Please share your experiences being an executor

[tskeeter]

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

[haapai]

Mar 25, 2023 20:04:26 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

You've helped me see something that will probably come up. 

When the last of my parents dies, the bulk of their assets will probably consist of real estate and assets held in a traditional IRA.  The IRA will transform into a joint beneficiary IRA.  We will probably have to come to an agreement to split that beneficiary IRA (and how to split it) long before the estate is closed. 

My brother and I will almost certainly have different marginal tax rates.  Distributions from an inherited IRA will be far more valuable to the heir with the lower marginal tax rate.  But since the estate will almost certainly still be open, there isn't a clean and simple way to split the inherited IRA unevenly and give the heir who takes the smaller share more of the rest of the estate. 

[wvugurl26]

Also important for an IRA, you can take your share over five years but all heirs must agree. This was a problem for my BIL, two wanted to take the money over five years and two wanted it all now. The two who wanted it all now caused much higher tax bills for the other two. Like six figure tax bills.

I see it being a problem when DH's parents pass. The only thing I can say there is 3 of 4 would agree to the five year approach and I would hope the majority would win. Otherwise ugly will not begin to describe my resulting tax bill.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Mar 25, 2023 20:04:26 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

2000 hours!  So you worked on this a full 40 hour work week for a year?!? 

I really need to sit down with my aunt and talk this through better (although I do think she'll actually outlive me anyhow).  When we talked before she said it would be very easy as everything was POD or had a listed beneficiary.  The houses are all Transfer on Death Deed, so whoever gets them, I'll be like, "Here you go, it's all yours!  You clean it out...or evict the tenants or whatever" 

[haapai]

I think that my brother and I will be subject to the ten-year rule. 

I also think that we will have to split the joint beneficiary IRA into two separate beneficiary IRAs.  (We have about a year to do this.)  Agreeing to keep the joint beneficiary IRA seems like madness.  I don't understand why I've read things that say that siblings often choose to keep it joint. 

My brother is married and has kids.  I am single and childless.  My marginal tax rate is 10% lower than his.  If we kept it joint, we'd probably have to agree to take equal distributions simultaneously or it would be a record-keeping nightmare.  That would probably have the effect of locking us in to taking distributions of one tenth of the account the first year, one ninth the second year, and so on.  It's not hard to imagine the fights and ill feelings that can erupt from this. 

[finnime]

Fidelity split my mother's IRA evenly among the 5 of us, leaving us each with an IRA BDA with which we could do what we liked, including leaving it invested or taking a 5-year distribution. It was quite painless.

[haapai]

Mar 25, 2023 20:04:26 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

I am appropriately terrified. 

Can I ask for details?  Did your dad live close to you?  Please tell me that emptying the home and readying it for sale accounted for a lot of that time spent settling the estate.  Were you still employed? 

[tskeeter]

Mar 29, 2023 12:28:34 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Mar 25, 2023 20:04:26 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

2000 hours!  So you worked on this a full 40 hour work week for a year?!? 

I really need to sit down with my aunt and talk this through better (although I do think she'll actually outlive me anyhow).  When we talked before she said it would be very easy as everything was POD or had a listed beneficiary.  The houses are all Transfer on Death Deed, so whoever gets them, I'll be like, "Here you go, it's all yours!  You clean it out...or evict the tenants or whatever" 

Yup. 2,000 hours.

DW and I were co-executors, so these hours are for two people.  Overall, we’re looking at about 12 hours per week per executor over 18 months or so.

It sounds like your aunt’s estate is likely to be easier than my Dad’s.  Dad had assets in two states, the assets in one state had to go through probate just as the pandemic was starting, when the probate court was trying to figure out what their new procedures were going to be, there were two houses to clean out, prepare for sale, and sell (neither of the states where houses were located allowed TOD deeds), two estate sales, a life insurance policy, two trusts to settle, stock that was held in certificate form (had to open a new brokerage account to sell that stock), cancel all the services and subscriptions that were on autopay, and request refunds for unused services (insurance), tax returns, etc.

