Differences Between Our States

[Tennesseer]

Apr 13, 2023 18:47:14 GMT -5 triciacus said:

I live on the border of New Mexico and Texas, it is very different here, I live in New Mexico but work in Texas, thank god as of right now our governor and state Legislative are not taking away our rights as women, but if I go 30 miles to the doctor I do not have rights to have an abortion or anything like that.  Being that I live right near Juarez there are times we suffer from a high crime rate but for the most part it is very safe.  In El Paso where I work it is very blue, unlike most of the rest of Texas.

I was born and raised in New Jersey and worked in New York City and I loved it, but it got to be too expensive, I love where I live now because I live in a rural area where my property taxes are cheap, but I am still pretty close to a big city, I am 30 miles away from El Paso and 275 miles from Albuquerque, NM.

Close to Las Cruces too? Pretty town. Visited Las Cruces when my niece graduated from New Mexico State University. Her two brothers graduated from that university too.

[triciacus]

Apr 13, 2023 19:13:49 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 13, 2023 18:47:14 GMT -5 triciacus said:

I live on the border of New Mexico and Texas, it is very different here, I live in New Mexico but work in Texas, thank god as of right now our governor and state Legislative are not taking away our rights as women, but if I go 30 miles to the doctor I do not have rights to have an abortion or anything like that.  Being that I live right near Juarez there are times we suffer from a high crime rate but for the most part it is very safe.  In El Paso where I work it is very blue, unlike most of the rest of Texas.

I was born and raised in New Jersey and worked in New York City and I loved it, but it got to be too expensive, I love where I live now because I live in a rural area where my property taxes are cheap, but I am still pretty close to a big city, I am 30 miles away from El Paso and 275 miles from Albuquerque, NM.

Close to Las Cruces too? Pretty town. Visited Las Cruces when my niece graduated from New Mexico State University. Her two brothers graduated from that university too.

Tennesseer, yes I am about 40-45 miles from Las Cruces, it is a very nice town with a lot of historical places.

[flamingo]

I’m just outside of Houston. My suburb is very diverse and very blue. I feel safe here. I recognize I have a lot of privilege to be able to live here and travel for medical care if I can’t get it here due to their war on women. Beyond that, tho, I really love where I live. I have made some great friends here, there’s a lot to do being so close to such a big city, and my suburb isn’t exactly small. I’m definitely a big city person. 

if I had the choice to live anywhere, I’d move back to Chicago. I miss living right downtown, not needing a car, having everything within walking distance. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 17:44:51 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I live in Colorado in a Denver suburb. Mild weather, good jobs, Marijuana is legal (and I think even mushrooms medicinally - I dont follow it much). Lots of outdoor recreation options, very blue politically in the Denver/Boulder area.

Downsides we've become almost a vhcola. Median home price is $575k in Denver and the median household income is $78k. Also outside of the metro area - it's very red. Lauren Boebert was elected on just the other side of the state, so realistically it wouldn't take much for the state to vote red.

And while I feel safe physically from most crime I also think that's a mindset in my case. I felt safe at my last house even though my car was stolen and crime against property was common. I feel safe at my current home and will walk home after dark alone from our little downtown area a couple miles away. But my in-laws are so scared they run around their house and everywhere else with loaded guns and they live 10 minutes from me. They're older so maybe an easier target, but if you asked them the answer would be very different.

Even if our combined income stayed what it is or increases, I wouldn’t be comfortable buying a $575k house anywhere. Even if we could “technically “ afford it. 

Idk why, but I felt safer being outside at night at my other house, even just sitting on the patio on the back in the dark, or leaving home in the dark to go to work, than I feel safe outside where I live now.

[irishpad]

 I live in Minnesota.   Has been a blue state most of the time and that is part of family tradition.  Grandpa was chairman of Democratic party for our county and mom was the secretary.   Even met Hubert Humphrey when he was running for Senate for the second time in 1970 (I was 7 at the time)  Good social system in the state.   Higher taxes but they provide good services.   I live near the ND border so this legislative season has been interesting to read in the paper.   ND doing all the typical laws other red states are doing this year.  MN, they are addressing real issues that affect the people.    

[steph08]

I live in Pennsylvania - the Southwest area of the state. We are very rural - it is about 12 miles on the highway to get to "town," which includes a Walmart, fast food, restaurants, a few other grocery stores, movie theater, state university, etc. 

It is about 50% redneck/AHs and 50% normal people. And I say that as someone raising the fourth generation in this area. It isn't a rare occurrence to see a Confederate flag or a Trump sign. My kids' school is probably 90% white - and that's an improvement from when I went to school. Class sizes are small - about 55 kids in each grade at our school. Our county usually goes red, but because of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, the whole state often swings blue. 

I'm about 1.5 hours from Pittsburgh, which means that I have access to culture and an international airport, but it requires a bit of a drive.

Even with the downsides, I still like it. I like living on 4 acres and having a big yard and knowing my neighbors and feeling safe leaving my cars unlocked and not even worrying when I discover I left my garage door open all night. And we make good money, and it goes a long way in this area. 

