Take the children from mother with breast cancer?

[b2r]

Durham mother suffering from breast cancer fights to keep her kids



DURHAM, N.C. --
A Durham mother stricken with cancer took her two children to New York, hoping that her appearance on the "Today Show" Wednesday morning, will help her keep custody of her kids.

"As far as the prognosis no one really knows how long I'm going to live, which is the same for any person. Even my doctors don't know," Alaina Giordano said during an interview with Matt Lauer. "Some people live two years, some people live 20 years, some people live five."

Alaina Giordano is fighting stage four breast cancer, as she also fights to keep her two children after a Durham family court judge ruled that her children’s father should get primary custody. He now lives in Chicago.



www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=news&cd=1&ved=0CDoQqQIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww2.nbc17.com%2Fnews%2F2011%2Fmay%2F10%2F4%2Fwoman-suffering-breast-cancer-fights-keep-her-kids-ar-1021904%2F&ei=V6LKTcZxh7iwA8CP6JkD&usg=AFQjCNFDfadYhS19tgHEWNfOIHj6YsOdiw

[billisonboard]

She needs to appeal the judge's ruling in court if she thinks it is wrong. She is attempting to emotionally manipulate the situation. I wonder if that is a common part of her psychological make-up and if that played a part in the judges decision to award primary custody to the father of the children.

[Deleted]

If I read this right she is losing because he is better financially set than she is? And was a victim of DV in the marriage? DISGUSTING!!! I bet she will get some help now after the show. I left a marriage with well documented DV with 3 kids, a U-Haul, no job, and no money. My ex tried the same thing on me. MANY women lose their kids under these circumstances-- to a violent man because he has money and they are afraid to fight. I fought like a dog, was in deep hiding for over 2 years so he wouldn't kill me, or us, as he said he would if I did not give him the kids. I won. Best of luck to this lady and her kids.
Now, if I was rich this is the kind of cause I would my money in to.

[floridayankee]

Take the children from mother with breast cancer

Custody changed because Mom no longer has the means to take care of the children. The breast cancer is incidental.

Judge Nancy Gordon ruled that because Giordano does not have a full-time job and cannot support the children, the father should get primary custody. If Giordano wants to be near her children, the judge says she should move to Chicago as well.

I suppose you believe it would be better for the kids to go on welfare and struggle day to day? I do believe the judge really should have taken a closer look at the allegation of spousal abuse (maybe they did, who knows) before granting custody to the Dad though.

[EVT1]

That sucks- but hey, at least she is getting treatment- more than a lot of people get in her situation. I can't believe a female judge didn't have a little sympathy since the husband was the one that moved away in the first place.

[Deleted]

Typical response to a battered woman's pleas, bill. She may very well not be alright in the head. DV does not tend to make one emotionally strong, but it sure does not mean a victim should lose their kids because of being trapped like a rat in a cage in a bad marriage.
And people wonder why women stay..............

[pepper112765]

May 11, 2011 10:14:46 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

She needs to appeal the judge's ruling in court if she thinks it is wrong. She is attempting to emotionally manipulate the situation. I wonder if that is a common part of her psychological make-up and if that played a part in the judges decision to award primary custody to the father of the children.

I think it is probable, since she does not work, his child support payments are signficantly high, hence his wanting to get custody. Despite his new work opportunities that sent him midway across the country, I think it a bit strange to want to uproot your children from everything they know and force the mother to move to where he is and have to find new doctors, etc. If she dies soon and that is a probability since she is at Stage 4, he will get those children soon enough.

[EVT1]

May 11, 2011 10:21:45 GMT -5 floridayankee said:

Custody changed because Mom no longer has the means to take care of the children. The breast cancer is incidental.

I suppose you believe it would be better for the kids to go on welfare and struggle day to day? I do believe the judge really should have taken a closer look at the allegation of spousal abuse (maybe they did, who knows) before granting custody to the Dad though.

No- the father should be paying to support his children-did you read the part where she moved there with him for his job and quit hers?

"Giordano said she sacrificed her job as a paralegal, hoping for a happy home life raising her children. She says she helped her husband get a loan for his education, and moved the family to Durham for his job. But she and her husband separated after she says she suffered domestic abuse and he moved to Chicago to take another job."