Although there are TOD’s and beneficiaries, you’ll need to deal with compiling an inventory of assets, including valuation of the assets, notification of creditors, sale/disposal of personal property, tax returns, transferring title to real estate and paying the final bills.  In addition, you’ll probably find a couple of things you didn’t expect to deal with.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Mar 29, 2023 12:28:34 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Mar 25, 2023 20:04:26 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

2000 hours!  So you worked on this a full 40 hour work week for a year?!? 

I really need to sit down with my aunt and talk this through better (although I do think she'll actually outlive me anyhow).  When we talked before she said it would be very easy as everything was POD or had a listed beneficiary.  The houses are all Transfer on Death Deed, so whoever gets them, I'll be like, "Here you go, it's all yours!  You clean it out...or evict the tenants or whatever" 

A friend of mine was telling me about an estate she was the executor for.  Her friend (the one who died) was afraid there would be a battle between the second wife (first had died) and the children from his first wife.  The battle came from left field, his brother.  

When all was said and done, it took her 10 years to settle the estate.  Friend charged the estate $100k for her work, and when the heirs started to object, their lawyer told them that they were getting off cheap, as she could have charged her going rate as a VP in accounting of a Fortune 500 company.  Had she charged her going rate, it would have cost the heirs about $1M.  Friend said it was a HUGE time suck that just could not be resolved and put aside.

She said she has been the executor of 7 estates and now knows the pitfalls of how to make this easier for the executors.  For instance, for her mom’s estate, her mom named friend AND her sister executors. Y using and rather than or, each sister (who lived a country apart) had to sign off on everything, even if they were in agreement.  To complicate the matter even more, mom’s accounts were not at banks where they had a local office in both places.  

It sounds like there are enough moving parts that we are starting to think about changing this ourselves. 

[tskeeter]

Mar 29, 2023 14:16:22 GMT -5 haapai said:

Mar 25, 2023 20:04:26 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Being an executor is a time consuming task.

My Dad did a pretty good job of preparing his estate and my siblings were very cooperative.  Even so, settling the estate required over 2,000 hours of work and took over 18 months.

I am appropriately terrified. 

Can I ask for details?  Did your dad live close to you?  Please tell me that emptying the home and readying it for sale accounted for a lot of that time spent settling the estate.  Were you still employed? 

One of the complications was that Dad had two houses.  One about five miles from us and the other one about 750 miles from us.  Of course, the house he’d lived in for 40 years and that had 40 years worth of stuff was the one that was further away.  We’d drive up, spend between two and six weeks on site, then go home for a couple of weeks to take care of things there.  With the multi- state estate, we ended up consulting with an estate attorney in each state to make sure we were doing things correctly.

We found that disposal of personal property was a challenge.  Unless the estate has lots of antiques, fine art, or guns, most estate sale companies aren’t interested.  There isn’t any market for things like sterling silver or fine China.  Dad’s Corelle dishes sold for more than the set of China.  We were fortunate to find a sale company to help us.  They spent about three days pricing things and another two days conducting the sale.  Part of the sale contract was that the sale company would leave the house and the garage broom clean.  After the sale, the sale company spent another half day hauling everything that remained to the .  Total revenue from the sale was about $14K.  Sale and disposal expenses ran about $10K.  So the net to the estate was about $4K.  Most folks can expect to have to DIY a sale, donate the personal property, or haul it to the landfill.  

Fortunately, DW and I were both retired when Dad passed away.  If we had still been working, it would have been a lot more challenging and would have taken even longer.  And we would have had to hire people to do all the repairs and cleaning the DW and I did.  Managing that kind of activity from a good distance away would have required that we hire someone to do the on-site coordination of all of the contractors doing repairs, maintenance, and cleaning.

[tskeeter]

Apr 4, 2023 1:49:40 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Mar 29, 2023 12:28:34 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

2000 hours!  So you worked on this a full 40 hour work week for a year?!? 

I really need to sit down with my aunt and talk this through better (although I do think she'll actually outlive me anyhow).  When we talked before she said it would be very easy as everything was POD or had a listed beneficiary.  The houses are all Transfer on Death Deed, so whoever gets them, I'll be like, "Here you go, it's all yours!  You clean it out...or evict the tenants or whatever" 

A friend of mine was telling me about an estate she was the executor for.  Her friend (the one who died) was afraid there would be a battle between the second wife (first had died) and the children from his first wife.  The battle came from left field, his brother.  

