Crazy divorce request

[pulmonarymd]

Jul 13, 2024 20:00:59 GMT -5 Tiny said:

What if the husband is a "trust fund baby" and doesn't have much in the way of "w2 income" but they live a 500K a year lifestyle (thanks to his trust fund)? Maybe trust fund isn't the right thing... basically the husband's "income" is money from his parents. If the Father In Law is 70... the son is maybe 40ish... We don't know all the facts. Are there kids involved? How long was the couple married (the now Ex-wife might not have worked and neither did her husband - so not even future SS)?

Ok, yeah it seems like a crazy request... but we don't know all the facts.

If it is a trust fund, and the funds were not mingled with marital assets, she has no claim on the money. The terms of the trust determine how it is distributed. The OP said she was looking for a part of a future inheritance. Nobody has a right to an inheritance. If someone here asked for money advice, and they were depending on an inheritance, everyone would tell them they were wrong. No matter how it is dressed up, she has no claim on the money

[minnesotapaintlady]

Jul 13, 2024 13:45:29 GMT -5 Opti said:

PMD, it may be what you and Tractor think it is. It may not, you'd have to read the divorce filing IMO to perhaps understand the reality of the request etc. 

Here's the thing I hate about current US society especially since Trump.

If its a woman, assumed guilty before the facts are in
If its a man, oh he must have a reason for doing that ...

It doesn't matter whose fault the divorce was.  His, hers or nobody's.  It also doesn't matter what promises were made in the marriage.  The marriage itself was a promise and it's being dissolved. Now it's just splitting the assets acquired during the marriage.

Asking for a future inheritance is absurd.  If I was Tractors friend and this would have somehow managed to go through, I would have made sure there was no future inheritance. I'd just gift to DS while still alive and leave the rest to my dog with DS as the one managing the dog's money.

[Bonny]

Jul 13, 2024 20:35:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Jul 13, 2024 13:45:29 GMT -5 Opti said:

PMD, it may be what you and Tractor think it is. It may not, you'd have to read the divorce filing IMO to perhaps understand the reality of the request etc. 

Here's the thing I hate about current US society especially since Trump.

If its a woman, assumed guilty before the facts are in
If its a man, oh he must have a reason for doing that ...

It doesn't matter whose fault the divorce was.  His, hers or nobody's.  It also doesn't matter what promises were made in the marriage.  The marriage itself was a promise and it's being dissolved. Now it's just splitting the assets acquired during the marriage.

Asking for a future inheritance is absurd.  If I was Tractors friend and this would have somehow managed to go through, I would have made sure there was no future inheritance. I'd just gift to DS while still alive and leave the rest to my dog with DS as the one managing the dog's money.

Actually in some states it does. And the way some folks are trying to change state laws it may be much harder to get a divorce without proving "fault". And then the asset division will also be decided by whose "fault" the divorce was.

This thread triggered some memories for me.

DH's parents divorced in 1968 just before California instituted "No Fault" divorce. The court papers are ugly and DH was a pawn. Nobody should have to go through that. His parents were two very unhappy people with unrealistic expectations both of their own and societal.

While there was no Trust at the time of DH's parents' divorce, when FIL was divorced for the second time (around 1990 also in CA) his inheritance was a factor in the division of assets. While wife #2 couldn't make a claim on the principle of the Trust the income from it was considered. The judge awarded wife #2 DFIL's entire military pension, life insurance and there was some other monetary settlement. Since they were married for over 20 years that seemed reasonable. Neither one of them could sustain the "lifestyle to which they had been accustomed to".

DH also mentioned early in our courtship that he was going to receive an inheritance. At the time I thought "that's great...if it happens". I used to be smart back then! 

[mollyanna58]

My ex-SIL asked for a share of my brother's eventual inheritance; she did not get it. 

