Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars

[lurkyloo]

Jan 15, 2024 19:08:43 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Jan 15, 2024 18:23:59 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I can't seem to find the post in either thread now, but I think lurkyloo summed up the OP's thoughts in the original thread.  Along the lines that men can't help themselves so women should not only expect that attitude but pander to it, but men don't need to keep themselves attractive for their partners.  

OP never responded to it that I saw either.  

Along with the title, its all a bunch of tired of BS.  Men can help themselves.  Women have just as many physical wants and desires as men.  

If you're not attracted to your partner to the point that you would hurt them, just leave.  Because what are the chances that if you're that unattracted to them that 1 superficial surgery is going to fix it?  There will always be something else.  Attraction isn't a given, but especially when we're talking about relationships that span years if not decades its not an on/off switch.  

I may have removed it as I cleaned up the thread. nothing is ever deleted, though. shoot me a PM for the keywords you're looking for, and I'll see what I can find for you. 😃

I believe the word “troll” featured heavily 

[chiver78]

Jan 15, 2024 19:20:33 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Jan 15, 2024 19:08:43 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I may have removed it as I cleaned up the thread. nothing is ever deleted, though. shoot me a PM for the keywords you're looking for, and I'll see what I can find for you. 😃

I believe the word “troll” featured heavily 

that it did... and those posts weren't at all wrong. 🤷‍♀️

I applaud those posters that held the CoC line. 👏👏👏 bc I'm gonna be honest, I had a novella written out, and then I realized it was gonna get yanked in its entirety. by not posting what I really wanted to say, I can still moderate this thread. 😉

-chiver mod

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

DH was ŕeally muscular when he was younger. He was HOT.

He's still good looking but obviously not at his 20 year old peak.

He was also a massive arrogant dick according to people who knew him then.

I wouldn't have dated him. Even He acknowledges it. Maybe a fun one night stand but I wouldn't have married him.

I am currently up to 10 tattoos and three piercings besides my ear lobes. DH doesn't care for either and likely wouldn't have dated me.

Yet here we are. I'm so much more than my tattoos. He's so much more than a dickhead with a six pack.

Compatibility has little to do with looks after a point. Science actually backs this up. Other things are more important long term.

I'd like to think by the time you're having kids you've reached the latter.

Only a sexist pig has children with a woman then bails once he sees what pregnancy and child birth can do.

I really wish men could get pregnant. Then we women can stand there telling them how unsexy they are and expect them to bounce back like nothing happened.

Then say we'll I have a right to what I find sexy. Since it's not you see ya!

Somehow I feel like there would be laws protecting men from that if the shoe was on the other foot

[andi9899]

Jan 15, 2024 13:04:28 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Jan 15, 2024 12:11:18 GMT -5 Opti said:

You realize your personal experience is very localized I hope. I have read the book you reference and several of the books by John Gray. I also read books from his first wife.


www.ebay.com/itm/392225289031?chn=ps&_trkparms=ispr%3D1&amdata=enc%3A1WdZUSHIxTy-a7erZ_bGGxw40&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-213727-13078-0&mkcid=2&itemid=392225289031&targetid=4581046492584087&device=c&mktype=&googleloc=&poi=&campaignid=603247544&mkgroupid=1239150598504493&rlsatarget=pla-4581046492584087&abcId=9316119&merchantid=51291&msclkid=c3b4747272a711937a8911d716e9b3fd

Attraction is a reaction that does not have to be acted on. (Opti) Any one can learn to modify or manage their attractions including men. Having the visual click in first is no excuse. Otherwise you should be out there supporting pedophiles because they can't help their attraction or rapists if you decide its OK for men or anyone in power to take without permission.

Who I was attracted to in my twenties and who I am attracted to in the recent past has evolved. In spite of men being visual creatures as you put it, many leave the high maintenance looks only woman for greener pastures after living with that type of person. So even for men, visual or not, it is not looks only. 

And gay men realize if much of your focus in on looks, you need to be very equivalent in many cases if its going to stick. And that's what you seem to be missing. Is it your programming? It wouldn't be surprising that a woman who got forced to have a bad body by the act of childbirth might be less attracted to a man who intentionally over drinks beer and develops a beer belly. Imagine, a person who wrecked their body by their own choice feels justified to exclaim how you are less attractive since your body got wrecked cuz childbirth. The woman's body is going to change during pregnancy and after. Despite the glossy magazine spreads it is not usual for one to return to a pre first pregnancy body. The celebs can pay trainers and get plastic surgery because they can afford it. Not in the cards for many other people with less funding and fewer resources.

