what are you doing right now?

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2022 14:40:04 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Was on the phone with medical insurance company for an hour. We have this through company I worked for and get reimbursed for about half the cost
<snip>
After talking to 4 people and multiple response prompts I need to send in claim forms
No one knows why company isn’t paying automatically after doing this the last 5 years
<snip>

If you believe they aren't keeping their contractual promises (and you seem to have a separate issue with your employer not reimbursing your premiums promptly and my suggestion won't work for that), a threat to file a complaint with your Insurance Commissioner can have a miraculous effect.  Go to naic.org and scroll down to "Insurance Departments" and select your state.  Insurance departments track consumer complaints and will investigate if there are too many against a company.  The companies don't like that.

Years ago I had a claim for hearing aids for DS.  They were clearly covered up to $1,500 per pair.  We'd paid more than that  and had submitted documentation,  They stonewalled us every way they could.  I finally told them my next letter would be to the Insurance Commissioner if we didn't receive a check within 14 days.  They paid up.

I don't use that weapon lightly but it's highly effective.


 

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2022 12:42:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Three different cousins can't find my aunt and uncle's headstone.  I am one of the cousins.  One cousin called the woman on the board who won't let anyone else have access to the paperwork and she said they aren't buried there.  

Well, they are.  Our parents went together and bought a small headstone and held a private ceremony.  Sadly, they didn't invite any of our generation and nobody knows where it is.  It's a fairly flat stone and there is a photo of it on Find A Grave.  Mom had the ashes in her closet over an entire winter while they had the stone put up.

I've told another cousin who is on the cemetery board that there needs to be more than one person with the paperwork because this 90 something woman keeps it a secret.  I guess that is true and I guess she doesn't have it memorized.

This has to be so damn frustrating for all of you in the family.  Not buried there  I hope the board steps up and gets some sort of quality recordkeeping started before they lose anyone else 

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 27, 2022 12:47:53 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Sept 27, 2022 12:42:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Three different cousins can't find my aunt and uncle's headstone.  I am one of the cousins.  One cousin called the woman on the board who won't let anyone else have access to the paperwork and she said they aren't buried there.  

Well, they are.  Our parents went together and bought a small headstone and held a private ceremony.  Sadly, they didn't invite any of our generation and nobody knows where it is.  It's a fairly flat stone and there is a photo of it on Find A Grave.  Mom had the ashes in her closet over an entire winter while they had the stone put up.

I've told another cousin who is on the cemetery board that there needs to be more than one person with the paperwork because this 90 something woman keeps it a secret.  I guess that is true and I guess she doesn't have it memorized.

Does the cemetery have a plot map?  I know the old cemetery that contains family who died from the 1950s has one online.  

No.  This 90 something person who no longer lives there has all of the information and refuses to give it over to the board.  She is in her 90's.  She is in assisted living and doesn't have time to look any time soon.

They are hoping her kids will give it to them.

There are areas where they won't sell new plots because they don't know if they have any.

Many small cemeteries in the area have maps online.  They are extremely helpful.

[bookkeeper]

I second the idea of contacting your state's Division of Insurance.  I worked for this office in the 1990's for a while.  They have the power to suspend or cancel the insurance company's license to operate.  A call from a State Insurance Investigator usually gets someone's attention.  

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 27, 2022 14:59:37 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Sept 27, 2022 12:42:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Three different cousins can't find my aunt and uncle's headstone.  I am one of the cousins.  One cousin called the woman on the board who won't let anyone else have access to the paperwork and she said they aren't buried there.  

Well, they are.  Our parents went together and bought a small headstone and held a private ceremony.  Sadly, they didn't invite any of our generation and nobody knows where it is.  It's a fairly flat stone and there is a photo of it on Find A Grave.  Mom had the ashes in her closet over an entire winter while they had the stone put up.

I've told another cousin who is on the cemetery board that there needs to be more than one person with the paperwork because this 90 something woman keeps it a secret.  I guess that is true and I guess she doesn't have it memorized.