[nidena]

I grew up in CA but it's been so long since I've lived there, that I don't think I could offer up a good perspective for living there.  I mean, I left before I was 20 so my world viewpoint was much narrower back then.  Since then, it's been Tacoma, WA for six years; Okinawa for three years; Dover, DE for 14 years; and, now, Indianapolis.  Delaware is what I remember the most because it's where I lived longest so far.  I felt safe where I lived and even more so when I was able to go on base to hit the running track at 2am when I worked nights.  I used to love to throw on my sneakers and hit the pavement for 3-4 mile walks with some being through the local wooded park.  The "downtown" area of Dover was really just a few blocks and the tallest building might have been five stories.  It was perceived as "rougher" for all the usual racist reasons but the reality was: it's where the slumlords owned their buildings.  Dover didn't have much in the way of white-collar jobs outside of the medical field.  It was, like many cities under 50,000, mostly retail/fast food.  But the proximity of Dover to actual things to do was great.  You could go north to Philadelphia, northeast to NY, west to Baltimore or D.C., or south to the beaches.  NYC was the furthest away at 3 hours but Philly and D.C. were each only 1.5-2 hours away.  The state seemed pretty well taken care of in terms of upkeep and whatnot.  

Where I live now...egads.  It's Indiana.  The Indy metro area is wonderfully diverse, especially the little township where I live.  The rest of IN, not so much.  Our state govt fights the legalization of marijuana tooth and nail, nevermind that EVERY freakin' state around us has it legal to varying degrees.  I'm sure it's because most of the busts that get sent to jail are for stupid dimebags and the rich dudes who own the jails won't stay rich if we empty the jail of all the possession "criminals".  We're hanging on to women's health measure by less than a thread.  I'm hoping we can shake up the state govt some by getting rid of many of the incumbents.  We do have some great state and local parks around here, though.  And they're working hard to improve the school systems...sort of...when they're not freaking out about perceived threats to their children, like books that tell the actual history of this place (I mean, the damn state is called INDIAN-a with INDIAN-apolis as its largest city...you can't ignore the genocidal shit forever).

I feel totally safe hanging out outside during the day.  Wouldn't do it at night but I'd feel that way in any city.  And I'm optimistic about things to come in this little and plan to be a part of the good changes.

[raeoflyte]

Apr 13, 2023 19:54:01 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 17:44:51 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I live in Colorado in a Denver suburb. Mild weather, good jobs, Marijuana is legal (and I think even mushrooms medicinally - I dont follow it much). Lots of outdoor recreation options, very blue politically in the Denver/Boulder area.

Downsides we've become almost a vhcola. Median home price is $575k in Denver and the median household income is $78k. Also outside of the metro area - it's very red. Lauren Boebert was elected on just the other side of the state, so realistically it wouldn't take much for the state to vote red.

And while I feel safe physically from most crime I also think that's a mindset in my case. I felt safe at my last house even though my car was stolen and crime against property was common. I feel safe at my current home and will walk home after dark alone from our little downtown area a couple miles away. But my in-laws are so scared they run around their house and everywhere else with loaded guns and they live 10 minutes from me. They're older so maybe an easier target, but if you asked them the answer would be very different.

Even if our combined income stayed what it is or increases, I wouldn’t be comfortable buying a $575k house anywhere. Even if we could “technically “ afford it. 

Idk why, but I felt safer being outside at night at my other house, even just sitting on the patio on the back in the dark, or leaving home in the dark to go to work, than I feel safe outside where I live now.

Our old house may have been in a similar neighborhood as your old house. There was more foot traffic, so increased some types of crime, but I wasn't likely to be caught alone with a bad guy coming into my house. There were people out and about which I liked.

[Opti]

Apr 13, 2023 19:54:01 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 17:44:51 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I live in Colorado in a Denver suburb. Mild weather, good jobs, Marijuana is legal (and I think even mushrooms medicinally - I dont follow it much). Lots of outdoor recreation options, very blue politically in the Denver/Boulder area.

Downsides we've become almost a vhcola. Median home price is $575k in Denver and the median household income is $78k. Also outside of the metro area - it's very red. Lauren Boebert was elected on just the other side of the state, so realistically it wouldn't take much for the state to vote red.

And while I feel safe physically from most crime I also think that's a mindset in my case. I felt safe at my last house even though my car was stolen and crime against property was common. I feel safe at my current home and will walk home after dark alone from our little downtown area a couple miles away. But my in-laws are so scared they run around their house and everywhere else with loaded guns and they live 10 minutes from me. They're older so maybe an easier target, but if you asked them the answer would be very different.

Even if our combined income stayed what it is or increases, I wouldn’t be comfortable buying a $575k house anywhere. Even if we could “technically “ afford it. 

Idk why, but I felt safer being outside at night at my other house, even just sitting on the patio on the back in the dark, or leaving home in the dark to go to work, than I feel safe outside where I live now.