When all was said and done, it took her 10 years to settle the estate.  Friend charged the estate $100k for her work, and when the heirs started to object, their lawyer told them that they were getting off cheap, as she could have charged her going rate as a VP in accounting of a Fortune 500 company.  Had she charged her going rate, it would have cost the heirs about $1M.  Friend said it was a HUGE time suck that just could not be resolved and put aside.

She said she has been the executor of 7 estates and now knows the pitfalls of how to make this easier for the executors.  For instance, for her mom’s estate, her mom named friend AND her sister executors. Y using and rather than or, each sister (who lived a country apart) had to sign off on everything, even if they were in agreement.  To complicate the matter even more, mom’s accounts were not at banks where they had a local office in both places.  

It sounds like there are enough moving parts that we are starting to think about changing this ourselves. 

Great point regarding co-executors.  Originally one of my brothers and I were co-executors of Dad’s estate.  Rather than trying to deal with getting signatures from people who lived 2,000 miles apart, my brother declined to act as co-executor so DW, who was the alternate executor, could assume the co-executor role.  That simplified the signature process for everything we had to sign.  I know co-executors sounds like a good idea.  But a single executor is a lot more efficient .

[plugginaway22]

My father died 2 years ago and my mother is 85 and seems to be going downhill. My sister and I are co-executors of an estate that we know VERY little about. Dad was a private man and would only ever say that we would inherit a nice amount. Since his death, my mother has continued with some of his ways and she just doesn't want to talk about anything financial. She is managing by still writing paper checks to pay everything. NOTHING is on-line. We know where the money is, not how it is titled, and that the house is paid off but beyond that?....Keeping this thread bookmarked.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Apr 4, 2023 1:14:43 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Although there are TOD’s and beneficiaries, you’ll need to deal with compiling an inventory of assets, including valuation of the assets, notification of creditors, sale/disposal of personal property, tax returns, transferring title to real estate and paying the final bills.  In addition, you’ll probably find a couple of things you didn’t expect to deal with.

Why do you have to value all the assets?  They have no debts and all three mortgages are paid off, but they have a lot of stuff!  (two farms and machinery in addition to a house in Arizona).  It's all spelled out in the will what each kid gets from the assets.

[wvugurl26]

I had to fill out an asset inventory form listing the value of the value of the estate's assets even though grandma's will specified what was to be done with those assets. Certain things went in certain sections depending on how the assets were titled. If they were joint or had a beneficiary it had to be listed but could be excluded from claims. The form had to be notarized.

It was explained to me that the value set the value of the estate for creditors claims. Also what I listed for the house establishes the value at her death so if we sell for more than that we'd owe capital gains taxes.

Also this didn't apply to us, but if the total was over $11 million in her state, we'd owe estate taxes.

I had 60 days to complete the estate inventory form from when we filed a copy of her will with the probate office. I also have to provide an accounting of the receipts and disbursements.

I'm not certain the remaining assets are worth sending to auction. I would consider a DIY but the house is not in a good location for that. The place they want to use is also at least 3 months behind. I saw the check my uncle received from selling his stuff and it was only $5k.

The 300 piece glass collection is being taken by a guy who does just that. He takes 25%. He also comes and gets it and packs it up.

My uncle is moving out mid month. Once he's gone, I'll see what is truly left and make an assessment.

[raeoflyte]

I'm the executor for my aunt and uncles estate. They don't have kids, there aren't a lot of nieces/nephews. I'm assuming I was asked because I spent quite a bit of time with my aunt as a kid and I look like I have my shit together.

I'm sure I'm underestimating things, but I don't expect anyone to be fighting over stuff. We're all old enough to have too much stuff already. My dad and aunts and uncles siblings are welcome to take anything they want. I mostly plan on hiring an estate sale company to sell off stuff and then sell the house. The rest of their money will go to caring for the only "issue" which is that they own a wild mustang that I'll need to continue to care for. He's halter broke and goes on walks. So Ill move him to a stable near by and be happy to have another critter to walk.