This has to be so damn frustrating for all of you in the family.  Not buried there  I hope the board steps up and gets some sort of quality recordkeeping started before they lose anyone else 

Very frustrating.  I don't know why but the board seems to be afraid of her.  

They don't even have a PO box.  To make a donation, I was told where the bank account was.  Two of my cousins are on the board.  Both told me today, those records will not be taken from her until they pry them from her dead body.

Since when is it a secret who is buried where?

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 27, 2022 14:53:22 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 27, 2022 14:36:13 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Please forgive me for laughing at the bolded.

Knowing that fall is here, with the cooler temps, and then dreaded winter is coming, I am inclined to enjoy these nice days as much as I can. I’m never ready for cold weather lol.

And I guess in my mind, I have all winter to catch up on doing stuff inside the house that I’m neglecting right now.

laugh away, because I know it's a completely ridiculous post. I actually don't hate winter and cold, if I'm planning to go skiing for instance. I dislike dealing with snow removal and badly plowed roads, wet paws and the mud they track, etc. but the thing that I absolutely have a hard time with is the lack of sunlight. I've been in Ireland for work, both in summer and in February. I adored that it was barely dusk when we left dinner at almost 10pm, and that the sun was already out when I got out of bed in the morning......and then that one trip in February? woof. I could easily see myself committed or suicidal after a full winter there. I *need* sunlight. the past 2y of COVID and everything, I've definitely realized what I need for my own mental health. fresh air and sunlight are at the top of that list. thankfully, my job now doesn't require me to sit in an office. 

I feel you on the need for sunlight. Too many rainy/dreary days in a row, seriously affect me and not in a good way. I NEED sunshine too.

[chiver78]

Sept 27, 2022 15:02:09 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Sept 27, 2022 12:47:53 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Does the cemetery have a plot map?  I know the old cemetery that contains family who died from the 1950s has one online.  

No.  This 90 something person who no longer lives there has all of the information and refuses to give it over to the board.  She is in her 90's.  She is in assisted living and doesn't have time to look any time soon.

They are hoping her kids will give it to them.

There are areas where they won't sell new plots because they don't know if they have any.

Many small cemeteries in the area have maps online.  They are extremely helpful.

report that board, now. this stuff is public record. whatever this crazy old lady's reasoning is for keeping it secret, that's not her call to make. 

[TheOtherMe]

I wonder where I report.  I just may do that.  

I have been told she's been like this with the records forever, but she's in her 90's now and doesn't even live there.

[chiver78]

Sept 27, 2022 15:16:52 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I wonder where I report.  I just may do that.  

I have been told she's been like this with the records forever, but she's in her 90's now and doesn't even live there.

good, please do. whatever she's been like? this isn't her call to make. this is public record information, and she can't be withholding it because "she's the keeper" or whatever excuse she gives. good luck!

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2022 15:06:41 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Sept 27, 2022 14:59:37 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

This has to be so damn frustrating for all of you in the family.  Not buried there  I hope the board steps up and gets some sort of quality recordkeeping started before they lose anyone else 

Very frustrating.  I don't know why but the board seems to be afraid of her.  

They don't even have a PO box.  To make a donation, I was told where the bank account was.  Two of my cousins are on the board.  Both told me today, those records will not be taken from her until they pry them from her dead body.

Since when is it a secret who is buried where?

I think the board has some legal exposure as the cemetery sold plots and failed to keep adequate records while taking folks hard-earned $$$.  It's sort of on the edge of fraud.  Assuming this is set up as a typical non-profit board, I truly hope they have something called directors liability coverage.  The idea that they can't sell plots in some sections because they don't know which ones are already sold is mind boggling 

[Deleted]

After breakfast we did some basic bookkeeping. Then I signed us up for AAA as both our cars are now outside of the manufacturer's roadside assistance. Then we ran by the bank to see what they needed to re-title our accounts and safety deposit box into our shiny new trust. And invested another $25 dollars at the local garden center for bird seed, aka squirrel food.

