Differences Between Our States

[Pink Cashmere]

I envy those of you that live in states that aren’t declaring war on women, transgender people, brown and black people, and all the other crazy things are being proposed and passed these days to take away citizens’ rights to their own autonomy regarding their body and their lives, and just be who they are, and live in peace if they aren’t harming anyone.

I also envy those of you that live somewhere that you can go about your daily life without having to always be on guard and pay close attention to your surroundings when you are out and about, or  even on your own property. I know some people live like that, because some posters here are appalled when those of us that live in areas with a lot of crime, talk about what it’s like. Those posters can’t imagine living like we do, and I can’t imagine the freedom of living like they do. 

If you live in one of those wonderful states, do you mind sharing what state it is? I understand that the crime thing is more of a local thing, moreso than a whole state being like that. California is a state that comes to mind first, when I think of where else in this country I might like to live, but I can’t afford to live in California.

I also know that I can research all of our states and get some answers, but I’d like to hear from anyone here that is willing to share. 

[Tennesseer]

I was born and raised in Massachusetts.  The first presidential election I voted in was the 1972 election between Richard Nixon and George McGovern.  I voted in Massachusetts for McGovern.  McGovern only won the state of Massachusetts and the District of Columbia.

I still consider myself a Masshole (as some folks like to call people from Massachusetts).   I also lived and worked in Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire before relocating to Memphis, TN at the request of my employer.

[chiver78]

other than a 6mo co-op job in college, and all of my various work travels, I'm a born and raised Masshole. I'm also a dual Canadian citizen, and have spent a fair amount of time in Canada where I have family. other than said work and family travels, I've lived my entire life in the US. 

I'm happy to share about my life in MA, if anyone wants to know

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 15:34:10 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I was born and raised in Massachusetts.  The first presidential election I voted in was the 1972 election between Richard Nixon and George McGovern.  I voted in Massachusetts for McGovern.  McGovern only won the state of Massachusetts and the District of Columbia.

I still consider myself a Masshole (as some folks like to call people from Massachusetts).   I also lived and worked in Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire before relocating to Memphis, TN at the request of my employer.

Since you now live in the same general area I do, what do you think about living here, in comparison to the other places you’ve lived?

As an adult, I’ve met a lot of people that moved here from other places, and I am always surprised when most of them say they like it here. I’m always like “whyyyyyy” lol. And that was even before crime got so bad in Memphis.

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 15:38:28 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

other than a 6mo co-op job in college, and all of my various work travels, I'm a born and raised Masshole. I'm also a dual Canadian citizen, and have spent a fair amount of time in Canada where I have family. other than said work and family travels, I've lived my entire life in the US. 

I'm happy to share about my life in MA, if anyone wants to know

You said that like you don’t even really know me lol. I’ve said many times here that I’m very curious about people and their lives. Especially about people whose lives and where they live are very different from me, my life and where I live.

So even if nobody else’s wants to hear it, I DO!

[chiver78]

Apr 13, 2023 16:18:25 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 15:38:28 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

other than a 6mo co-op job in college, and all of my various work travels, I'm a born and raised Masshole. I'm also a dual Canadian citizen, and have spent a fair amount of time in Canada where I have family. other than said work and family travels, I've lived my entire life in the US. 

I'm happy to share about my life in MA, if anyone wants to know

You said that like you don’t even really know me lol. I’ve said many times here that I’m very curious about people and their lives. Especially about people whose lives and where they live are very different from me, my life and where I live.

So even if nobody else’s wants to hear it, I DO!

lmao! that comment was made for the hoi polloi.  I know you see a bunch of my stuff, bc FB. but for real, that offer was made for anyone and everyone - ask me about Massa-two-shits, according to a bus driver 20y ago haha. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 16:24:37 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Apr 13, 2023 16:18:25 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

You said that like you don’t even really know me lol. I’ve said many times here that I’m very curious about people and their lives. Especially about people whose lives and where they live are very different from me, my life and where I live.

So even if nobody else’s wants to hear it, I DO!

lmao! that comment was made for the hoi polloi.  I know you see a bunch of my stuff, bc FB. but for real, that offer was made for anyone and everyone - ask me about Massa-two-shits, according to a bus driver 20y ago haha. 

I had to Google “hoi polloi”. Which emphasizes how much I love how much I learn, big and small, from chatting on these boards.

So yes, do tell about Massa-two-shits. Please and thank you.

[TheOtherMe]

I live in red state Iowa and really dislike it.  I moved here in 2009 and it has changed from sort of okay to horrendous when it comes to women's rights, LGBQT rights, education, guns, etc.  