[thyme4change]

Jul 13, 2024 13:38:36 GMT -5 Opti said:

Jul 13, 2024 12:47:13 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

It doesn’t matter what he did or what he promised. She has no right to her former in laws money while they are still alive. Any other claim is ridiculous. Once they are divorced she is no longer related. What she is entitled to is 50% of the marital assets. That’s it. The fact that she feels entitled to anything more makes her the bad guy in this story

In your opinion. I'm divorced. Are you? She requested it and the judge shot it down. If it was in the initial request to the judge and there were no further rulings it might have taken less than 5 minutes of the court's time. My theory is it's OK to ask. Just try to be OK with what the answer is. I'm not big on the OMG they asked what crap. That's white evangelical territory. Do you really want to be that judgmental person without even knowing most of the basic facts of the divorce filing?

Shakes head. 
#white male privilege
#rememberjohnedwards

Nothing takes 5 minutes in court. You can’t just ask and the judge say no. You have to file the request, and even if it is part of a bigger filing, you have to make a legal argument- which usually includes previous cases, and other evidence. Then, someone has to read it. The opposing lawyers needed to respond with a legal position - again with previous cases and quotes of laws and whatever. They file that, and someone in the court has to read it. Even if the judge immediately says “Hell no”, the judge still has to write a judgment with legal reasoning on why it is a no.

The good news is - a bunch of lawyers got paid for busy work that they all knew was useless.

[zibazinski]

Interesting since I know two divorced women who not only received alimony for life but a share of the potential inheritance. So it can happen. In both cases the husband cheated so maybe that entered into it but who knows?

[thyme4change]

Aug 9, 2024 14:31:11 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Interesting since I know two divorced women who not only received alimony for life but a share of the potential inheritance. So it can happen. In both cases the husband cheated so maybe that entered into it but who knows?

Really? Wow - I thought inheritances were sole and separate unless the person combines them.

I better see a lawyer to make sure I have a wall around mine. My husband is just waiting for it to roll in so he can take part and be rich enough to get a young hottie. (He isn’t - that is just a joke)

[TheOtherMe]

I don't know of any women recently who received alimony.  

The last one I know about happened in the early 1980's.  She was a stay at home mom whose husband was gay.  He finally realized he had to be his true self.  He gave her all but a very small amount of his income for 10 years during which time the decree stated she was to educate herself and be able to find a job.  She did nothing.  The alimony stopped.  The children were now gone so no more child support.  She moved back to her parents.  

[Bonny]

Aug 9, 2024 18:53:30 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Aug 9, 2024 14:31:11 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Interesting since I know two divorced women who not only received alimony for life but a share of the potential inheritance. So it can happen. In both cases the husband cheated so maybe that entered into it but who knows?

Really? Wow - I thought inheritances were sole and separate unless the person combines them.

I better see a lawyer to make sure I have a wall around mine. My husband is just waiting for it to roll in so he can take part and be rich enough to get a young hottie. (He isn’t - that is just a joke)

I think it's whatever can be negotiated. It may be that couples agree to a future "payout" vs ripping off the band-aid now by selling assets that might generate a large tax burden or disrupt the rest of the family (like selling an expensive house).

As I posted upthread while FIL's wife #2 didn't get any of FIL's Trust, the income from the Trust was a factor in the distribution.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Aug 9, 2024 19:15:16 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I don't know of any women recently who received alimony.  

The last one I know about happened in the early 1980's.  She was a stay at home mom whose husband was gay.  He finally realized he had to be his true self.  He gave her all but a very small amount of his income for 10 years during which time the decree stated she was to educate herself and be able to find a job.  She did nothing.  The alimony stopped.  The children were now gone so no more child support.  She moved back to her parents.  

My sister does.  She and her ex was on par income and experience wise when she stepped out.  It took her 7 years of looking to get her foot back in the door to her old profession.  After working in it for 6 years, she is earning 80% of where she stepped out in 1998, or about 1/2 her ex’s income.  Her alimony gets her almost to where she was when she stepped out.  It stops he retires, min 68.