My aunt and uncle could live another 20 years too, and spend everything down on assisted living/snf care. I feel like I have the basics for what I need to know at this point knowing that almost everything could change before we ever get there.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Apr 4, 2023 9:26:00 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I'm the executor for my aunt and uncles estate. They don't have kids, there aren't a lot of nieces/nephews. I'm assuming I was asked because I spent quite a bit of time with my aunt as a kid and I look like I have my shit together.

I'm sure I'm underestimating things, but I don't expect anyone to be fighting over stuff. We're all old enough to have too much stuff already. My dad and aunts and uncles siblings are welcome to take anything they want. I mostly plan on hiring an estate sale company to sell off stuff and then sell the house. The rest of their money will go to caring for the only "issue" which is that they own a wild mustang that I'll need to continue to care for. He's halter broke and goes on walks. So Ill move him to a stable near by and be happy to have another critter to walk.

My aunt and uncle could live another 20 years too, and spend everything down on assisted living/snf care. I feel like I have the basics for what I need to know at this point knowing that almost everything could change before we ever get there.

That's kind of my thought process too.  I'm not sure I need to dig into this a lot at this point as my aunt just turned 70.  My uncle will probably go first (he's 78 and has some health issues), and I'm guessing after that happens she'll probably get rid of a lot of the farm machinery.  I can see her asking her daughter move in with her at some point.  Her daughter has always rented and never really had her shit together financially, but she's a home health care nurse so it's kind of an ideal situation especially if she's going to inherit that house anyhow (I'm not sure who is getting each property yet)

She also has a lot of animals.  Cattle, chickens, horses, goats, cats...  I'm guessing my cousin and I would just split them up between us. One of the horses is technically mine anyhow.  But again, if it's 20 years from now they will all be gone.  Not saying there won't be new ones though!

[tskeeter]

Apr 4, 2023 7:27:17 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Apr 4, 2023 1:14:43 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Although there are TOD’s and beneficiaries, you’ll need to deal with compiling an inventory of assets, including valuation of the assets, notification of creditors, sale/disposal of personal property, tax returns, transferring title to real estate and paying the final bills.  In addition, you’ll probably find a couple of things you didn’t expect to deal with.

Why do you have to value all the assets?  They have no debts and all three mortgages are paid off, but they have a lot of stuff!  (two farms and machinery in addition to a house in Arizona).  It's all spelled out in the will what each kid gets from the assets.

Determining the value of the assets establishes the cost that the heirs  will use to compute the gain when they sell the asset.  The valuation can also be important to determine if the estate, or part of the estate, must go through probate (remember my comment regarding things you didn’t expect?).  The valuation may become important if you ever have to defend your actions as executor.  It is also possible that state law may require that all heirs be provided a valued inventory of the estate assets.  I know that I got a valued inventory of my uncle’s estate (he was a resident of MN) so MN may require it.  Issues like this are why one of every executor’s first actions should be a consultation with an estate attorney.  That way you’ll know what you are required to do and what it is recommended you do.

[TheOtherMe]

The valuation of the estate was easy with my dad's estate because it was all in cash.  No car. Once the attorney was told about the kinds of furniture, clothes, etc. in the apartment, it was clear there was nothing of great value and he put a value on it.

The problem was that my sister, the executor, didn't know how to do the final accounting.  It's quite simple.  Money in all accounts minus money spent equals what is left.  

She kept forgetting that dad's checking account statements were coming to me and didn't include that money.  It wasn't much but she needed to know the money that had been in the account, how it had been spent and the ending balance.

[tskeeter]

Apr 4, 2023 6:53:57 GMT -5 plugginaway22 said:

My father died 2 years ago and my mother is 85 and seems to be going downhill. My sister and I are co-executors of an estate that we know VERY little about. Dad was a private man and would only ever say that we would inherit a nice amount. Since his death, my mother has continued with some of his ways and she just doesn't want to talk about anything financial. She is managing by still writing paper checks to pay everything. NOTHING is on-line. We know where the money is, not how it is titled, and that the house is paid off but beyond that?....Keeping this thread bookmarked.