Just today, the State House passed legislation to allow guns in more places, including schools.  I do not understand the thought process.  So the solution to school shootings is to allow guns in schools?  I wrote my representative about it and she told me she is a proponent of the 2nd amendment and would vote for people to have guns anywhere.

I don't agree with her on much but I was shocked when I wrote her about my opposition to out trans kids at school.  She told me she loves all kids and my problem was that I put labels on kids and no child should be labeled.  Isn't that what the legislature did when it singled out trans kids?

[Deleted]

Apr 13, 2023 15:22:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I envy those of you that live in states that aren’t declaring war on women, transgender people, brown and black people, and all the other crazy things are being proposed and passed these days to take away citizens’ rights to their own autonomy regarding their body and their lives, and just be who they are, and live in peace if they aren’t harming anyone.

I also envy those of you that live somewhere that you can go about your daily life without having to always be on guard and pay close attention to your surroundings when you are out and about, or  even on your own property. I know some people live like that, because some posters here are appalled when those of us that live in areas with a lot of crime, talk about what it’s like. Those posters can’t imagine living like we do, and I can’t imagine the freedom of living like they do. 

Damn sure that's not Texas, but I love Houston anyway.  It's not for the faint of heart but we are bluer than the rest of the state and home to a lot of amazing folks.  It's a trade-off for sure.  

[NastyWoman]

Well, for the last 27 or so years I have lived in CA and I like it here. If it were not for the facts that (1) I no longer have any family living in any part of the Americas, and (2) I am not convinced this country will not continue on the trumpian slide I wouldn't feel any need to leave.  
I do feel safe here and, while it is by no means perfect, it fits with my life philosophy (live and let live and be kind). It is however an expensive place to live, especially for those coming from many if not all other states as selling their home might barely provide a down payment for a smaller home here.

I feel quite safe here even if it is not as safe as Singapore, my previous residence, but it is safer than Bangkok (my home before that). I expect that safety and freedom wise there will not be much change for me once I move to Europe. As with all my moves I will miss my friends/local "family". I will also miss my tree-house condo and the wonderful Bay Area climate. If I could take all these along with me life would be perfect but we can't have it all can we now...

[empress of self-improvement]

Yeah. I'm a Masshole now. I was born in New Hampshire but there is no way in hell I can ever go back there and not shoot somebody.The ignorance is astounding! I used to think I'd move to South Dakota once DH kicked the bucket. That dream has been shot to shit. I don't know where I want to go but I'm starting to think it's not the continental US. What country reveres fat women? I'll move there.

[TheOtherMe]

Apr 13, 2023 16:58:51 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

. What country reveres fat women? I'll move there.

When you figure that out, we can go together.  

[grumpyhermit]

Born in Mass, lived primarily in Maine until I was around 30, and currently in CT. 

Maine was a bit more conservative overall, but still pretty decent regarding most civil rights things. I haven't paid super close attention to state politics since leaving, but I think things have generally gotten better now that  Le Page is out of office and they elected a Dem Governor. The one big blight remaining is that they can't seem out out Susan Collins out of her senate seat. 

Connecticut is blue, blue, and I have no complaints at the State level. They have pretty progressive laws in place for LGBT and abortion access. 

Locally I live in a city, so I wouldn't feel great about traipsing around after dark like I would have when I was still in Maine. Being able to go out at night without a care, and actually being able to see stars, are what I miss the most about a more rural state. Light pollution here sucks. 

[Opti]

I grew up in Illinois, went to college in Indiana and moved to NJ after college. I've lived in 5 different counties in NJ so I feel I know NJ better than I do Illinois or Indiana.

Politics are local and regional. Even though I live in a blue state I think all or most of the counties and towns I lived in were actually red i.e. a Republican majority. I preferred suburban Illinois and my parts of NJ over Indiana even though I lived in a college town. (I lived there year-round after my Bachelor's degree.) Things are far from perfect and there are crime ridden areas of NJ. Some worse than others. I would avoid parts of Plainfield, Camden, and Newark just to name a few. Some parts of Plainfield NJ are old and historic so not so crime ridden. NJ has micro areas even in towns as you will find certain parts of a town might go by different names and have different fire companies, etc. Very different from what I grew up in Illinois. I think NJ politics are next level and much more complicated and corrupt in some areas than Chicago. 

What I love about NJ is I feel if you really want to find something, it is here in NJ somewhere. The restaurants and shops span many countries, cuisines and ethnicities. If you ever want to adventure here in my part of NJ I'd be happy to be your tour guide. It is way pricey to live here but the food, history, and possibilities IMO are pretty stellar. NJ has forests, beaches, and even the lowest mountain range in the US. Lots of cool stuff here and nearby. 

