azphx1972
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Post by azphx1972 on May 6, 2011 18:56:13 GMT -5
Mrs. Dinero - I thought your thread was very helpful as well. I'm not sure why alot of these posters are so interested in staying stuck in the muck. Everyone comes to these boards with their own issues, financial situations, etc. We're here to read and learn from other people's experiences. If it doesn't pertain to you, then don't read it or feel like you need to comment. I too agree that there seems to be some kind of jealousy going on. Just because someone isn't currently struggling, doesn't mean that there information or advice isn't worth taking a look at. I personally find "success" stories very inspiring. I like to see examples of people controlling their finances so that they can enjoy life today and save for the future...that's my goal too. Surely many of the posters would be ripping her apart if she spent every single cent of that income and had no savings to show for it (very possible in the HCOL area that I live in). There is value in her example. Everyone's expenses/incomes are different because their circumstances are so vastly different (kids/daycare costs/area they live in/salary/Martial statues, etc.) so there are some of us out here who find value in the information she has provided. My income is not much different than hers, but my expenses are much, much different. It's very interesting to see how she has allocated her funds. I know when I posted my budget a while back, I got a lot of very insightful comments (because my husband's income had drastically been reduced). I too wished that some of the harshest critics posted their budgets, so I could see their choices. Some of the posters on this board can really attack other posters, yet, they don't put their money where their mouth is. TFB, well said. Mrs. D, thank you so much for starting this thread. I gave you karma for it. It's helped me to stay on my own path with my budget and financial goals. I don't know about other people, but for me the urge to spend every dime I make is VERY powerful. It takes a huge conscious effort to confine my spending to 1/3 of my income. Yes, I realize that people can easily live on that amount if they had to, but there is definitely a challenge in reigning in your wants when you don't have to, and I am inspired by anyone who can do that, because it helps to reinforce my own efforts. And I can't really talk to people I know in real life about this, because most of them wouldn't understand and think I'm just bragging when I'm just looking for support. That's where places like this board comes in. I would hope that I can post my situation even if I'm not struggling, and still receive encouragement to continue doing what I'm doing. It is disappointing to see the negative reactions; I wish we could provide support to people in all walks of life.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 7, 2011 13:52:13 GMT -5
Mrs. Dinero - I thought your thread was very helpful as well. I'm not sure why alot of these posters are so interested in staying stuck in the muck. Everyone comes to these boards with their own issues, financial situations, etc. We're here to read and learn from other people's experiences. If it doesn't pertain to you, then don't read it or feel like you need to comment. I too agree that there seems to be some kind of jealousy going on. Just because someone isn't currently struggling, doesn't mean that there information or advice isn't worth taking a look at. I personally find "success" stories very inspiring. I like to see examples of people controlling their finances so that they can enjoy life today and save for the future...that's my goal too. Surely many of the posters would be ripping her apart if she spent every single cent of that income and had no savings to show for it (very possible in the HCOL area that I live in). There is value in her example. Everyone's expenses/incomes are different because their circumstances are so vastly different (kids/daycare costs/area they live in/salary/Martial statues, etc.) so there are some of us out here who find value in the information she has provided. My income is not much different than hers, but my expenses are much, much different. It's very interesting to see how she has allocated her funds. I know when I posted my budget a while back, I got a lot of very insightful comments (because my husband's income had drastically been reduced). I too wished that some of the harshest critics posted their budgets, so I could see their choices. Some of the posters on this board can really attack other posters, yet, they don't put their money where their mouth is. TFB, well said. Mrs. D, thank you so much for starting this thread. I gave you karma for it. It's helped me to stay on my own path with my budget and financial goals. I don't know about other people, but for me the urge to spend every dime I make is VERY powerful. It takes a huge conscious effort to confine my spending to 1/3 of my income. Yes, I realize that people can easily live on that amount if they had to, but there is definitely a challenge in reigning in your wants when you don't have to, and I am inspired by anyone who can do that, because it helps to reinforce my own efforts. And I can't really talk to people I know in real life about this, because most of them wouldn't understand and think I'm just bragging when I'm just looking for support. That's where places like this board comes in. I would hope that I can post my situation even if I'm not struggling, and still receive encouragement to continue doing what I'm doing. It is disappointing to see the negative reactions; I wish we could provide support to people in all walks of life. azphx: I can't talk to people in real life either. Obviously, Mrs. Dinero's post is an example that IF you are doing well and expose yourself on YM, some people are going to be encouraging and others are going to be jerks. Maybe it's too late for the people who are being jerks (personally, I don't think so), but people who have lived/are living below their means and their stories MIGHT very well help young people who are just starting out.
