pepper112765
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Post by pepper112765 on May 11, 2011 11:11:24 GMT -5
The main concern of states is that they don't have the financial burden to take care of the children, which is the reason why child support exists. I am sure his pockets are being hit hard and he figures that if he is carrying the financial burden then he should have primary custody of the children. It also shows on his part, that he is not considering her (as the ex) at all. What better way to decimate a mother than to take her children, whether she is at Stage 4 or not. Here's hopin that the abuse she suffered won't extend to the children once he gets them. So it's okay to decimate the father by taking his kids away, yet not okay to do the same to a woman. Really? And has anyone here actually been home with a cancer patient? I have, who is to look after the kids when mom is so sick from the chemo that she can't move from the couch? Who is to feed and care for the children when mom due to the narcotics she has to take can't function in a normal capacity? How will the children react when they are woken in the middle of the night to screams of pain, or when the cancer moves to an area of the Brain that causes hallucinations? She is there mother that is no doubt but, is she the best possible solution for the children? Obviously the Judge didn't think so and having lived the horror of the last 2 years of stage 4 cancer I agree with her ruling. First off she didn't take them, HE MOVED. Secondly she has a support system in Durham and I am sure that support system will help her with any needs she may have. I am also sure that whatever school they attend that there are a network of parents or those children's school friends that will pitch in to help as well as the school. And yes, I have been home with a cancer patient, my father. He was diagnosed in 1986 and we heard he had six months to live until he finally died in 1991. We (meaning my siblings and I) as well as my mother, took care of him when he wasn't in the hospital and it was hell. No doubt. But, I'd rather he be home with what he was familiar and around family than to be put in a nursing home. Was it difficult, yes, epecially for my mother. But none of us wouldn't have had it any other way.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 11, 2011 11:12:51 GMT -5
So why do you think Michael Shiavo didn't have the authority to do this?
Weren't they divorced or separated at the time? I can't remember, but I thought it had something to do with their marital status and no living will specifying that he got to make the decision.
If I am not married and have no living will the decision is turned over to my parents if they are still alive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2011 11:14:28 GMT -5
So why do you think Michael Shiavo didn't have the authority to do this? Weren't they divorced or separated at the time? I can't remember, but I thought it had something to do with their marital status and no living will specifying that he got to make the decision. If I am not married and have no living will the decision is turned over to my parents if they are still alive. I honestly don't know the full marital situation. However, I will say that in Texas (not sure where they lived and what the rules are), anyone married couple can say they are "separated", but it doesn't mean anything. There is no legal separation in Texas so they would still be considered married and the husband (or wife) would have the final decision if no living will or medical directive were available.
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 11, 2011 11:21:44 GMT -5
So why do you think Michael Shiavo didn't have the authority to do this? Weren't they divorced or separated at the time? I can't remember, but I thought it had something to do with their marital status and no living will specifying that he got to make the decision. If I am not married and have no living will the decision is turned over to my parents if they are still alive. I honestly don't know the full marital situation. However, I will say that in Texas (not sure where they lived and what the rules are), anyone married couple can say they are "separated", but it doesn't mean anything. There is no legal separation in Texas so they would still be considered married and the husband (or wife) would have the final decision if no living will or medical directive were available. And the same holds true in Florida, if you do not have a divorce decree then you are married, wether you have lived together for 10 years or not seen each other for 20.
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EVT1
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Post by EVT1 on May 11, 2011 11:30:44 GMT -5
I think that is the point- he moved, and now has engaged in a custody battle with a sick wife. Doesn't look good on his end for the media thrashing. Could lose that job.
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b2r
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Post by b2r on May 11, 2011 11:32:52 GMT -5
Terri Schiavo collapsed in her St. Petersburg, Florida home in full cardiac arrest on February 25, 1990. She suffered massive brain damage due to lack of oxygen and, after two and a half months in a coma, her diagnosis was elevated to vegetative state. For the next few years doctors attempted physical therapy and other experimental therapy, hoping to return Terri to a state of awareness. In 1998 Schiavo's husband, Michael, petitioned the Sixth Circuit Court of Florida (Pinellas County), to remove her feeding tube pursuant to Florida Statutes Section 765.401 He was opposed by Terri's parents, Robert and Mary Schindler, who argued that she was conscious. The court determined that she would not wish to continue life-prolonging measures, and on April 24, 2001 Terri's feeding tube was removed for the first time, only to be reinserted several days later. On February 25, 2005, a Pinellas County judge ordered the removal of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube. Several appeals and federal government intervention followed, which included U.S. President George W. Bush returning to Washington D.C. to sign legislation designed to keep her alive. After all attempts at appeals through the federal court system upheld the original decision to remove the feeding tube, staff at the Pinellas Park hospice facility where Terri was being cared for disconnected the feeding tube on March 18, 2005. The staff did not make any attempt or allow anyone else to make any attempt to provide her with regular food or water, leading to her death on March 31 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terri_Schiavo_case
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2011 11:41:24 GMT -5
They are still married... In MY state it is harsh punishment for leaving a sick spouse. I have a friend that left his wife who has MS. No children involved, no real money, she had no real symptoms of illness when he left her, and the divorce had nothing to do with her illness. During the divorce process she became symptomatic, had to use a cane, cut her work hours to part time. By AZ law about leaving a sick or disabled person he had to pay her $2000 a month for 3 years as maintenance. Don't know what the laws are in the state this is happening in, but with kids involved if there are laws similar to AZ about divorcing sick people, we could be talking BIG bucks here. I rented my friend a room in my house for $250 a month. He switched jobs along the way, and most of his pay check went to her support because she was sick. He didn't complain because he felt bad that she got sick after they broke up.