If I could afford it I'd be comfortable buying a house at that level or even one in the millions. However, if I did buy that high I'd be ready and OK with having to let it go or sell off part of the property if my financial circumstances changed. One of the fundraisers I like out here in NJ is for a medical center and they typically have designers decorate up a local mansion that is for sale or being readied for sale. I think the last one I was able to go to, was smaller than some and even seemed livable to me. The acreage was significant enough that one could sell off some land to hold on for a while if needed. From a practical standpoint, smaller homes are easy to maintain, and you have less odds of staff and or visitors trying to rip you off.

I felt safe at both the houses I owned and was lucky both were in low crime relatively safe areas. I have shopped apartments in significantly higher crime areas because of cost, but haven't gone for any of them because I wasn't so sure how safe and protected my car would be. 

[Opti]

One thing I think is generally true is the COL is higher in Blue states than Red states in large part because Blue states are more willing to support all their citizens instead of just the rich or convenient ones. Given what's happening politically I feel safer and closer to people I'd probably agree with living in a Blue state versus living in a Red state but a bluish area. The safety nets are better in blue states but nowhere near what most of Europe has. I sometimes think I'd be happier somewhere in Europe, but I think our laws and legal system superior in important ways to some English speaking countries. Not sure if I'd be brave enough to live in a country where English is at best a secondary language as I am not fluent in any language, but I could fake it best in a German speaking country.

[ners]

I have lived my entire life in Ohio.  I grew up in an inner ring suburb of Cleveland.   I would not feel safe living in the house I grew up in.  In the mid-eighties I spent about 1 year living in Columbus and then 1 year living in the Toledo area.  I came back to the Cleveland area.  I now live in an eastern suburb of Cleveland.  When I purchased my home a looked for a home I could afford in a neighborhood I felt safe.  I can say I am still happy with my choice.  

[finnime]

I love this thread!

Until last year I lived in Maryland in the suburban D.C. area, in a profoundly liberal wealthy county. The town I lived in is one of the most diverse in the country. It also has a population of 500,000+, I believe. lurkyloo would know better. I never felt unsafe walking around where I lived. I always locked the car but rarely the front door. I was often out at night, NBD. I would have felt much less comfortable were I in the city, either D.C. or Baltimore. There is a big cultural difference there in that national politics are front and center of much of life. We lived close to one senator and very close to our congressional rep. The goings-on January 6 were local news. There are scary areas of D.C. like most larger cities, but a lot of it is tame, comfortable to walk around in. And guns are not tolerated among the population.

Now I live in bright blue Massachusetts where I grew up. The small town we chose to live in is well off with many town services and quite liberal even within a liberal state. And it's on the water, which I just love. I get such a feeling of well-being when I'm on the beach or at home. In this area of the state the COL is quite reasonable in my estimation. Taxes and housing costs were significantly higher where I lived in Maryland.

There is easy access from here to Providence, R.I., another blue blue state, and Boston is not an issue to get to, either. We went there for a hockey game the other night. Cape Cod is just down the road, too.

I've not felt targeted except at work, as a woman. 

[Tennesseer]

Apr 14, 2023 9:39:09 GMT -5 finnime said:

I love this thread!

Until last year I lived in Maryland in the suburban D.C. area, in a profoundly liberal wealthy county. The town I lived in is one of the most diverse in the country. It also has a population of 500,000+, I believe. lurkyloo would know better. I never felt unsafe walking around where I lived. I always locked the car but rarely the front door. I was often out at night, NBD. I would have felt much less comfortable were I in the city, either D.C. or Baltimore. There is a big cultural difference there in that national politics are front and center of much of life. We lived close to one senator and very close to our congressional rep. The goings-on January 6 were local news. There are scary areas of D.C. like most larger cities, but a lot of it is tame, comfortable to walk around in. And guns are not tolerated among the population.

Now I live in bright blue Massachusetts where I grew up. The small town we chose to live in is well off with many town services and quite liberal even within a liberal state. And it's on the water, which I just love. I get such a feeling of well-being when I'm on the beach or at home. In this area of the state the COL is quite reasonable in my estimation. Taxes and housing costs were significantly higher where I lived in Maryland.

There is easy access from here to Providence, R.I., another blue blue state, and Boston is not an issue to get to, either. We went there for a hockey game the other night. Cape Cod is just down the road, too.

I've not felt targeted except at work, as a woman. 

I was born and raised in Springfield, MA. Some of my grammar and high school friends, once retired, moved to the Cape and bought homes.

[Bonny]

I'm in CA about 15 miles from San Francisco in a smallish town on the Coast.

It's a beautiful area with lots of open space. It's a former blue collar town and considered "entry level" for the Peninsula. Starter homes start at $1M.

It used to be considered "blue collar" and there are still a lot of folks my age (60s) who are in the trades. I love the fact that when I want to get work done on my house I can usually find someone who lives within 5 miles of my house.

Since our tenure here there's been a lot more white collar professionals; e.g. college instructors, IT and biotech. Although we have some people of color it's still pretty "white". Even my friends who identify as hispanic are mostly very light skin.

