Rip apart my budget.

[midjd]

Suzi, I think that's just a glitch in the way he listed things - I believe it's just $800 a month for food (=groceries). Still, that can be cut significantly (especially with a SAHW).

[suziq38]

May 2, 2011 17:52:23 GMT -5 midjd said:

Suzi, I think that's just a glitch in the way he listed things - I believe it's just $800 a month for food (=groceries). Still, that can be cut significantly (especially with a SAHW).

Thank you.
I hope that the true total is only $800.00.
Hopefully, Dark will answer this question for me.
At any rate, $800.00 a month, even for a family of 4 is a bit high.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Yeah the groceries are $800. It's the way I used to have the spreadsheet set up. There was an amount in there for eating out every month, also listed under the food category obviously. The charts were already set up to pull numbers from the categories so I didn't want to change anything when we took out the restuarant entry. If you saw it with formatting it would make more sense.

To answer your earlier questions, we live outside the bay area in CA. We're close enough to commute in, but far enough out that you really wouldn't want to. Half way between San Jose and Monterey. It was the only way we could get a decent house in a good school district on just my salary.

The kids are 9 and 10, so not quite old enough in my opinion to do the latch key thing. Like you said Loop could work while they're in school as long as she can find something that could be a little flexible since they have a half day once a week. When did schools start doing that anyway, and why?

[zibazinski]

Money.

[Firebird]

May 3, 2011 2:19:31 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Money.

The answer to everything! ;D

I think the best approach is to cut the costs you can now, decide who is more urgent and start that one now, and save up for the other one over the next year or so. With the extra paycheck you should be able to pay for the second person outright, and for the first one a 24-month 0% payment plan ought to be manageable after cuts. Plus, the 2nd-person's-braces money can double as a starter EF in the meantime.

I think you should be the more urgent one. 10 sounds a bit young for braces to me too. Is your other DD going to need them as well? If so, spare yourself some grief and start saving now - that way you never have to go through this again.

I wonder if people are being nicer to Loop because they know she's on the boards too? Typically the SAHS is being torn to pieces by now.

[Angel!]

May 3, 2011 11:19:58 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I wonder if people are being nicer to Loop because they know she's on the boards too? Typically the SAHS is being torn to pieces by now.

Yeah, that lazy wife of yours needs a good kick in the pants. Tell her to go get a job! ;D

I think no one is picking on Loop because their budget isn't too bad. Sure, they could cut down on groceries a bit or cut the cable. But, they have $600 left over each month for extras & are putting a significant amount away for retirement. I know Dark appears stressed, but I think they will manage just fine. Honestly, I can give suggestions, but I can't give criticism because their budget looks a hell of a lot better than mine.

But, seriously - start putting money into savings

[Firebird]

Yeah, that lazy wife of yours needs a good kick in the pants. Tell her to go get a job! ;D

But, seriously - start putting money into savings

I never said I had a problem with it ;D But yeah, this is my concern too. I feel pretty funny about our EF being so low over the next few months even though it's a necessary evil and in all probability we will be fine - but I'd be in absolute panic mode if we had children.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Is your other DD going to need them as well?

So far, and please god let it stay that way, it appears that she got my wife's teeth so every dentist she sees for life will ask how long she was in braces because her teeth are so straight. My wife never had braces, a retainer, anything, and I think she's had like two small cavities in her entire life. She's a genetic freak.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Yeah, that lazy wife of yours needs a good kick in the pants. Tell her to go get a job! ;D

You're preaching to the choir sister, I've been telling her to get a job since she graduated. She's never listened to me before though, so I'm not expecting this to be any different.

[Loopdilou]

HA! I just tried to go out and start working and was two seconds from sending out my resume when I was reminded that there was no point because the pay wouldn't cover the cost of daycare So Dark said, and I quote, "You don't need to get a job."

[Bob Ross]

Just hire some illegal to raise your kids.

[Loopdilou]

I have this weird thing where even if I were to hire an "illegal" I would still pay them a wage comparable to that of a non "illegal". So it'd be a wash

[Bob Ross]

Start a phone sex hotline then? You can do that from home. Maybe even hire some highly paid illegals for the Spanish speaking clients?

[Firebird]

So far, and please god let it stay that way, it appears that she got my wife's teeth so every dentist she sees for life will ask how long she was in braces because her teeth are so straight. My wife never had braces, a retainer, anything, and I think she's had like two small cavities in her entire life. She's a genetic freak.

She must like your younger DD better ;D

[Sum Dum Gai]

So Dark said, and I quote, "You don't need to get a job."

For the record, I have no recollection of this conversation. However, you don't necessarily "need" a job. Some extra money would be pretty nice though.

[Firebird]

Drug dealing.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Drug dealing.

I've been lobbying for becoming a grower for one of the medical marijuana coops, but Loop has moral issues with it. Probably not a good idea with my security clearance anyway.

