Infowars assets

[happyhoix]

The Onion bought them.

www.cnn.com/2024/11/14/business/onion-alex-jones-infowars-auction/index.html

🤪

[Tennesseer]

LOL.  Had to read the linked article to make sure it wasn't an Onion article.

Have fun, The Onion.

[pulmonarymd]

Best thing I heard all week.

[happyhoix]

Rolling Stone says Jones is pissed. (Isn’t he always pissed anyway? All his pictures show him beet faced and grimacing).

I think his plan was to have his friends buy it back for him.

The Onion is going to relaunch as a humor site. And anti gun group has already signed a multi year purchase with them.

🙂

[Tennesseer]

From THE ONION

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’

Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

All told, the decision to acquire InfoWars was an easy one for the Global Tetrahedron executive board.

Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.

Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over.

What’s next for InfoWars remains a live issue. The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.

As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

All will be revealed in due time. For now, let’s enjoy this win and toast to the continued consolidation of power and capital.

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’

[andi9899]

I love this for him.

[Opti]

The bit about the vitamins was pretty funny. It will be interesting to see what happens.

[thyme4change]

I hope they change the content very slowly - because there are a bunch of dummies out there that won’t know about the sale.

[happyhoix]

I am beginning to dislike Elon more and more.

He’s filed some kind of complaint about this sale. Apparently, there is a trustee who held Infowars and was charged with selling it. He took bids from a bunch of people. The Onion wasn’t offering the highest price, but the Sandyhook families (the ones who will end up getting the money from the sale, due to the lawsuit they won with Jones) apparently agreed together to authorize the sale to the Onion, because they didn’t want Infowars to be used for it’s original purposes.

Musk has been helping Jones (I think he’s been giving in a place to do his radio show or podcast or whatever he does) and the plan was for Musk to buy Infowars and give it back to Jones.

So Musk is saying the bidding was fishy and the Onion shouldn’t have gotten it.

I’m wondering if the trustee is obligated to take the highest bid? Or can the Sandy Hook families grant the trustee permission to sell it to a specific person, and not the highest bidder?

It would really suck if he had to sell it to Musk, knowing that he will turn around and give it back to Jones so he can continue with his evil mischief.

[djAdvocate]

i just had to comment, here.
the highest disclosed bid was $3.5M
the Onion paid less.
if Musk or someone were to buy it and gift it to Jones, then Jones would be forced to sell it AGAIN, approximately five hundred times, to pay what he owes.

in other words, i would be far more worried about someone OTHER than Jones, but similarly fucked up, ending up with it. i am sure the SH families are thinking the same thing.

[billisonboard]

Someone else can own it and hire Jones as an on-air commentator. 

[thyme4change]

Nov 16, 2024 22:48:58 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

I am beginning to dislike Elon more and more.

He’s filed some kind of complaint about this sale. Apparently, there is a trustee who held Infowars and was charged with selling it. He took bids from a bunch of people. The Onion wasn’t offering the highest price, but the Sandyhook families (the ones who will end up getting the money from the sale, due to the lawsuit they won with Jones) apparently agreed together to authorize the sale to the Onion, because they didn’t want Infowars to be used for it’s original purposes.

Musk has been helping Jones (I think he’s been giving in a place to do his radio show or podcast or whatever he does) and the plan was for Musk to buy Infowars and give it back to Jones.

So Musk is saying the bidding was fishy and the Onion shouldn’t have gotten it.

I’m wondering if the trustee is obligated to take the highest bid? Or can the Sandy Hook families grant the trustee permission to sell it to a specific person, and not the highest bidder?

It would really suck if he had to sell it to Musk, knowing that he will turn around and give it back to Jones so he can continue with his evil mischief.

I asked my bankruptcy law husband. The law is worded “highest and best” offer. So money and other things can be taken into consideration. There would be a bunch of people who have to be onboard.

I’m confused on the 3.5M price tag - that doesn’t seem like very much money. We sold our 4 story midtown commercial building for less than that (granted that building was a piece of shit.) I found an article that said “A previous version of this story incorrectly stated the sale price as $3.5M” but when I read the story it still said $3.5M, and I couldn’t find a different number elsewhere - so I guess that is the price, but that doesn’t feel right.

[billisonboard]

Nov 17, 2024 11:00:38 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Nov 16, 2024 22:48:58 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

I am beginning to dislike Elon more and more.

He’s filed some kind of complaint about this sale. Apparently, there is a trustee who held Infowars and was charged with selling it. He took bids from a bunch of people. The Onion wasn’t offering the highest price, but the Sandyhook families (the ones who will end up getting the money from the sale, due to the lawsuit they won with Jones) apparently agreed together to authorize the sale to the Onion, because they didn’t want Infowars to be used for it’s original purposes.

Musk has been helping Jones (I think he’s been giving in a place to do his radio show or podcast or whatever he does) and the plan was for Musk to buy Infowars and give it back to Jones.

So Musk is saying the bidding was fishy and the Onion shouldn’t have gotten it.

I’m wondering if the trustee is obligated to take the highest bid? Or can the Sandy Hook families grant the trustee permission to sell it to a specific person, and not the highest bidder?

It would really suck if he had to sell it to Musk, knowing that he will turn around and give it back to Jones so he can continue with his evil mischief.

I asked my bankruptcy law husband. The law is worded “highest and best” offer. So money and other things can be taken into consideration. There would be a bunch of people who have to be onboard.

I’m confused on the 3.5M price tag - that doesn’t seem like very much money. We sold our 4 story midtown commercial building for less than that (granted that building was a piece of shit.) I found an article that said “A previous version of this story incorrectly stated the sale price as $3.5M” but when I read the story it still said $3.5M, and I couldn’t find a different number elsewhere - so I guess that is the price, but that doesn’t feel right.

I am unsure what exactly is being bought. I kinda read the bit about the vitamins and thought that was basically tongue in cheek. Is there a significant physical asset involved or is it really just the rights to the name?

[happyhoix]

Found this - way at the bottom of the article it says that the company is worth 6 million in cash and 1.2 million in assets.

www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/onion-wins-alex-jones-infowars-bankruptcy-auction-rcna179936

Apparently Jones was broadcasting right up until the moment of the sale. Fifteen minutes after the sale, his website went dark.

From the article, it doesn’t seem that the trustee has to pick the highest bid.

[billisonboard]

Nov 17, 2024 11:25:55 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

Found this - way at the bottom of the article it says that the company is worth 6 million in cash and 1.2 million in assets.

www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/onion-wins-alex-jones-infowars-bankruptcy-auction-rcna179936

Apparently Jones was broadcasting right up until the moment of the sale. Fifteen minutes after the sale, his website went dark.

From the article, it doesn’t seem that the trustee has to pick the highest bid.

Thanks for the link. It said this also:

Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors.