Time or Money

[Pink Cashmere]

Which one is most important to you?

I’ve been binge watching a tv show where one of the husbands felt like chasing money to provide for his wife and children was more important than spending time with his family. 

I have worked with people that would get very upset if they didn’t get to work OT, and they were willing to work 12 hours/day (16 if our employer allowed it in extraordinary circumstances), 7 days/week, for months on end. 

I did use to work OT years ago, but I worked an evening shift, so I preferred to work OT by going in early, when my children were at school, and one off day. I would work 12 hours/day if I could go in early, since my children were at school anyway, and I just sucked up the 6th day. I never worked 7 days, even when they tried to make me.

My coworkers that worked all the OT they could get, I wondered if their children even knew them. Most of them had spouses to hold things down at home, but I always wondered when did they spend time with their children when they worked so much. 

When I worked OT, I only wanted 20 hours of OT over 2 weeks, so I was not raising hell like some of my coworkers were about OT. My OT was to do extra stuff, and not necessary for me to maintain my lifestyle.

My free time has always been more valuable to me than money, even though I have traded my free time for some extra money over the years. 

For several years now, after I stopped working OT, you pretty much have to put chains on me and take my car keys to make me work OT. I just want to do my 8 and skate.

So I’m asking what is the balance for you? Is it worth it to you to work more hours to have more money, and  spend less time with your spouse and children?

[NastyWoman]

I'm not sure how it is at other places but while I did put in an awful lot of extra hours and I did not get paid for them as I was salaried. That said I am convinced one of the reasons I survived at least five major RIF periods (during a few of which the work force would be halved) because I would do what I needed to do to get my work done*. However, I categorically refused a company laptop or phone so once I closed my office door that was it for the day.

* I had no littles to take care of or worry about anymore while this happened.

[billisonboard]

I work at a school. Occasionally there are evening or Saturday field trips. I will chaperone if no one else will and kids would miss out on some cool opportunity if the trip got canceled. But generally, I don't volunteer for extra hours. It is more a matter of energy than time or money.

[Opti]

It depends on the situation. If you don't have the money, sometimes you end up spending time to get around that fact. #lifeunderfunded

If you have some of both, it may be personal preference #lifewellfunded

MO

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 2, 2024 16:06:02 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Which one is most important to you?

Well, that depends, priorities change as I go through life.  I've done both extremes.  I've worked massive amounts of OT and I've taken years off entirely without having a paid job at all, or worked just a PT position.  In 2006 I worked two shifts the entire YEAR.  We're talking four 10's M-Th and three 12's Fri-Sun.  My son was 4 and has zero memory of me working all the time and I saw him every night (he also has zero memory of me staying home with him 24/7 for three years). That year positioned me much better financially and was worth it.

Once I had two kids and activities picked up I moved to an office job that was more "family friendly" in terms of flexibility and quit working so much to spend time with the kids and we did a lot those years.  After 14 years or so of that, the oldest is grown and my youngest is at his dad's every other weekend and doing a lot of other things independent of me. If the opportunity presented itself again I could see myself coming in on weekends again, never to the extreme I used to, but even every other Saturday would be a big boost to getting this house stuff paid off.  Every other weekend would be 20K/year!

Unfortunately, we're very slow right now and just the 2 hours or so a week I was doing for years has been cut.  They say 2025 will be busy, so crossing my fingers.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Aug 2, 2024 16:33:57 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I'm not sure how it is at other places but while I did put in an awful lot of extra hours and I did not get paid for them as I was salaried. That said I am convinced one of the reasons I survived at least five major RIF periods (during a few of which the work force would be halved) because I would do what I needed to do to get my work done*. However, I categorically refused a company laptop or phone so once I closed my office door that was it for the day.

* I had no littles to take care of or worry about anymore while this happened.

I did this too.  Often, I’d be the last person standing.  I did whatever I needed to do, even if it was below my pay grade.  I also learned whatever needed to be learned to complete what needed to be done, and I frequently asked to take a stab at something (particularly complicated stats) to take the stress of my PI.  

The other advantage was that when I started my LDR with TD, my boss let me time shift.  Working a couple very long weeks meant I could take a couple weeks off, go to WA and data crunch.  I did this for several years.

[Opti]

Aug 2, 2024 16:33:57 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I'm not sure how it is at other places but while I did put in an awful lot of extra hours and I did not get paid for them as I was salaried. That said I am convinced one of the reasons I survived at least five major RIF periods (during a few of which the work force would be halved) because I would do what I needed to do to get my work done*. However, I categorically refused a company laptop or phone so once I closed my office door that was it for the day.

* I had no littles to take care of or worry about anymore while this happened.

TY for posting this BTW.

I worked in various versions of IT in my better paid life so a company laptop, phone, pager was part of the job. As was working hours most people did not. So the various lifetimes I was on call, it could get pretty bad. Before I was laid off in summer of 2003, I took calls from anywhere in the globe the company was at. And I often it did it blind and sometimes waking up early or from a dead sleep. Do not recommend. 

My biggest mistake has been my lack of bragging and marketing what I did. Fixing that now.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Definitely depends on the situation for me.
Here are two actual examples from my life:

I have risked and racked up many speeding tickets because it picking up my babies from day care as soon as i possibly could was far more important than the financial cost of the tickets.

I far prefer donating blood than money.

[busymom]

It depends on your personal situation.  Those years when we were living right on the edge, I'd work every hour I could to keep up with the bills.  Now that there is more breathing room, I'd prioritize time with friends or family I am close to.  YMMV.  

[raeoflyte]

I'd really like both. I work in an industry that works way too much, but that is how we stay employed so it's hard to break out of. I've spent too much on conveniences to give me back time.

Till the kids are out of the house though I'd have to say I pick time. Then I expect to have another push for money once theyre out of the house pre-retirement.

[Cookies Galore]

I've always been the type to avoid OT. I have a 35 hour work week and, for the most part, only work 35 hours a week. I have three weeks out of the year that I need to work maybe 40 hours, and if a true emergency pops up I'll do what needs to be done, but I'm a hard stop gal.

[giramomma]

Time.

I can't make more of it. If my cancer comes back and it's worse, well, I'm shit out of luck with time.

I can always make more money. I'm worth a tidy sum dead. There's no being shit out of luck with money.

We've always prioritized time over money. 

I prioritize my job over family and friends for about 3 years. You all know how well that turned out for me.


 

[soupandstew]

DH had a work associate who became a sort of friend.  The guy was all about the $$.  In later years, after we all retired, he said his kids never really knew him because he spent all his time working.  Blamed his wife because she declined to return to the work world after she had the 5 kids he wanted because she wanted to raise them herself.  Money meant a lot to the guy; one day at lunch I was babbling about how much fun I was having trying to grow tomatoes and he said I was stupid because I could buy them cheaper.  It's not always about the cost, sometimes it's about the taste. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Considering I picked one of the worst fields to go into regarding money for me it's time.   I can't get time back once it is gone it is gone.   I stayed at the university despite the shit pay because it allowed me a lot of flexibility as a new mother.

My grandmother was very focused on money.  She didn't really have any hobbies or do many things.   They did travel some when my dad was a kid he's been to Disney World AND Disneyland so obviously at some point she spent money and then just . ..stopped.

It was all about saving every penny she could and being as cheap as possible.  Her intent was to leave something behind for my dad and us kids.  Instead every penny has gone to the nursing home.

I decided I want more core memories with my kids.  Of course I am saving for retirement, of course I am going to invest the majority of DH's inheritance so we can be comfortable as we age.

But refusing to go on vacation because it costs money?  Pfft.  Family vacations memories are something I cherish, especially now that my mom is gone.  So much so I had a tantrum when my dad first said he was planning on going with L up to Estes Park.  My brain considered that place sacred (I'm okay now and even thinking of asking if they want to plan a joint vacation in the near future).

I want my kids to have those memories.  It would be far more responsible of us to invest all that money now and wait until we retire to do things but my grandfather died at 63.  My mother died at 66.  I'm not taking the chance that I am going to be around to enjoy that money.  I am going to take advantage now of time and my youth.

I regret NOTHING about the $5k in student loans I took out to go to Borneo.  I made the decision to take advantage of not having responsibilities and being in my 20s.  Sure I could have saved more but it is a trip I still talk about to this day.  I have the pictures up on my wall.   While not impossible that it may happen again that was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity presented to me.  I won't have 3 weeks to go half way around the world again anytime soon.

I can always figure out ways to make more money.  Since Time Turners don't actually exist there is no way for me to create more time.

[countrygirl2]

I am trying not to get excited as this is just the beginning.

We have someone looking at our Indiana house today, yes, he is pre-approved and my realtor said he is putting $100k earnest money down if the contract is written. We don't know who he is but apparently others do. He wanted to see the house at 9 last night and she said that was too late. Sounds like he is afraid someone else will buy it. It's a beautiful place but he ended up with a beginning realtor, this is his first day, so hope he doesn't blow the sale.  The guy apparently called back after ours left and made an appointment with the newby.  She said if he buys it they will walk him through. We will have to help too with the solar and all that. She said she could kick herself, I bet she could. 

So crossing my fingers and trying not to get crazy excited.  

I'm not feeling good today, hubs said don't worry about it, he knows I'm frustrated as hell not being able to work like normal.  He said the cats are wanting out so bad, but I really wanted to keep them in a week to get used to the place. I may go over later and let them out for awhile, he said its all he can do to keep them in. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 2, 2024 16:33:57 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I'm not sure how it is at other places but while I did put in an awful lot of extra hours and I did not get paid for them as I was salaried. That said I am convinced one of the reasons I survived at least five major RIF periods (during a few of which the work force would be halved) because I would do what I needed to do to get my work done*. However, I categorically refused a company laptop or phone so once I closed my office door that was it for the day.

* I had no littles to take care of or worry about anymore while this happened.

I think being salaried is different, because that seems to come with being responsible for a bigger picture and making sure that things get done. Mister works long days and has to go in sometimes in weekends to put out fires. That is due to responsibilities related to the position, so I get that.

In my OP, I was thinking more like a worker bee like I am, with no responsibilities besides doing my job while I’m at work. I am not responsible for the big picture, overall goals and whatnot, just responsible for doing my own job.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 6, 2024 9:35:30 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Considering I picked one of the worst fields to go into regarding money for me it's time.   I can't get time back once it is gone it is gone.   I stayed at the university despite the shit pay because it allowed me a lot of flexibility as a new mother.

My grandmother was very focused on money.  She didn't really have any hobbies or do many things.   They did travel some when my dad was a kid he's been to Disney World AND Disneyland so obviously at some point she spent money and then just . ..stopped.

It was all about saving every penny she could and being as cheap as possible.  Her intent was to leave something behind for my dad and us kids.  Instead every penny has gone to the nursing home.

I decided I want more core memories with my kids.  Of course I am saving for retirement, of course I am going to invest the majority of DH's inheritance so we can be comfortable as we age.

But refusing to go on vacation because it costs money?  Pfft.  Family vacations memories are something I cherish, especially now that my mom is gone.  So much so I had a tantrum when my dad first said he was planning on going with L up to Estes Park.  My brain considered that place sacred (I'm okay now and even thinking of asking if they want to plan a joint vacation in the near future).

I want my kids to have those memories.  It would be far more responsible of us to invest all that money now and wait until we retire to do things but my grandfather died at 63.  My mother died at 66.  I'm not taking the chance that I am going to be around to enjoy that money.  I am going to take advantage now of time and my youth.

I regret NOTHING about the $5k in student loans I took out to go to Borneo.  I made the decision to take advantage of not having responsibilities and being in my 20s.  Sure I could have saved more but it is a trip I still talk about to this day.  I have the pictures up on my wall.   While not impossible that it may happen again that was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity presented to me.  I won't have 3 weeks to go half way around the world again anytime soon.

I can always figure out ways to make more money.  Since Time Turners don't actually exist there is no way for me to create more time.

Making memories with my children was important to me too when I was raising them. And when I started working evenings at my current job, just being able to spend time with them became a big deal to me. 

But even at the job before that, I would sometimes work in other departments for a little extra money, after my regular shift was done, and sometimes on Saturdays.

Then I worked that job and my current one for some months, just long enough to be vested in the first stock option we’d been given at the first job. I was too close to just give that up. 

Then I worked OT at my current job, because I was preparing to buy my first house. I worked OT for a few years after I bought my house, just so I could do this or that with the extra money. I worked days the first couple of years at my job, so even working an off day, my children were at school while I worked that OT.

After I had to start working evenings, I was still willing to work OT, but preferably in the mornings, when my children were at school anyway. Working OT after my shift ended meant I was picking my children up even later at night, waking them up to get in the car, and then after we got home, they had to try to go to sleep again, and get enough rest for school the next morning. I didn’t like that. It wasn’t worth the extra money for me.

Years ago, a coworker was saying why he paid somebody to tend to his yard instead of doing it himself. He worked OT, and he said that just 1 hour of OT paid more than what he paid the person cutting his grass, so it was a good use of his time to work OT in his mind.

After I bought my house, I was working OT to pay off some furniture I’d bought for 0 interest for 12 and 18 months, to pay it off before the interest kicked in. I still had most of the money I’d saved while I was preparing to buy a house, and more than enough to pay for the furniture, but in my mind, that money was my cushion, since I’d never been a homeowner and I was nervous about the responsibility. I preferred to work OT to pay for the furniture I’d financed than use the money I’d saved to pay for it. One of my coworkers said that was stupid, he wouldn’t work OT to pay for some furniture. But he also worked OT and had a gambling habit, so in my mind, me working to pay off some furniture I’d financed before I had to pay interest on it, made more sense than working OT because of a gambling addiction. 

Anyway, these days, I feel like I have more time than money. But I’m also not against spending some money to resolve an issue I don’t want to spend my time dealing with.

Specifics pertaining to my life, I’d rather spend some money getting my Mom to and from her Doctor appointments, than spend several hours of my day going to get her and driving back and forth, which is at least 3 hours of driving, if traffic is okay, and doesn’t include the time in the Dr. office. She refuses to use that kind of transportation and insists on relying on me, so that is wishful thinking on my part. I’ve offered to pay the T’s son good money to wash my vehicles because I’d rather not do it myself, and I prefer not to take them through automated car washes. I pay somebody to tend to the yard at my other house, because I’d rack up thousands of dollars in fines from the city before I went over there and cut the grass myself.

Those things are without me working OT. And I don’t even have minor children that I’m trying to spend as much time with as I can anymore. I’m old and tired, so some things are worth it to me, to pay someone else to do, instead of doing them myself.

[soupandstew]

Aug 6, 2024 16:46:39 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 6, 2024 9:35:30 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Considering I picked one of the worst fields to go into regarding money for me it's time.   I can't get time back once it is gone it is gone.   I stayed at the university despite the shit pay because it allowed me a lot of flexibility as a new mother.

My grandmother was very focused on money.  She didn't really have any hobbies or do many things.   They did travel some when my dad was a kid he's been to Disney World AND Disneyland so obviously at some point she spent money and then just . ..stopped.

It was all about saving every penny she could and being as cheap as possible.  Her intent was to leave something behind for my dad and us kids.  Instead every penny has gone to the nursing home.

I decided I want more core memories with my kids.  Of course I am saving for retirement, of course I am going to invest the majority of DH's inheritance so we can be comfortable as we age.

But refusing to go on vacation because it costs money?  Pfft.  Family vacations memories are something I cherish, especially now that my mom is gone.  So much so I had a tantrum when my dad first said he was planning on going with L up to Estes Park.  My brain considered that place sacred (I'm okay now and even thinking of asking if they want to plan a joint vacation in the near future).

I want my kids to have those memories.  It would be far more responsible of us to invest all that money now and wait until we retire to do things but my grandfather died at 63.  My mother died at 66.  I'm not taking the chance that I am going to be around to enjoy that money.  I am going to take advantage now of time and my youth.

I regret NOTHING about the $5k in student loans I took out to go to Borneo.  I made the decision to take advantage of not having responsibilities and being in my 20s.  Sure I could have saved more but it is a trip I still talk about to this day.  I have the pictures up on my wall.   While not impossible that it may happen again that was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity presented to me.  I won't have 3 weeks to go half way around the world again anytime soon.

