People sharing what was found on a deceased relatives passin

[Artemis Windsong]

When my brother passed.  In the bottom dresser drawer we found blasting caps and dynamite.  The bomb squad was called.

[haapai]

When my grandfather passed, we found gallons of honey that his father had harvested forty years earlier.  The kids divided up the dark and crystalized stuff.  It had to be heated up in a water bath on the stove to melt the crystals and it tended to re-crystalize after every heating.  It took the kids a decade to use it all up. 

The bee-keeping suit and smoker was easy to give away.  Apparently, the technology had not changed much.

The eighty years of National Geographics are in my parents storage unit.  My grandfather died almost 30 years ago. 

[djAdvocate]

upon mother's death, discovered that she had an out of wedlock child who was adopted out.

[haapai]

We also found a rusty muskrat trap with a tag attached to it indicating that it belonged to the father of the guy that owned the local hardware store.  My grandfather had probably found it in his swamp a decade or three earlier.  He probably had not wanted to anger the owner or his family so he just kept it.  We set it out with the other muskrat traps at the garage sale but nobody bought it (the other traps went quickly).  Finally, my dad took it to the hardware store and returned with a knitted hunter-orange hat. 

I never asked my dad whether he was given the hat as a peace exchange or whether he bought it.  That family was rich and grumpy, so he might have both returned the trap and bought the hat. 

[chiver78]

I can't easily share this meme from my friend's kind of locked down FB page. but it said "PSA for millennials and Gen Z. As Gen X starts to pass away, resist the urge to view unlabelled VHS cassettes." 




after my Nana passed, we were all clearing out her closets one weekend. my mother found the film ring from my grandparents trips early in their marriage. glad it was her and not me.....my engineer's brain had already given up on trying to figure out how 4'11 Nana and 6'3 Papa ever made it work logistically. lol... no way I wanted to see the scientific evidence....we're alive, that's enough proof it's possible. 

[resolution]

When my grandmother passed away, she had $10,000 in her purse. She grew up during the depression and always carried around cash in case the banks failed.

[haapai]

I suspect that when my mother passes, we may discover that she had a child in her teens who was adopted by another family member. 

I'm kinda terrified.  My mother was quite young, so the odds that the father was a member of her family or the uncle that adopted the child are quite high.  If that cousin outlives my mom and wants to do any genetic testing, we will get a genetic counselor involved. 

[plugginaway22]

My Father in law's wallet had a hand written and dated IOU for $2000. He had loaned the money to someone we all knew. It was awkward seeing the guy after FIL died.

[haapai]

I'm rather shocked that I'm not hearing more stories about drugs, pornography and "toys" being found.  Maybe those are easier to dispose of responsibly than dynamite and blasting caps. 

[azucena]

We packed up my dad's stuff in a hurry as he didn't have much bc he was living in a travel trailer and majorly downsized. We waited almost a year to go thru the momentos. Found some juicy letters and pics from his time in Vietnam including several from/of the local girls.

[Tennesseer]

I may have mentioned the below on the depression thread last year when my brother comitted suicide after being treated for depression all his adult life.  Not something found in a drawer, or a wallet.  But posted on the Memories and Condolences section of his on-line obituary:

Dearest Ed, it saddens me to say farewell. On January 10,1971 we shared an unbearable loss. A love never to nurture. And now 52 years to the day you took journey to Heaven for peaceful rest and comfort. Welcomed with open loving arms from a Little Angel. I´m heart broken. You were a sweet gentle soul so many wish they could be. A true friend .

My condolences to your daughters and their families.

You are cherished.

Karen

Karen posted it on the day of his funeral services. All brother's family and friends, friends who had known him since nursery school had no idea who Karen was. We his immediate family had no idea who Karen was. My niece, Ed's older daughter posted a reply on the Memories and Condolences section asking Karen to call her. Karen called her and told my neice she had miscarried. Karen said they were friends during high school years and a a bit beyond but did not attend the same high school.

