azucena
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Post by azucena on May 2, 2024 9:16:01 GMT -5
Well, I came here to share thoughts about work. Oh, it hasn't gotten better. Infact this morning I informed my DH that work will do to me what the cancer did not. And then started reading about a school shooting attempt in my neck of the woods. Middle school. Cops shot the kid that had the rifle. I hate that I know I need to be grateful for being upright even if it isn't a happy existence right now.. Keep venting here as you need the outlet. We have to let our thoughts pass through our mouths or fingers to let our analytical brain process them instead of our emotional brain to test if they are rational and true. Not saying yours aren't just something that keeps coming up for me in my own therapy and that of bonus teen and DD11. FWIW, I can't read the news or listen to politics/election talk because it's all too draining esp when I'm over stressed. There are two lateral moves open in my company right now for people I'd love working for. Just wouldn't enjoy either job nearly as much as my current one.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 2, 2024 9:18:58 GMT -5
I know this is really petty, but three of the pumpkin spice cookies that I made yesterday are missing. My husband doesn't even like pumpkin spice. We have a box of his favorite bakery cookies in the pantry, and his favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer. So why are my cookies missing? Pumpkin chocolate chip from my local Smith's (Kroger) are my favorite. Or at least they were before my heart attacks. I don't care much for sweets since I had them. I've never heard of anyone having that kind of reaction before. 🤔
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 2, 2024 9:28:04 GMT -5
Well, I came here to share thoughts about work. Oh, it hasn't gotten better. Infact this morning I informed my DH that work will do to me what the cancer did not. And then started reading about a school shooting attempt in my neck of the woods. Middle school. Cops shot the kid that had the rifle. I hate that I know I need to be grateful for being upright even if it isn't a happy existence right now.. Keep venting here as you need the outlet. We have to let our thoughts pass through our mouths or fingers to let our analytical brain process them instead of our emotional brain to test if they are rational and true. Not saying yours aren't just something that keeps coming up for me in my own therapy and that of bonus teen and DD11. FWIW, I can't read the news or listen to politics/election talk because it's all too draining esp when I'm over stressed. There are two lateral moves open in my company right now for people I'd love working for. Just wouldn't enjoy either job nearly as much as my current one. That's really tough on the work piece. The boss can make such a difference but if you know you won't like the other work that wouldn't be a good option
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on May 2, 2024 9:32:41 GMT -5
I think there’s a spectrum there…the mental challenge is real, but you can work to make yourself do things even when it’s not a crisis, but it’s important to realize in a situation like that that things are harder than they ought to be and there is a real danger of burnout bc you can’t tell where the line is between adulting and pushing yourself too hard? I definitely focus and function well with the extra adrenaline in a crisis, and then want to turn my brain off afterward, but I also get in the habit for things like laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning and stuff that has to be done. Exploiting the power of habit, if you can get him to the point where he doesn’t have to think about it and therefore doesn’t have to fight himself as hard, is much easier said than done but can be really helpful. ….and we’re right back to mental load and you taking on responsibility that you shouldn’t have to take. I should have said, if he can get himself in the habit of getting sh!t done and thereby reduce the activation energy it takes to commit to things. I should be more proactive about showing my appreciation to DH for putting up with me… Those are good points for me to think about. It's also what I can tolerate. If he were on his own with the kids it's not like they'd starve. But it would be almost entirely freezer food purchased same day. His version of meal planning would drive me nuts. I'm not sure when or if he'd vacuum, dust, or clean the counters, or he'd manage finances beyond checking the balance each day before going to the store. I know I mostly talk badly about him, and he's done some shitty things over the years, but I really don't think he's malicious in intent. He's done the best he can with the tools he has available, and he's grown a lot. I want to say it still isn't enough but I'm not sure that's true. Because it was enough. It was enough, and I felt like things were rocking along pretty well until we hit this patch of how he needs more from me. Which is bringing up all this stuff because I don't feel like I have anything more to give him and to be fair I do a lot already, but feelings are valid. I wish I wanted and needed the same kind of support he does but I dont which is some nature and some the results of his actions. But we're back to what looks and feels like score keeping. Which I dont want to do but can't seem to stop. Totally His struggles can be real, and they can also be too much for you to be able to deal with and compensate for on a long term basis. Not mutually exclusive. I am curious what happens when you unpack the term needs, in he needs more from you. Because you can also make a clear case of you needing specific things from him, and your needs are not being met…needs are also a spectrum. In circumstances where you can’t have everything defined as a need, you have to prioritize. I don’t think it’s scorekeeping so much as being realistic about how much you two together can take on.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on May 2, 2024 9:41:56 GMT -5