I can always figure out ways to make more money.  Since Time Turners don't actually exist there is no way for me to create more time.

Making memories with my children was important to me too when I was raising them. And when I started working evenings at my current job, just being able to spend time with them became a big deal to me. 

But even at the job before that, I would sometimes work in other departments for a little extra money, after my regular shift was done, and sometimes on Saturdays.

Then I worked that job and my current one for some months, just long enough to be vested in the first stock option we’d been given at the first job. I was too close to just give that up. 

Then I worked OT at my current job, because I was preparing to buy my first house. I worked OT for a few years after I bought my house, just so I could do this or that with the extra money. I worked days the first couple of years at my job, so even working an off day, my children were at school while I worked that OT.

After I had to start working evenings, I was still willing to work OT, but preferably in the mornings, when my children were at school anyway. Working OT after my shift ended meant I was picking my children up even later at night, waking them up to get in the car, and then after we got home, they had to try to go to sleep again, and get enough rest for school the next morning. I didn’t like that. It wasn’t worth the extra money for me.

Years ago, a coworker was saying why he paid somebody to tend to his yard instead of doing it himself. He worked OT, and he said that just 1 hour of OT paid more than what he paid the person cutting his grass, so it was a good use of his time to work OT in his mind.

After I bought my house, I was working OT to pay off some furniture I’d bought for 0 interest for 12 and 18 months, to pay it off before the interest kicked in. I still had most of the money I’d saved while I was preparing to buy a house, and more than enough to pay for the furniture, but in my mind, that money was my cushion, since I’d never been a homeowner and I was nervous about the responsibility. I preferred to work OT to pay for the furniture I’d financed than use the money I’d saved to pay for it. One of my coworkers said that was stupid, he wouldn’t work OT to pay for some furniture. But he also worked OT and had a gambling habit, so in my mind, me working to pay off some furniture I’d financed before I had to pay interest on it, made more sense than working OT because of a gambling addiction. 

Anyway, these days, I feel like I have more time than money. But I’m also not against spending some money to resolve an issue I don’t want to spend my time dealing with.

Specifics pertaining to my life, I’d rather spend some money getting my Mom to and from her Doctor appointments, than spend several hours of my day going to get her and driving back and forth, which is at least 3 hours of driving, if traffic is okay, and doesn’t include the time in the Dr. office. She refuses to use that kind of transportation and insists on relying on me, so that is wishful thinking on my part. I’ve offered to pay the T’s son good money to wash my vehicles because I’d rather not do it myself, and I prefer not to take them through automated car washes. I pay somebody to tend to the yard at my other house, because I’d rack up thousands of dollars in fines from the city before I went over there and cut the grass myself.

Those things are without me working OT. And I don’t even have minor children that I’m trying to spend as much time with as I can anymore. I’m old and tired, so some things are worth it to me, to pay someone else to do, instead of doing them myself.

This is exactly where we are in life.  We are able to hire people to take care of lawn maintenance, tree trimming, repairs, car washing, and such as needed.  And we can afford to use Uber or Lyft if we need to for medical appointments.  Why shouldn't we enjoy the result of the hard work, sacrifices, and careful investing we did for so many years?  Some folks really do enjoy boasting about their wealth while complaining about the cost of maintaining their lifestyle.  

[finnime]

Like many of you, I put in my time to reach a comfortable level of success. I was on call for hospital software systems for years. Later in other positions I traveled an average of 2 or 3 days every 2 weeks, including cross country. That was when my kids were small and it was not easy, making arrangements for them and their care while I was gone. XH was a serious problem and I could not rely on him. When DS was an infant I actually took him with me to a conference. He was a good baby, not prone to crying jags. Once I brought DD with me to a conference in Seattle. She loved it, including room service while I went to visit Microsoft.

In general if there was an opportunity I took it for greater income. I was always salaried, so an increase meant a step up in responsibility and position.

Now I have time and no money and I'm looking for ways to supplement income just to allow for things like another cruise if DH makes it for the next years. We are comfortable starving artists but more ease would be better. I do hire out the lawn care and car care. 