I'm sure she could still work as a paralegal- oh wait- cancer- don't bother applying. She needs a good divorce lawyer. HALF! ;D

[Deleted]

Child support, any one??? Mine had to pay out the rear for a long time for abusing me, which, of course, rolls down to the kids even if he never laid a hand on them.

Where is all the compassion for the poor, the sick, the unable to care for themselves??

[Deleted]

MY ex did not want to pay child support- PERIOD. He actually did not pay a cent for one year after the order until the judge told him to pay or go to jail. He got with an 18 YO girl, decided SHE would raise our kids, and told me to leave the house. BS!! He was met at the door when they came to assume custody of my kids with a restraining order. THIS man, jusrt like my ex, is not thinking about the best interests of his children, only about what he wants, which is to have power and control over his wife.
I do not think this woman would be going on TV if there was some deep dark secret here about her fitness to raise the kids.

[pepper112765]

The main concern of states is that they don't have the financial burden to take care of the children, which is the reason why child support exists. I am sure his pockets are being hit hard and he figures that if he is carrying the financial burden then he should have primary custody of the children. It also shows on his part, that he is not considering her (as the ex) at all. What better way to decimate a mother than to take her children, whether she is at Stage 4 or not. Here's hopin that the abuse she suffered won't extend to the children once he gets them.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2011 10:28:49 GMT -5 @krickitt said:

Where is all the compassion for the poor, the sick, the unable to care for themselves??

I get what you're saying, but the guy was "accused" of DV. It doesn't say anything about whether he actually did it. I'm not saying he didn't or he did, but at this point it's an accusation.

I seem to recall something a few years ago that was a hot button issue where the Duke Lacrosse team was "accused" of rape. How did that turn out and what was your initial gut reaction to it? Did you automatically think they were guilty because she was from a poor neighborhood? It also seems this same lady that "accused" that Lacrosse team of rape is now accused of murder.

I'm agreeing with bils on this one. She can fight it in court. Quit trying to tug at heart-strings to get the sympathy vote. Perhaps the judge solely granted custody to the father based on his financial situation and job and life stability. Is it compassionate to let children potentially watch their mother die in front of them at such a young age?

[Deleted]

AMEN, pepper!! IF he gets them.

[marshabar1]

DURHAM, N.C. --
A Durham mother stricken with cancer took her two children to New York, hoping that her appearance on the "Today Show" Wednesday morning, will help her keep custody of her kids.

Good move. Situation like that needs exposure and this woman needs help.

[b2r]

From the judges homepage.


Community Involvement

•Judea Reform Congregation, former member Board of Trustees
•Durham County Animal Protection Society
•Durham Coalition for Battered Women
•Women in Action for the Prevention of Violence and its Causes, Inc., Board of Trustees
•Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, Team Organizer (The LeGALities)
•Religious Coalition for a Non-Violent Durham
•Durham City/County Gang Steering Committee
•Rotary International (Downtown Durham Chapter)
•The Art of Giving, a Women's Giving Group



www.judgenancygordon.com/RESUME.html

[Deleted]

ALL DV victims go through this-- people don't believe them. The shame of DV often keeps women silent, then when they run, no one believes them. Often they have been so isolated there are no witnesses, just one control freak man against a woman and kids.
**Note-- this happens to men, too, and is just as bad, or even worse, in some ways.**

[cme1201]

May 11, 2011 10:39:51 GMT -5 pepper112765 said:

The main concern of states is that they don't have the financial burden to take care of the children, which is the reason why child support exists. I am sure his pockets are being hit hard and he figures that if he is carrying the financial burden then he should have primary custody of the children. It also shows on his part, that he is not considering her (as the ex) at all. What better way to decimate a mother than to take her children, whether she is at Stage 4 or not. Here's hopin that the abuse she suffered won't extend to the children once he gets them.

So it's okay to decimate the father by taking his kids away, yet not okay to do the same to a woman. Really?

And has anyone here actually been home with a cancer patient? I have, who is to look after the kids when mom is so sick from the chemo that she can't move from the couch?

Who is to feed and care for the children when mom due to the narcotics she has to take can't function in a normal capacity?

How will the children react when they are woken in the middle of the night to screams of pain, or when the cancer moves to an area of the Brain that causes hallucinations?