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createmyown
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Post by createmyown on May 9, 2011 20:29:22 GMT -5
Good point, Dancinmama. As others have pointed out, it`s hard to celebrate successes with many people IRL. It`s nice to be able to come to a board and get some kudos for doing the right thing and not have people plan to spend your money for you. Karma for you!
ETA: forgot a word!
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 9, 2011 20:52:44 GMT -5
Good point, Dancinmama. As others have pointed out, it`s hard to celebrate successes with many people IRL. It`s nice to be able to come to a board and get some kudos for doing the right thing and not have people plan to spend your money for you. Karma for you! ETA: forgot a word! Thanks. My main goal would be to show young people that it CAN be done. It's pretty simple, just not always all that easy.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 9, 2011 22:56:52 GMT -5
That is truly one of the saddest things I've heard (if you don't count hurricanes, earthquakes and sick children) in a long time. May be you need to associate with different kind of people.....
Lena
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on May 10, 2011 11:11:53 GMT -5
I wanted to answer the question about "what do you eat?". I spend $200/month on groceries and household items. We eat out maybe once per week, but it is usually not very expensive (maybe $20-$25 total). I am vegetarian and DH only eats white meat, so that helps.
Today's menu: Breakfast Bagel w/cream cheese and an apple for DH Toast, coffee, and strawberries for me
Lunch DH- Turkey on whole wheat, peaches, pudding Me- Salad made from organic lettuce, broccoli, chickpeas, snap peas, croutons, parm cheese and a side of strawberries (I love strawberries!)
Dinner will be spaghetti with home made sauce made from organic canned tomatoes, fresh onion, mushrooms, garlic, and peppers. I will make DH's with ground turkey. The pasta is whole wheat, and will be topped with freshly grated parmesan cheese and side dishes of garlic bread and steamed broccoli.
10:00 snack for dh: fresh strawberry shortcake We usually eat a dinner out about once per week, but not a very expensive one (maybe $25 total). About twice per week I will make a more "fancy" meal, usually something out of one of my cooking magazines. To eat on a small budget, you have to be ok with eating pretty simple meals. Some of our favorites are (all home made): beans and cornbread with a side salad; grilled veggies (and chicken for DH); white or red chili; soups. I usually have a salad or leftovers for lunch; DH usually eats a sandwich, except for wednesdays when his dad takes him out to lunch. I cook a nice breakfast for DH and I on the weekends (if I'm not working), but our day to day stuff is pretty boring. We drink bottled water, gatorade, 2% milk, and an occasional soda (usually only when we go out). Snacks are usually fresh fruit or veggies, granola bars, small chocolates, a fudge bar. I usually get these items on sale for cheap or free after coupons.
I don't place a super-high priority on food. I want it to be as healthy as possible, and I like it to taste good. Beyond that it is a tool for fueling me through the day, not a life-enrichment tool. Some people really enjoy food and place a high importance on the dining experience, so my life wouldn't work for them.