I think people here are totally misunderstanding what I'm trying to say and quickly taking offense for nothing.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  That actually means something.

If I'm out by myself in public, I'm not going to be attracted to 100% of the women that are in the world.  It's not by choice at all!  Some of the posters here act like it's s choice to be attracted to someone.  If you can agree with that statement, then you must agree with the statement that that same woman can become attractive or unattractive over time.  It can go both ways.

It's literally NOT a choice how attractive we are to people.  We can't control it.  All I said about the husband of the OP was that he's not a scum bag for not being attracted to his spouse.  I then mentioned that I agree with him being a scumbag on how he delivered his message.

Didn't you get divorced recently? I'm beginning to understand why.

[Opti]

Jan 15, 2024 18:24:44 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jan 15, 2024 17:56:29 GMT -5 Opti said:

My midwestern values say you should walk and get the divorce. Then you can play with whomever. Lifetime marriage is great if you find a good enough one to go until death, but if you find you need to leave to save yourself, I personally think it's OK. I think ethically and spiritually its better than some Catholics who stay to together but think cheating or even killing your spouse is better than divorce. 

I must have missed that day in confirmation...

I grew up Lutheran not Catholic. I was shocked at some of the things that were OK with Catholics here in NJ. I have no idea what you are referencing with your comment. 

[raeoflyte]

Jan 15, 2024 21:04:38 GMT -5 Opti said:

Jan 15, 2024 18:24:44 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I must have missed that day in confirmation...

I grew up Lutheran not Catholic. I was shocked at some of the things that were OK with Catholics here in NJ. I have no idea what you are referencing with your comment. 

Confirmation classes are like bible study before youre confirmed in the church.

Ive heard all kinds of things about catholics from non-catholics. But if youre still wondering Adultery and murder aren't condoned by the catholic church.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jan 15, 2024 21:16:53 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jan 15, 2024 21:04:38 GMT -5 Opti said:

I grew up Lutheran not Catholic. I was shocked at some of the things that were OK with Catholics here in NJ. I have no idea what you are referencing with your comment. 

Confirmation classes are like bible study before youre confirmed in the church.

Ive heard all kinds of things about catholics from non-catholics. But if youre still wondering Adultery and murder aren't condoned by the catholic church.

Now I wish my mom was here so I could ask just to see the response I'd get. Probably wouldn't remember much after.🤣



I'm not Catholic myself but I don't remember either my mother or grandmother condoning adultery or murder. Methinks these are really outdated stereotypes and superstition about Catholicism.

[Sunnyday]

I would like to clarify that my marriage didn't end because of my stomach.

The marriage broke down because after years of slowing degrading, it just went off a cliff.

It was years of miscommunication and unmet needs. He would dismiss everything I thought and said, and then I would do it in turn because I felt hurt. He escalated and then I escalated. 

It was us just triggering each other, trying to prove that we were right and the other person wrong. It devolved into "tit for tat" behaviour. 

He indulged in asshole behaviour; I indulged in asshole behaviour.

Comments about my stomach was one of the many things that were said, it hit me in a sensitive spot because I agreed with my ex. I only mentioned the comment originally because I wanted to justify the surgery, which is clearly a luxury and not a necessity. I just wanted to explain why the surgery mattered so much to me.

Him saying I wasn't smart or financially savvy didn't hit me as hard because I knew it wasn't true. 

I've been crying really hard since I've read some of these posts, especially in the other thread.  Not because of what the poster wrote per se.  He did write 2 comments that echoed my ex's thoughts, and that triggered me into deep self reflection.  I cried because people that I've never met were having my back. I know some might have posted for a good fight or for their own beliefs, but for a second, I felt like people were on my side.  And it's been a very long time since I've had people on my side. Thank you.

This will be the last post I make about the subject; I guess I'm still emotional raw about the marriage. 

I'll keep posting my financial updates to keep me accountable though. 

[azucena]

Oh, there are several of us who have your back. Hope the cry was cathartic and looking fwd to watching you kick ass and take names on your life and financial journeys.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

It's one thing to open yourself up to YM about your finances and let the board go at it. That's part of posting it.

It's another to share something personal and have someone waltz into the thread to mansplain why what happened was perfectly logical and double down to the point of making another thread about it.