I imagine we would have learned about Karen and the pregnancy had it gone full term and lived. But because she miscarried, there was no reason for Ed to even bring it up to others.

Strange time though to drop a bomb like that on his family.

[TheOtherMe]

This is why all of my personal diaries have been burned.  No one will ever see them.  As I read them, they were my personal thoughts about myself and relationships.

I had done a DNA test.  Just before Christmas I confirmed this is another daughter of my dad's.  I have a half sister and she told me that she had never done a DNA test so we have another sister.  I was surprised that the person who was most upset was a grandson.  My grandpa wouldn't do that.  Well, he did.

He couldn't get in to the military during WWII and he thought if he just kept trying in other parts of the country, some military branch was taken.  So he hitchhiked all over the country.  

I do think he never knew about this daughter.  He didn't stick around places very long so he may never have been told.  He married a woman when he knew the marriage would fail and it did fail.

[NastyWoman]

After my dad passed away my brothers went looking for the pocket watch dad had inherited from his father. They both wanted that watch but we never found out how they would have settled this. When the watch was found we discovered a very loving inscription from a woman who was not our grandmother. The inscription was dated and clearly from the time he was married to my grandmother. He had told everyone it was a work anniversary gift. We don't know if our grandmother ever opened that watch -she became a widow with 5 very young children less than a year before WWII. 
Whether she knew or not, neither brother, nor any of us girls, had any interest in the watch after that discovery so the watch was donated. Did he have any kids with that other woman? Did she and/or those (potential) children survive the war? Who knows and none of us were truly interested enough to try and figure this out. Sleeping dogs and all that...

ETA: prior to this thread I hadn't thought about that watch and its implications for decades.

[andi9899]

Jan 25, 2024 13:12:59 GMT -5 resolution said:

When my grandmother passed away, she had $10,000 in her purse. She grew up during the depression and always carried around cash in case the banks failed.

My garndpa had a bunch of cashed stashed around the house too. This is probably why. My uncle almost threw a box away assuming it was trash, but looked in it anyway. There was $4K in it. I don't know how much was found in total, but it was several thousand.

[TheOtherMe]

Mom had told us before they sold their house that there was cash in various places.  Of course she wouldn't tell us why.  I know when she wanted to give us money and not let dad find out, she would go to her bedroom.  I don't know where the money was in their bedroom.

I hope she remembered the money when they sold the house.

We had to look for money when dad moved because he didn't remember where he put it and I had found some in a different place than where it was kept.  It was the Dairy Queen gift cards that were ridiculous.  He always told us he needed more.  He had over $600 worth of Dairy Queen gift cards in his apartment.  

[empress of self-improvement]

I had to make sure to throw away the box of condoms in the bathroom, the copy of the Kama Sutra and the Playboys my dad had in a bureau drawer. I was always nosy so I knew all about them. My sister, not so much. She also got a surprise when finding out our grandmother had a different father than her sisters. I only knew because, again nosy af, I read her paperwork after my dad had picked up her ashes.

[wvugurl26]

According to my aunt, there are letters from several women to my grandpa in a file cabinet drawer. He passed away in 2016. We don't know why grandma doesn't throw them out. I think my aunt said she was 19 when she first met a "girlfriend". I was an adult and he had passed when I first heard these stories.

I myself believe in leaving sleeping dogs alone and refuse to do a DNA test. My brother went and did it and the first one said our aunt might be a relative. Meanwhile it was matching him to 5th and 6th cousins that I can only guess are related to our biological grandmother that I've neve seen in my life.

Along with my brother and sleeping dogs, he pulled up our great grandmother's obituary. There's a 7th child mentioned that I've never met in my life. I was reasonably close as a child to grandpa's 5 siblings and still have contact with his remaining living sister. The best my Google skills could come up with is there was a third husband not mentioned in the obituary that I never heard about.