HTH
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 10, 2011 11:40:19 GMT -5
I just wanted to add to the food part of this conversation.... Just because you have a household with two people working, it does not mean that you will go out to eat a lot. We have an almost 1 year old and haven't gone out to eat since before he was born. I think in the past year we've done take out (getting pizza) maybe once a month, so that's $10-15/month for us in the "going out to eat" category. Even before the baby, we only went out to eat with other groups of people, never just the two of us, we're both good cooks
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2011 11:50:53 GMT -5
That is truly one of the saddest things I've heard (if you don't count hurricanes, earthquakes and sick children) in a long time. May be you need to associate with different kind of people..... Lena I don't think I could celebrate things like fully funding my Roth or buying a car with cash with my friends and family in real life. They'd think I was nuts or bragging.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 10, 2011 11:57:08 GMT -5
mrs dinero - We have similar net income and we live in a HCOLA. Our mortgage is double yours but we have no car loan and also no cc debt. After maxing retirement accounts we have started putting extra towards the mortgage each month. We are 4 years into a 30 and are refi-ing that into a 15 year (at a slightly lower monthly payment) some time this month. I know that isn't what most YMers would do, but it is what makes us comfortable. Ultimately I hope to work less as my son gets older, so I'm assuming our income will decrease. Keep saving and good luck
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azphx1972
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Post by azphx1972 on May 10, 2011 12:57:52 GMT -5
I don't think I could celebrate things like fully funding my Roth or buying a car with cash with my friends and family in real life. They'd think I was nuts or bragging. Yeah, I think my family and friends would get pretty sick of me telling them that I've yet again managed to live significantly below my means on a 6 figure salary. ;D
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 10, 2011 13:28:11 GMT -5
That's too bad. You worked super hard to get where you are, they SHOULD celebrate whatever accomplishments you make. And they should be excited for you. And you know what?? Even if you ARE bragging, you deserve it. Where they not there when you were going through hell??? So, they should be there when you are doing great. I am sorry if they are not. I think you've done an amazing job!!!!!
Lena
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 10, 2011 13:39:30 GMT -5
That is truly one of the saddest things I've heard (if you don't count hurricanes, earthquakes and sick children) in a long time. May be you need to associate with different kind of people..... Lena I don't think I could celebrate things like fully funding my Roth or buying a car with cash with my friends and family in real life. They'd think I was nuts or bragging. Which is EXACTLY why some people come here instead. They want to tell SOMEONE. They want to give examples to others that it CAN be done. But a lot of times they get, well, ya, considering the amount of money that you make - big ing deal. Which is probably another reason why people are tempted to Keep Up With the Joneses - it's all about what you can SHOW you have instead of being able to TALK ABOUT what you REALLY have.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 10, 2011 15:23:24 GMT -5
The key is developing the habit of living well below your means early. I do recognize this is easier for single folks than for parents, but keep in mind that I help support my parents financially, so I do have additional expenses...I just do my best to plan for them. Quick thing about this - everyone is a non-parent at some point ;D I agree it's very important to get kids and young adults on the right track early, and part of the reason for that is so we can help prevent as many too-soon-not-ready pregnancies as possible. Sure, babies are great. But they are also money-suckers and life-changers and at least half the people I know who have kids weren't ready in any sense of the word. They don't always pay the price right away, but more often over time when they can't afford to do this or that or the other thing. A lot of times, if you have kids too young it's very difficult (sometimes impossible) to really catch up to where you could/should have been, especially if you continue to have children. I've noted before that I joined these boards when I was about 20, and it's amazing how much of a difference it's made in the trajectory of my financial life. Part of that is because thanks to this board, I decided not to have kids until I could comfortably afford it. I was kind of fantasizing the other day about starting a family late next year (I'm 25) but I doubt DF and I will be ready by then. I think with some hard work and discipline, we can be ready in two or three years, and I'm okay with that. I'm not trying to knock people who have kids early because it can work out fine a lot of the time but I just wanted to magnify this thought by saying YES, it's a LOT easier to get into a good financial place as a SINK or DINK person, and therefore more people ought to consider staying a SINK or DINK for longer. As far as this post goes, I can see why people got offended by it and I can also see where the OP was coming from, so I'm kind of neutral. Anytime you post your budget you open yourself to criticism though