We got you sister. There is nothing in the COC saying someone can't be a dick but there is also nothing stopping me from clawing their eyes out as long as I stick to the rules myself.

[Opti]

Jan 15, 2024 21:16:53 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jan 15, 2024 21:04:38 GMT -5 Opti said:

I grew up Lutheran not Catholic. I was shocked at some of the things that were OK with Catholics here in NJ. I have no idea what you are referencing with your comment. 

Confirmation classes are like bible study before youre confirmed in the church.

Ive heard all kinds of things about catholics from non-catholics. But if youre still wondering Adultery and murder aren't condoned by the catholic church.

I know its not condoned by the Catholic church nor is abortion nor is having premarital sex. Yet self-professed Catholics seem to do all of these more than other Protestant denominations. The hypocrisy surprised me, but my town and church may have been very Lake Wobegon compared to the places I have lived here in NJ.

What I've noticed about some Catholics here, certainly far from all, appearance matters more than reality. If you divorce, everyone knows. But if you stay married you can pretend you are following the church's teachings while thinking your cheating is discreet. This at times extends to murder of disliked spouse where you pretend it was a scary black person or robbers, etc. 


Deleted some words so perhaps it can be more obvious to readers that I wrote absolutely nothing about the prevalence of murder among Catholics. Nor did I write anything about murders in various denominations. That's a whoever posted it thing. 

[Opti]

Feel better Sunnyday. Crying can be therapeutic. 

[raeoflyte]

Jan 15, 2024 21:53:03 GMT -5 azucena said:

Oh, there are several of us who have your back. Hope the cry was cathartic and looking fwd to watching you kick ass and take names on your life and financial journeys.

[raeoflyte]

Jan 15, 2024 22:00:55 GMT -5 Opti said:

Jan 15, 2024 21:16:53 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Confirmation classes are like bible study before youre confirmed in the church.

Ive heard all kinds of things about catholics from non-catholics. But if youre still wondering Adultery and murder aren't condoned by the catholic church.

I know its not condoned by the Catholic church nor is abortion nor is having premarital sex. Yet self-professed Catholics seem to do all of these more than other Protestant denominations. The hypocrisy surprised me, but my town and church may have been very Lake Wobegon compared to the places I have lived here in NJ.

What I've noticed about some Catholics here, certainly far from all, appearance matters more than reality. If you divorce, everyone knows. But if you stay married you can pretend you are following the church's teachings while thinking your cheating is discreet. This at times extends to murder of disliked spouse where you pretend it was a scary black person or robbers, etc. Again the hope and belief is one gets away with murder instead of divorcing and possibly becoming a pariah in your community. Things are changing so those of you considerably younger than me might see and experience this far less than I have. Having abortions and getting divorced have gotten more and more acceptable in the Catholic Church even though I believe it remains against church teachings.

I know you're going through a lot right now and I am not trying to pick on you.  I am also the last person to defend the catholic church.  The institution has Problems.  

But you're way with words is...hitting way differently than maybe you're intending.  Unless there really is a study out there supporting that catholics cheat and murder more than protestants...I'm going to call that bias.   

[Opti]

Jan 15, 2024 22:20:18 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jan 15, 2024 22:00:55 GMT -5 Opti said:

I know its not condoned by the Catholic church nor is abortion nor is having premarital sex. Yet self-professed Catholics seem to do all of these more than other Protestant denominations. The hypocrisy surprised me, but my town and church may have been very Lake Wobegon compared to the places I have lived here in NJ.

What I've noticed about some Catholics here, certainly far from all, appearance matters more than reality. If you divorce, everyone knows. But if you stay married you can pretend you are following the church's teachings while thinking your cheating is discreet. This at times extends to murder of disliked spouse where you pretend it was a scary black person or robbers, etc. Again the hope and belief is one gets away with murder instead of divorcing and possibly becoming a pariah in your community. Things are changing so those of you considerably younger than me might see and experience this far less than I have. Having abortions and getting divorced have gotten more and more acceptable in the Catholic Church even though I believe it remains against church teachings.

I know you're going through a lot right now and I am not trying to pick on you.  I am also the last person to defend the catholic church.  The institution has Problems.  

But you're way with words is...hitting way differently than maybe you're intending.  Unless there really is a study out there supporting that catholics cheat and murder more than protestants...I'm going to call that bias.   

My way with words is worse when I am under pressure, however some of my opinions are based on what I read.