Tomorrow should be exciting too - get a haircut and write a big check to the landscaper for flagstone repair.

I have a dear former neighbor who now lives in Ft. Meyers. They have secured their condo within a retirement community and will be transferred to the community's on-site shelter. I truly want to throw up right now.

[minnesotapaintlady]

My brother is in Clearwater.  He doesn't seem super concerned though for whatever reason.  He's been through several now I guess and is getting overly confident.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2022 15:37:08 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

My brother is in Clearwater.  He doesn't seem super concerned though for whatever reason.  He's been through several now I guess and is getting overly confident.

I hope he does well through the storm.  Ian seems particularly nasty

[lurkyloo]

Sept 27, 2022 12:55:18 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Took the mutt for a walk.  She refuses to poop for me.  TD stopped back at home from the dentist and took her out for a second walk.  She’ll poop for him.  Should I be insulted?  

Depends, have you tried feeding her haribo sugar free gummi bears?  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 27, 2022 15:21:04 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Sept 27, 2022 15:06:41 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Very frustrating.  I don't know why but the board seems to be afraid of her.  

They don't even have a PO box.  To make a donation, I was told where the bank account was.  Two of my cousins are on the board.  Both told me today, those records will not be taken from her until they pry them from her dead body.

Since when is it a secret who is buried where?

I think the board has some legal exposure as the cemetery sold plots and failed to keep adequate records while taking folks hard-earned $$$.  It's sort of on the edge of fraud.  Assuming this is set up as a typical non-profit board, I truly hope they have something called directors liability coverage.  The idea that they can't sell plots in some sections because they don't know which ones are already sold is mind boggling 

Yeah I'd be pissed.  I have a right to know where my relatives are buried.

The woman is 90 years old WTF is she going to do if they march in and take them?   Does she have dirt on them or are they afraid she F-ed up her job so bad they are waiting for her to die and say "Well nothing we can do now she's dead". 

Here you go OtherMe this looks like where you would report this in Iowa

sapiciowa.org/

[lurkyloo]

I am sunburned.  I took off most of yesterday to take DS apple picking with friend and her son.  Hay ride, giant straw pile for the kids to climb around in, apple picking, tailgate lunch, then more straw pile.  Worth it 

[giramomma]

I just made an ass of myself. It's very upsetting.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 27, 2022 15:51:28 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I just made an ass of myself. It's very upsetting.

What did you do?

[chiver78]

Sept 27, 2022 15:50:55 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I am sunburned.  I took off most of yesterday to take DS apple picking with friend and her son.  Hay ride, giant straw pile for the kids to climb around in, apple picking, tailgate lunch, then more straw pile.  Worth it 

a sunburn in September in the northern hemisphere isn't a bad thing. I'm glad you agree  

[giramomma]

Sept 27, 2022 15:52:40 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 27, 2022 15:51:28 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I just made an ass of myself. It's very upsetting.

What did you do?

I was working on drafting an email out to some parents and my internet gave out. I accidentally sent out the one that was a little stronger instead of the one that was a little gentler.

I followed up with an apology and sent out the gentler one, since that was complete anyway.

I was frustrated. We met and had a plan. I thought we were all on the same page. Then I guess we weren't, and folks were thinking we should change plans.

Which, again is fine.

I just need someone to make a decision and not change their mind. We don't have the luxury of scheduling on shifting sand.

I know that I am also being more of a rule follower, but I explained my reasons why. Which, can be a little cringeworthy.

I am genuinely trying to come from a good place. I tried to communicate that.

[susana1954]

Several years ago I bought a computer bookcase of some sort for $10 on clearance at Office Depot.  I think it was a leftover piece of a computer desk, but it was fine for school even though it was blonde wood.  I brought it home after I retired and placed it next to my expresso-colored computer desk to hold the modem, phone, paper clips, etc.  It was so mismatched that I cringed every time I looked at it so my solution was not to look. 