As tallguy says, there are issues with being too liberal as well. We had an issue about two years ago whereby we were flooded with people coming in their campers. The City got sued and we had to created an unhoused people program.

We also get folks coming down from the City and other places around the Bay, stealing catalytic converters and other business theft. Apparently booze is a big issue. Our local Safeways have them under lock and key.

[bookkeeper]

I live in the middle of South Dakota.  I feel very safe in my home and neighborhood.  I would describe the area as medium cost of living.  The 3 bedroom ranch home down the street from me is for sale for $340,000.  There are approximately 20,000 people in the urban area in and around town.  We have a large police presence in our town due to the Federal Building and their Marshalls and a law enforcement training center.  

We have very little retail.  Having grown up in small towns, we understand the importance of buying locally so some businesses will remain.  We have very little traffic.  I can ride my bike all through town safely.

SD is a very red state.  When George McGovern ran for president, he didn't even win his home state of SD.  Our current governor would like to see things return to the 1950's for women and minorities.  She is also fond of rewriting history so the white guys are the good guys.  In a state with this many Native American tribes, that does not fly. The name of the state contains a Native American word!  Racism is very apparent for anyone that isn't white.  Our politicians have enacted an abortion ban, so women need to travel out of state for reproductive care.  The brain drain is real here.  We lose many talented young people to Minneapolis, Omaha and Kansas City.  We have no state income tax, but property and sales taxes step up to fill the coffers.

What I really like about living here is the self sufficiency of the people as well as their ability to come together during floods, tornadoes, and emergencies.  It's hard to describe, but when you grow up on the prairie, the prairie is your home and will always be in your heart.

[gs11rmb]

I grew up in Scotland but have lived in Atlanta for 25 years.  I love living in this city but hate living in Georgia - I hope that makes sense!

When the abortion ban was passed, the DA's in Fulton and DeKalb counties said they wouldn't prosecute.  I was glad to hear that but it's absolutely ridiculous that it's even an issue.  Some of the suburban and rural schools have been getting their knickers in a twist about critical race theory, trans kids, etc. but that hasn't been an issue for the in-town districts.  Atlanta is a very diverse city but I recognize that life is still easier for me and my white family than it is for black and brown families.  I like to think that things are getting better but that may not be the opinion of a member of a racial or ethnic minority.

On a lighter note, Atlanta is a city where middle class people can buy houses, visit cultural attractions, sporting events, art festivals, and eat every type of cuisine from throughout the world.  But ... the public transportation system sucks!

[Annie7]

I live in Central NJ. I love my neighborhood. This subsection of the western part of the town is mainly middle class or upper middle class immigrants and is mostly new (90s/2000s) houses. The SFHs (4 BR 2.5 bath) sell for 700-900K on average. The land while not postage size, is probably a label size . Most people are white collar workers. Many commute to NYC (an hour or slightly more away). I feel safe walking my dog late at night. I'm comfortable walking in my ethnic clothes in the neighborhood and going to the local stores and restaurants. School system is very good and is diverse. My kids didn't feel out of place in the school since there were plenty of others of the same ethnicity. I don't know personally how good the services were for students who were below par. For those who were above par, they were good. My kids were in the gifted and talented programs and they thrived on it. 

There are racists everywhere. One day when walking my german shepherd, a lady with toy dogs was so scared of my dog who barked at her dogs that she told me that I needed to muzzle my dog and "there are rules here" and that she would report me to the police. (I called the non-emergency police number to know my responsibilities in this situation and was told that just barking and lunging by a dog is not a crime as long as I have control of the dog - which I did.) But she was the exception and in general people are good and greet you when walking even if you don't know each other. There are some burglaries especially during the Chinese and Indian festival times since folks bring home their jewelry from the bank to wear during the festivals. There are reports on nextdoor of cars being broken into and folks stealing catalytic converters. But many people park even their Teslas on the driveway instead of in their garages.

I came 28 years ago from a city in my home country where culturally and for safety reasons girls were told to be home by dark. My dad would have me bolt my bedroom door at night just for safety even though we never really had burglaries in our immediate neighborhood. Compared to that, it seems much free-er to be a woman here. I lived in Colorado Springs, CO for a little over a year in 1994. I felt very exposed there because of my ethnicity. It was a very white community and there were few ethnic stores/restaurants. 

There is a nice variety of restaurants of multiple ethnicities here and NYC is just over an hour drive or you could take the train. The Poconos are close by for skiing. Jersey beaches are wonderful. We have the four seasons. 

The biggest con - property tax - it's very high - mine is 15K per year. 