Half of Christians say casual sex – defined in the survey as sex between consenting adults who are not in a committed romantic relationship – is sometimes or always acceptable. Six-in-ten Catholics (62%) take this view, as do 56% of Protestants in the historically Black tradition, 54% of mainline Protestants and 36% of evangelical Protestants.

This study is from 2020 Pew Research. 
www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/08/31/half-of-u-s-christians-say-casual-sex-between-consenting-adults-is-sometimes-or-always-acceptable/

Yes it is not a study of actual cheating just opinions but they usually go together. Have no desire to look for other supporting things I've read in the past. I did not say Catholics murder more than any denomination. I know you all are under more stress and tend to not read my words as written but skim them. So this happens every year like clockwork. It is why I prefer PM over YM because folks are more exact on what they write and say generally. Here it is more like work. I write a sentence, and some Catholics get offended because surely I must be wrong. But what if perhaps I am right? Especially in the small area of a state I think you and swamp do not even live in. I've been here almost 40 years. 

I read these studies because its something I have been doing since HS in Illinois. Since Trump my focus has been exploring Evangelicals, studies, actual church websites and those pastors who have been in the news. No surprise that these studies often include Catholics and Protestants in them.

[Opti]

It would be nice to get some support for the fact my dad is dying and has chosen to go out quickly by refusing IV hydration and antibiotics.
On Wednesday I was told I would not get the job. Thursday night I realized the person who got the job was actually picked before the job was posted on Winter Solstice. I had been stupidly trying to execute all the duties of that job well because we are short staffed. Thinking it mattered when it did not. Friday waiting for the bus home I found out my dad was in the hospital. Meanwhile that area was being trounced on by storm Gerri and it took until Sunday before I was able to get through to the hospital. It took until Monday to get to a nurse and actually talk with my dad. 

I have gotten some support. I think mostly from people my age or older. Thankfully they are not backhanding my experience by telling me they do have quibbles with what I wrote, but will try not to point it out too much. 

[WannabeWealthy]

Jan 15, 2024 15:19:11 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Jan 15, 2024 14:48:54 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Perhaps not in hindsight.  I was only trying to defend the name-calling.

I'll go back and sanity check this, but I didn't see any name-calling. if I had, I'd have offered a mod warning. just a lot of supportive posts, offering advice on what may be better first steps. and then here swoops in this condescending mansplainer, offering up why she was inadequate and her DH was right to divorce. somehow I don't think this thread is going as you'd expected, either. 

as someone said over there - if everyone else disagrees with you, perhaps it's time to reassess your opinion/attitude/presentation. just my two cents. 

-chiver mod

Can we be fair here?  I never mentioned the husband having the right to divorce her because of her weight.  Where did that assumption come from and why is it declared as something I said?  In fact, it was never mentioned the exact reason they got divorced.  

I only defended the "your husband is a shit head" comment (which is name-calling) for what I thought the husband being unattracted to his spouse.  I went on to defend that attraction can't be helped due to biology.  I then went on to say his delivery was inappropriate but asked the group here how could he have said it in a way that could have been taken in a less hurtful way.  I still have yet to get an answer about that.

[WannabeWealthy]

Jan 15, 2024 15:36:28 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Jan 15, 2024 14:51:06 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Yup.  Agree on all fronts.  However, in reality it's not always so clean cut.  People are murderers, abusers, alcoholics, drug abusers, child molesters, financial monsters, etc..  So we aren't always sticking to that "better or worse" saying. 

Ending up married to a child molester does not equal to deciding to leave your spouse and mother of your kids because you don't like that pregnancy resulted in a poochy.

If you expect a woman to maintain her pre-pregnancy body so you can continue to be horny for her otherwise you'll divorce her then MAYBE just MAYBE you should decide to remain childless.  I'd recommend getting snipped just to be sure.

Cause I got news for you, unless you are the elite who can afford all the personal chefs and trainers money can buy ain't no woman going to look EXACTLY the same as she did pre-kids.  Pregnancy and childbirth change everything.

You divorce your wife over it you are a giant fucking asshole who deserves karma to come bite you in the ass.   "Well he's not attracted to it" is just "boys will be boys" bullshit.   Same with the "Well that's how affairs happen!".  Way to blame the victim dude.  There is no way to justify Sunnyday's husband.

My point with the child molester is that we can always put weight on things that we SHOULD divorce over and things we shouldn't.  Recalling "for better or for worse" to make a point about physical appearance but then ignoring it for something like being an alcoholic is being "choosy" with that phrase to meet your own agenda.