[Tennesseer]

I didn't know my mother had a half-brother until I was in my early thirties.  

Background.  My maternal grandfather was previously married and had a son before he married my grandmother.  After my grandmother married my grandfather around 1922, she was not happy for some I unknown reason and was thinking about divorce.  At the same time, she found herself pregnant with her first child, my mother.

Being pregnant stopped my grandmother from getting a divorce and silently blamed my mother for her unhappy life.  My grandmother treated my mother like shit almost her whole life.

My mother knew about her half-brother.  But apparently, my grandmother did not want her grandchildren to know about this half-brother/uncle.  So we didn't find out about him until we were in our thirties.

Later in life my mother visited her half-brother and his family.  Pleasant visit.

Coincidentally, both my mother and her half-brother both died suffering from late stage Alzheimer's disease.

Coincidentally, their paternal grandfather died in 1899 in a mental institution.   Probably had Alzheimer's disease.  Just didn't a name for his mental illness back in 1899.

[TheOtherMe]

Jan 31, 2024 22:00:21 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

According to my aunt, there are letters from several women to my grandpa in a file cabinet drawer. He passed away in 2016. We don't know why grandma doesn't throw them out. I think my aunt said she was 19 when she first met a "girlfriend". I was an adult and he had passed when I first heard these stories.

I myself believe in leaving sleeping dogs alone and refuse to do a DNA test. My brother went and did it and the first one said our aunt might be a relative. Meanwhile it was matching him to 5th and 6th cousins that I can only guess are related to our biological grandmother that I've neve seen in my life.

Along with my brother and sleeping dogs, he pulled up our great grandmother's obituary. There's a 7th child mentioned that I've never met in my life. I was reasonably close as a child to grandpa's 5 siblings and still have contact with his remaining living sister. The best my Google skills could come up with is there was a third husband not mentioned in the obituary that I never heard about.

In my genealogy research, I have turned up more marriages for many of my aunts and uncles than I ever knew about.  I also found out that two cousins were not fathered by my uncle but were brought in to the marriage with my aunt.  The uncle is my blood relation.  I always thought he had 3 children.  He only has one biological children unless there are some in Europe that he fathered during WWII.

[Pink Cashmere]

For my biological father’s church family where he’d gone for years, and I don’t know who else, my brother and I were the surprise. I don’t even know if all of their family and friends knew about me and my brother.

I’d only ever met the sister that’s my age, when we ran into each on campus our first year of college. We all knew about each other since I was around 9 or 10yo, but were never around each other. There is an older sister and a younger sister that is the same age as my brother. Their Mom and our father lived together when we were all born. They got married some years later and stayed married until he died.

They all insisted that my brother and I ride in the limo with them and sit with them at the funeral. I would’ve been fine staying out of the way, driving myself and sitting in the back of the church somewhere, but they were adamant that we sit where we were “supposed” to. When our oldest sister spoke, she said something about her sister and brother (me and my brother). I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was publicly acknowledging us. 

I was slightly amused by the confusion on some people’s faces before and after the service, and at the cemetery. My brother looks just like our father, walks like him, and has his mannerisms. Which is amazing to me, because he didn’t help raise us. But anyway, it would’ve been difficult to deny who he was to people that knew our father. 

His wife was very gracious and introduced us to everybody that approached her when we were near, as his son and daughter. With no hesitation, and as if it wasn’t odd lol. That is when some people had trouble hiding their shock. We were clearly the same age range as the children they already knew about, especially since my brother and the youngest sister are about 8 years younger than me and the middle sister.

Before he died, the only times I’d ever heard his wife’s voice was when I was around 7 or 8yo and she use to call our house and scream and curse out whoever answered the phone, even if it was me.

[resolution]

Feb 1, 2024 11:35:51 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

For my biological father’s church family where he’d gone for years, and I don’t know who else, my brother and I were the surprise. I don’t even know if all of their family and friends knew about me and my brother.