[chiver78]

ok, I can better describe my current situation now. I'm awake, and caffeinated

three years ago, I moved from Cape Cod to eventually about 10min into the "mainland" in the woods near the meeting point of three SE Massachusetts counties. it's mostly quiet, with some seasonal residents, although the construction across the bogs in encroaching with its noise pollution.    MA is definitely a blue state, but there's concentrated pockets of blazing red. my former town, for instance, hosted a lot of the COVID-denier (and later, election-denier) yahoos at a high traffic Dunkin Donuts next to one of the Cape Cod bridges. fun stuff. my current spot, while in a pretty blue town, is definitely redneck central. there's a handful of houses adorned *STILL* with Trump 2020 stuff, FJB flags, and the like.      I don't put out flags of any kind, and just keep to myself. 

as far as diversity, this South Coast area of the state has a large Portuguese heritage. where finnime lives is closer than I am to where a huge Portuguese festival is held every summer - Madeira Fest/Feast of the Blessed Sacrament. there's also a large Native presence in the Wampanoag Tribe, based in Mashpee on the Cape. as far as other diversity, we get a lot of tourists from all over. but there really isn't a lot of Asian or Indian folks, and my little hovel in the woods is mostly lily white redneck. other than the assholes next door, this neighborhood definitely looks out for each other. I have probably left my car unlocked more often than I've locked it overnight, and I have definitely left the keys still in the lock when I closed the side door for the night. 

until 2015, I lived within 20min of where I grew up - in a town along the famed Boston Marathon route, west of Boston. I'm only about an hour away now, and am actually heading up there tomorrow to see my hair stylist. other than a 6mo stint in college where I lived in Providence, RI, my home address has always been in MA. 

oh - and "Massa-two-shits" came from a bus driver we had, during a jr HS class trip to Washington, DC. shit, so 30y ago, not 20. yeesh. anyway, this poor guy tried and tried to pronounce Massachusetts correctly and just wasn't getting it. so he just called us "the kids from Massa-two-shits" which we all thought was fantastic as a group of 12yo kids. lol.... 

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 17:53:30 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Apr 13, 2023 17:33:09 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

If I had my way and could do it, I’d like to live in a small town, with easy access to a big city.

What does Big City mean? 50K people, 100K people, 1 million people?


FWIW: there are racist people just about everywhere. Some areas though people are a little more polite about it.

As a woman (who often feels like I'm being treated like a second class citizen even though I'm white - or maybe it's just some men who think women are too stupid or helpless or something...) I am aware of some of the pressures that are put on people who aren't white (or don't fit into the "worldview" of how men and women should act) that other people exert. 

Not to mention that most places in America are still dealing with the fallout from the past - redlining, segregation, what's being taught in schools, and probably a lot of things I don't know about.  There's a heck ton of whitewashing that older Americans were taught as fact and feel just fine with and don't see why non-whites object to it.     OR are uncomfortable with it - but don't know what to say about it/what to do about it when it comes up.  

Big city means big enough to have a lot of options for shopping and a variety of things to do for fun.

I know racists are everywhere. I’ve always know we had more than our share in the area I live in. But, maybe I’m naive, because a lot of things that have been happening over the last several years, where people started showing their true colors and other people supporting them, I never saw any of that coming.

[andi9899]

I live in a diverse area of a red state. I like it here for the most part. Yes, there are intolerant people here. I try and stay away from them. I surround myself with all sorts of people and love the diversity of my friend group. The state of KS as a a whole is trash.

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 18:22:43 GMT -5 tallguy said:

Seattle and the Puget Sound area are good, though it can be pretty expensive here too.  Northwest Washington in general should be fine, although Southwest and Eastern Washington are more conservative.  State laws do not target women and minorities because Western Washington has many more voters and they are much more liberal.  I am not a fan of the Seattle City Council, in that I think they have gone overboard in not holding people accountable for negative social behaviors.  As a result, things like in-your-face homelessness and property crime have increased.  Violent crime, however, is still well below the national average, as I recall.  Most neighborhoods are perfectly safe to walk in at night.  Some areas should probably be avoided, as in any large city.  Another benefit is that pretty much anything you want to do is no more than a day trip away.  Lakes, beaches, mountains, ocean, three national parks....  Very good restaurants, arts, and cultural attractions.  Some people complain about the weather, in that it is often gray and rainy for a few months, but summers are maybe the best anywhere, and there are basically none of the weather extremes, disasters, or bugs that other places deal with.  All I know is that I'm never leaving.  There are a lot of places that are nice to visit.  To live?  I'll stick with this one. 

That is very appealing, the closest city to me is Nashville. We use to go to Nashville fairly often when I was in my early teens. We’d go to football games because my cousin was a majorette at TSU. I’ve been several times over the last 10 years, for various reasons that never including Nashville being somewhere I really wanted to visit lol. Mister loves Nashville. I do not.

We have also run away to Little Rock, AR, just because it’s fairly close and we wanted to get away from home for 2 or 3 days. And Hot Springs. But there’s only so many times I want to go to Hot Springs.

Other than those places, we’d have to drive around 6 hours at least to get to somewhere interesting to me. 

I would not do well with that weather. A few days in a row of rainy weather starts to affect my mood. I need sunshine!

