How can I help my poor cat

[happyhoix]

Mar 18, 2024 6:01:12 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Mar 18, 2024 5:23:00 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

This morning was a good morning! Started out bad - had a panic attack and had to get up at 4:30 AM to go sit in the living room, but that turned into an opportunity to sit quietly with Big Boy. He darted upstairs when I first came out of the downstairs master bedroom, but the way to his heart is through his stomach, I’ve figured out. I got some of those lockable treats for the Maine Coon and she sat on the coffee table eating those while he snuck downstairs and checked that out. He wouldn’t get close enough to lick them himself, but I put some in a bowl and set it on the floor near us, then just sat quietly on the sofa and let him eat that, then he got bold enough to jump on the coffee table himself, then onto the arm of the sofa. I noticed he was ‘making bread’ with his front paws and purring - so I slowly reached over and started rubbing his ears.

Big boy suddenly blossomed - he started aggressively rubbing his head against my hand, arching his back, purring, even doing little love nips to my hand. First time he volunteered to let me pet him!!!

Now he’s backed off again and won’t come over to me - but he’s sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room, still a little tightly wound but not hiding. We’re getting there!! Need to upload a picture, he’s really an attractive big white poof.

That's great news and progress! I'm happy for you.
Keep up the good work!

Well, he’s back under the bed in the master bedroom. I pushed a cat bed under there a while back and that’s become his safe space. I don’t think he feels comfortable enough sleeping out ‘in the open” yet. 

Little steps…. 

He tried to approach the Maine Coon this morning to sniff her face. She laid back her ears and released an enormous hiss. Pretty bold since she’s half his size - but she’s always been the House Princess. She’s never been especially close with the two previous cats we had, so I don’t expect her to warm up to Big Boy, but she won’t smack him, and so far he has shown high levels of fear/flight but zero amounts of fight, so I don’t think he’ll be aggressive with her, and that’s all that matters.

[toomuchreality]

At least he came out and explored the possibility. If he did it once, he's likely to do it again, if given the opportunity. It's what he wants, I believe.

[TheOtherMe]

Treats motivate him.  Use that to your advantage.

[thyme4change]

Mar 18, 2024 9:18:25 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

Mar 18, 2024 6:01:12 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

That's great news and progress! I'm happy for you.
Keep up the good work!

Well, he’s back under the bed in the master bedroom. I pushed a cat bed under there a while back and that’s become his safe space. I don’t think he feels comfortable enough sleeping out ‘in the open” yet. 

Little steps…. 

He tried to approach the Maine Coon this morning to sniff her face. She laid back her ears and released an enormous hiss. Pretty bold since she’s half his size - but she’s always been the House Princess. She’s never been especially close with the two previous cats we had, so I don’t expect her to warm up to Big Boy, but she won’t smack him, and so far he has shown high levels of fear/flight but zero amounts of fight, so I don’t think he’ll be aggressive with her, and that’s all that matters.

Get an enclosed cat bed of some sort (it should look like a box, with a top) and place the opening facing a wall. Take the cat bed from under the bed and put it inside the box. Leave just enough room for the cat to slither in between the wall and the box to get in the opening. Move it an inch every day to be further away from the bed.

[nittanycheme]

I had a cat that I adopted as a 6 month old feral kitten.  She never became a lap cat, but she definitely liked to hang out with me.  She never liked getting petted, but she LOVED to be brushed and furminated.

I follow some cat posters and shelters on facebook and instragram, and some of them show how they help socialize feral cats.  There is one rescue in Minnesota that actually specializes in feral cats - they have a giant indoor room and outdoor catio with hundreds of feral cats.  They have open house hours everyday to invite people in to help socialize the cats, and when they become friendly enough, people will adopt them.  Furball Farm.  There are also other fosters that post and show how they socialize feral/scared cats.  If you do a search (or even mention it in your phone's presence), they will probably show up on your feed. 

You can also try the feliaway spray/plug-ins.  One of my friends fosters cats, and she says it (or one of its competitors) can really help calm the cats, and help with cat introductions. 

[weltz]

Mar 22, 2024 9:39:02 GMT -5 nittanycheme said:

I had a cat that I adopted as a 6 month old feral kitten.  She never became a lap cat, but she definitely liked to hang out with me.  She never liked getting petted, but she LOVED to be brushed and furminated.

I follow some cat posters and shelters on facebook and instragram, and some of them show how they help socialize feral cats.  There is one rescue in Minnesota that actually specializes in feral cats - they have a giant indoor room and outdoor catio with hundreds of feral cats.  They have open house hours everyday to invite people in to help socialize the cats, and when they become friendly enough, people will adopt them.  Furball Farm.  There are also other fosters that post and show how they socialize feral/scared cats.  If you do a search (or even mention it in your phone's presence), they will probably show up on your feed. 

