pushing was a relief and after the birth I felt great. I remember thinking, eh I could do this again tomorrow. Thank god that wasn't a real option .... yikes

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I didn't sleep for 24 hours because I was so "high" after giving birth. I felt better than I had in MONTHS.

I too had a thought of "this wasn't so bad!". Stupid biology trying to trick me into having another kid!

[zbear]

gusita- congrats on baby brett! He's adorable! Thanks for sharing your birth story, so glad to hear that y'all are doing so well.

kristi and ladyki- baby dust to you guys.

sam- I know exactly what you mean about gaining weight and trying to be healthy. I also lost about 15lbs before getting pregnant and it's such a bummer to see it all back. Just think how much better off you are than if you didn't lose the 30lbs, you'd be adding another 20-30 to that (or whatever amount we gain).

momma3x- wow there's 4 of us due at the end of april/beg of may! My DD is the first week of May but I have a feeling I might be early if my most recent u/s is right.

[econstudent]

I thought that waiting to push until the doctor got there was a million times worse than actually pushing. Like yogii, I thought that pushing was kind of a relief.

After giving birth, I thought that it wasn't too bad and I could do it again--just not for a while! It's all this post-partum stuff that makes me doubt if I want another child. Maybe once I'm past this I'll feel differently, but I cannot imagine doing this again, especially with an older child to take care of.

[Deleted]

Momof4- what a blessing. I can only imagine the noise level at your house. I have two boys 21 and 10.....spaced 11 years apart ...not by choice....infertility issues. Are the two girls in pre-school yet?

[mommax4]

drama-I hear you on the "that wasn't so bad" thing. I was induced with #1 (1 week past my due date) and I don't want to have to go through that again. However, DDs 2 & 3 were a breeze (according to my memory at this point ) I was in labor for less than 8 hours each, only pushed for about 5 minutes or so each time and out they came.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'll admit I am selfish, I like having my body back for the most part and I am eagerly looking forward to the day when I stop breastfeeding so I can have the rest of my body back. I am not eager to try again in two years like everyone tells me I "have" to (you can't win with these people!). I'll have just gotten my body back fully because my goal is to BF for a year. I really don't want to get pregnant again so soon afterwards.

DH was grossed out but I told him giving birth was like finally being able to go after days of being constipated. That was the only way I could figure to describe the relief I was feeling.

[mommax4]

drama-don't let anyone else tell you how soon/how many kids to have. Everyone has an opinion, and for some reason, they usually don't want to know about yours. Even though it's your family. Anytime I mention that we think we want 5, you get crazy looks/comments . We just ignore them.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I joked that maybe people will stop asking if we have enough to land our own TLC show.

[moneymaven]

I have actually really enjoyed our classes. We've done two of the three childbirth classes and a breastfeeding class. The instructors are normal and not pushy toward breastfeeding or not, epidural or not, etc. I will see how useful they are when baby actually comes.

my doctors definitely think DS will be early since I had the early contractions. They're planning to take me off the meds to stop the contractions at my 36 week appointment. We'll have an ultrasound to check his size, then move forward to stop the meds.

a friend of mine was due 2/11/11, but delivered her daughter yesterday. They think she may have had her due date slightly off, but baby was still early. Fortunately, mom and baby are both healthy. Poor thing just had her baby shower on Saturday, and had no time to things put together and away, and neither she or her husband have family nearby.

about work, you're both right. I should remind myself of that, but instead, all I can think of is how mad I am at my assistant for doing this when she did.

[yogiii]

econ - It gets better. Also, bfing is really time consuming and a big energy drain. Sometimes it used to feel like DS was actually just sucking energy right out of me. I felt the way you do now and to a point I still do. DS will be 8 months soon and I think that a 3 year seperation is doable (for me). Like drama, I am excited to have my body back once bfing is done and I'd like a year to do as I please before trying for #2. From what I hear, they get a lot more fun after they turn 1 as well. DS and I are having quite a bit of fun now too though, he smiles and laughs with a big toothy grin (he's got 4 of them now!)

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Insurance I'd be pissed too. It's totally natural to be pissed because it totaly upsets your plans. However in the end it's not going to do you any good. Punch a few pillows pretending they are her face and then start thinking about how you can turn this to your advantage.