Property ownership information is a matter of public record and is available upon request to the correct county office. In the county where I live, you can log on to the county assessor’s web site and look at the assessment information based on the parcel number, street address, or owner’s name.  The assessor’s ownership information is most likely the way the property is titled.  For example, the assessor’s information shows our house is owned by the Tskeeter Family Trust.  If the assessor’s information isn’t helpful, you could check with the County Recorder’s Office.

[wvugurl26]

Definitely check with the county on the title. They'll be able to help. The probate office was able to look up the title of my grandma's house and verify it would transfer to my dad/uncle.

We were uncertain if it was a transfer on death or right of survivorship.

[lurkyloo]

My dad’s estate has proved to be unexpectedly challenging. 

The lawyer who wrote the trust and Dad both thought Mom had a lifetime right to use any assets in his trust at the trustee’s discretion.  Older brother read through, had an expert look at it; the trust has no such provision    It’s set up to resolve almost immediately, rather than hang around several years as younger brother the executor had thought.

Mom will be okay, because she has her own assets and because all three kids agree that it is a priority that she be taken care of and we will support her needs jointly as necessary-but the whole point was to have money available to spend on her care even if she didn’t think it was worth it.  Her own mother died of heat stroke because she was too damn cheap to turn on the AC; this is a real concern.

I finally requested the totals, since we need them next month for a financial disclosure.  Kinda wigged out that the bulk is in a beneficiary IRA.  Can someone share their experience with distributions from an inherited IRA?  Specifically, the tax rates? It looked to me like it was taxed at a flat 37% over a certain nominal sum (15Kish).  

I was also hoping it would qualify for a see-through status allowing us to draw it down over 10 years rather than 5, but we’re waiting to hear on that.

[haapai]

Apr 15, 2023 11:34:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

My dad’s estate has proved to be unexpectedly challenging. 

The lawyer who wrote the trust and Dad both thought Mom had a lifetime right to use any assets in his trust at the trustee’s discretion.  Older brother read through, had an expert look at it; the trust has no such provision    It’s set up to resolve almost immediately, rather than hang around several years as younger brother the executor had thought.

Mom will be okay, because she has her own assets and because all three kids agree that it is a priority that she be taken care of and we will support her needs jointly as necessary-but the whole point was to have money available to spend on her care even if she didn’t think it was worth it.  Her own mother died of heat stroke because she was too damn cheap to turn on the AC; this is a real concern.

I finally requested the totals, since we need them next month for a financial disclosure.  Kinda wigged out that the bulk is in a beneficiary IRA.  Can someone share their experience with distributions from an inherited IRA?  Specifically, the tax rates? It looked to me like it was taxed at a flat 37% over a certain nominal sum (15Kish).  

I was also hoping it would qualify for a see-through status allowing us to draw it down over 10 years rather than 5, but we’re waiting to hear on that.

I don't know where you are getting 37% from unless the beneficiary of the IRA is a trust, which is a possibility that I haven't investigated yet and probably should have already checked out. 

There's an awful lot of outdated information still kicking around regarding the speed with which the beneficiaries of an inherited traditional IRA or 401(k) have to withdraw from or empty the account.  If the accounts are large and/or the number of beneficiaries small, the withdrawals required to empty it before the ten years are up can easily boost a beneficiary into a higher tax bracket. 

ETA: Upon re-reading, it occurs to me that you are probably dealing with the estate of someone who died before the new rules kicked in.  Please forgive me for not reading more carefully. 

[lurkyloo]

Apr 15, 2023 12:17:18 GMT -5 haapai said:

Apr 15, 2023 11:34:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

My dad’s estate has proved to be unexpectedly challenging. 

The lawyer who wrote the trust and Dad both thought Mom had a lifetime right to use any assets in his trust at the trustee’s discretion.  Older brother read through, had an expert look at it; the trust has no such provision    It’s set up to resolve almost immediately, rather than hang around several years as younger brother the executor had thought.