[haapai]

I live in Michigan where the state isn't declaring war on anyone.  The residents and the winter are a different story. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Apr 13, 2023 17:18:36 GMT -5 grumpyhermit said:

Born in Mass, lived primarily in Maine until I was around 30, and currently in CT. 

Maine was a bit more conservative overall, but still pretty decent regarding most civil rights things. I haven't paid super close attention to state politics since leaving, but I think things have generally gotten better now that  Le Page is out of office and they elected a Dem Governor. The one big blight remaining is that they can't seem out out Susan Collins out of her senate seat. 

Connecticut is blue, blue, and I have no complaints at the State level. They have pretty progressive laws in place for LGBT and abortion access. 

Locally I live in a city, so I wouldn't feel great about traipsing around after dark like I would have when I was still in Maine. Being able to go out at night without a care, and actually being able to see stars, are what I miss the most about a more rural state. Light pollution here sucks. 

If I had my way and could do it, I’d like to live in a small town, with easy access to a big city.

I have reservations about trying to move somewhere like that close to home, even though I live in a tri state area, because both of the bordering states’ history and current issues, don’t make me feel like I’d do any better living and be safer from all the idiocy, in either of them.

I don’t feel like it’s too much to ask for people to leave me and mine alone, regardless of our skin color, gender and sexuality, let out voices be heard with who we vote for, and just let us live our lives in peace, even if they really don’t like us for some ignorant, superficial reason, when we aren’t doing anything to harm anyone.

[chiver78]

Apr 13, 2023 16:35:08 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 16:24:37 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

lmao! that comment was made for the hoi polloi.  I know you see a bunch of my stuff, bc FB. but for real, that offer was made for anyone and everyone - ask me about Massa-two-shits, according to a bus driver 20y ago haha. 

I had to Google “hoi polloi”. Which emphasizes how much I love how much I learn, big and small, from chatting on these boards.

So yes, do tell about Massa-two-shits. Please and thank you.

another day, I promise. maybe tomorrow. but I almost KWIT my job this afternoon, and I'm winding down. remind me though, I'll spin an old tale right now, I just want to go to bed and sleep til Monday. 

[grumpyhermit]

Apr 13, 2023 17:33:09 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 17:18:36 GMT -5 grumpyhermit said:

Born in Mass, lived primarily in Maine until I was around 30, and currently in CT. 

Maine was a bit more conservative overall, but still pretty decent regarding most civil rights things. I haven't paid super close attention to state politics since leaving, but I think things have generally gotten better now that  Le Page is out of office and they elected a Dem Governor. The one big blight remaining is that they can't seem out out Susan Collins out of her senate seat. 

Connecticut is blue, blue, and I have no complaints at the State level. They have pretty progressive laws in place for LGBT and abortion access. 

Locally I live in a city, so I wouldn't feel great about traipsing around after dark like I would have when I was still in Maine. Being able to go out at night without a care, and actually being able to see stars, are what I miss the most about a more rural state. Light pollution here sucks. 

If I had my way and could do it, I’d like to live in a small town, with easy access to a big city.

I have reservations about trying to move somewhere like that close to home, even though I live in a tri state area, because both of the bordering states’ history and current issues, don’t make me feel like I’d do any better living and be safer from all the idiocy, in either of them.

I don’t feel like it’s too much to ask for people to leave me and mine alone, regardless of our skin color, gender and sexuality, let out voices be heard with who we vote for, and just let us live our lives in peace, even if they really don’t like us for some ignorant, superficial reason, when we aren’t doing anything to harm anyone.

Even in New England small towns can be hit or miss for bigots. As soon as you step out of the big populations centers your odds of encountering racists, sexists, homophobic, or transphobic idiots goes up. 

I'm white, and don't wear my politics on my bumper sticker, so I'm lucky in that  for the most part I would be able to relocate, keep to myself, and not run into any obvious issues. 

I would love to move somewhere more rural, but while Western Mass fits that bill in someways, the current real estate market puts it out of reach. 

[raeoflyte]

I live in Colorado in a Denver suburb. Mild weather, good jobs, Marijuana is legal (and I think even mushrooms medicinally - I dont follow it much). Lots of outdoor recreation options, very blue politically in the Denver/Boulder area.

Downsides we've become almost a vhcola. Median home price is $575k in Denver and the median household income is $78k. Also outside of the metro area - it's very red. Lauren Boebert was elected on just the other side of the state, so realistically it wouldn't take much for the state to vote red.