I’d only ever met the sister that’s my age, when we ran into each on campus our first year of college. We all knew about each other since I was around 9 or 10yo, but were never around each other. There is an older sister and a younger sister that is the same age as my brother. Their Mom and our father lived together when we were all born. They got married some years later and stayed married until he died.

They all insisted that my brother and I ride in the limo with them and sit with them at the funeral. I would’ve been fine staying out of the way, driving myself and sitting in the back of the church somewhere, but they were adamant that we sit where we were “supposed” to. When our oldest sister spoke, she said something about her sister and brother (me and my brother). I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was publicly acknowledging us. 

I was slightly amused by the confusion on some people’s faces before and after the service, and at the cemetery. My brother looks just like our father, walks like him, and has his mannerisms. Which is amazing to me, because he didn’t help raise us. But anyway, it would’ve been difficult to deny who he was to people that knew our father. 

His wife was very gracious and introduced us to everybody that approached her when we were near, as his son and daughter. With no hesitation, and as if it wasn’t odd lol. That is when some people had trouble hiding their shock. We were clearly the same age range as the children they already knew about, especially since my brother and the youngest sister are about 8 years younger than me and the middle sister.

Before he died, the only times I’d ever heard his wife’s voice was when I was around 7 or 8yo and she use to call our house and scream and curse out whoever answered the phone, even if it was me.

I don't get why the older generation acts like no one has morals these days, when they were just as bad if not worse than us.

When my grandmother was growing up, her mom decided she couldn't afford all of her kids, so she stuck the youngest boy in an orphanage. When my grandmother was 15, her mom tried to force her to marry a rich old man, and when my grandmother refused, she was told it was her fault that her brother was stuck in the orphanage. She needed to leave so he could come home. The boy was told the same thing. She ended up running away with her high school boyfriend so her brother could come home, but of course he was never brought home. He aged out of the orphanage and ended up robbing banks with his girlfriend until he was killed.

[resolution]

Feb 1, 2024 11:35:51 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

For my biological father’s church family where he’d gone for years, and I don’t know who else, my brother and I were the surprise. I don’t even know if all of their family and friends knew about me and my brother.

I’d only ever met the sister that’s my age, when we ran into each on campus our first year of college. We all knew about each other since I was around 9 or 10yo, but were never around each other. There is an older sister and a younger sister that is the same age as my brother. Their Mom and our father lived together when we were all born. They got married some years later and stayed married until he died.

They all insisted that my brother and I ride in the limo with them and sit with them at the funeral. I would’ve been fine staying out of the way, driving myself and sitting in the back of the church somewhere, but they were adamant that we sit where we were “supposed” to. When our oldest sister spoke, she said something about her sister and brother (me and my brother). I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was publicly acknowledging us. 

I was slightly amused by the confusion on some people’s faces before and after the service, and at the cemetery. My brother looks just like our father, walks like him, and has his mannerisms. Which is amazing to me, because he didn’t help raise us. But anyway, it would’ve been difficult to deny who he was to people that knew our father. 

His wife was very gracious and introduced us to everybody that approached her when we were near, as his son and daughter. With no hesitation, and as if it wasn’t odd lol. That is when some people had trouble hiding their shock. We were clearly the same age range as the children they already knew about, especially since my brother and the youngest sister are about 8 years younger than me and the middle sister.

Before he died, the only times I’d ever heard his wife’s voice was when I was around 7 or 8yo and she use to call our house and scream and curse out whoever answered the phone, even if it was me.

I'm sorry that you went through that. It must have been horrible to have her yelling at you like that for no reason.

[Pink Cashmere]

Feb 1, 2024 11:51:03 GMT -5 resolution said:

Feb 1, 2024 11:35:51 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

For my biological father’s church family where he’d gone for years, and I don’t know who else, my brother and I were the surprise. I don’t even know if all of their family and friends knew about me and my brother.

