Who does something like this?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I read this article, and it made me absolutely ill.

 A woman goes on vacation for 10 days and leaves her 16 month old daughter in a playpen.  

www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ohio-mother-left-toddler-alone-went-vacation-sentenced-childs-murder-rcna143983

[giramomma]

Yeah. I saw that.

What bothers me even more than the mom's actions is from cnn's article:

www.cnn.com/2024/03/20/us/ohio-mom-toddler-death-sentencing-cec/index.html

A neighbor’s doorbell camera captured the 16-month old’s frequent screams, including one around 1 a.m. two days after her mother left.

Now, I'm not one one to immediately leap to call the police with an unattended child. But if the screams were loud, enough to be caught on camera, why wouldn't the neighbor have noticed that the mom hadn't been seen for two days and/or just called the cops for a well check visit? 

If you were a grandparent, wouldn't you intervene? Open up your mouth? Go to law enforcement and ask for emergency placement of a grandchild?

As for the rest. Honestly, I'm not going to sit there and pass judgement.

Because after I basically got as much sleep as a year as a resident doctor, I was petrified that I was going to leave the peanut somewhere when she was an infant. I was up 30+ hours like 2-3 times a week. A "Good" night of sleeping was getting about 4.5 hours of sleep, broken up in 1.5 hour chunks. It took me another year to be able to sleep 6 hours straight.

That level of long term sleep deprivation really, really screws with you.

And after that, I could absolutely see how a parent could forget about a child in a car. Or anywhere, for that matter.

Our family had the thing in July of 22.  I yelled loudly enough that DD1 got scared, and called her grandparents to come pick all the kids. It was a very, very bad weekend.  It was then, that I realized, exactly how bad my mental health had gotten. Yes, I wasn't a single mom of two kids. Going through covid lockdowns for 18 months, having my dad die, dealing with my mom as a stressor, and having cancer. That did me in. 

I didn't know how badly of a state I was in until then. Because you just have to keep pushing, pushing, pushing until you get through to the other side.

I see how March of 20-Dec of 21 affected me. And I had a partner. I had resources.  I had tools in the toolbox. 

I live in a big enough city that offers respite care for parents of kids. Like, that woman could have drove her kiddos to a non-religious, gov't run crisis center. Her kids would have been taken care of by professional caregivers, and the woman could have gotten the help she needs. Not all cities offer that. 

The kid was failed by more than just her mom. Her mom took the rap for everyone's failure. 

It's surprising that in 2024, we still do not recognize the damage an untreated, mentally ill mother can do. It has always been like that. 

[Tennesseer]

How cruel.  There is zero excuse for the child's death.  She could at least have asked her family to take care of the child.

From giramomma's link:

“Just as you didn’t let Jailyn out of her confinement until she died, so too you should spend the rest of your life in a cell without freedom,” Sheehan said. “The only difference is that prison will at least feed you.”

Yes.

[raeoflyte]

Mar 21, 2024 7:08:57 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Yeah. I saw that.

What bothers me even more than the mom's actions is from cnn's article:

www.cnn.com/2024/03/20/us/ohio-mom-toddler-death-sentencing-cec/index.html

A neighbor’s doorbell camera captured the 16-month old’s frequent screams, including one around 1 a.m. two days after her mother left.

Now, I'm not one one to immediately leap to call the police with an unattended child. But if the screams were loud, enough to be caught on camera, why wouldn't the neighbor have noticed that the mom hadn't been seen for two days and/or just called the cops for a well check visit? 

If you were a grandparent, wouldn't you intervene? Open up your mouth? Go to law enforcement and ask for emergency placement of a grandchild?

As for the rest. Honestly, I'm not going to sit there and pass judgement.

Because after I basically got as much sleep as a year as a resident doctor, I was petrified that I was going to leave the peanut somewhere when she was an infant. I was up 30+ hours like 2-3 times a week. A "Good" night of sleeping was getting about 4.5 hours of sleep, broken up in 1.5 hour chunks. It took me another year to be able to sleep 6 hours straight.

That level of long term sleep deprivation really, really screws with you.

And after that, I could absolutely see how a parent could forget about a child in a car. Or anywhere, for that matter.

Our family had the thing in July of 22.  I yelled loudly enough that DD1 got scared, and called her grandparents to come pick all the kids. It was a very, very bad weekend.  It was then, that I realized, exactly how bad my mental health had gotten. Yes, I wasn't a single mom of two kids. Going through covid lockdowns for 18 months, having my dad die, dealing with my mom as a stressor, and having cancer. That did me in. 

I didn't know how badly of a state I was in until then. Because you just have to keep pushing, pushing, pushing until you get through to the other side.

I see how March of 20-Dec of 21 affected me. And I had a partner. I had resources.  I had tools in the toolbox. 

I live in a big enough city that offers respite care for parents of kids. Like, that woman could have drove her kiddos to a non-religious, gov't run crisis center. Her kids would have been taken care of by professional caregivers, and the woman could have gotten the help she needs. Not all cities offer that. 

The kid was failed by more than just her mom. Her mom took the rap for everyone's failure. 

It's surprising that in 2024, we still do not recognize the damage an untreated, mentally ill mother can do. It has always been like that. 

This is compassionate and accurate. Many more people failed her than just her mom. We need so much more support for moms than what this country/society provides and expects.

But there is a difference when you leave your kid alone with no plan to go on vacation for 10 days. That takes choice and reasoning. I also read that she had another child, but not where that child was. Unless she had lost custody of the other one, she made a plan for her other child to be taken care of.

I don't disagree that this mom needed help, but I also think this is more than exhaustion and mental health.

[Artemis Windsong]

A call for a welfare check is always acceptable.

Edit:  Who paid for the vacation to Detroit and Puerto Rico?  Not cheap.

[Tiny]

Mar 21, 2024 7:08:57 GMT -5 giramomma said:

The kid was failed by more than just her mom. Her mom took the rap for everyone's failure. 

It's surprising that in 2024, we still do not recognize the damage an untreated, mentally ill mother can do. It has always been like that. 

When I read about this yesterday that was my reaction as well. What happened was horrible and awful - but says more about the failure of our society than anything else.

I think we as a society do recognize the damage an untreated, mentally ill mother (or other family member can do) but if they can't pay for the help they need then too bad for them and their family.

We've got that "Every man for himself" attitude going. It's your own fault if you are poor or undereducated or sick or anything else. It's all about responsibility.

But then there's the "Family first" attitude - which means it's the family's fault (grandparents/uncles/aunts) because you are suppose to "take care of your own" - well, I guess unless you've disowned them OR they have disowned you (to get away from your toxicity) but still can't make it on their own OR their mental health has driven them away.

So who do we blame?  The mother? the extended family?  the neighbors?  Society?    And why do we even need to "blame" someone - as if that somehow makes what happened  right. 

[happyhoix]

An article I read said she’d been in a mental health hospital several months before.

It’s tragic this poor child didn’t have a grandparent or other relative to take her in, when the mom was clearly struggling. And where was dad and his family?

Mom might have been hard to deal with. She may have cut off her family members (or they cut her off) but someone should have intervened for the baby.

Not sure life in jail is the best option for her but at least she won’t be able to get pregnant again, so it prevents more tiny victims.