[Firebird]

You can lose your clearance for that?

[Sum Dum Gai]

It's still illegal federally, so my guess would be yeah I probably would.

[Bob Ross]

It ain't a crime if you don't get caught.

[wvugurl26]

Yeah I'm pretty sure when your clearance is up for renewal they wouldn't like the drug dealing

I know my first extra check hits in September guess we get paid at the same time. I only looked bc my brother gets paid weekly and June is one of his 5 paycheck months but that's bc they get paid on Wednesday.

I think everyone else has pretty much covered it on the budget. HCOL areas suck. I have a pretty small apt and I'm gone a lot. April's gas/electric bill was the first one under $100 since October my first full month in the apt. I used to be the queen of grocery shopping and then I moved here to the land of $4/gallon milk. All the good meat sales seem to be for huge packs and my freezer is pretty small. I pay my bills and then I buy groceries and stuff. I'd probably make myself sick if I added up all food spending.

[suziq38]

The kids are 9 and 10, so not quite old enough in my opinion to do the latch key thing. Like you said Loop could work while they're in school as long as she can find something that could be a little flexible since they have a half day once a week. When did schools start doing that anyway, and why?

They don't have to be "latch-key" kids, but she can still work a couple of days a week.
For example, Tuesdays Thursdays, and Fridays; or Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays....or Saturdays when you are home.
You stay home with them one weekend day a week and Loop works.

What degree did she graduate with? Time to "dust off" the diploma.

[suziq38]

Yeah the groceries are $800. It's the way I used to have the spreadsheet set up. There was an amount in there for eating out every month, also listed under the food category obviously. The charts were already set up to pull numbers from the categories so I didn't want to change anything when we took out the restuarant entry. If you saw it with formatting it would make more sense.

So this includes groceries, restaurants, and adult alcoholic beverages?

If so, how do you spend your $800.00 a month?

[suziq38]

Apr 29, 2011 16:39:21 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Has Loop looked for work? Or considered watching a child or two over the summer?

Not really. We were waiting until my daughter had her appointment with the orthodontist to see how much we're looking at total. That appointment was on Tuesday. We talked about it a bit on Tuesday/Wednesday, and I looked at our budget for the first time in probably 8 or 9 months. Then she left first thing Thursday morning for a state democratic party convention. She holds a non paying seat on the county party committee. I spent all day yesterday stressing out, but I didn't have the numbers with me at work, so I didn't post until this morning.

We still need to schedule consults with the other orthodontist in town to get a second opinion on pricing.

It is obvious that you probably like that your wife stays home.
Money is not that much of an issue, as you make good money.
You also are fairly good at distributing it wisely. You've given it lots of thought.
It is just that you are living a bit above your means in a few areas.
The area that you live in is a HCOLA.
Your wife is a great person, but things in life change.
I remember that I wanted to do the same thing that she does; stay home with the children and care for the family. I was fortunate to do so for a couple of years. I just realized over time that my DH needed more than my love. He needed my help financially.

I had a college degree and I watched a couple of kids after school.
I also worked part-time in sales for a decade while my kids were in school.
Sometimes, I had to pay a neighbor to pick the kids up one or two days a week and watch them for an hour or two. Or, we would trade days to cut down on the cost of outside daycare.

My DH graduated from college and he didn't want the family cleaning business anymore. I took it over in addition to caring for my family because we needed the money. Sometimes I had to work at night after DH got home. He was getting paid only $10.00 an hour to be an intern at his chosen field. It took a year for him to find a real job.

Your wife sounds like a bright woman. She can go off to a non paid political convention and volunteer her time because she is interested and it is probably enriching for her. Good. She should try to get some of those feelings from a part time job that pays a little cash.

I once thought that I could quit my job after the kids graduated from high school. My friends knocked some sense into me, thank god.
They said, "Suzi, you should work until they get out of college. Who do you think is going to pay for their college?"

I admire her, as I always wanted to stay home with our kids.
On the other hand, I am so happy that I did not stress out my DH by ignoring the obvious...That he could use some financial help.
She doesn't have to start work this summer. Stay home one more summer. She can start in September.
The kids won't lose much, she can work part-time while they are at school or close to it. You house will be dirtier, and maybe you will have to help with the laundry and homework.

Besides, working a bit made me a bit more employable later, when the kids got to college.

[suziq38]

As far as the braces, both our kids had them. We paid about $2,500.00 each, and they would not keep their retainers on at night.
Consequently, DD's teeth shifted and she is now 26 whining about how she needs braces again.
My point is that she didn't appreciate it when WE were paying for it. I think we made payments.
I look at my own teeth and they aren't perfect.

This time around, DD will be paying for them on her own. Maybe this time she will wear the retainer like she was supposed to in the first place.