I’d only ever met the sister that’s my age, when we ran into each on campus our first year of college. We all knew about each other since I was around 9 or 10yo, but were never around each other. There is an older sister and a younger sister that is the same age as my brother. Their Mom and our father lived together when we were all born. They got married some years later and stayed married until he died.

They all insisted that my brother and I ride in the limo with them and sit with them at the funeral. I would’ve been fine staying out of the way, driving myself and sitting in the back of the church somewhere, but they were adamant that we sit where we were “supposed” to. When our oldest sister spoke, she said something about her sister and brother (me and my brother). I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was publicly acknowledging us. 

I was slightly amused by the confusion on some people’s faces before and after the service, and at the cemetery. My brother looks just like our father, walks like him, and has his mannerisms. Which is amazing to me, because he didn’t help raise us. But anyway, it would’ve been difficult to deny who he was to people that knew our father. 

His wife was very gracious and introduced us to everybody that approached her when we were near, as his son and daughter. With no hesitation, and as if it wasn’t odd lol. That is when some people had trouble hiding their shock. We were clearly the same age range as the children they already knew about, especially since my brother and the youngest sister are about 8 years younger than me and the middle sister.

Before he died, the only times I’d ever heard his wife’s voice was when I was around 7 or 8yo and she use to call our house and scream and curse out whoever answered the phone, even if it was me.

I don't get why the older generation acts like no one has morals these days, when they were just as bad if not worse than us.

When my grandmother was growing up, her mom decided she couldn't afford all of her kids, so she stuck the youngest boy in an orphanage. When my grandmother was 15, her mom tried to force her to marry a rich old man, and when my grandmother refused, she was told it was her fault that her brother was stuck in the orphanage. She needed to leave so he could come home. The boy was told the same thing. She ended up running away with her high school boyfriend so her brother could come home, but of course he was never brought home. He aged out of the orphanage and ended up robbing banks with his girlfriend until he was killed.

That is horrible.

When my daughter was pregnant with my oldest grandchild at 20yo, her Dad and his parents tried to shame her, especially her grandparents. They told her she needed to ask her baby’s father to marry her, since he hadn’t asked her. I told her she better tf NOT!

I told her that everybody that was talking down to her and making her feel bad had done the same thing she did. Me and her Dad weren’t married when I got pregnant with her. We were married before she was born, but that’s not the point. Besides, we ended up divorced anyway. Her Grandmother wasn’t married when she had my ex husband. Her husband is not my ex’s biological father. And my children’s Grandfather, when my ex and I divorced, Grandpa still had adult children finding him, so he obviously had a past too. But they made my daughter feel bad for being pregnant and unmarried, to the point that she would cry about how they were making her feel, as if they hadn’t had children with people they weren’t married to when they were young. That pissed me off.

Of course having a baby so young is not the best idea, but I didn’t shame my daughter. I had real conversations with her about what her plans were and things like that, but no shaming. I also told her that being pregnant was not a reason to get married if they didn’t want to be married. And to ignore that bs from those other folks.

[Pink Cashmere]

Feb 1, 2024 11:52:51 GMT -5 resolution said:

Feb 1, 2024 11:35:51 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

For my biological father’s church family where he’d gone for years, and I don’t know who else, my brother and I were the surprise. I don’t even know if all of their family and friends knew about me and my brother.

I’d only ever met the sister that’s my age, when we ran into each on campus our first year of college. We all knew about each other since I was around 9 or 10yo, but were never around each other. There is an older sister and a younger sister that is the same age as my brother. Their Mom and our father lived together when we were all born. They got married some years later and stayed married until he died.

They all insisted that my brother and I ride in the limo with them and sit with them at the funeral. I would’ve been fine staying out of the way, driving myself and sitting in the back of the church somewhere, but they were adamant that we sit where we were “supposed” to. When our oldest sister spoke, she said something about her sister and brother (me and my brother). I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was publicly acknowledging us. 