[Artemis Windsong]

I was fortunate to be a 40 hour per week, weekends off employee.  I did put in a lot of extra time at one employer during the summer hiring time.  There was an undercurrent there so I didn't put in for overtime which, as a single mother, I really needed.  The rest of the employees were on call 24/7.

My current H. was on call or traveling most of his career.  He was able to retire at 50.  To supplement he worked as a consultant when called on. That income stream fizzled as time went on.   I stopped working about the same time he did, which cut back on my social security.  Overall it was worth it. 

Over the years we did have some expensive activities like skiing, fishing. The majority of our activities now are tennis or pickleball.  Basically zero cost.  Our insurance pays for our gym fees now.

We are careful in the getting good deals on cars and not eating out except for special occasions.  

The concern for us as with everyone else is the increase of costs we can't control like groceries, utilities and insurances.

[zibazinski]

DD has a very demanding schedule and asked her employer for an extra week of vacation. She’s been there over 6 years. She wanted 3 weeks instead of the 2 she has now. He gave her a 30k raise instead. She didn’t know what to do after that but she’s not happy. She’d prefer the time off. At a certain point, the money just goes to more taxes and not in her pocket. She wants time off to get her head on straight.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 20, 2024 8:56:03 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

DD has a very demanding schedule and asked her employer for an extra week of vacation. She’s been there over 6 years. She wanted 3 weeks instead of the 2 she has now. He gave her a 30k raise instead. She didn’t know what to do after that but she’s not happy. She’d prefer the time off. At a certain point, the money just goes to more taxes and not in her pocket. She wants time off to get her head on straight.

2 weeks of vacation?!? That is crap.

[azucena]

lack of PTO in this country sucks. $30k raise is when she should hire cleaning lady and splurge on pre-made meals and other things of convenience to maximize her non-working hours.

[daisylu]

Aug 20, 2024 8:56:03 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

DD has a very demanding schedule and asked her employer for an extra week of vacation. She’s been there over 6 years. She wanted 3 weeks instead of the 2 she has now. He gave her a 30k raise instead. She didn’t know what to do after that but she’s not happy. She’d prefer the time off. At a certain point, the money just goes to more taxes and not in her pocket. She wants time off to get her head on straight.

This is why I know people who get a doctor who will put them out on short term disability (if available).

[zibazinski]

Aug 20, 2024 10:16:34 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 20, 2024 8:56:03 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

DD has a very demanding schedule and asked her employer for an extra week of vacation. She’s been there over 6 years. She wanted 3 weeks instead of the 2 she has now. He gave her a 30k raise instead. She didn’t know what to do after that but she’s not happy. She’d prefer the time off. At a certain point, the money just goes to more taxes and not in her pocket. She wants time off to get her head on straight.

2 weeks of vacation?!? That is crap.

I agree.

[zibazinski]

Aug 20, 2024 10:24:20 GMT -5 azucena said:

lack of PTO in this country sucks. $30k raise is when she should hire cleaning lady and splurge on pre-made meals and other things of convenience to maximize her non-working hours.

She does have a cleaning lady and I did a lot while I was there. The refrigerator, the pantry, the laundry room and I arranged for a landscaper to do something about the overgrown yard. They live in a nice neighborhood and look like a used car lot as well as the Beverly Hillbillies. I can’t do anything about the car lot of used cars but at least the yard will look better. They have a three car garage and it’s filled to the brim with his junk that he won’t get rid of. But that’s another story. That’s something to work on another time. I’ll see them in November and work on it then.

[zibazinski]

Aug 20, 2024 10:30:34 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Aug 20, 2024 8:56:03 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

DD has a very demanding schedule and asked her employer for an extra week of vacation. She’s been there over 6 years. She wanted 3 weeks instead of the 2 she has now. He gave her a 30k raise instead. She didn’t know what to do after that but she’s not happy. She’d prefer the time off. At a certain point, the money just goes to more taxes and not in her pocket. She wants time off to get her head on straight.

This is why I know people who get a doctor who will put them out on short term disability (if available).

She won’t do that or call off sick. I wish.