Things Women Have to Worry About

[daisylu]

that (most) men do not think twice about.

I have dealt all of these my entire life, but #22 messed me up for a long time. 

An overwhelming majority of women discussed the many ways they have to think about their safety:



1."The reason I always scan my surroundings, never wear headphones/earbuds in public, or never have both hands full is because I know too many women (friends, coworkers, family) that have been assaulted in some way from being distracted or unaware in public. The last time I looked into the statistic, it was 1 out of 6 women in the US will be physically assaulted [or experience an attempted assault]. Those odds play in my head every time I leave my house."
2."Walking alone safely. I walk for exercise before dark, and I look behind me probably every few minutes and every time I reach an intersection to make sure no one is behind me. I have the added fear now in that I’m mildly disabled, so if I needed to, I couldn’t run away or properly defend myself. I carry pepper spray with me in case something happens. I would never walk alone at night."



—panda_13



3."I am constantly aware of cars that follow behind me, especially when it’s dark outside. Not such a big deal on interstates/highways or major city streets, but when I’m on less highly traveled streets or in my neighborhood, I pay attention to any car that stays behind me for too long, in resident areas in particular."



"Also, I’ve been told since I was old enough to drive that I should never, EVER pull over for a car using police lights unless it’s in a heavily populated area/road. A family member is a police officer and said that the safest thing to do is slow down, activate hazard (flashing lights), and then pull over someplace public, like a gas station or store parking lot. He said that even if the officer trying to pull you over is legit, they should understand what you did once you explain yourself.

13."Getting murdered, raped, or attacked. ... I don't think men understand how often women have to be concerned about this. Is it safe for me to say no to a date with this guy, or will he murder me? Is it ok to walk to my car alone? Can I take a jog in this neighborhood? What if I get a flat tire on this road? Why does my male boss want to see me in his office? Can I safely go to the professor's office and ask for help with this assignment? What if the guy on this first date is a psycho? What if my Uber driver kidnaps me?"

20."Being very conscious of my chest area in public. I have to always check that my chest is covered and I'm not showing them in any shape or form. Some men are really good at making you feel like an object just by the way they stare! This makes me very frustrated."



—jineais



21."How my clothes fit. I'm 5'2" with DDD breasts. My clothes are form fitting, no matter WHAT I'm wearing. My work clothes are a uniform that have a mild V-neck, and if I'm not careful, simply leaning forward gives whomever cares to look a full view of my cleavage. Even loose-fitting T-shirts cause issues, because they still fit tightly across my chest. No matter what I wear, I'm 'suggestive' and 'inappropriate' and 'asking for it.' Like, ************, I'm wearing SCRUBS. How am I being purposefully sexy?!"



—Anonymous



22."I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that I missed out on so much childhood because I had big breasts. The sexualization I experienced before I even knew what was happening shaped my life, and not in a good way."

link

[Artemis Windsong]

I didn't comment on the Y! article but noticed 333 comments.

I would add how long it takes me to get ready to leave the house.  Restroom, check my purse, check the door locks, get water, correct shoes, hat, sunscreen.

25.  Friendly, I am in a ladies club but now loosely connected to them.  At an event outside the club I was trying to talk to what I thought was a friend in book group.  She said I was too friendly.  I introduced my H. to her and she cringed away.  She was attending a booth at an international recognition event.  I now cut her a wide berth.  I'm superficially nice.  She's in a wheelchair.  I will hold the ladies room door for her because it's hard to do for her.  It ends there.  Our group regularly exchange books but I won't exchange with her. 

29.  Even at my age I still get approached and say no.  I do have someone sullying my reputation in spite.  To my misfortune, he is believed. It's not just one person.   I asked for prayers from an online church when the people of my church believed someone who walked in off the street.  The perv has a new audience because the kids have grown into adults without knowledge of this history.  This problem goes a long way back in a variety of spitefulness but I won't go any further. 

Stalking is a felony in most states but catching them is tough. 

[laterbloomer]

My refusal to accommodate a lot of these things has also shaped my life. It affects us no matter how we respond to it.

[TheOtherMe]

Nov 16, 2023 13:30:56 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

My refusal to accommodate a lot of these things has also shaped my life. It affects us no matter how we respond to it.

Same.  I remember going for a walk as an adult after work.  Some guy stopped and wanted to know if I wanted to go with him and have a good time.

I found out I could run very fast if I needed to.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I don't go to the bathroom alone when out and about unless it is a very public place with lots of people coming and going.   

DH didn't get it when I insisted he go with me down a hallway in the OM to the restroom and wait outside the door.  It's down a hallway with a wall blocking visibility and very dim lighting.  Perfect for someone to lurk and attack an unsuspecting person.

No way as women were we going to go alone.  We either all went or made our boyfriends stand guard. 

DH conceded that as an adult man he has never really thought about that before.  He just goes to the bathroom where ever one is available.   He always wondered why women tend to go to the bathroom in groups.

Safety in numbers idiot. 

[grumpyhermit]

The only thing I really worry about is walking about after dark. I am in small sized city, and while I will walk on well lit streets, I will not go through areas like the park that are super isolated after sundown.

Well, I HAVE, but even when I'm doing it, I know it's a terrible idea.

It's part of why I hate this time of year when it gets dark at like....4:30. It really cuts down on my ability to exercise outside safely.