And while I feel safe physically from most crime I also think that's a mindset in my case. I felt safe at my last house even though my car was stolen and crime against property was common. I feel safe at my current home and will walk home after dark alone from our little downtown area a couple miles away. But my in-laws are so scared they run around their house and everywhere else with loaded guns and they live 10 minutes from me. They're older so maybe an easier target, but if you asked them the answer would be very different.

[Tiny]

Maybe you need to look into a big "Blue City" and it's suburbs/surrounding area...

This video talks about crime statistics you may be hearing about and the ones you don't hear about...




I know Chicago doesn't get much good press... but the thing is when someone is talking about Chicago I'm never really sure if they are literally talking about the Down Town (Loop) area less than a square mile, the actual City of Chicago (234 sq miles), or are including the "Suburbs" aka the Chicago Metropolitan Area (9500 sq miles). Or the "South Side" of Chicago and some of the Southern Suburbs that never recovered from redlining and segregation.
The thing is - there's plenty of other Chicago neighborhoods and suburbs with all sorts of people (white, black, hispanic, asian, immigrants from just about everywhere, interracial, and gay families) that are nice places to live (9500 square miles..) .

Perhaps one of the suburbs of Chicago might provide what you are looking for in a place you would call home? (I'm thinking you want to see more than concrete and steel with a postage stamp yard.)

I can't recommend one - because it would be up to your wants and needs. I like my suburbs crazy high population density (and concrete and postage stamp yards and trains, planes, and automobiles).

Oh, yeah, there's also a bit of North West Indiana that is close enough to Illinois that leaving the horribleness that is Indiana is easily achieved. To date - Indiana hasn't set up roadblocks to keep people from Indiana from leaving.

Don't despair.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 13, 2023 16:14:42 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Apr 13, 2023 15:34:10 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I was born and raised in Massachusetts.  The first presidential election I voted in was the 1972 election between Richard Nixon and George McGovern.  I voted in Massachusetts for McGovern.  McGovern only won the state of Massachusetts and the District of Columbia.

I still consider myself a Masshole (as some folks like to call people from Massachusetts).   I also lived and worked in Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire before relocating to Memphis, TN at the request of my employer.

Since you now live in the same general area I do, what do you think about living here, in comparison to the other places you’ve lived?

As an adult, I’ve met a lot of people that moved here from other places, and I am always surprised when most of them say they like it here. I’m always like “whyyyyyy” lol. And that was even before crime got so bad in Memphis.

Regarding the highlighted: maybe it's because they moved from an even worse state.

Overall, I am okay in this SW corner on Tennessee. I am though starting to get appalled on a daily basis with the state's politics and Right-wing Puritanical behavior and mind-set. Tennessee government seems to forget the state has many democratic party members. It's as if Democrats and their concerns don't exist.

Racism exists here. And it exists from all races. Most times it is covert but it exists. Crime is bad in Shelby county. I feel safe in my neighborhood and often sit out front on nice evenings. I am on a first name basis with my neighbors and we get along fine.

Life could be worse. I am fortunate.

I like the weather here. For the most part winters are mild compared to historical northeast winters. This will be my 30th summer here and I am still not used to the too often excessive heat. Brutal.

Not right now but sometime in the not so distant future, I will move to New Mexico to live close to my sister and her adult children. As I age more, I will probably need assistance with some things due to age. I have been told by my sister's daughter to live close to her and she will gladly help me when necessary. I want though my independence as long as possible and not be a burden to my family. But that is all in the future.

Overall, I'm okay living in the southern center of the country and it is relatively easy to get where I need to go.

[Tiny]

Apr 13, 2023 17:33:09 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

If I had my way and could do it, I’d like to live in a small town, with easy access to a big city.

What does Big City mean? 50K people, 100K people, 1 million people?


FWIW: there are racist people just about everywhere. Some areas though people are a little more polite about it.

As a woman (who often feels like I'm being treated like a second class citizen even though I'm white - or maybe it's just some men who think women are too stupid or helpless or something...) I am aware of some of the pressures that are put on people who aren't white (or don't fit into the "worldview" of how men and women should act) that other people exert. 

Not to mention that most places in America are still dealing with the fallout from the past - redlining, segregation, what's being taught in schools, and probably a lot of things I don't know about.  There's a heck ton of whitewashing that older Americans were taught as fact and feel just fine with and don't see why non-whites object to it.     OR are uncomfortable with it - but don't know what to say about it/what to do about it when it comes up.  

[Opti]

Apr 13, 2023 17:29:01 GMT -5 haapai said:

I live in Michigan where the state isn't declaring war on anyone.  The residents and the winter are a different story. 