Well, I came here to share thoughts about work. Oh, it hasn't gotten better. Infact this morning I informed my DH that work will do to me what the cancer did not. And then started reading about a school shooting attempt in my neck of the woods. Middle school. Cops shot the kid that had the rifle. I hate that I know I need to be grateful for being upright even if it isn't a happy existence right now.. I hate this, I hate that it happened, I hate that it keeps happening. But I‘d still rather it happen this way than Uvalde or Oxford.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 2, 2024 9:47:37 GMT -5
right now, I'm listening to a painfully tedious call involving three different teams (some overlap of responsibility, but not much...) of folks involved in all parts of the manufacture of a certain product that we're trying to shrink the entire mfg process including shipping inter-country for the various sites involved down to 60 days. this process usually takes about 6 months at normal pace, but we're looking at stocking out on it after some upstream issues in recent batches. the person leading the call is down to the detail of things like "when the lot arrives at site B, it will trigger <some step> to start ahead of when it's needed, so that it's ready to go when it is needed" I'm getting a headache. I deal with packaging, not all this other shit.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 2, 2024 9:48:26 GMT -5
Yeah. Well, the lockdown procedures worked. So, the kid couldn't get in.
I'm not defending the kid. If the kid would have taken the rage inward and committed suicide, there attitudes surely would have been different.
No one should be killed because they are hurting that badly emotionally. Whether by someone else or by their own hands.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 2, 2024 9:49:18 GMT -5
My coworker told me that I look sad.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on May 2, 2024 9:57:18 GMT -5
Keep venting here as you need the outlet. We have to let our thoughts pass through our mouths or fingers to let our analytical brain process them instead of our emotional brain to test if they are rational and true. Not saying yours aren't just something that keeps coming up for me in my own therapy and that of bonus teen and DD11. FWIW, I can't read the news or listen to politics/election talk because it's all too draining esp when I'm over stressed. There are two lateral moves open in my company right now for people I'd love working for. Just wouldn't enjoy either job nearly as much as my current one. That's really tough on the work piece. The boss can make such a difference but if you know you won't like the other work that wouldn't be a good option That's where I keep landing on the decision. But, half thinking can I use my qualifications for either job to make a vocal bluff at considering it. Like directly with my boss and enough that senior leaders above him make a push to keep me and start asking why I'd consider changing. I lost my insider channel with chief actuary who took a lateral move. Some percentage of that move had to be because she was tired of all the extra work my boss caused below her. I'd been very explicit with her about how bad he is. She wasn't very helpful and looking back, I liked her but she avoided hard things which is not great at any management level but esp that high. Would this be playing with fire? I wish new chief actuary would sit in on one of our dept mtgs to watch how boss will legit change his mind on at least one topic per week mid-mtg. Also wish someone would see how he talks over me. I gave a really good idea this week on a particular client initiative and was immed shut down. Meanwhile folks are IM'g behind the scenes to keep pushing it but no one else would speak up. This idea was good enough that I published it over his head internally this morning. I'm willing to bet he will jump on board and half take credit now. Whatever. Originally I thought I'd easily wait him out bc he's 55ish and bragged about early retirement. Now, he's going thru a nasty divorce and making it known that he's gonna have to work longer bc 'she's taking too much of what is his'. They've been married 5ish years but together for longer and he pushed for the marriage. Poor woman. He's been great about my flex time during bonus teen and DD11 upheaval. Very, very understanding, so I cut him some slack for a while. Then, day by day he just asks for stupid stuff, makes stupid decisions or tinkers with what doesn't matter so I'm over it again.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on May 2, 2024 10:00:02 GMT -5
My coworker told me that I look sad. HUGS! I'm in for a virtual happy hour if you're at all interested. I'm trying to be better about carving out me time or set up things with friends but then they're too busy, bail or can't afford it. I've missed 3 weeks of my 8 week softball season to handle mental health crises and take a work trip. I told DH I'm going hell or high water next week.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 2, 2024 10:08:21 GMT -5
