no good deed . . . .

[Deleted]

No good deed goes unpunished.
Is that true? What are your stories?

Last week a childhood acquaintance (friend) called me in a panic because she was having trouble filling out her taxes. She is on disability and gets a "Homestead Credit" refund. (I am not sure if all states have that.) She is physically disabled and has mental issues also - depression, PTSD, OCD, etc. Kindly, I told her to bring her information to the tax office I work in and I could do it online and file electronically for a faster refund. I did her taxes before other ones that were here. After completing, I brought her the form to sign and a copy of the return and we did not charge her. I was trying to help her calm down.

Now I am getting inundated with texts and phone calls asking me not to divulge her financial information to anyone, she trusted me with that information, etc. I had to turn the ringer off on my cell phone. I tried to reassure her that we process hundreds of tax returns a year and do not reveal anyone's information. I don't know what else to do.

I now realize she is paranoid also.

[raeoflyte]

Pretty low stakes, but dsis asked if I could help her take out the back row seat in her van and keep it at my house while she picked up a new chair. No problem, next week I tell her we need to get that put back in and she asks for another week which is fine, except she was going out of town so it was really 2 weeks which stretched to 3. This Sunday I brought it up and she doesn't want to put it back in. She was listing places we could move it instead, including my basement or garage, my parents shed, etc. It's not staying here! But I didn't get it into her van before she left. Next weekend though I'm taking the keys and doing it alone if I have to.

[Tennesseer]

'No good deed goes unpunished.'

The only things which comes to mind is around 1975 os so a life-long friend of mine asked me if she and her husband could borrow $200 so they could buy a waterbed. Said they would pay me back.

As time went on no attempt was made to pay me back. Over time she and her husband divorced. I still remained friends with her though it was a long distance friendship as we now lived in different states and hundreds of miles apart. I had long ago forgotten about the loan. Not a big deal.

Come 2006, my dad passed away and I told my friend of same. She said she would come to the town where my dad's wake and funeral were being held. She said we could spend the day together until the wake.

During the day we went out to lunch. After lunch was over my friend pushed an envelope across the restaurant table. She said open it. I opened it and took out $200. I said thank you and that I had long ago forgotten about the money. She replied she knew I had forgotten about it but she hadn't. She also paid for lunch and I joked that was the interest on the loan.

In this case, 'no good deed goes unpunished' was 'what goes around, eventually comes around'.

[Tiny]

Mar 22, 2022 20:08:14 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Pretty low stakes, but dsis asked if I could help her take out the back row seat in her van and keep it at my house while she picked up a new chair. No problem, next week I tell her we need to get that put back in and she asks for another week which is fine, except she was going out of town so it was really 2 weeks which stretched to 3. This Sunday I brought it up and she doesn't want to put it back in. She was listing places we could move it instead, including my basement or garage, my parents shed, etc. It's not staying here! But I didn't get it into her van before she left. Next weekend though I'm taking the keys and doing it alone if I have to.

LOL!  Since I had so much "space" in my basement and attic - I was the always getting asked if I could store stuff for relatives - just til the end of the month or just for a few weeks....

After the first round of stuff staying for ever no matter how hard I tried to get the owner to:
either take it back   or let me have it   They'd always hem and haw.  

I got tired of the - great I have stuff in my basement that I'm pretty sure they are never going to take back - but I also don't feel it's right that it becomes mine... that wasn't part of the agreement.  

I decided that there was a new rule - if I stored something and once it was at my house for 3 months LONGER than the agreed upon time when it arrived - it became MINE! bwaaa haaaa haaa haa.  And I could do whatever I wanted with it - use it, sell it, trash it, give it away.      

I'm nice and remind people their time has run out.  And eventually I'm telling them about how I'm selling MY GeeGaw at the community garage sale - if they think they could use the GeeGaw (it was theirs originally) they can come and get it before the community garage sale - I will give it to them for free!  What a deal!  If it's still in my basement the night before the community garage sale - I'm selling MY GeeGaw and keeping the $$ 

I seriously think my relatives were just having trouble "parting" with some of their old stuff.   Sending it to my basement helped them decide they really didn't want it - and I got something I could use for free - or I sold their stuff (I use the money for Family Picnic expenses). 

Yep, My basement - the place where other people's things go to die.     

FWIW:  some of my relatives really did need a place to store stuff  (I saved them money because they didn't have to rent a storage unit) - two younger/moving around relatives realized this - and were very cooperative with  "renewing" the deadline for when their stuff became my stuff and eventually did take their stuff out of my basement.     I was glad I could help them out.    

  

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

A full calendar year ago, I recommended someone for a promotion. I knew she was still in need of experience, but she would be placed in a position with tons of help including the former person in that position still in the office next door. She had specific training for four-hours per week for three months PRIOR to starting the job. From June through October, when she was officially on the job, she caused such havoc and publicly called us all idiots that the organization head was forced to transfer back to her previous position. However, she managed to lie her way into a nearby company the day before that could be finalized. I don't recommend people easily. I certainly wouldn't have recommended someone for such a huge step up if I didn't think they were capable. My staff told me that she managed to pull the wool over my eyes, and they say it's one of the rare (big) mistakes they've seen me make. 

[Tiny]

My "punishable good deeds" are more of the mundane kind.  And they usually happen when I try to do someone an unasked for "nice" -- not a surprise nice - just a regular old "nice". 

