Social media and children

[Deleted]

I hear a bit on the news about concerns regarding social media access for children.  I have no kids, so no skin in the game, but I'm interested in hearing how parents and grandparents here handle the issue.  At what age should a child have access to what apps?  Do you monitor your child's social media presence?  Do you welcome government action as helpful in parenting?  Talk amongst yourselves.

[billisonboard]

I think as members of society, we all have some skin in the game. The fact that we see the idea government might have a role suggests that we have guardians of children not doing an adequate job of monitoring their social media use, assuming monitoring is necessary.  Promoting a healthy society is something I want government to do. So I am watching and listening. 

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2023 13:33:43 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

I think as members of society, we all have some skin in the game. The fact that we see the idea government might have a role suggests that we have guardians of children not doing an adequate job of monitoring their social media use, assuming monitoring is necessary.  Promoting a healthy society is something I want government to do. So I am watching and listening. 

You are correct - we all have skin in the game of mental health for our young people.  What I should have said is that I don't have kids so I wondered how everyone here handles it for the young ones in their family.  I've read many horror stories about the impact of social media, especially on tweens and teens, bullying, body-shaming and such, so I wondered how folks here dealt with it IRL.  At what age do you let them join FB, Tik-Tok, Instagram, do you have access to their account and that sort of thing.  That may be asking for too much personal info just to satisfy my curiosity about the issue and that's okay too.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

I am grateful my kids are not really into the social media thing.  No FB, Tik-Tok, Insta... Carrot has snapchat but rarely uses it.  Phones aren't allowed in school and social media apps are not allowed on the school chromebooks.  I'm pretty strict about bedtime and no electronics in the bedroom at night and keep him pretty busy with activities so the time to spend on these platforms is limited to begin with.   Now online gaming.  That's a war I've lost with both of them.     Carrot's new thing is online chess though and he can play that for hours.  I feel a little better about that than say Call of Duty.

[debthaven]

I NEVER post pictures of my kids on FB. (I'm not on Insta). They would have killed me when they were teens, and the habit stuck LOL.

ALL my friends have posted pictures of their grandchildren on FB when they arrived. My DS1 and DDIL asked us to please NOT to post ANY pictures of their kids on SM. So obviously we didn't.

We have a family what'sapp thread (DH and I and our 4 now adult children) where we freely exchange photos and news. I'm happy with that.   

We also check our FB privacy settings regularly, and my kids do the same on the other networks.

I've seen more than one of the students at my two schools post photos that were stupid enough to get them expelled (and in one recent case, escorted out of the country by police escort) after they had JUST arrived to do a semester abroad.

MANY years ago DD (now 30) posted both her school and home address on a now-defunct platform. THANK GD I SAW IT!!! I was livid. We talked. She took it down. She wasn't happy, but we monitored her SM use for a long while after that.

Happily the other 3 kids were savvier about SM. 

But it's definitely a concern now.

[Tennesseer]

Social Media & Suicide
About 46,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (1). People die by suicide at a rate of 14 per 100,000. Among children and young adults, 10 to 24, the suicide rate is 10.7 per 100,000 (2), and suicide is the second-leading cause of death among this age group (3).

Link to complete article: Social Media & Suicide

[billisonboard]

Apr 30, 2023 17:02:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I am grateful my kids are not really into the social media thing.  No FB, Tik-Tok, Insta... Carrot has snapchat but rarely uses it.  Phones aren't allowed in school and social media apps are not allowed on the school chromebooks.  I'm pretty strict about bedtime and no electronics in the bedroom at night and keep him pretty busy with activities so the time to spend on these platforms is limited to begin with.   Now online gaming.  That's a war I've lost with both of them.     Carrot's new thing is online chess though and he can play that for hours.  I feel a little better about that than say Call of Duty.

Hope he isn't hanging with the speed chess gang. They are reputed to be a fast crowd.

[Deleted]

Tennesseer  Thank you for sharing that-it's exactly what I believe is concerning to parents.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

Apr 30, 2023 17:20:05 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Apr 30, 2023 17:02:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I am grateful my kids are not really into the social media thing.  No FB, Tik-Tok, Insta... Carrot has snapchat but rarely uses it.  Phones aren't allowed in school and social media apps are not allowed on the school chromebooks.  I'm pretty strict about bedtime and no electronics in the bedroom at night and keep him pretty busy with activities so the time to spend on these platforms is limited to begin with.   Now online gaming.  That's a war I've lost with both of them.     Carrot's new thing is online chess though and he can play that for hours.  I feel a little better about that than say Call of Duty.

Hope he isn't hanging with the speed chess gang. They are reputed to be a fast crowd.

He loves speed chess.  I really need to find him a club somewhere so he can play with people in person.  I haven't been having any luck finding one so far.

[billisonboard]

Apr 30, 2023 17:56:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Apr 30, 2023 17:20:05 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Hope he isn't hanging with the speed chess gang. They are reputed to be a fast crowd.

He loves speed chess.  I really need to find him a club somewhere so he can play with people in person.  I haven't been having any luck finding one so far.

Many years ago took a girlfriend's high school kid and couple of his friends to a speed chess tournament. It was amazing to watch rows of boards with hands just flying over the pieces and the sound of the clocks being hit. Hope your son gets chances to play live.

[TheOtherMe]

Toddler is too young to be on social media but his parents will not allow his face to be posted.  They have to approve all photos before posting.

[raeoflyte]

Apr 30, 2023 17:02:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I am grateful my kids are not really into the social media thing.  No FB, Tik-Tok, Insta... Carrot has snapchat but rarely uses it.  Phones aren't allowed in school and social media apps are not allowed on the school chromebooks.  I'm pretty strict about bedtime and no electronics in the bedroom at night and keep him pretty busy with activities so the time to spend on these platforms is limited to begin with.   Now online gaming.  That's a war I've lost with both of them.     Carrot's new thing is online chess though and he can play that for hours.  I feel a little better about that than say Call of Duty.

They banned chess.com on all school chrome books because apparently it was too distracting. Ds plays on his phone a lot.