Those are good points for me to think about. It's also what I can tolerate. If he were on his own with the kids it's not like they'd starve. But it would be almost entirely freezer food purchased same day. His version of meal planning would drive me nuts. I'm not sure when or if he'd vacuum, dust, or clean the counters, or he'd manage finances beyond checking the balance each day before going to the store. I know I mostly talk badly about him, and he's done some shitty things over the years, but I really don't think he's malicious in intent. He's done the best he can with the tools he has available, and he's grown a lot. I want to say it still isn't enough but I'm not sure that's true. Because it was enough. It was enough, and I felt like things were rocking along pretty well until we hit this patch of how he needs more from me. Which is bringing up all this stuff because I don't feel like I have anything more to give him and to be fair I do a lot already, but feelings are valid. I wish I wanted and needed the same kind of support he does but I dont which is some nature and some the results of his actions. But we're back to what looks and feels like score keeping. Which I dont want to do but can't seem to stop. Totally His struggles can be real, and they can also be too much for you to be able to deal with and compensate for on a long term basis. Not mutually exclusive.I am curious what happens when you unpack the term needs, in he needs more from you. Because you can also make a clear case of you needing specific things from him, and your needs are not being met…needs are also a spectrum. In circumstances where you can’t have everything defined as a need, you have to prioritize. I don’t think it’s scorekeeping so much as being realistic about how much you two together can take on. That's where DH and I got. He kept going on about how I am not recognizing that he changed. I said that it is great he is changing and I do recognize that but at this stage in my life .. .it's not enough. I really need him to grow up FASTER. I said you're 50 years old for Pete's sake. I know I can't make you go at the pace I want but that doesn't mean I need to sit around and wait to see how long it takes. We're at a crossroads now with our lives/marriage and I am trying to figure out what path I want to take. I do know that I don't want to keep doing the same shit over and over. Now he has to decide if he's going to meet me on my level or not. I have no doubt that he and the kids would survive just fine if something happened to me and I told him that. I said it's the fact that you are so dependent on me while I am here on Earth. It's not my fault your parents never made you grow up and it's not my job to fix that. I am not your replacement mommy now that she is gone and that is a hill I will die on. My job is to parent my actual kids. These have not been fun conversations.
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on May 2, 2024 10:21:19 GMT -5
Well, I came here to share thoughts about work. Oh, it hasn't gotten better. Infact this morning I informed my DH that work will do to me what the cancer did not. And then started reading about a school shooting attempt in my neck of the woods. Middle school. Cops shot the kid that had the rifle. I hate that I know I need to be grateful for being upright even if it isn't a happy existence right now.. Keep venting here as you need the outlet. We have to let our thoughts pass through our mouths or fingers to let our analytical brain process them instead of our emotional brain to test if they are rational and true. Not saying yours aren't just something that keeps coming up for me in my own therapy and that of bonus teen and DD11. FWIW, I can't read the news or listen to politics/election talk because it's all too draining esp when I'm over stressed.There are two lateral moves open in my company right now for people I'd love working for. Just wouldn't enjoy either job nearly as much as my current one. I find watching/listening to news/politics evokes a far more visceral reaction than reading. I think when reading it, I am able to detach from the information and process it more analytically. If I find myself outraged by something, it is easy enough to research its validity, since I am already online reading the news. Much "news" is designed to cause a reaction, positive or negative. It is why it is so important to get away from far extreme news sources and try to use more centrist/impartial sources. Yeah, I know that is becoming a unicorn these days. When we have all kinds of other stressors in our lives why add that kind of crap to the daily load?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 2, 2024 10:21:55 GMT -5
My coworker told me that I look sad. HUGS! I'm in for a virtual happy hour if you're at all interested. I'm trying to be better about carving out me time or set up things with friends but then they're too busy, bail or can't afford it. I've missed 3 weeks of my 8 week softball season to handle mental health crises and take a work trip. I told DH I'm going hell or high water next week. I appreciate the offer. It's OK, as long as I don't think about the mess. I've got some fun things planned in a week. I just have to focus on that.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 2, 2024 10:22:58 GMT -5