If I were you, I would have a series of garage sales and sell what I could on Craigs list (motorcycle).
Once I saved enough money, I would "grind down" (no pun intended) the dentist's price a bit.
I would then pay for the braces for the person that needs it the most, which is probably you.
Hopefully your wife will see that if she worked a bit, she could save for those braces in no time.
Most mothers are fierce about helping their kids when they need them. This is one of those times.

[Sum Dum Gai]

What degree did she graduate with? Time to "dust off" the diploma.

BA in Literature. She really wanted to get into publishing, but all the jobs in the field after she graduated were in San Francisco which is just too far to commute from here. We've talked about moving into the city after the kids leave the house, but it's not something we're really looking at right now. I think she's shifting her focus to work up from her unpaid political position into a paid one. Not necessarily elected office, but a paid party position.

So this includes groceries, restaurants, and adult alcoholic beverages?

The $800 includes food, hygiene products, cleaning supplies, and cat food/litter, basically all the stuff we get from a grocery store. The vast majority of it is food.

Restuarant spending would come out of the discretionary amount, along with adult beverages which for the most part is just our homebrew so doesn't cost much, other than time.

It is obvious that you probably like that your wife stays home.

I'm honestly still torn on it. She enjoys getting out of the house for her political stuff, and if she's going to be gone anyway I'd rather she came home with a paycheck. However, having a stay at home spouse is pretty damn sweet! Coming home to a clean house, kids already done with their homework, dinner on the table... I can totally see why people get all misty eyed remembering the 1950s, let's just put it that way.

[Deleted]

Will you sign your kids up for summer activities? If yes, she might be able to find a job as a counselor. My wife was a summer camp counselor from 15-16 till she graduate college at 23. The pay was acceptable and the tips at the end from the parents were quite generous.

Also in the fall she might look for jobs in your kids school district this way she will be at working only when they are at school. Substitute teacher maybe?

Last, since her BA is in Literature, can she look into proof reading? I believe you can even do that from home.

[Firebird]

Consequently, DD's teeth shifted and she is now 26 whining about how she needs braces again.
My point is that she didn't appreciate it when WE were paying for it. I think we made payments.
I look at my own teeth and they aren't perfect.

This time around, DD will be paying for them on her own. Maybe this time she will wear the retainer like she was supposed to in the first place.

I hate to say it, but this is not uncommon. I myself was lax about the retainer. Top row of teeth are still pretty much perfect, but the bottom ones have shifted (mainly the one directly left of my bottom left tooth - when I run my tongue over the inside of my teeth, there's a noticeable gap where that teeth SHOULD be, that's how far forward it has shifted).

I don't intend to do anything about it because to be honest, I don't care that much (I'd care a lot more if it was a top tooth, but my bottom teeth aren't usually visible even when I smile). But it could have easily been avoided had I worn my retainer religiously.

So, just something to keep in mind.

[Firebird]

I'm honestly still torn on it. She enjoys getting out of the house for her political stuff, and if she's going to be gone anyway I'd rather she came home with a paycheck. However, having a stay at home spouse is pretty damn sweet! Coming home to a clean house, kids already done with their homework, dinner on the table... I can totally see why people get all misty eyed remembering the 1950s, let's just put it that way.

If we can make it work, I'd love for DF to be the SAHS if I'm still working out of the house when we have kids (hopefully, ideally, I'll be running a business from home by then and it won't be an issue but I'm not banking on that). I got a small taste of how awesome it is when DF first moved here and was job hunting. Spotless apartment, he cooked dinner four night a week, and we had all the time together we wanted. Yeah, I could get used to that...

It's not so much the house chores and cooking that I miss (although that was nice), it was his company. It's good for us to have alone time too but we work such opposite schedules now that I don't see him nearly as much as I'd like

[suziq38]

May 3, 2011 23:50:36 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Will you sign your kids up for summer activities? If yes, she might be able to find a job as a counselor. My wife was a summer camp counselor from 15-16 till she graduate college at 23. The pay was acceptable and the tips at the end from the parents were quite generous.

Also in the fall she might look for jobs in your kids school district this way she will be at working only when they are at school. Substitute teacher maybe?

Last, since her BA is in Literature, can she look into proof reading? I believe you can even do that from home.

Cawiau has some great ideas.

The JOB doesn't have to be related to her degree.
It is hard to find a job when she has been a SAHM for so long.
It is not impossible, but it is difficult.

Has she thought of medical transcribing, or proof reading lawyer's depositions? Do they have those types of jobs anymore?

I was a substitute teacher for about 4 years before I took a part-time teaching job. I loved volunteering and teaching kids, but I liked getting paid $135.00 a day for the 5 or 6 hours.

Now there is not as much of a need for teachers. Because of the budget cuts, the laid off teachers are scrambling for the substitute teaching assignments.

When she goes on these out of town conventions, does the Democratic Committee pay for the trips?