Today I painted it!  I saw the can of spray paint that I had bought who knows when so I did it.  And it actually looks surprisingly good.  I put it in the sunroom to bake for a few days because of our humidity, but that's fine . . . it gives me time to clean the blinds that it sits in front of.  I'll do that in the next few days.  It is important to spread the fun out.

I am feeling sort of productive.

[countrygirl2]

I didn't realize there were grave plat maps on the net.

I knew my ggrandfather was buried up the road in a small town cemetery and his wife was too. Or she had his name as his wife, neither have a stone. I don't know if they are buried together, need to find out. I was going to get a small inexpensive stone for him, I will include her too. One of the workman there said where it was sorta, I still don't know, but they have numbers assigned so assume that is the way they find them.

We have a very, very strong genealogy department at our main library, my neighbor runs it. They have gotten the records from the cemeteries around and digitized everything. But didn't know it had the plat info online. I am going to look and see if they have an actual map, I'm sure it's somewhere. They have her name spelled as Druvilla and it is Drucilla, his is Elijah. But they have a lot of dads and kids named Elijah back past him, we have not been able to pin one down because the ages don't jive. He was born in 1855. I think his dad who had the young black girl is likely where the black guys ancestory fits in. I need to see if he knows anything back further about his. He was listed on a census as having a young girl housekeeper I think she was 14 or so. The only young black woman in the whole town according to the census, this was in Virginia and he was listed as a storekeeper. Someone in that time frame a bunch of census records were lost or burned, so missing stuff. But I bet there are church records somewhere. Sorted story, she, my step ggrandmother ran off and left her husband and kids and he ran off and left his wife and kids. Noone would even acknowledge them forever. But my dads sister knew the history. The bunch older then me didn't even know he was up here, that guy was researching too. He didn't believe me till I told him names and dates of his uncles and place names.

[Deleted]

I keep getting email hints from Ancestry but can't yet find a good head space to go there. Perhaps this winter but I want to be really smart about keeping a solid distance from real live relatives and I'm not sure I'm tech savvy enough to do that. Anyone here on Ancestry have good tips for how to limit engagement and maintain privacy?

[empress of self-improvement]

I think those kind of stories are why everyone since my grandmother has been cremated. Father, mother husband and countless pets. Too much of a pain in the ass finding anyone in my hometown cemetary. I only know of 5 people buried there and 3 are in the same plot.

[giramomma]

What's fascinating to me is that my dad's mom and dad (and brother) are buried in a cemetery in a small town with a population of 1500. I can find where they are buried via google.

I was even able to find my grandpa's obit online. It was pretty damn small. They died over 40 years ago.

And, the parent I apologized to was gracious enough to say I didn't come off like a world class jerk.

susana1954, have you been subbing much lately?

I think that's the full sum of my randomness for the day.

[susana1954]

Sept 27, 2022 18:52:10 GMT -5 giramomma said:

What's fascinating to me is that my dad's mom and dad (and brother) are buried in a cemetery in a small town with a population of 1500. I can find where they are buried via google.

I was even able to find my grandpa's obit online. It was pretty damn small. They died over 40 years ago.

And, the parent I apologized to was gracious enough to say I didn't come off like a world class jerk.

susana1954 , have you been subbing much lately?

I think that's the full sum of my randomness for the day.

Define "much."  I subbed 5.5 days in September and took this week off since my goal of 5 days per month was met.  

Almost all of my days were Fridays.  The other days of the week are picked up as fast as they are posted.  I might sub this Friday even though it is still Sept. if one of my favorites asks me.  Or not.  I will only sub for what is known as "zero period" teachers since their day runs from 7:20-3:00.  I can't stand getting out at 3:45 because I get stuck in the parking lot and don't get home until 4:30.  It is a 15-drive!  And really is too long for Penny to be by herself.

I think subbing has made me value my time off more.  