[tallguy]

Apr 14, 2023 14:20:54 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 18:22:43 GMT -5 tallguy said:

Seattle and the Puget Sound area are good, though it can be pretty expensive here too.  Northwest Washington in general should be fine, although Southwest and Eastern Washington are more conservative.  State laws do not target women and minorities because Western Washington has many more voters and they are much more liberal.  I am not a fan of the Seattle City Council, in that I think they have gone overboard in not holding people accountable for negative social behaviors.  As a result, things like in-your-face homelessness and property crime have increased.  Violent crime, however, is still well below the national average, as I recall.  Most neighborhoods are perfectly safe to walk in at night.  Some areas should probably be avoided, as in any large city.  Another benefit is that pretty much anything you want to do is no more than a day trip away.  Lakes, beaches, mountains, ocean, three national parks....  Very good restaurants, arts, and cultural attractions.  Some people complain about the weather, in that it is often gray and rainy for a few months, but summers are maybe the best anywhere, and there are basically none of the weather extremes, disasters, or bugs that other places deal with.  All I know is that I'm never leaving.  There are a lot of places that are nice to visit.  To live?  I'll stick with this one. 

That is very appealing, the closest city to me is Nashville. We use to go to Nashville fairly often when I was in my early teens. We’d go to football games because my cousin was a majorette at TSU. I’ve been several times over the last 10 years, for various reasons that never including Nashville being somewhere I really wanted to visit lol. Mister loves Nashville. I do not.

We have also run away to Little Rock, AR, just because it’s fairly close and we wanted to get away from home for 2 or 3 days. And Hot Springs. But there’s only so many times I want to go to Hot Springs.

Other than those places, we’d have to drive around 6 hours at least to get to somewhere interesting to me. 

I would not do well with that weather. A few days in a row of rainy weather starts to affect my mood. I need sunshine!

My GF too, which is why she splits the year and why I now spend a few months in...Florida (cough, cough.)  Summers are gorgeous though, and she does have it set up correctly.  Here when it's perfect here, there when it is perfect there.

I don't mind the weather that much.  I grew up with it, and don't really need to be out in the cold and rain if I don't want to.  I am even on record as saying that I wish it would rain every day...between midnight and 6:00 a.m. so it would never actually rain ON me.  The benefits are that the rain keeps the air pretty clean and everything else pretty green most of the year.  I've gone through other places that are really just varying shades of brown.  I can't imagine living someplace like that.    

[NastyWoman]

Apr 14, 2023 14:20:54 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 18:22:43 GMT -5 tallguy said:

Seattle and the Puget Sound area are good, though it can be pretty expensive here too.  Northwest Washington in general should be fine, although Southwest and Eastern Washington are more conservative.  State laws do not target women and minorities because Western Washington has many more voters and they are much more liberal.  I am not a fan of the Seattle City Council, in that I think they have gone overboard in not holding people accountable for negative social behaviors.  As a result, things like in-your-face homelessness and property crime have increased.  Violent crime, however, is still well below the national average, as I recall.  Most neighborhoods are perfectly safe to walk in at night.  Some areas should probably be avoided, as in any large city.  Another benefit is that pretty much anything you want to do is no more than a day trip away.  Lakes, beaches, mountains, ocean, three national parks....  Very good restaurants, arts, and cultural attractions.  Some people complain about the weather, in that it is often gray and rainy for a few months, but summers are maybe the best anywhere, and there are basically none of the weather extremes, disasters, or bugs that other places deal with.  All I know is that I'm never leaving.  There are a lot of places that are nice to visit.  To live?  I'll stick with this one. 

That is very appealing, the closest city to me is Nashville. We use to go to Nashville fairly often when I was in my early teens. We’d go to football games because my cousin was a majorette at TSU. I’ve been several times over the last 10 years, for various reasons that never including Nashville being somewhere I really wanted to visit lol. Mister loves Nashville. I do not.

We have also run away to Little Rock, AR, just because it’s fairly close and we wanted to get away from home for 2 or 3 days. And Hot Springs. But there’s only so many times I want to go to Hot Springs.

Other than those places, we’d have to drive around 6 hours at least to get to somewhere interesting to me. 

I would not do well with that weather. A few days in a row of rainy weather starts to affect my mood. I need sunshine!

Just for the record: we do have all that good stuff just as close by here as well! The area I live in is quite diverse though African Americans are under represented*. And no matter which way you cut it, it is quite expensive to live here. 


* The only reason I more or less know the ethnic breakdown of my county is because they reported the vaccination statistics by age and ethnic groups. So that is when I found out the people of Asian heritage are the largest group by a few percent over Caucasian. Next are Hispanic, and then some small other groups among which African American came in at 3% only. 

[Cookies Galore]

I live in navy blue southeastern Pennsylvania, in one of the most populated and wealthy counties in the state. There's farmland in the western part of the county but I live in an urban suburb of Philadelphia. Lots of rowhomes and semi-detached houses and the entire town is walkable, with 5,000 people in 0.8 square miles. We are surrounded by larger municipalities, so you sneeze and you cross town lines. I can walk to multiple transit stations and lines, so getting to work in Philly (when I am in office) is easy. Our school district is located in one of the largest economic centers in the state, so those businesses and their associated taxes help fund our great schools. My town is the "poor" town in the three town district. I'm roughly a 30 minute drive to Center City (up to 45 minutes with traffic) and 30ish minutes to Philly International. We are the latest in the line of river towns that are former mill towns facing a resurgence of activity and investment from people coming in, so we bought our house at the right time seven years ago!