This is why I have no interest in returning to Illinois or parts of southern Wisconsin I'd consider living in.

[Tennesseer]

If I could afford it, I would live in Manhattan, NY.  I really am a big city guy.  I enjoyed working in Manhattan.  It was the commuting into the city from Connecticut and New Jersey that was a PITA.

living in Manhattan I could walk everywhere.  And if the walk is too far, I could take the subway or taxi.  

[Opti]

Apr 13, 2023 18:05:03 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

If I could afford it, I would live in Manhattan, NY.  I really am a big city guy.  I enjoyed working in Manhattan.  It was the commuting into the city from Connecticut and New Jersey that was a PITA.

living in Manhattan I could walk everywhere.  And if the walk is too far, I could take the subway or taxi.  

I think I'm a suburb person, but if I could afford it, I would like to live in NYC (Manhattan or possibly Brooklyn) for a year. I'd like living in downtown Princeton too.

[tallguy]

Seattle and the Puget Sound area are good, though it can be pretty expensive here too.  Northwest Washington in general should be fine, although Southwest and Eastern Washington are more conservative.  State laws do not target women and minorities because Western Washington has many more voters and they are much more liberal.  I am not a fan of the Seattle City Council, in that I think they have gone overboard in not holding people accountable for negative social behaviors.  As a result, things like in-your-face homelessness and property crime have increased.  Violent crime, however, is still well below the national average, as I recall.  Most neighborhoods are perfectly safe to walk in at night.  Some areas should probably be avoided, as in any large city.  Another benefit is that pretty much anything you want to do is no more than a day trip away.  Lakes, beaches, mountains, ocean, three national parks....  Very good restaurants, arts, and cultural attractions.  Some people complain about the weather, in that it is often gray and rainy for a few months, but summers are maybe the best anywhere, and there are basically none of the weather extremes, disasters, or bugs that other places deal with.  All I know is that I'm never leaving.  There are a lot of places that are nice to visit.  To live?  I'll stick with this one. 

[thyme4change]

Arizona is almost 50/50 - however, because of gerrymandering, the R’s are still in charge - by ONE seat. That could change in the next election- the last election was the bluest this state has ever been - it might swing back fairly easily.

[jerseygirl]

Live in northern NJ suburb mostly white but significant Chinese population (10-15%) and Indian. HCOL but people fairly highly educated with good jobs. Used to be more travel into Manhattan for jobs but less now. County and town very republican with democrats primarily in NJ in bigger cities. County well run with good schools but high property tax (ours is $17000/year and counties closer to Manhattan even higher). There’s lots of corruption in NJ which infuriates me- inner city schools get massive state money yet around 70% of kids fail math tests.
Both of us come from immigrant families snd first in family to get college degrees. We went to inner city schools but now they’re failing kids, I HATE this
Many here would go into Manhattan for restaurants theatre plays etc but many now have stopped due to increasing random crime. Hate that NY keeps touting gun laws but hear or read daily some criminal often young has been arrested for illegal gun. Ok go once week to some bulldhit program and it’s wiped from the record
In past 2-3 years crime has intruded in our outer Whitelandia suburbs. Stolen cars with 4-6 inner city folks come to a corner snd run up and down trying cars snd doors. Stealing cars from driveways ,
NJ has ocean lakes small mountains and lovely wooded areas as well as many well managed companies. If you run your life well - education, work hard etc- you can live very well here
But I despair that inner city kids are pawns for politicians and will have no chance for a good life. I HATE that passionately

[Deleted]

As others have said, individual neighborhoods vary greatly within a larger community.  I live in Houston, population 2.3 million.  But Monday night I saw the March crime report for my neighborhood - 14 total crimes reported (1 burglary, 8 thefts, 3 aggravated assaults, 2 property crimes, 0 murders, 0 rapes) in a community of 6600 homes with an estimated population of 20,000+.  Yes, there are lots of unreported crimes for a lot of difference reasons such as citizenship status, but that pretty damned amazing.  

[triciacus]

I live on the border of New Mexico and Texas, it is very different here, I live in New Mexico but work in Texas, thank god as of right now our governor and state Legislative are not taking away our rights as women, but if I go 30 miles to the doctor I do not have rights to have an abortion or anything like that.  Being that I live right near Juarez there are times we suffer from a high crime rate but for the most part it is very safe.  In El Paso where I work it is very blue, unlike most of the rest of Texas.

I was born and raised in New Jersey and worked in New York City and I loved it, but it got to be too expensive, I love where I live now because I live in a rural area where my property taxes are cheap, but I am still pretty close to a big city, I am 30 miles away from El Paso and 275 miles from Albuquerque, NM.