Knee Deep, you do not own the land there. You buy a membership and have a 99 year lease to it, so reduces the rent to the maintenance charge of $408. But I want to make sure that membership is in the price and not additional, if it is not interested. I, hubs, and son are all talking about what to do, none of us has the answer. Hubs said he would build me a catio as pets are on leashes only there, so that is not an issue. And I know the kids want Tigger, but what to do. I am really conflicted right now. I just want to move and get it over with, but I also don't want to make a mistake.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on May 2, 2024 10:25:39 GMT -5
My coworker told me that I look sad. I was told at my former facility this week that I always look "so serious". From someone that I think always looks so serious. My reply was we are both doing serious work.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on May 2, 2024 10:27:40 GMT -5
Well, I came here to share thoughts about work. Oh, it hasn't gotten better. Infact this morning I informed my DH that work will do to me what the cancer did not. And then started reading about a school shooting attempt in my neck of the woods. Middle school. Cops shot the kid that had the rifle. I hate that I know I need to be grateful for being upright even if it isn't a happy existence right now.. Hugs. I did see the news about the shooting this am. I did not realize that city was so close to you. I was thinking it was near LaCrosse. I have been thinking of late how grateful I am my kids were no longer on a college campus. Fear of kids bringing guns to campus is just as bad. I am not one that believes in open carry anywhere, any gun. The rest of us have the right not to fear our children/SO/parents will be murdered just going about their lives.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on May 2, 2024 10:54:25 GMT -5
Ever heard the expression "so mad that I could spit nails"? That is my current status - or more like I could drive a nail into someone's head. This weekend is when DD is supposed to travel to PA with sister's husband and my mom to visit my brother sister will meet them there. My mom has gone radio silent, no surprise, but not responding to DD is an issue for me. I will not tell DD to not go - most everything is paid for - but I am worried about the drive. I am sure mom will do her passive aggressive thing and just not speak to DD, which will likely send DD into a spiral. I have no issues with driving up to retrieve DD but if I have to because of some BS I may need bail money.
I am used to this from my mom, but I refuse to let her treat my child that way.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on May 2, 2024 10:57:08 GMT -5
Ever heard the expression "so mad that I could spit nails"? That is my current status - or more like I could drive a nail into someone's head. This weekend is when DD is supposed to travel to PA with sister's husband and my mom to visit my brother sister will meet them there. My mom has gone radio silent, no surprise, but not responding to DD is an issue for me. I will not tell DD to not go - most everything is paid for - but I am worried about the drive. I am sure mom will do her passive aggressive thing and just not speak to DD, which will likely send DD into a spiral. I have no issues with driving up to retrieve DD but if I have to because of some BS I may need bail money. I am used to this from my mom, but I refuse to let her treat my child that way. I am sorry you have to deal with this. Your DD is lucky to have a mom like you.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on May 2, 2024 11:09:07 GMT -5
I know this is really petty, but three of the pumpkin spice cookies that I made yesterday are missing. My husband doesn't even like pumpkin spice. We have a box of his favorite bakery cookies in the pantry, and his favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer. So why are my cookies missing?
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on May 2, 2024 11:35:36 GMT -5
countrygirl2 That is a lovely home- I love the raised garden beds and landscaping. DH and I would enjoy something like that with the community center and activities. And it's great that they have rigorous standards to maintain the value. It is a more densely-built community than what you are used to, so that would be a bit of an adjustment for the family. BUT, that's a very bold financial play. I'm considered aggressive financially and a risk-taker, but personally I would be uncomfortable tying up so much of my liquidity in another property when (to my knowledge and correct me if I am wrong) you are not yet sure about the amount of financial support Washington will provide for your daughter. What if the Medicaid situation is not what you hope for and you choose not to move? I realize sometimes property sells pretty fast out in Washington, but you could still be on the hook for taxes and insurance for 2 Washington homes plus lot rental, and 2 Indiana homes. Can you handle that additional outlay for a year or more? These are just my miscellaneous thoughts, of course.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 2, 2024 12:01:24 GMT -5
My coworker told me that I look sad. I hate that. If you think that, maybe instead ask if I need help with anything. Or, maybe keep your opinions to yourself and leave me alone.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 2, 2024 12:09:58 GMT -5
My coworker told me that I look sad. I was told at my former facility this week that I always look "so serious". From someone that I think always looks so serious. My reply was we are both doing serious work. I have a horrific case of RBF. I'm always getting asked if I'm mad. No, I'm just trying to do me. Trust and believe that if I'm mad, you'll definitely know.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 2, 2024 12:11:37 GMT -5