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2011 15:30:26 GMT -5
I was kind of fantasizing the other day about starting a family late next year (I'm 25) but I doubt DF and I will be ready by then. I think with some hard work and discipline, we can be ready in two or three years, and I'm okay with that. You're still a baby! I had my boys at 33 and 41.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 10, 2011 15:47:45 GMT -5
I'm not trying to knock people who have kids early because it can work out fine a lot of the time but I just wanted to magnify this thought by saying YES, it's a LOT easier to get into a good financial place as a SINK or DINK person, and therefore more people ought to consider staying a SINK or DINK for longer. firebird: You are right on!! DH and I waited (8) years before we had children. In that time, we finished our college educations, found professional corporate jobs, lived like we made half of what we did, bought our first home using only 1/2 of what we had available to pay the 20% down - all BEFORE I got pregnant. By the time DS came along, we had a very strong financial footing. He was pure joy instead of a financial burden.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 10, 2011 15:55:37 GMT -5
There are advantages to having kids young though. I've seen a lot of people that wait for financial reasons, then spend ungodly amounts of money on the kiddos. If you have them when you're younger and broker, there's no way in hell you're buying a $5k crib, or sending them to uber baby academy for $25k a year so that your 10 month old can listen to Mozart while he poops himself. Some of the stuff new parents with money spend money on is just nuts. Granted we bought our share of dumb baby stuff, but we didn't have a lot of money at the time, so our dumb purchases were a LOT smaller.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 10, 2011 15:59:05 GMT -5
uber baby academy for $25k a year so that your 10 month old can listen to Mozart while he poops himself It depends on the career too, with what I do it made a lot more sense to have a kid now on the bottom than to have it on the top. Having to stop an assay for maternity leave is no problem (PITA, but I quickly recovered). Going into labor during grant season when over half my pay would depend on getting that grant. . .not so simple and certainly more stressful.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 10, 2011 16:01:32 GMT -5
There are advantages to having kids young though. I've seen a lot of people that wait for financial reasons, then spend ungodly amounts of money on the kiddos. If you have them when you're younger and broker, there's no way in hell you're buying a $5k crib, or sending them to uber baby academy for $25k a year so that your 10 month old can listen to Mozart while he poops himself. Some of the stuff new parents with money spend money on is just nuts. Granted we bought our share of dumb baby stuff, but we didn't have a lot of money at the time, so our dumb purchases were a LOT smaller. Dark Honor: I suppose some people might make that choice; we didn't. People who are willing to only live off of 50% of their income for several years are not going to squander money on fancy baby stuff. I tried to get as much as I could second-hand. Instead of paying for preschool, DS went to a parent-participation preschool which was FREE. School was on Mon, Wed, Fri and (27) children were enrolled. Each mom worked (1) morning a week and was actively involved in planning/supervising activities. I also belonged to a baby-sitting co-op so no extra cost when we wanted to go out. I spoiled DS with my time, but not with our money.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 10, 2011 16:03:48 GMT -5
If you have them when you're younger and broker, there's no way in hell you're buying a $5k crib, or sending them to uber baby academy for $25k a year so that your 10 month old can listen to Mozart while he poops himself. I'll echo DQ's Good point but if you can stop yourself from buying the useless crap even if you have the money, I think the benefits of waiting to have kids tend to outweigh the drawbacks. Only as far as your mid-to-late thirties though, after that you tend to have to pay for fertility treatments which can more than cancel out the money you've saved.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 10, 2011 16:09:12 GMT -5
I think the benefits of waiting to have kids tend to outweigh the drawbacks.