Mom will be okay, because she has her own assets and because all three kids agree that it is a priority that she be taken care of and we will support her needs jointly as necessary-but the whole point was to have money available to spend on her care even if she didn’t think it was worth it.  Her own mother died of heat stroke because she was too damn cheap to turn on the AC; this is a real concern.

I finally requested the totals, since we need them next month for a financial disclosure.  Kinda wigged out that the bulk is in a beneficiary IRA.  Can someone share their experience with distributions from an inherited IRA?  Specifically, the tax rates? It looked to me like it was taxed at a flat 37% over a certain nominal sum (15Kish).  

I was also hoping it would qualify for a see-through status allowing us to draw it down over 10 years rather than 5, but we’re waiting to hear on that.

I don't know where you are getting 37% from unless the beneficiary of the IRA is a trust, which is a possibility that I haven't investigated yet and probably should have already checked out. 

There's an awful lot of outdated information still kicking around regarding the speed with which the beneficiaries of an inherited traditional IRA or 401(k) have to withdraw from or empty the account.  If the accounts are large and/or the number of beneficiaries small, the withdrawals required to empty it before the ten years are up can easily boost a beneficiary into a higher tax bracket. 

ETA: Upon re-reading, it occurs to me that you are probably dealing with the estate of someone who died before the new rules kicked in.  Please forgive me for not reading more carefully. 

Dad passed away in 2022.  I am not sure what the current rules are, this was all based on Googling. I’m reasonably savvy about personal finance and checking that websites are legit and up to date, but I was mostly skimming around at the time.

The finance guy who handles the account said it wasn’t clear yet whether it would be a five year or ten year withdrawal period.  The IRA amounts will work out to a little under a million per beneficiary (it’s in a trust, but the trust is not the beneficiary to the best of my knowledge-I could be wrong).  It will actually most likely wind up in at least a 35% tax bracket anyway, unless DH decides to retire before I start drawing down.

Were you (or anyone else) required to take substantially equal payments, i.e. 20% a year over 5 years?

[haapai]

Not I.  My parents are still alive, so I'm paying attention only to the new rules.  My only reason for knowing anything about the old rules is to shoot down out-dated advice and suggestions. 

It's really amazing how long outdated info can be repeated by people who sound like they know what they are talking about. 

ETA:  I did some half-something googling regarding distribution requirements when a trust is the beneficiary of a traditional IRA.  Yikes!  My mind cannot handle that level of complexity -- yet.  It also appears that there are some things related to the Secure Act 2.0 of 2019 that are not particularly clear yet. 

My own reaction would be to put my head between my knees and breathe into a paper bag while imploring the universe to please let the trust part be the right kind of trust - one that allows distribution over a period longer than five years or one that simply allows the IRA to be split up among beneficiaries.  I don't even know if that later beastie exists but I'd be asking the universe for it.  

[bookkeeper]

My mother is still alive too.  I encouraged my brother to draw down her IRA while she is alive.  I didn't want to deal with a 10 year problem. We used the money for the annual gifting to the siblings and their spouses (with her approval).  It took us two years to empty it.  She paid a little bit of IRMAA tax but we felt it was worth it to clear up a small account before her death.

We have parked money in CD's for immediate access to nursing care.  She also has an annuity that will provide for the rest of her days.

[Opti]

My dad fell and is now wheelchair bound versus mostly bedridden but able to walk with a cane and drive short distances. He has told at least two people he wants to die and I am concerned. He selected my one sister to be his executor, but she will be moving out of state later this year. Only my other sister will remain in the same state as he is and she is the least financially savvy of the three of us.

I am thinking of suggesting to him to set up his affairs now and let me and my other sister be co-executors. While other sib knows more, my dad is most like me and other sister. Plus my sister is building a new home out of state and more consumed in her launching children, both who will start new jobs in yet other states. She was the executor for my mom's estate and I know it burned her out. She waited too late to reach out to me to help as a co-medical POA and even co-executor as I had a downscale job and did not live nor have the flexibility I had when I was FT IT. 