Ever heard the expression "so mad that I could spit nails"? That is my current status - or more like I could drive a nail into someone's head. This weekend is when DD is supposed to travel to PA with sister's husband and my mom to visit my brother sister will meet them there. My mom has gone radio silent, no surprise, but not responding to DD is an issue for me. I will not tell DD to not go - most everything is paid for - but I am worried about the drive. I am sure mom will do her passive aggressive thing and just not speak to DD, which will likely send DD into a spiral. I have no issues with driving up to retrieve DD but if I have to because of some BS I may need bail money. I am used to this from my mom, but I refuse to let her treat my child that way. I'm down to ride!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 2, 2024 12:13:22 GMT -5
Has anyone seen pink lately? I don't recall seeing her for a day or two.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on May 2, 2024 12:21:26 GMT -5
Keep venting here as you need the outlet. We have to let our thoughts pass through our mouths or fingers to let our analytical brain process them instead of our emotional brain to test if they are rational and true. Not saying yours aren't just something that keeps coming up for me in my own therapy and that of bonus teen and DD11. FWIW, I can't read the news or listen to politics/election talk because it's all too draining esp when I'm over stressed.There are two lateral moves open in my company right now for people I'd love working for. Just wouldn't enjoy either job nearly as much as my current one. I find watching/listening to news/politics evokes a far more visceral reaction than reading. I think when reading it, I am able to detach from the information and process it more analytically. If I find myself outraged by something, it is easy enough to research its validity, since I am already online reading the news. Much "news" is designed to cause a reaction, positive or negative. It is why it is so important to get away from far extreme news sources and try to use more centrist/impartial sources. Yeah, I know that is becoming a unicorn these days. When we have all kinds of other stressors in our lives why add that kind of crap to the daily load? I never watch news. Haven't since my kids were born and we made a conscious choice to shield them from such grown up things. Even centrist sources publish so many stories about hate. I'm legit scared for the world we live in. I've stopped reading anything political here too bc of certain posters spewing utter nonsense which stinks because I like learning from intelligent posters and hearing their viewpoints on topics.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on May 2, 2024 12:22:18 GMT -5
That's really tough on the work piece. The boss can make such a difference but if you know you won't like the other work that wouldn't be a good option That's where I keep landing on the decision. But, half thinking can I use my qualifications for either job to make a vocal bluff at considering it. Like directly with my boss and enough that senior leaders above him make a push to keep me and start asking why I'd consider changing. I lost my insider channel with chief actuary who took a lateral move. Some percentage of that move had to be because she was tired of all the extra work my boss caused below her. I'd been very explicit with her about how bad he is. She wasn't very helpful and looking back, I liked her but she avoided hard things which is not great at any management level but esp that high. Would this be playing with fire? I wish new chief actuary would sit in on one of our dept mtgs to watch how boss will legit change his mind on at least one topic per week mid-mtg. Also wish someone would see how he talks over me. I gave a really good idea this week on a particular client initiative and was immed shut down. Meanwhile folks are IM'g behind the scenes to keep pushing it but no one else would speak up. This idea was good enough that I published it over his head internally this morning. I'm willing to bet he will jump on board and half take credit now. Whatever. Originally I thought I'd easily wait him out bc he's 55ish and bragged about early retirement. Now, he's going thru a nasty divorce and making it known that he's gonna have to work longer bc 'she's taking too much of what is his'. They've been married 5ish years but together for longer and he pushed for the marriage. Poor woman. He's been great about my flex time during bonus teen and DD11 upheaval. Very, very understanding, so I cut him some slack for a while. Then, day by day he just asks for stupid stuff, makes stupid decisions or tinkers with what doesn't matter so I'm over it again. Upper senior management jumped on my idea within the hour I sent it. Take that asshat boss.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 2, 2024 12:23:32 GMT -5
Also, I may or may not be having a margarita with my lunch. This new account from hell has me so frustrated. No wonder the last AM was so eager to get rid of them! The producer said it's run by the three stooges. He's right. I finally told them we're gonna do things my way. The producer backed me up and told them I'm the boss. Now I need to go to underwriting and straighten some stuff out and get them squared away for good. I already told them that the foolishness they were doing in the past stops today.