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2022 18:52:10 GMT -5 giramomma said:

What's fascinating to me is that my dad's mom and dad (and brother) are buried in a cemetery in a small town with a population of 1500. I can find where they are buried via google.

Last year I went to the gigantic cemetery in Ohio where my grandparents were buried and realized I'd forgotten where they were buried.  I went on-line and the location was listed on findagrave.com - still took a bot of walking around but at least I knew the section.  I think my Uncle recorded it.  He'd put up a lot of good stuff on Ancestry.com.  

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 27, 2022 15:21:04 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Sept 27, 2022 15:06:41 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Very frustrating.  I don't know why but the board seems to be afraid of her.  

They don't even have a PO box.  To make a donation, I was told where the bank account was.  Two of my cousins are on the board.  Both told me today, those records will not be taken from her until they pry them from her dead body.

Since when is it a secret who is buried where?

I think the board has some legal exposure as the cemetery sold plots and failed to keep adequate records while taking folks hard-earned $$$.  It's sort of on the edge of fraud.  Assuming this is set up as a typical non-profit board, I truly hope they have something called directors liability coverage.  The idea that they can't sell plots in some sections because they don't know which ones are already sold is mind boggling 

I know my cousins who are on the board want to dissolve the board and turn it over to the county for care.   Guess who doesn't want to dissolve the board?  That was done with a country cemetery in this county about a year ago.  

The cemetery I visited on Sunday was the same way when I asked about putting a headstone next to this 8 year old boy, who is my ancestor.  They didn't know if there was anyone buried with him (this little kid is all by himself).  His parents are across the cemetery.  They told me since I was being cremated that would be fine.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 27, 2022 15:49:12 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 27, 2022 15:21:04 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

I think the board has some legal exposure as the cemetery sold plots and failed to keep adequate records while taking folks hard-earned $$$.  It's sort of on the edge of fraud.  Assuming this is set up as a typical non-profit board, I truly hope they have something called directors liability coverage.  The idea that they can't sell plots in some sections because they don't know which ones are already sold is mind boggling 

Yeah I'd be pissed.  I have a right to know where my relatives are buried.

The woman is 90 years old WTF is she going to do if they march in and take them?   Does she have dirt on them or are they afraid she F-ed up her job so bad they are waiting for her to die and say "Well nothing we can do now she's dead". 

Here you go OtherMe this looks like where you would report this in Iowa

sapiciowa.org/

After I sent a photo of the headstone, my cousin found it.  I was within feet of it last week.  Just a few feet away.  Now I know.

Yes, I do think she needs to be reported.  

My 2nd cousin is on the board now and he said she is the biggest frustration.  She doesn't do technology and now that she is in assisted living, she can never make a board meeting but they can't have one without her because she has all the records.

[giramomma]

Sept 27, 2022 19:16:21 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

Sept 27, 2022 18:52:10 GMT -5 giramomma said:

What's fascinating to me is that my dad's mom and dad (and brother) are buried in a cemetery in a small town with a population of 1500. I can find where they are buried via google.

I was even able to find my grandpa's obit online. It was pretty damn small. They died over 40 years ago.

And, the parent I apologized to was gracious enough to say I didn't come off like a world class jerk.

susana1954 , have you been subbing much lately?

I think that's the full sum of my randomness for the day.

Define "much."  I subbed 5.5 days in September and took this week off since my goal of 5 days per month was met.  

Almost all of my days were Fridays.  The other days of the week are picked up as fast as they are posted.  I might sub this Friday even though it is still Sept. if one of my favorites asks me.  Or not.  I will only sub for what is known as "zero period" teachers since their day runs from 7:20-3:00.  I can't stand getting out at 3:45 because I get stuck in the parking lot and don't get home until 4:30.  It is a 15-drive!  And really is too long for Penny to be by herself.

I think subbing has made me value my time off more.  

It sounds like you've got a nice little routine going for you. I don't blame you about getting out early. I won't get within a 1/4 of a mile of the kid's HS either at the begging or end of the school day.