[Deleted]

Regina Mallory is sooo beautiful and peaceful.

Gusita Brett is adorable...love those cheeks

Congrats.

[starearedkid]

I am 23 weeks and due Mid May. (May 17th is my new due date) Originally I was May 9th, so now I am trying to figure out when I should put in for maternity at work. I would ideally like to leave a week or so before the baby is due, mostly because I am sure that towards the end of my pregnancy, my job will become more and more difficult. I am constantly standing or bending or kneeling all the time at work. But I have to have my doctor sign me out early, so I have to figure out when I would be able to go.

[ticklemeterra]

Hi Ladies, I’m a lurker form the old board. My name is Terra and I’m 23 and live in Idaho. DH and I have almost met all of my prerequisites for TTC. The last big requirement being a 3 week trip to England in March. (I just didn’t see it happening after kids) I went off the pill (currently using back up so I can drink in England) in Nov after we booked tickets so my hormones have me pretty baby crazy. This has been my baby fix for the last few weeks so thank you so much for the adorable pictures. Everybody on this board seems fantastic and super supportive.

[ladyki]

Jan 12, 2011 15:22:24 GMT -5 @bluedolphin said:

Everyone told me I'd be late too, this being my first, but I was also a week early like drama.

Same here. I was a week early. I was due on 8/7 and Kiani was born on 8/1.

[ladyki]

I think my labor and delivery was really good compared to other people. I think I had more contractions the days before that Kiani was born. When my water broke, I barely had any contractions. After the epidural, I barely felt any pain at all. I think the worst part was also the post-partum. All of the soreness and feeling that you have been ripped, to me was the worst part, oooh and the lack of sleepness and tiredness. But, yes I would do it again, in fact I want another baby soon.

[yogiii]

welcome terra - good luck TTC. It is good that you had a list of things you wanted to do pre-baby. We did as well, traveling included. I think some of our friends have put off having a baby now that they have seen how our lives have changed. No more going out for us really right now. We don't mind because we knew this would happen we like spending time at home with our little one. Of course the hanging out with friends thing will pick up more as he gets older but our priorities have shifted some and we knew that going in. It is good to go into this sort of thing knowing what to expect. I've found this board very helpful. I hope you do as well

[ladyki]

Jan 12, 2011 13:17:50 GMT -5 mommax4 said:

I'm still trying to decide if I want to take a "refresher" course. It's been 3 years since the last baby, so I'm out of practice (there were 17 months & 18months between the others). I think our birth center usually does a 1-night class for repeat mothers who want an update. We never did a long class. I had to drag DH kicking & screaming to the 1-day class at the hospital when we had DD1 there. He was a little more interested in the 1-night class at the birth center when we had DD2, but we haven't been to one since. Not sure how he'll feel about doing a refresher. Guess I'd better ask him huh?

mommax3- I have a question for you. Did you find it really hard to be pregnant while also already having a young baby to take care of and to carry around. We are going to start trying for #2 this month. It would be a miracle if I were to get pregnant right away,(due to infertility issues it took a long time with our first one). But maybe it can happen soon, well Kiani is only 5 months and I just want to know if you found it really hard to just care for your babies and being pregnant.

[bluedolphin]

The first three months were the hardest for me. Things have slowly gotten better - either that or I've just gotten used to it. Our lives have definitely changed and going out requires a lot of planning and flexibility, but I also knew it going in. I think it was a big shock for my DH, tho - he was convinced he never wanted to do this again.

I love the bonding of breastfeeding, but I too will be glad to be done and get my body back. Pumping really sucks, and I second the poster that said sometimes it feels like she is just sucking all the energy out of me. Looks like I'll be weaning earlier than the year I wanted to do because I have to travel for work, but I consider it an accomplishment to have made it this long. Especially considering that I never really produced enough and the only reason we continued bfeeding is because I was really stubborn. We had some nipple confusion at first that really frustrated me to the point of tears, but we finally got the hang of it around 3 months.

I also lost about 20 lbs before I got pregnant, and it was hard to watch all that weight (and more) come back on. I'm still working on losing the last 10 lbs to get to my pre-preg weight - I think my body is holding on to those pounds for dear life right now! It doesn't help that I am hungry all the time and am ready for bed around 8 pm!