Then people wonder why I drink so much.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on May 2, 2024 12:31:40 GMT -5
Totally His struggles can be real, and they can also be too much for you to be able to deal with and compensate for on a long term basis. Not mutually exclusive.I am curious what happens when you unpack the term needs, in he needs more from you. Because you can also make a clear case of you needing specific things from him, and your needs are not being met…needs are also a spectrum. In circumstances where you can’t have everything defined as a need, you have to prioritize. I don’t think it’s scorekeeping so much as being realistic about how much you two together can take on. That's where DH and I got. He kept going on about how I am not recognizing that he changed. I said that it is great he is changing and I do recognize that but at this stage in my life .. .it's not enough. I really need him to grow up FASTER. I said you're 50 years old for Pete's sake. I know I can't make you go at the pace I want but that doesn't mean I need to sit around and wait to see how long it takes. We're at a crossroads now with our lives/marriage and I am trying to figure out what path I want to take. I do know that I don't want to keep doing the same shit over and over. Now he has to decide if he's going to meet me on my level or not. I have no doubt that he and the kids would survive just fine if something happened to me and I told him that. I said it's the fact that you are so dependent on me while I am here on Earth. It's not my fault your parents never made you grow up and it's not my job to fix that. I am not your replacement mommy now that she is gone and that is a hill I will die on. My job is to parent my actual kids. These have not been fun conversations. Rae's original post
Those are good points for me to think about. It's also what I can tolerate. If he were on his own with the kids it's not like they'd starve. But it would be almost entirely freezer food purchased same day. His version of meal planning would drive me nuts. I'm not sure when or if he'd vacuum, dust, or clean the counters, or he'd manage finances beyond checking the balance each day before going to the store. I know I mostly talk badly about him, and he's done some shitty things over the years, but I really don't think he's malicious in intent. He's done the best he can with the tools he has available, and he's grown a lot. I want to say it still isn't enough but I'm not sure that's true. Because it was enough. It was enough, and I felt like things were rocking along pretty well until we hit this patch of how he needs more from me. Which is bringing up all this stuff because I don't feel like I have anything more to give him and to be fair I do a lot already, but feelings are valid. I wish I wanted and needed the same kind of support he does but I dont which is some nature and some the results of his actions. But we're back to what looks and feels like score keeping. Which I dont want to do but can't seem to stop. All three of those sentiments resonate so hard. One week in with bonus teen, I told my therapist that DH and I are amazing in a crisis. Heck his pitching in so well even made Thai food available. Now things are settling down, and he's slipping back to his old lax ways. Besides that I have continued my laundry experiment and have not picked up any of his clothes for at least six weeks. When the cleaner comes, I put them in a pile - 3 different piles, closet, bathroom, and bedroom. He's been asking why he doesn't have as much laundry to put away. He's also down to his last two pairs of clean shorts and wondering why. Meanwhile, the girls noticed the piles by week 2 and caught on and just this week bonus teen was like I got a weird question. Can't tell if this means he's just that oblivious or what. Will continue experiment. I def didn't do myself any favors by constantly picking up his laundry for 23 yrs of marriage. And at least I'm clearly letting these girls see what not to do. Mother's day is coming and that's always a landmine of crap. Literally at least once a month, I've been saying the only thing I want as a gift is for someone to program my phone to bluetooth to my 2013 sienna. I've tried and tried and can't figure it out. Would love to stream music thru actual speakers while I drive. Just last night DH dropped yet another hint that he wants a flattop grill for father's day. Bonus teen was like wait, isn't mother's day first. Then she turns and says what do you want? Then she was quickly like wait, I remember, bluetooth connection. Then she was like, wait have you had to wait til then for that help. But she also made a point to look to DH and didn't offer to do it bc she wasn't letting him off the hook.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,416
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Post by NastyWoman on May 2, 2024 12:46:22 GMT -5
Ever heard the expression "so mad that I could spit nails"? That is my current status - or more like I could drive a nail into someone's head. This weekend is when DD is supposed to travel to PA with sister's husband and my mom to visit my brother sister will meet them there. My mom has gone radio silent, no surprise, but not responding to DD is an issue for me. I will not tell DD to not go - most everything is paid for - but I am worried about the drive. I am sure mom will do her passive aggressive thing and just not speak to DD, which will likely send DD into a spiral. I have no issues with driving up to retrieve DD but if I have to because of some BS I may need bail money. I am used to this from my mom, but I refuse to let her treat my child that way. I'm down to ride! Good I was hoping you'd say that. I'm in too. I'll take on mom. That way no one can claim elder abuse. We'll just be two old broads fighting - and it won't be pretty for mom. I don't hold back when you mess with someone's (mental) health and I will fight dirty if needed
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 5,638
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Post by lurkyloo on May 2, 2024 12:47:04 GMT -5
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