I think southeastern PA is a great central location for a variety of places: 1.5 hours from the Pocono mountains, 2.5 hours to the Endless Mountains region further north of the Poconos, 1.5 - 3 hours from NJ, DE, and MD beaches, and a couple of hours to NYC, Baltimore, and DC. We go to the Finger Lakes every couple of years for vacation because it's only a 4 hour drive. There are a ton of recreational trails nearby and I'm close to Valley Forge National Historic Park, so I do a lot of hiking there there.

[Bonny]

Apr 14, 2023 13:58:16 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 17:53:30 GMT -5 Tiny said:

What does Big City mean? 50K people, 100K people, 1 million people?


FWIW: there are racist people just about everywhere. Some areas though people are a little more polite about it.

As a woman (who often feels like I'm being treated like a second class citizen even though I'm white - or maybe it's just some men who think women are too stupid or helpless or something...) I am aware of some of the pressures that are put on people who aren't white (or don't fit into the "worldview" of how men and women should act) that other people exert. 

Not to mention that most places in America are still dealing with the fallout from the past - redlining, segregation, what's being taught in schools, and probably a lot of things I don't know about.  There's a heck ton of whitewashing that older Americans were taught as fact and feel just fine with and don't see why non-whites object to it.     OR are uncomfortable with it - but don't know what to say about it/what to do about it when it comes up.  

Big city means big enough to have a lot of options for shopping and a variety of things to do for fun.

I know racists are everywhere. I’ve always know we had more than our share in the area I live in. But, maybe I’m naive, because a lot of things that have been happening over the last several years, where people started showing their true colors and other people supporting them, I never saw any of that coming.

What's humbling is when one catches oneself being a little racist.   Just told my DH about an assumption I made about a woman in my yoga group. Thought she looked a little asian and assumed because she lived in the next town over which has a large Filipino population that she was Filipino. Nope, Mexican.   Glad I didn't say anything stupid!

[Deleted]

I've been reading all the posts here to DH and we had a great conversation last night about where we want to be, in what kind of housing, and why.  Obviously there are no perfect places - just places that tick off some of the boxes like diversity, affordability, job availability, entertainment options, proximity to family and such.  

In several ways we are pretty fortunate.  As retirees, the job market is irrelevant and we have no family to be near, so Houston still is a good fit for us.  

[chiver78]

Apr 14, 2023 15:35:12 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Apr 14, 2023 13:58:16 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Big city means big enough to have a lot of options for shopping and a variety of things to do for fun.

I know racists are everywhere. I’ve always know we had more than our share in the area I live in. But, maybe I’m naive, because a lot of things that have been happening over the last several years, where people started showing their true colors and other people supporting them, I never saw any of that coming.

What's humbling is when one catches oneself being a little racist.   Just told my DH about an assumption I made about a woman in my yoga group. Thought she looked a little asian and assumed because she lived in the next town over which has a large Filipino population that she was Filipino. Nope, Mexican.  [img src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png" alt="" class="smile"]  Glad I didn't say anything stupid!

but you recognized the problem and want to do better. don't beat yourself up too much about it, you're already ahead of the curve. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 14, 2023 15:35:25 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

I've been reading all the posts here to DH and we had a great conversation last night about where we want to be, in what kind of housing, and why.  Obviously there are no perfect places - just places that tick off some of the boxes like diversity, affordability, job availability, entertainment options, proximity to family and such.  

In several ways we are pretty fortunate.  As retirees, the job market is irrelevant and we have no family to be near, so Houston still is a good fit for us.  

I am glad I started this thread and that people are sharing.

Having enough space between me and my neighbors to do my thing without worrying about disturbing my neighbors is important to me. Having my own outdoor space is also important to me, so I want to live in a house. I am over having a big lot like we do here though. It’s “only” 3/4 acre, but it’s a lot of work. Not only keeping the yard neat, but all the flowerbeds and stuff that were already here are work too. My first house has a nice size backyard, big enough for dogs and children to run around in, and still have a small vegetable garden out of the way, even another outdoor seating area. But it wasn’t so big that it was difficult to keep up with all the trimming and stuff to keep it neat, nor did I need a riding mower like we do here. 

Ideally, I’d like to live closer to a beach, even if it’s still a couple hours away. I don’t want to live somewhere it gets colder in winter than it does here, or has a lot of snow. As scary as I am with critters, I still love being outside in nature, or trying to lol, so I’d like to live somewhere with pretty scenery nearby, especially water, even if it’s just creeks and streams.

Also somewhere with diversity. When I was a child, my Mom moved us twice to neighborhoods where we were the only black family. The first time I was about 7yo and one day the little girl I’d been playing with told me her parents said she couldn’t play with me anymore because I was black. The second time, I was a teenager. My ex husband and I lived with my Mom for a year or so after we got married and I was pregnant with my oldest. Something was wrong with my car, and if you didn’t already have enough momentum going up a hill, you had to back back down to the bottom and start over lol.