You can also try the feliaway spray/plug-ins.  One of my friends fosters cats, and she says it (or one of its competitors) can really help calm the cats, and help with cat introductions. 

Sushi was never feral but he never became a lap cat. He adores me, has to be in bodily contact with me at all times, but a lap was not his favourite place to be. Couldn't even coax him onto my lap with Cat Crack.
He goes into orgasmic throes of joy when he's brushed.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Strangely, Gizzy was never a lap cat until my nightmare.  Then he lived on me 23.5/7.  After I recovered, he never reverted, but became a lap cat.  

[TheOtherMe]

Maddow and Amelia cling to me so much that there are times when I just want them to leave me alone.

[happyhoix]

So we’ve had some big changes in Big Boy. Our current routine is that he emerges from under the bed every morning for an hour or so. He spends around 15 minutes on the sofa with me, displaying what can only be explained as ‘aggressive affection.’ He clings onto my arm, wrapping his front paws around my arm, butting his head against me, my hand, the coffee cup in my hand, etc. He rolls and writhes, begging for belly rubs, and sometimes getting a little feisty and doing little nips. The sofa cushions are already covered in long white hairs. Then he goes back under the bed for daytime naps. In the evening, he comes back out and repeats the morning activities. Lately he has been staying out longer each time and engaging in play - he seems to really like yarn balls, which he usually ends up carrying to either the water bowl or the food bowl and laying them inside.

He almost never goes upstairs anymore, except when he starts racing up and down the stairs for fun.

He is still spooked at DH, when DH gets up and walks around (he’s ok when DH sits in a chair in the living room).

He is not yet confident enough to sleep in my lap - he does all his sleeping under the bed - but I think he will get over that in time. He does get sleepy and has gotten onto the back of the sofa and rested on my shoulder/neck so I think it’s just a matter of time.

The last big thing to conquer - he hasn’t figured out the cat door to the screened porch. I’ve opened the main door and he’s gone out there, but seems to be intimidated about being outside, even though he’s screened in. Our porch is on a slope, so almost two stories off the ground on one side, and has a cat tree on that side of the porch, which gives cats a wonderful view of the sloping yard and woods behind - it’s where the Maine Coon practically lives when the weather is warm - so I think Big Boy will enjoy it, once he understand how the cat door works. When it gets warmer, I’ll prop the flaps open with cans so he gets the hang of passing through them. A little too chilly to do that now.

He also has a name - I love the old Thin Man movies with Myrna Lloyd — especially their Airedale dog Asta. I looked up that name and found out it’s a girls’ name, but also found this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asta_(Black_Clover)#:~:text=Asta%20was%20originally%20created%20as,his%20creator%20Yūki%20Tabata's.

Asta Staria is a boy manga character who has white spiky hair, just like Big Boy - so he’s now Asta. Of course it doesn’t matter, cats usually know what their name is but choice to ignore you when you use it.

[toomuchreality]

Glad to hear it! Congrats on a job well done!

[TheOtherMe]

I think he is very close to falling asleep in your lap.  

I had a male cat who was afraid of all men for his entire life.  He was found in a dumpster with his litter.  He had a health problem later on and there was a BB in his little body.  The vet said a man probably did all of that to him.

[weltz]

Mar 24, 2024 16:54:32 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I think he is very close to falling asleep in your lap.  

I had a male cat who was afraid of all men for his entire life.  He was found in a dumpster with his litter.  He had a health problem later on and there was a BB in his little body.  The vet said a man probably did all of that to him.

The big white cat, CousCous, that I inherited from my mother was terrified of men and their shoes, throughout his life. My mom found him in the woods, fighting with raccoons over bits of dismembered squirrel.

Men!!

[happyhoix]

Now that Asta has become social, I’ve discovered new features.

He can easily leap up onto the kitchen and bathroom counter tops.

All small items on the kitchen and bathroom countertops must be yeeted to the floor.

If dinner is not being uncanned and plated fast enough, visits to the bowl on the counter top and snatching food from the bowl if possible is allowed, because he is STARVING.

Love nips

Arm hugs

Yarn balls are fantastic, especially when you can get the end lose and weave a complex new age art project through out the living and dining room furniture. Overnight is best, the better to surprise the humans in the morning.

Affection is shown by waiting until someone has a hot beverage in a mug and is trying to navigate that to her mouth while sitting on the sofa- either ram the bottom of the mug with your head or take a good whack at it with your big manly paw - points awarded for how much hot beverage spills.

When anyone seems cross, blink languidly with your baby blues - except if it’s the Maine Coon, who does not tolerate nonsense.

[TheOtherMe]

Asta is home.

[toomuchreality]

Mar 28, 2024 13:12:49 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

Now that Asta has become social, I’ve discovered new features.