She is there mother that is no doubt but, is she the best possible solution for the children? Obviously the Judge didn't think so and having lived the horror of the last 2 years of stage 4 cancer I agree with her ruling.

[Deleted]

Should someone in a family leave the home if they are terminally ill?? WHERE is the compassion people claim to have for sick people, kids, women?

[marshabar1]

I'm sure you understand, CME, how important your medical team is in the treatment of cancer. Attitude has a massive impact on recovery. Any decent man seeing his ex-wife and children in this situation would have a heart and not load more grief on this suffering woman and his children.

The judge made a cold decision and it does set a bad precedent. Take them away because she's sick and poor?

Hell, take 'em all away.

[EVT1]

Damn cme- you read a lot into this- it stated she went once a month and it was stable- but if it is that bad, than surely a big stressful move is in order if she wants to see her kids while she is able.

Divorce Lawyer. Yesterday.

[Deleted]

Give all the available money to healthy illegals instead of giving some to this woman that really needs it, through no fault of her own.

[EVT1]

Decent or not his ass will be given the Michael Schaivo treatment after this.

[Deleted]

Go save her, evt. Wish you could. I'm betting local help will come rolling her way.

[Deleted]

How will she fight this? It just about did me in, and I was healthy as a horse. The strain of an unjust custody battle will take you down in the best of circumstances.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2011 10:46:55 GMT -5 @krickitt said:

ALL DV victims go through this-- people don't believe them. The shame of DV often keeps women silent, then when they run, no one believes them. Often they have been so isolated there are no witnesses, just one control freak man against a woman and kids.
**Note-- this happens to men, too, and is just as bad, or even worse, in some ways.**

Did you read a word I actually wrote, or did you just see that I said I agree with bils about fighting it in court rather than pulling on heart-strings for sympathy would be the better option at this point.

I also said an accusation doesn't equate to guilty. If he is guilty, from what b2r posted, this judge doesn't seem like the person that would rule in his favor due to DV.

[EVT1]

May 11, 2011 10:59:05 GMT -5 @krickitt said:

How will she fight this? It just about did me in, and I was healthy as a horse. The strain of an unjust custody battle will take you down in the best of circumstances.

Gloria Allred

[Deleted]

May 11, 2011 10:56:41 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

Decent or not his ass will be given the Michael Schaivo treatment after this.

You know it's funny....my wife and I have spoken about this subject as to what we want if something like this happened to each of us. We don't have it written down anywhere, but we both agreed that if there is no chance of us having a relatively normal life then we would want the other person to "pull the plug". So why do you think Michael Shiavo didn't have the authority to do this?

[EVT1]

He did have the authority- I meant regardless of facts this guy will be demonized by media- but he might deserve it- if I was him I would be backpedaling on this one.

[b2r]

In accordance with the Uniform and Marriage and Divorce Act, it is not uncommon for family court to take into account the health, both physical and mental, of a parent in making custody decisions.

"Substantial case law and psychological research consistently indicate that the physical and mental health of the parent constitute an important factor in considering custody of children following divorce," says Dr. Gerry Koocher, professor of psychology at Simmons College in Boston.


www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=news&cd=3&ved=0CDwQqQIwAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2FHealth%2FBreastCancerCenter%2Fnorth-carolina-mom-breast-cancer-loses-custody%2Fstory%3Fid%3D13546870&ei=zLLKTeywB4KasAP0lcHMAw&usg=AFQjCNFyclCdLTdj1gq7jX68h0_EzkWviw

In her ruling, Judge Nancy Gordon cited forensic psychologist Dr. Helen Brantley: "The more contact [the children] have with the non-ill parent, the better they do. They divide their world into the cancer world and a free of cancer world. Children want a normal childhood, and it is not normal with an ill parent."

[Deleted]

May 11, 2011 11:06:13 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

He did have the authority- I meant regardless of facts this guy will be demonized by media- but he might deserve it- if I was him I would be backpedaling on this one.

Oh okay...sorry....thought you were saying Shaivo didn't have the authority....my mistake.

If the husband of this lady didn't do it, why should he have to backpedal about anything. That's the problem here, regardless of whether he did or did not do it, he's getting demonized as though it's a settled fact that he did do it.