Any suggestions? (I need to do something myself as I have no executor but really nothing useful to leave behind either.) Dad suggests sometimes he has $$ he is leaving to us, but he also has chosen to live on the margins at times. I should probably ask elsewhere, but is it possible to use both VA and Medicare benefits? He is a former veteran but was not lifetime military. He has SS but did not use Medicare to extend his stay at the Rehab so probably came home earlier than he should have for insurance reasons.

[finnime]

Apr 15, 2023 11:34:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

My dad’s estate has proved to be unexpectedly challenging. 

The lawyer who wrote the trust and Dad both thought Mom had a lifetime right to use any assets in his trust at the trustee’s discretion.  Older brother read through, had an expert look at it; the trust has no such provision    It’s set up to resolve almost immediately, rather than hang around several years as younger brother the executor had thought.

Mom will be okay, because she has her own assets and because all three kids agree that it is a priority that she be taken care of and we will support her needs jointly as necessary-but the whole point was to have money available to spend on her care even if she didn’t think it was worth it.  Her own mother died of heat stroke because she was too damn cheap to turn on the AC; this is a real concern.

I finally requested the totals, since we need them next month for a financial disclosure.  Kinda wigged out that the bulk is in a beneficiary IRA.  Can someone share their experience with distributions from an inherited IRA?  Specifically, the tax rates? It looked to me like it was taxed at a flat 37% over a certain nominal sum (15Kish).  

I was also hoping it would qualify for a see-through status allowing us to draw it down over 10 years rather than 5, but we’re waiting to hear on that.

My mother died 20 years ago before she reached the magical age of RMDs. Her IRA was split among the 5 of us into IRA BDAs by Fidelity. We each had a choice about making withdrawals in 5 years or over the longer period until we reached 72(?) and had our own RMDs. From what I read above, the rules have changed by now.

At the time I had DD in college. I took the 5-year draw down and used it to fund another account while paying for DD's schooling and taking the deduction as she was a dependent. It was less messy to me than tracking the BDA over time. Plus, once the original IRA was split 5 ways it wasn't all that large.

[lurkyloo]

I wish my brother had preferentially drawn down his IRA to pay for his care while he was still alive...But, bro is in a much lower tax bracket than we are.  It does make me a little sick to my stomach to think of so much of my dad’s assets going to taxes   I’ll see about donating heavily to a couple of his preferred charities.

I am going on the assumption that the ira was left to the kids through the trust...but that may not be correct.  Dad was always so careful about these things but he lost a step after a health event in 2009 or so and the trust was poorly done.  If this best-case is operational it looks like we need to do substantially equal drawdowns over the appropriate period...missed the boat on that for 2022 but that’s grandfathered (substantially equal requirement not penalized prior to 2023).

[raeoflyte]

I just got an email with new horse boarding info for my aunt and uncles horse so I guess I'm still listed as the executor. It's still likely to be years before I have to tackle anything and so much can change in that time. But also had a moment today realizing that people my age have parents already succumbing to alzheimers which was sobering.

[haapai]

Apr 4, 2023 23:15:05 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Apr 4, 2023 6:53:57 GMT -5 plugginaway22 said:

My father died 2 years ago and my mother is 85 and seems to be going downhill. My sister and I are co-executors of an estate that we know VERY little about. Dad was a private man and would only ever say that we would inherit a nice amount. Since his death, my mother has continued with some of his ways and she just doesn't want to talk about anything financial. She is managing by still writing paper checks to pay everything. NOTHING is on-line. We know where the money is, not how it is titled, and that the house is paid off but beyond that?....Keeping this thread bookmarked.

Property ownership information is a matter of public record and is available upon request to the correct county office. In the county where I live, you can log on to the county assessor’s web site and look at the assessment information based on the parcel number, street address, or owner’s name.  The assessor’s ownership information is most likely the way the property is titled.  For example, the assessor’s information shows our house is owned by the Tskeeter Family Trust.  If the assessor’s information isn’t helpful, you could check with the County Recorder’s Office.

The registrar of deeds in my county maintains a website of all properties and their assessed and taxable values.  It's public and was utterly free the last time that I checked.  I didn't even have to create a user name and password.  The site can be used to see whether property taxes (and water bills) have been paid.  I use it when I have forgotten the names of my neighbors. 

You may have similar access to similar information.