We will probably TTC again this summer. That is pretty quick, but I'm not getting any younger and my window is closing (so I've been told), and I want to have time to try in case it doesn't happen as quickly the second time around. Not sure DH is on board with this plan yet, but I have a few more months to convince him.

[moneymaven]

Just when things feel their worst and totally gloomy, something amazing happens. My mom randomly stopped by my office today with some papers in hand. She handed over my car loan statement. It had a ZERO balance! My parents paid off my car loan as my graduation gift for finishing my Bachelors!!! It was just under $6K, and about $400/month in payments. This is AMAZING!!!!! I feel so blessed.

[alphayankee]

nasa and momma - you are both due around my birthday, so I'm selfishly hoping for the 27th. It's also my DS#2's b-day. He was originally due in July last year, but due to a number of issues, he decided to come on my birthday. Good luck to you both!

[bluedolphin]

Jan 12, 2011 17:12:12 GMT -5 starearedkid said:

I am 23 weeks and due Mid May. (May 17th is my new due date) Originally I was May 9th, so now I am trying to figure out when I should put in for maternity at work.

How did they arrive at the new guessdate? Was it U/S dating? If so, when did they do it (what week)? Do you have a good idea of when you conceived (were you tracking, or do you know the date of your last period)? Also, does your doctor have a "i will not let you go beyond this date" date?

U/S can pretty inaccurate for dating, so take it with a grain of salt. Do you need to give your bosses a plan, or is this plan for you? If you need to give something to your bosses, I would make a plan based on your new guessdate, and give that to them, with the caveat that it may change. Then review it with them when you are closer - around 36 weeks and then after each appt. Based on the type of work you do, you may have to have a modified workload or your doctor may also put you on restriction.

I guess overall what I am trying to say is make a tentative plan, but don't be too tied to it - there are just too many variables, and you have no idea what you will feel like at that point.

[taz157]

Ins - YEAH on your graduation gift! What a great gift!!

Terra - Good luck TTC! I stopped taking BC in June. We started TTC in November and that was our lucky month! I'm due 8/3. Enjoy your travels!

[bluedolphin]

insmoneymavin - WAHOO!! What an incredible gift - a major pick-me-up and one less thing to worry about. sound like you have very thoughtful parents. I'm also very impressed with the way you are handling your job situation - I don't know that I would be as accepting and accomodating as you are. I agree with everyone else - make sure you use it!

In the meantime, keep the positive attitude up - that will do wonders for your mental (and physical) health!

[starearedkid]

Jan 12, 2011 20:09:50 GMT -5 @bluedolphin said:

Jan 12, 2011 17:12:12 GMT -5 starearedkid said:

I am 23 weeks and due Mid May. (May 17th is my new due date) Originally I was May 9th, so now I am trying to figure out when I should put in for maternity at work.

How did they arrive at the new guessdate? Was it U/S dating? If so, when did they do it (what week)? Do you have a good idea of when you conceived (were you tracking, or do you know the date of your last period)? Also, does your doctor have a "i will not let you go beyond this date" date?

U/S can pretty inaccurate for dating, so take it with a grain of salt. Do you need to give your bosses a plan, or is this plan for you? If you need to give something to your bosses, I would make a plan based on your new guessdate, and give that to them, with the caveat that it may change. Then review it with them when you are closer - around 36 weeks and then after each appt. Based on the type of work you do, you may have to have a modified workload or your doctor may also put you on restriction.

I guess overall what I am trying to say is make a tentative plan, but don't be too tied to it - there are just too many variables, and you have no idea what you will feel like at that point.

May 9th was based on my cycle. *blushes* My husband was better at tracking than I was--so that is HIS date. The later was the ultrasound date.

I am a planner, but I do need to have my paperwork in about 60 days before, which means March. However, my next doctor appointment is early Feb; so I would want to have the doctor write a note then. I will put in another call to personnel sometime this week to see if the date that I hand in is flexible or not. I think that will also impact my decision.

[Sam_2.0]

14 more hours until we go in for our first sonogram. Not that I am excited or anything....

[taz157]

Sam - We can't wait to hear how it goes!

My next appt is the 17th and I hope they let us hear the heartbeat. I'll be 12 weeks then.