We all agreed that the husband had delivery problems.  What we don't agree on is him being unattracted to her as a choice.

[WannabeWealthy]

Jan 15, 2024 20:34:56 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Jan 15, 2024 13:04:28 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

I think people here are totally misunderstanding what I'm trying to say and quickly taking offense for nothing.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  That actually means something.

If I'm out by myself in public, I'm not going to be attracted to 100% of the women that are in the world.  It's not by choice at all!  Some of the posters here act like it's s choice to be attracted to someone.  If you can agree with that statement, then you must agree with the statement that that same woman can become attractive or unattractive over time.  It can go both ways.

It's literally NOT a choice how attractive we are to people.  We can't control it.  All I said about the husband of the OP was that he's not a scum bag for not being attracted to his spouse.  I then mentioned that I agree with him being a scumbag on how he delivered his message.

Didn't you get divorced recently? I'm beginning to understand why.

Another personal jab unwarranted. 

You assume that I was the defendant in my divorce instead of the plaintiff.

I see this thread will go nowhere, so I'll bail.  Thanks for an open unbiased discussion.

[taz157]

Jan 16, 2024 6:58:33 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Jan 15, 2024 20:34:56 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Didn't you get divorced recently? I'm beginning to understand why.

Another personal jab unwarranted. 

You assume that I was the defendant in my divorce instead of the plaintiff.

I see this thread will go nowhere, so I'll bail.  Thanks for an open unbiased discussion.

You started it with your personal jab on another poster who was looking for advice…

[raeoflyte]

Jan 16, 2024 6:37:45 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Jan 15, 2024 15:19:11 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'll go back and sanity check this, but I didn't see any name-calling. if I had, I'd have offered a mod warning. just a lot of supportive posts, offering advice on what may be better first steps. and then here swoops in this condescending mansplainer, offering up why she was inadequate and her DH was right to divorce. somehow I don't think this thread is going as you'd expected, either. 

as someone said over there - if everyone else disagrees with you, perhaps it's time to reassess your opinion/attitude/presentation. just my two cents. 

-chiver mod

Can we be fair here?  I never mentioned the husband having the right to divorce her because of her weight.  Where did that assumption come from and why is it declared as something I said?  In fact, it was never mentioned the exact reason they got divorced.  

I only defended the "your husband is a shit head" comment (which is name-calling) for what I thought the husband being unattracted to his spouse.  I went on to defend that attraction can't be helped due to biology.  I then went on to say his delivery was inappropriate but asked the group here how could he have said it in a way that could have been taken in a less hurtful way.  I still have yet to get an answer about that.

That's been answered, repeatedly. It's just that no one agreed with you. To repeat- Mine was leave because no superficial surgery is going to fix an attraction that is gone. There will always be more to fix if you've gotten to that point.

[raeoflyte]

Jan 16, 2024 0:20:54 GMT -5 Opti said:

It would be nice to get some support for the fact my dad is dying and has chosen to go out quickly by refusing IV hydration and antibiotics.
On Wednesday I was told I would not get the job. Thursday night I realized the person who got the job was actually picked before the job was posted on Winter Solstice. I had been stupidly trying to execute all the duties of that job well because we are short staffed. Thinking it mattered when it did not. Friday waiting for the bus home I found out my dad was in the hospital. Meanwhile that area was being trounced on by storm Gerri and it took until Sunday before I was able to get through to the hospital. It took until Monday to get to a nurse and actually talk with my dad. 

I have gotten some support. I think mostly from people my age or older. Thankfully they are not backhanding my experience by telling me they do have quibbles with what I wrote, but will try not to point it out too much. 

I am sorry about your dad.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jan 16, 2024 6:37:45 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Jan 15, 2024 15:19:11 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'll go back and sanity check this, but I didn't see any name-calling. if I had, I'd have offered a mod warning. just a lot of supportive posts, offering advice on what may be better first steps. and then here swoops in this condescending mansplainer, offering up why she was inadequate and her DH was right to divorce. somehow I don't think this thread is going as you'd expected, either. 

as someone said over there - if everyone else disagrees with you, perhaps it's time to reassess your opinion/attitude/presentation. just my two cents. 

-chiver mod

Can we be fair here?  I never mentioned the husband having the right to divorce her because of her weight.  Where did that assumption come from and why is it declared as something I said?  In fact, it was never mentioned the exact reason they got divorced.  

