WWYD?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Mar 25, 2022 10:59:40 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

It seems weird to me that your nephew asked for a 10,000 loan for a ring. Did your sister know he was asking you?

If my son told me he wanted to get his fiancé such an expensive ring on his limited salary I would have a ton of red flags. Who told him a ring had to be that expensive? Did his fiancé demand it? And he’ll no, if you can’t get financing on your own you are not hitting up the relatives for a loan. You hit up relatives for help paying for an expensive life or death medical procedure, not a ring you can’t afford.

I missed this.  My sister knew he was going to ask, and gave me the head’s up, so I wasn’t blindsided.  I told him I was uncomfortable loaning him so much money (but I’d have given it to him in an emergency).  I have no idea how he financed the ring.  I don’t think his fiancée demanded it, because this was a long time before she found out.  Like I said, I mentioned my grandmother’s ring that I’d give him and he could get the diamond reset.  It’s a nice diamond, about the size of mine.  I told him this, but this was unacceptable.  Not my problem.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Mar 25, 2022 11:05:44 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I feel I did something wrong in regards to wedding bands.  Maybe I should have held out for better.  

I accepted one DH already had (long story.  Yes it was discussed and yes it was MY decision to accept it).  My wedding band is my great grandmother's.  So he technically didn't have to spend anything on me.

I was blindsided by the ring TD gave me, I had absolutely no idea.  He chose the ring and told me I could exchange it if I wanted.  I didn’t want.  When we got married, we didn’t decide to do it until we got to South Africa, so went ring shopping in Durban on our way to Cape Town.  I do think it was interesting that I could get a ring sized in less than 24 hours in Durban (and an hour for a ring I bought in Dubai), but it took 2 weeks in WA!  

[tractor]

Mar 25, 2022 13:06:28 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mar 25, 2022 12:31:40 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Eh. I went the YM budget approved path. I also got a nice expensive upgrade.

Both are sitting around. Though, I did take off jewelry once I started treatment. And I've just never put anything back on. Don't know if I ever will.

My dad and mom rarely wear theirs both worked in industries that didn't really lend themselves to rings, especially my dad around car parts.  Now they no longer fit.  My dad's has a crack in it.

I probably shouldn't wear mine but I do.

I did tell DH if we make it to our 20th he owes me some bling after all he's put me through.   I want one of the Disney themed engagement rings they are SO PRETTY.  

My wedding band is made up entirely of gold Micky mouse heads. Not that I'm a fan or anything 😀

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oh, and problem’s taken care of.  I pinged my niece and she said that they had already figured this out and were planning on running interference.  I’m good with this.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2022 15:20:24 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oh, and problem’s taken care of.  I pinged my niece and she said that they had already figured this out and were planning on running interference.  I’m good with this.

I'm glad things have been worked out and smoothed out

[jerseygirl]

Mar 25, 2022 15:20:24 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oh, and problem’s taken care of.  I pinged my niece and she said that they had already figured this out and were planning on running interference.  I’m good with this.

Glad your sister will have company and hope she will enjoy the wedding.
What a fool to turn down a family heirloom ring. My younger son was able to give his great great grandmother’s ring (diamond) to his now wife. It was an old European cut diamond in my mom’s setting, very pretty. His fiancé now wife was so thrilled to be considered part of the family symbolized by gift of the ring. I had a photo of great great grandmother that DS also gave to her

[Lizard Queen]

My ring cost about $2000. DH said we could upgrade the diamond later on. I usually only wear the band anyway. The set is just a little tight, but I can wear it. I just don't very often, so I don't see a need spending even more on a more expensive one.

[vonna]

If this were me, I would mentally prepare myself beforehand --- and try my hardest to LOOK like I am having a good time regardless of the slights I may experience.

Don't let anyone see that they got you down . . . .

[seriousthistime]

Mar 26, 2022 8:28:13 GMT -5 vonna said:

If this were me, I would mentally prepare myself beforehand --- and try my hardest to LOOK like I am having a good time regardless of the slights I may experience.

Don't let anyone see that they got you down . . . .

And along this line, I would offer to buy my sister a mother-of-the-groom dress, shoes, whatever she needs for that day, and pay for her to get her hair, makeup, and nails done beforehand. She needs to walk into that wedding looking absolutely smashing, and feeling that way. 

With family events that include XH, I make damn sure I look my best.  Fortunately, with three kids and four weddings, I think we're done with family events for a while. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Mar 26, 2022 11:19:34 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Mar 26, 2022 8:28:13 GMT -5 vonna said:

If this were me, I would mentally prepare myself beforehand --- and try my hardest to LOOK like I am having a good time regardless of the slights I may experience.

Don't let anyone see that they got you down . . . .

And along this line, I would offer to buy my sister a mother-of-the-groom dress, shoes, whatever she needs for that day, and pay for her to get her hair, makeup, and nails done beforehand. She needs to walk into that wedding looking absolutely smashing, and feeling that way. 

With family events that include XH, I make damn sure I look my best.  Fortunately, with three kids and four weddings, I think we're done with family events for a while. 

This is an excellent idea!  Off to contact my niece again.  Thanks.

[azucena]

Can you be my sister?

Seriously though, mich, you're one of the good ones

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

So my nephew called me, which kind of ticked me off as I told my sister not to say anything to him.  He made the assumption that since we are traveling, we wouldn't be able to make it.  He invited us…..so I’m thinking about it, only enough to play sidekick for her ex in-laws.  When they get alcohol in them, all filters are off, BTDT.  

Going would be rough….we get off a flight on Sat only to get back on one Friday.  I’d like to surprise her if we do this, so I’d need to have my niece’s help in this.

[vonna]

That would be great if you can go!!

As far as surprising her -- if it were me, I would much rather know you were coming beforehand.  It would decrease my anxiety tremendously about the event, and make it something to look forward to, instead of dread.

The wonderful surprise would be telling her you will be there!!

(but, you know your sis, and I don't!)

[thyme4change]

Apr 4, 2022 11:56:48 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

So my nephew called me, which kind of ticked me off as I told my sister not to say anything to him.  He made the assumption that since we are traveling, we wouldn't be able to make it.  He invited us…..so I’m thinking about it, only enough to play sidekick for her ex in-laws.  When they get alcohol in them, all filters are off, BTDT.  

Going would be rough….we get off a flight on Sat only to get back on one Friday.  I’d like to surprise her if we do this, so I’d need to have my niece’s help in this.

So - he invited you after he discovered you would not be able to attend?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Apr 6, 2022 18:48:35 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Apr 4, 2022 11:56:48 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

So my nephew called me, which kind of ticked me off as I told my sister not to say anything to him.  He made the assumption that since we are traveling, we wouldn't be able to make it.  He invited us…..so I’m thinking about it, only enough to play sidekick for her ex in-laws.  When they get alcohol in them, all filters are off, BTDT.  

Going would be rough….we get off a flight on Sat only to get back on one Friday.  I’d like to surprise her if we do this, so I’d need to have my niece’s help in this.

So - he invited you after he discovered you would not be able to attend?

No, after I would be able to attend.  He thought we’d still be in Europe.

[thyme4change]

Apr 6, 2022 20:52:47 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Apr 6, 2022 18:48:35 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

So - he invited you after he discovered you would not be able to attend?

No, after I would be able to attend.  He thought we’d still be in Europe.

Ah - I don't think I read the whole thread.

[Cookies Galore]

I'd go and give a shitty gift for his shitty attitude. Usually put a $200 check in an envelope? He gets $100.