Only as far as your mid-to-late thirties though Late thirties??? My youngest should be leaving the house heading to Stanford when I'm 38.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 10, 2011 16:12:38 GMT -5
Unless you have more children. You have two girls, so now you need two boys, yes?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 10, 2011 16:17:38 GMT -5
Loop has standing instructions to beat the sense back into me if I ever start wanting anymore. Besides, I can't have anymore, I had that taken care of years ago.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on May 10, 2011 16:41:42 GMT -5
I think waiting to have children only benefits those that build themselves up to a higher income & have some financial sense. Most people just upgrade as their income goes up - bigger house, bigger car, etc. So, it doesn't matter if they have kids now or later, they are going to be in for a big shock.
There are advantages to each. A kid at 40 means you may be on better financial footing, or it could mean you don't get the house to yourself again until 60 & you are worrying about retirement at the same time you are worrying about college. A kid at 20 means you are really broke those first few years, but you could be doing fantastic by the time you near retirement & have the time & still have the energy to play with the grandbabies.
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azphx1972
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Post by azphx1972 on May 10, 2011 17:04:47 GMT -5
Keep in mind that there are health repurcussions for children born to older mothers: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-417982/First-born-young-mums-likely-live-longer.htmllongevity.livejournal.com/25972.html" People are more likely to see their 100th birthday, research hints, if they were born to young mothers.
The age at which a mother gives birth has a major impact on how long her child will live, two researchers from the University of Chicago's Center on Aging told the Chicago Actuarial Association meeting this spring.
The chances of living to the ripe old age of 100 -- and beyond -- nearly double for a child born to a woman before her 25th birthday, Drs. Leonid Gavrilov and Natalia Gavrilova reported. The father's age is less important to longevity, according to their research."
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 10, 2011 17:43:16 GMT -5
That's kind of sobering. Perhaps I should rethink the whole starting-a-family-next year thing You know what's funny though? I keep hearing from random people (mostly people who don't know my history with DF) that I'm too young to get married. WTF? I could see it if I was still in my teens, but... mid-twenties? How old is "old enough" to these people anyway? But it doesn't really matter. I have come to the conclusion that everyone should just do what they want with respect to marriage and especially children. Everyone is going to have an opinion anyway, you might as well do what you want
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on May 10, 2011 18:17:15 GMT -5
DH and I were 21 when we got married. Everyone said we were "too young" and it would never last. We'll be celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary this summer :-)
RE: having kids- People look at me all the time and tell me I'm too young to have kids. Most people who don't know my age assume I'm 17 or 18 (I look pretty young, someone once told me they thought I was 14!). I've had people tell me to wait until I get a bachelor's, wait until I get a master's, wait, wait, wait. My response to them is that it is my life and my decision as to what age I have kids.
I wish I could have started a family younger, but I knew that financially I wouldn't be able to provide my children the kind of life I wanted them to have. Now that I'm in a good financial place for a family, God seems to have different plans. We've lost 2 pregnancies in a row now, and are looking at genetic testing and whatever treatments go along with that ($$$). So now I keep thinking, maybe we should've started sooner (and I'm only 27!).
There is a fine line between waiting until you can afford them and waiting too long.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 10, 2011 18:34:11 GMT -5
There is a fine line between waiting until you can afford them and waiting too long.
Agreed. I am sorry about your babies *hugs*
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2011 19:15:11 GMT -5
Frugalnurse....sorry.
Just wanted to say, I know what you've gone through, I lost 2 in a row also. However, we persevered and were blessed with one of each....this was 30 and 26 yrs. ago without 'genetic testing' or other 'treatments'. To lose one or more pregnancies was quite, quite common for ALOT of people that I knew...
Don't be too disheartened after having the right amount of time to heal from it......is all.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2011 19:22:48 GMT -5
Truth be told, my success rate was 33%....i lost 2 other pregnancies as well... 6 pregnancies and 2 children.
Best of luck...you'll do fine, really....you will.
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oreo
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Post by oreo on May 10, 2011 20:09:46 GMT -5
Another benefit to waiting until you are older to have kids (you have to wait until you are REALLY OLD) is that your parents might be retired and can watch them for you rather than you having to pay for day care! That worked well for us. On the negative side, it hurts my knees more to chase DS around than it would have 10 years ago...
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