I only defended the "your husband is a shit head" comment (which is name-calling) for what I thought the husband being unattracted to his spouse.  I went on to defend that attraction can't be helped due to biology.  I then went on to say his delivery was inappropriate but asked the group here how could he have said it in a way that could have been taken in a less hurtful way.  I still have yet to get an answer about that.

There IS no less hurtful way to say something like to someone you claim you love.  And not only claim to love but decided to marry and have children with.  You just. . .don't do that!  Again it's called empathy you might want to look it up.

Especially if the thing you are suddenly not attracted to is freaking due to her having your children!

If someone is going to throw away a marriage over something like that then that person is an asshole.  Period.  Own it.  Stop trying to argue that he is somehow only a bad guy because he couldn't figure out how to deliver it in a way that didn't hurt his wife.

This makes a person a shallow asshole who eventually will have karma catch up with him because one day he will get old just like everyone else on the planet and no level 10 hot chick is going to want a saggy old bald man with pants up to his boobs.   He'll die alone having chased hot tail all his life with nothing to show for it.   Meanwhile hopefully the ex-wife found someone who loves her for the whole of her and is living a happy life together with her new SO till death.

[andi9899]

Jan 16, 2024 6:58:33 GMT -5 WannabeWealthy said:

Jan 15, 2024 20:34:56 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Didn't you get divorced recently? I'm beginning to understand why.

Another personal jab unwarranted. 

You assume that I was the defendant in my divorce instead of the plaintiff.

I see this thread will go nowhere, so I'll bail.  Thanks for an open unbiased discussion.

Honestly, I really don't care about your divorce. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. I do care about the fact that you dislike women so much that you deliberately went on a woman's thread and gut punched her while she was down trying to justify her ex's toxic behavior. Shame on you.

I could have told you that your thread wouldn't get the desired result. Hell, Ray Charles could have told you that. That doesn't mean I won't sit here with my popcorn and watch.

[busymom]

I'm just posting as someone who does NOT find a beer belly attractive on men, and thankful that my man at least tries to keep his weight down, and stay healthy.  I think women are a lot more visual than some men want to believe.


Not good: 


 


Nice:

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I asked my husband about this and he said anyone who would divorce their wife over not looking like she did when they met is a giant douche.

He said even if I was ugly he still would have married me because that's not what made him want to marry me.  It was "me" that made him want to be with me for the long haul.

Then we had to stop and think about whether or not he said just something incredibly stupid or romantic.  Jury is still out. 


So there you have it from another man's perspective.  No there is no "right way" or "easy way" to say what was said and that if that is something you hold against your spouse you are a giant dick.

He also agreed with me that if that is all you are into eventually it's going to catch up to you and you will find yourself the "unattractive" one because we all get older.  He fully admitted he doesn't look remotely close to how he did in his 20s and wouldn't expect to get near the tail he did then.  He doesn't want to. . .he grew up, other things matter than hot tail.

[Opti]

Jan 16, 2024 8:34:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jan 16, 2024 0:20:54 GMT -5 Opti said:

It would be nice to get some support for the fact my dad is dying and has chosen to go out quickly by refusing IV hydration and antibiotics.
On Wednesday I was told I would not get the job. Thursday night I realized the person who got the job was actually picked before the job was posted on Winter Solstice. I had been stupidly trying to execute all the duties of that job well because we are short staffed. Thinking it mattered when it did not. Friday waiting for the bus home I found out my dad was in the hospital. Meanwhile that area was being trounced on by storm Gerri and it took until Sunday before I was able to get through to the hospital. It took until Monday to get to a nurse and actually talk with my dad. 

I have gotten some support. I think mostly from people my age or older. Thankfully they are not backhanding my experience by telling me they do have quibbles with what I wrote, but will try not to point it out too much. 

I am sorry about your dad.

He was formally moved to a hospice residence today. TY for the thoughts. 

[jerseygirl]

Sorry Opti about your Dad. Hospice is probably the best for him. Hoping he remains comfortable and you are able to talk to him or even visit
It’s difficult

[resolution]

Jan 17, 2024 18:24:17 GMT -5 Opti said:

Jan 16, 2024 8:34:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I am sorry about your dad.

He was formally moved to a hospice residence today. TY for the thoughts. 

Sorry about your dad. You are in my prayers. I hope you have a chance to spend some time with him.