One night when I was big and pregnant, we were leaving my Mom’s house and got stuck on the hill going out of the neighborhood. When we got stuck, a white man ran over to the car with a baseball bat in his hand, yelling and screaming at us, and accusing us of stealing lawn equipment from our neighbors. My ex husband was driving, and it wasn’t like he could just take off to get away from the nut, because the car was raggedy, so my very pregnant self climbed to the backseat to get the crowbar out of the hatch of the car, so we could defend ourselves if necessary, because he was acting such a fool with a baseball bat in his hand.

At the time, my Mom’s yard was overgrown, because she didn’t have a lawn mower at the time. I would think that if we were stealing lawn equipment, we probably would’ve at least cut our own grass.

Anyway, those experiences are why I’ve never considered moving to Mississippi even though a lot of people from Memphis do. A lot of my coworkers live in Mississippi. With my luck, I’d be the one that moved to Mississippi and had to fight with racist neighbors. Even without that, I still wouldn’t move to Mississippi, just because it’s Mississippi and I feel some type of way about Mississippi.

So yes, diversity is also on my wishlist. I would love to get to meet neighbors from other countries and cultures. I kind of envy you when you talk about those things.

Mister and I both love to eat good food, and we enjoy going out and hearing live music. So I would like to live somewhere with a lot of both options nearby. That’s mostly why I said I’d like to live near a big city, for dining and entertainment.

[nidena]

Apr 14, 2023 15:35:12 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Apr 14, 2023 13:58:16 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Big city means big enough to have a lot of options for shopping and a variety of things to do for fun.

I know racists are everywhere. I’ve always know we had more than our share in the area I live in. But, maybe I’m naive, because a lot of things that have been happening over the last several years, where people started showing their true colors and other people supporting them, I never saw any of that coming.

What's humbling is when one catches oneself being a little racist.   Just told my DH about an assumption I made about a woman in my yoga group. Thought she looked a little asian and assumed because she lived in the next town over which has a large Filipino population that she was Filipino. Nope, Mexican.  [img alt="" class="smile" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png"]  Glad I didn't say anything stupid!

Ingrained biases are a bitch.  I find myself discovering more of them that I need to sit in and tackle, each day that I work at the bank.  This is why I'm very glad that I live in the metro area of Indy.  If I lived in the sticks, those biases would grow unchecked and I'd be saying stupid shit like my cousin "Our town isn't racist.  Everybody gets along here."  Yeah, it's easy to deny racism when you live in a town that is 95% white and the one or two Black families code-switch like all get out.

If I didn't actually want to live near any family, I'd totally move out of Indiana but, thankfully, the cousin I'm closest to is not as blind to the world around us.  

[Tennesseer]

Apr 14, 2023 12:55:04 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

ok, I can better describe my current situation now. I'm awake, and caffeinated

three years ago, I moved from Cape Cod to eventually about 10min into the "mainland" in the woods near the meeting point of three SE Massachusetts counties. it's mostly quiet, with some seasonal residents, although the construction across the bogs in encroaching with its noise pollution.    MA is definitely a blue state, but there's concentrated pockets of blazing red. my former town, for instance, hosted a lot of the COVID-denier (and later, election-denier) yahoos at a high traffic Dunkin Donuts next to one of the Cape Cod bridges. fun stuff. my current spot, while in a pretty blue town, is definitely redneck central. there's a handful of houses adorned *STILL* with Trump 2020 stuff, FJB flags, and the like.      I don't put out flags of any kind, and just keep to myself. 

as far as diversity, this South Coast area of the state has a large Portuguese heritage. where finnime lives is closer than I am to where a huge Portuguese festival is held every summer - Madeira Fest/Feast of the Blessed Sacrament. there's also a large Native presence in the Wampanoag Tribe, based in Mashpee on the Cape. as far as other diversity, we get a lot of tourists from all over. but there really isn't a lot of Asian or Indian folks, and my little hovel in the woods is mostly lily white redneck. other than the assholes next door, this neighborhood definitely looks out for each other. I have probably left my car unlocked more often than I've locked it overnight, and I have definitely left the keys still in the lock when I closed the side door for the night. 

until 2015, I lived within 20min of where I grew up - in a town along the famed Boston Marathon route, west of Boston. I'm only about an hour away now, and am actually heading up there tomorrow to see my hair stylist. other than a 6mo stint in college where I lived in Providence, RI, my home address has always been in MA. 

oh - and "Massa-two-shits" came from a bus driver we had, during a jr HS class trip to Washington, DC. shit, so 30y ago, not 20. yeesh. anyway, this poor guy tried and tried to pronounce Massachusetts correctly and just wasn't getting it. so he just called us "the kids from Massa-two-shits" which we all thought was fantastic as a group of 12yo kids. lol.... 

If you ever find yourself in Newark, NJ, there is an area of the city called the Ironbound section. On the other side of the railroad bridge one drives under to get there, there is a very large Portuguese community. Plenty of very good Portuguese and Spanish restaurants. Good food.