I was slightly amused by the confusion on some people’s faces before and after the service, and at the cemetery. My brother looks just like our father, walks like him, and has his mannerisms. Which is amazing to me, because he didn’t help raise us. But anyway, it would’ve been difficult to deny who he was to people that knew our father. 

His wife was very gracious and introduced us to everybody that approached her when we were near, as his son and daughter. With no hesitation, and as if it wasn’t odd lol. That is when some people had trouble hiding their shock. We were clearly the same age range as the children they already knew about, especially since my brother and the youngest sister are about 8 years younger than me and the middle sister.

Before he died, the only times I’d ever heard his wife’s voice was when I was around 7 or 8yo and she use to call our house and scream and curse out whoever answered the phone, even if it was me.

I'm sorry that you went through that. It must have been horrible to have her yelling at you like that for no reason.

It was. Why is a grown woman screaming and cursing at me?

That was their mess, I should’ve been kept out of it. I’m pretty sure at such a young age, my voice made it clear that a child had answered the phone.

[wvugurl26]

For years my grandma on my dad's side would have comments about people having babies not being married or pregnant while getting married. It was in the last 3 or 4 years of her life that someone did the math. She was pregnant with my uncle when they got married.

I don't know why they act like that.

[TheOtherMe]

Both of my grandmothers talked the same way and both of them were pregnant when they got married and maternal grandmother already had a daughter without being married.

The story goes that her daddy went off to make the young man do the right thing.  They got in to a gun fight and her daddy got shot in the eye and was blinded in that eye.  Young man left the area never to be seen again.

I think Grandma was better off without that young man.

[Pink Cashmere]

Of course there were plenty of people in previous generations that did things of that nature, in the “proper” order, they got married as consenting adults, had children after marriage and only with their spouse, and treated each other and their children well.

But there were also a lot of people having children without being married, and/or outside of their marriages. Some husbands raised children they didn’t know weren’t biologically theirs, and some husbands had a whole ‘nother family with children, in the same neighborhood he lived in with his wife and their children. 

A guy I dated briefly before we figured out we were much better suited as just friends, when I mentioned his name to my family soon after I met him, my folks wanted to know if he was one of the “last name” family they kind of knew. It turned out that my Aunt went to school with his Mom. But the shocker (to me) was that his Grandfather was my Great Grandmother’s gentleman caller after my Great Grandfather died. My cousins, who are older than me, actually remembered him, Mr. “Last name”. My Great Grandfather died before I was born, and that was the first time I ever heard about any other man besides him and I have no memories of her ever seeing a man. I don’t know when all of this was going on or for how long. I didn’t want to know, because I couldn’t tell what I didn’t know lol.

My friend’s family was/is huge and close knit. He and his cousins still use to hang out at his Grandmother’s house regularly, and see about her, even after I met him. His Grandfather had been married to his Grandmother for forever, and until he died, before I met my friend. I still have never told him about his Grandfather and my Great Grandmother. If he and his family didn’t already know his Grandfather was unfaithful, I sure wasn’t going to be the one to tell it.

[TheOtherMe]

I found what I thought was a cousin I didn't know about.  The only person who could possible know the truth was my cousin.  I finally got up the courage to ask her and she told me the answer and then asked that I never ask her about this baby again.  

Baby girl was a product of an affair her mother had while her father (my uncle) was a sea.  He came home to a pregnant wife and the other guy was gone.  My uncle said they would make it work.  Baby didn't even live 24 hours.  He put his name on the death certificate and had her buried with a child of theirs in a military cemetery in California.  So I am not biologically related to Baby Girl.

My cousin said as soon as the baby died, my uncle left never to return and soon there was a divorce.

My cousin thinks her dad would have stayed in the marriage and raised the baby if the baby had lived.  She said that is who her dad was.