Angel Trees

[NastyWoman]

Dec 4, 2023 12:09:50 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Dec 4, 2023 1:12:13 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Clearly you're not comfy with this situation. Considering that, what are your options, that you are comfortable doing instead?

Can you talk honestly, with whoever is in charge of the giving tree and get their prospective?

So far, it doesn't seem like you're very enthusiastic about any of the suggestions given. Only you can decide how to handle this, in a way that will bring you the happiness you hope for.
And if you aren't going to know who got the GC, will you ever really be happy you donated it?

Good luck with your decision, whatever it is.

What suggestions?  Proceed on and assume it won’t be abused or return the gift tag?  These are the only 2 I have seen suggested.  

TBH, this isn’t about MY happiness, but making a child happy.  Exactly how is that going to happen if they are going to receive a fairly large gift that has the potential to be abused in the name of the Angel Tree?  
When I did this in the past, there was a screening process that helped eliminate this kind of abuse.  A friend of mine was involved with it, and she told me how it was done by them.  We also weren’t asked to supply gift cards that could be abused either.  

I  understand where your hesitation comes from. But consider this, what makes you certain that a child's request for, say, Air Jordan sneakers will not end up with the sneakers being sold and the money going to feed the habit of a boozer or druggie parent? Someti.es you just have to hope for the best and take a leap of faith. Imagine all that money being spend on the (holiday ) meals between now and New Year and don't let your mind play games with you

[TheOtherMe]

The church where I used to work (before it closed) adopted a family and went above and beyond in gifts.  There started being voice mails left from people saying the people were selling things and to please call different numbers for different people.  The pastor and the organization determined they were selling the gifts.

That church didn't do any more Angel Trees.

[Opti]

Dec 3, 2023 18:41:48 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Honestly, you can't control how they spend the gc.

Can you give the gift freely, no strings attached in your heart/mind?

If not, then I'd put it back and find a different way to donate if that's something you are called to do.

I know what most people are going to say here.

The peanut and I have been volunteering at a pregnancy crisis center. The last time, our job was to watch kiddos while parents "shopped" and got diapers.

And yes, there were 1 year olds wearing air jordans while mom was asking for diapers.

Yes, the poor folks were picky about the clothing they picked out for their kids. They want cute clothing, just like the folks who bought and donated said clothing the poor folks were sifting through.

I can honestly say that it didn't bother me like it used to. I actually did notice I wasn't upset about the babies wearing expensive sneakers when I came home. And was like, huh. Something in me shifted.

Also I think some people think they can buy their kids way up the food chain by dressing them in designer duds. Speaking as someone who has now bought from more thrift stores than donated ... you never really know where something came from and who is going to use it. The towns here are much smaller than say where Welts gets to shop. Populations 3000 to 30,000 people typically. And thrift stores have to turn over inventory too. It will definitely be change of seasons soon so the premium on designer or name brand stuff will be gone at where I used to shop as first choice. Its where I ended up donating my wedding dress to.

In return I have lucked into several nice dresses and the LL Bean jacket that Crestie is convinced must be crickets when he hasn't eaten enough.

[Opti]

And people like Opti need some alcohol once in a while. I promise I drink responsibly and my animals are fed. Crestie is however a picky eater so sometimes thinks the cricket fairy has arrived when I put the LL Bean jacket on the back of this chair. He is like a finicky cat. He will almost always eat his fave Repashy but has decided the insect and grub version is to be walked on most times. Not sure if I have gotten him to eat any piece of cooked crickets by whomever with the Tongs. Hopefully sometime in 2024 I can devote more time to getting him to take food from them. 

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Can you ask the store if there is a no booze option for their gift cards? Given the number of people who struggle with addiction, it would be that far out that that even someone giving directly to a relative might not want the booze to be an option.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dec 5, 2023 13:05:40 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

Can you ask the store if there is a no booze option for their gift cards? Given the number of people who struggle with addiction, it would be that far out that that even someone giving directly to a relative might not want the booze to be an option.

I did, it was not an option.  

[bean29]

Sorry, I don't have time to read through the whole thread.  I am not sure how I feel about the Angel Trees.  My Mom's church does one every year.  I have been giving $ to Milwaukee Rescue Mission and Salvation Army for many years.  Both work with a population that tends to be very down and out.  

It occurred to me though that even if you bought $175 worth of toys for their kids that could just allow the parents to use money that they already had to spend their $$ on Booze rather than their kids.  I think I would just be glad it was relatively easy to fulfill and return the gift as requested.