He can easily leap up onto the kitchen and bathroom counter tops.

All small items on the kitchen and bathroom countertops must be yeeted to the floor.

If dinner is not being uncanned and plated fast enough, visits to the bowl on the counter top and snatching food from the bowl if possible is allowed, because he is STARVING.

Love nips

Arm hugs

Yarn balls are fantastic, especially when you can get the end lose and weave a complex new age art project through out the living and dining room furniture. Overnight is best, the better to surprise the humans in the morning.

Affection is shown by waiting until someone has a hot beverage in a mug and is trying to navigate that to her mouth while sitting on the sofa- either ram the bottom of the mug with your head or take a good whack at it with your big manly paw - points awarded for how much hot beverage spills.

When anyone seems cross, blink languidly with your baby blues - except if it’s the Maine Coon, who does not tolerate nonsense.

If you weren't already (you were, I think), consider yourself owned! 😁
I'm glad Asta has decided he's home now. ♡

[Ava]

This thread is so sweet. I'm so happy you could help this cat.

Im going to start a cat thread of my own, because I'm having "cat problems", too.
It's possible I can be helped by this group.

[happyhoix]

Ok I was finally going to post a photo of Asta and have been looking for directions on how to post a pic - I understand I need a URL link, and saw the Photobucket Fiasco posts from 2017, but can’t find a current site? Any suggestions?

[toomuchreality]

Mar 31, 2024 20:06:19 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

Ok I was finally going to post a photo of Asta and have been looking for directions on how to post a pic - I understand I need a URL link, and saw the Photobucket Fiasco posts from 2017, but can’t find a current site? Any suggestions?

Not from me. Sorry.
Although I have posted from FB before.

[finnime]

happyhoix, upload your pic to Imgur.com. Then right click on the image and choose Copy image address. Go to YMAM, select insert image and paste the address in the image URL, then name it in description. Post.

Or, you can send it to me and I'll post it, it's no problem.

[happyhoix]

Apr 1, 2024 7:04:55 GMT -5 finnime said:

happyhoix, upload your pic to Imgur.com. Then right click on the image and choose Copy image address. Go to YMAM, select insert image and paste the address in the image URL, then name it in description. Post.

Or, you can send it to me and I'll post it, it's no problem.

Thanks I’ll try this this evening!

Asta has a nickname - Asta the Disaster. This morning started with poop smears on the floor from a chunk stuck to his big fluffy tail and then waved all around- big kurfuffel trying to pin him down to wipe that off. Then he engaged in his habit of ‘burrowing’ under and over all the throw pillows on the couch before getting zoomies up and down the stairs and then trying to knock off the coffee table with his big ass paws. Had to take everything off the coffee table.

This took about half an hour, then he calmed down a bit, found a favorite yarn ball and carried it all around the house for a bit (which was adorable and made me forget about the poop tail) before it was First Nap time.

I’ve forgotten how energetic young cats can be.

[happyhoix]

ios.imgur.com/?link=https://imgur.com&isi=639881495&ibi=imgurmobile&cid=7221637046358871898&_fpb=CJsFEPcCGgVlbi1VUw==&_cpt=cpit&_iumenbl=1&_iumchkactval=1&_plt=331&_uit=2068&_cpb=1&_icp=1

[happyhoix]

Apr 9, 2024 18:56:51 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

ios.imgur.com/?link=https://imgur.com&isi=639881495&ibi=imgurmobile&cid=7221637046358871898&_fpb=CJsFEPcCGgVlbi1VUw==&_cpt=cpit&_iumenbl=1&_iumchkactval=1&_plt=331&_uit=2068&_cpb=1&_icp=1

I don’t think I did this right?

[Opti]

Copy starting with https:// until the end and paste that into where it says link when you click on the image tile.

[finnime]

happyhoix, you need to: Right mouse click on the image itself once you've uploaded, then Copy image address to paste into the Insert image Image URL.

[happyhoix]

So now I have a little blue box. Sigh. 

[happyhoix]

Wow that came out big!!

Big Asta.

I’ve got a vet visit lined up for him. He keeps those grungy eyes all the time, not sure if it’s allergies or what. Also needs his shots.

Been dreading it because he will absolutely loose his shit when I zip him into the soft side carrier I got him. He’s strong enough he might muscle his way out of the carrier.

[notagain]

He's darling!!does he have a sibling?

[soupandstew]

He is gorgeous and your poop tail story was hilarious.  

[TheOtherMe]

He is gorgeous

[happyhoix]

Apr 10, 2024 19:05:37 GMT -5 notagain said:

He's darling!!does he have a sibling?

He does, the shelter lady showed me a photo of him, he’s magnificent - big poofy cat like Asta but jet black, with an intimidating stare. Gorgeous. I hope he also finds a forever home.