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floridayankee
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Post by floridayankee on May 11, 2011 14:11:38 GMT -5
No- the father should be paying to support his children-did you read the part where she moved there with him for his job and quit hers? "Giordano said she sacrificed her job as a paralegal, hoping for a happy home life raising her children. She says she helped her husband get a loan for his education, and moved the family to Durham for his job. But she and her husband separated after she says she suffered domestic abuse and he moved to Chicago to take another job." I'm sure she could still work as a paralegal- oh wait- cancer- don't bother applying. She needs a good divorce lawyer. HALF! ;D Since we know absolutely nothing about their financial assets or the husbands income, it's nothing but pure speculation to assume that child support payments are anywhere near sufficient to raise two children.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 11, 2011 14:31:01 GMT -5
If I read this right she is losing because he is better financially set than she is? And was a victim of DV in the marriage? DISGUSTING!!! I bet she will get some help now after the show. I left a marriage with well documented DV with 3 kids, a U-Haul, no job, and no money. My ex tried the same thing on me. MANY women lose their kids under these circumstances-- to a violent man because he has money and they are afraid to fight. I fought like a dog, was in deep hiding for over 2 years so he wouldn't kill me, or us, as he said he would if I did not give him the kids. I won. Best of luck to this lady and her kids. Now, if I was rich this is the kind of cause I would my money in to. Blah. When it comes to my kids, I'm a do whatcha gotta do kind of person. There's what legal, and usually that's what's right- but not always. I would resist an unjust ruling to my dying breath. He is clearly taking advantage of her poor health and limited means to strike back at her and win. But...there are three sides to this story: his, hers, and the truth. So, we'll never really know. All that's required to "document" DV is call the police a few times and make an accusation. Maybe he did something, maybe he didn't. When that kind of charge is leveled, it's prove yourself innocent if you're a man. I know this because I'm aware of a situation when I was in the NAVY where a woman had the man she was having an affair with hit her and blame it on her husband. The affair came out during the divorce, and it was only after the 'other man' had an attack of conscience that the soon to be ex was exhonerated and granted custody. So, it cuts both ways.
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EVT1
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Post by EVT1 on May 11, 2011 14:46:20 GMT -5
Since we know absolutely nothing about their financial assets or the husbands income, it's nothing but pure speculation to assume that child support payments are anywhere near sufficient to raise two children. On the other side of that coin we can probably assume the non-working party probably can't afford to pack up and move- so that leaves her giving up her children (also assuming there was not an invite from the husband to live with him). I can't blame her for doing everything she can. Regardless he is going to look like a turd before it is over.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 11, 2011 14:59:41 GMT -5
Unable to care for herself, so hey, let's give her custody of a 5 year old.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2011 15:53:17 GMT -5
IF she was in a DV situation-- do you advise someone to stay in one because they are broke? Or to leave their kids in one and run away? Is that the best thing for the kids?
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 11, 2011 16:43:18 GMT -5
Since we know absolutely nothing about their financial assets or the husbands income, it's nothing but pure speculation to assume that child support payments are anywhere near sufficient to raise two children. On the other side of that coin we can probably assume the non-working party probably can't afford to pack up and move- so that leaves her giving up her children (also assuming there was not an invite from the husband to live with him). I can't blame her for doing everything she can. Regardless he is going to look like a turd before it is over. He looks like a turd now.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 11, 2011 18:00:35 GMT -5
He only looks like a turd because we have only heard her side of the story. If someone came on here and said that his wife was mentally unstable, had accused him falsly of domestic violence, didn't have a job, and had racked up hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt shopping for purses and shoes while being a SAHM that had everything. Meanwhile, he lost his job, she left him, so he found another job - but the only job he could find was out of state, so he took it. He found out the kids weren't very well cared for, and his wife was telling them all sorts of lies. He had also been giving her money every month to take care of the kids, but instead of paying the rent, she had used it to buy gifts for her boyfriend. Unfortunately, she also had gotten cancer. And, he felt really, really bad about it, but the best thing for his kids was to be in a stable home with a sane parent, so he filed for custody.
We really only know one side of the story. Maybe hers is accurate and the guy is a turd. Maybe this lady is a nutball. I suspect it is probably somewhere in between.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2011 18:10:22 GMT -5
Wonder if they would put a nutball on TV without doing some background on it? He'll get his chance to go forward. I just can't see her doing this if her story is not true. Some women have taken their kids and disappeared in that underground railroad for abused women and children. This lady has no option to do this with the cancer and all. Maybe they will do follow-up. I'd like to read what happens. Depends on viewer response, I guess.
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