I am cursed and anything I plan goes awry - in a multitude of ways.

About 15 years ago, a friend (who struggles with anxiety/depression) was especially blue right before her b-day. Me and other friends were sure a simple evening of watching our favorite movie from our teenage days (laugh and sing and oogle the stud muffins), an old school pizza from the local Bar, and a ice cream b-day cake would make for a nice evening.

I volunteered to arrange the movie, the cake, and the pizza - (nothing I hadn't done in the past) as the other friends were traveling in from out of town.

The ice cream shop got the order for the cake wrong (decorated incorrectly - and they refused to fix it - I did get a refund and the cake. ), the pizza place delivered the WRONG order (our pizza went who knows where and we had to wait another hour for a replacement pizza) and the DVD I rented looked fine but wouldn't play.

I tried. I really really did. How hard is it to order a b-day cake? A pizza for delivery? and back in the day - pick up a working DVD from Blockbuster All from places that I had ordered from in the past. For me it's apparently an insurmountable task.

It was really hard to salvage the evening especially when one of us was already on the edge of tears with anxiety/depression. No good deed goes unpunished.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 22, 2022 22:11:52 GMT -5 Tiny said:

My "punishable good deeds" are more of the mundane kind.  And they usually happen when I try to do someone an unasked for "nice" -- not a surprise nice - just a regular old "nice". 

I am cursed and anything I plan goes awry - in a multitude of ways.

About 15 years ago, a friend (who struggles with anxiety/depression) was especially blue right before her b-day. Me and other friends were sure a simple evening of watching our favorite movie from our teenage days (laugh and sing and oogle the stud muffins), an old school pizza from the local Bar, and a ice cream b-day cake would make for a nice evening.

I volunteered to arrange the movie, the cake, and the pizza - (nothing I hadn't done in the past) as the other friends were traveling in from out of town.

The ice cream shop got the order for the cake wrong (decorated incorrectly - and they refused to fix it - I did get a refund and the cake. ), the pizza place delivered the WRONG order (our pizza went who knows where and we had to wait another hour for a replacement pizza) and the DVD I rented looked fine but wouldn't play.

I tried. I really really did. How hard is it to order a b-day cake? A pizza for delivery? and back in the day - pick up a working DVD from Blockbuster All from places that I had ordered from in the past. For me it's apparently an insurmountable task.

It was really hard to salvage the evening especially when one of us was already on the edge of tears with anxiety/depression. No good deed goes unpunished.

Hopefully sometime in the future you can all have a good laught about the birthday party that went awry.

[TheOtherMe]

After my return from Canada, there will need to be a discussion about DN3's stuff living in my basement.  

It was supposed to leave last summer after they bought a house.  There's very little inventory at the moment and both are looking for new jobs.  

They are either going to have to come help me do some things that need to be done or there stuff needs to go.  

From what I have seen, I would keep maybe 5 or 6 items but there is so much furniture down there that I have no need for.  The beds down there are giant cat beds.  No wonder they sleep there instead of any cat bed I buy them.

In my own life, I have borrowed money from friends and have always paid back every penny plus interest.  Never let a single one of them down.  

[giramomma]

Re-establishing a relationship with mom.

[tractor]

We built an addition on our home so my dad could live with us. I decided to only charge him $50/month to cover his cell phone, utilities, cable, etc. He saved $0 for retirement and turns 80 this year, with only SS to live on.

I was trying to minimize his expenses so he could use what little he had to put towards other things (food, gas, golf, etc). Instead he went out and ran up his credit cards buying things he didn't need, or couldn't afford. He bought a new truck and trailer. Most months he can't afford to pay me the token $50 I asked for because "he doesn't have it". He's my dad, and I can't throw him out, even though I'd like to some days. To make matters worse, he's constantly complaining to my brothers that I won't build him his own garage, or buy him things he wants...

My brothers have offered to send me money to help, but it's not the money, I have more than enough, it's the principle. Sadly, all I have to look forward to now is the end of his life, or transferring him to a nursing home if he lives that long. What little relationship we had is now gone, and I can't help but view him as any more than a deadbeat renter I can't evict.

[Deleted]

For several years I have assisted a disabled senior in obtaining, completing and submitting her election ballots. She is quite determined to play victim as much as possible in everything and is constantly screaming that she's going to sue someone for something. As you all know, Texas implemented very complex requirements for getting a mail-in ballot. Her original application was rejected. She told me that the Voter Registrar called her and said she used the wrong I.D. number, so I filled out another one with the "correct" I.D. It was rejected too. This time I made her show me the original rejection letter. Nope, that was NOT the reason for rejection, so I refused to use her "correct" I.D. on the third try. She got the ballot, I spent over an hour filling in her selections and mailed it off. Several weeks later she asked how she would know if it was rejected and I replied it would be returned in the mail with a letter explaining why. Since she didn't get a rejection notice, it was accepted. Then she asked to prove it had been counted and said she was sure it was thrown out. There's a crap ton of voter suppression going on but she refuses to believe she wasn't a victim of it. There are 2 more ballots to do this year and then I'm out.

[Deleted]

Mar 23, 2022 9:22:33 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

For several years I have assisted a disabled senior in obtaining, completing and submitting her election ballots. She is quite determined to play victim as much as possible in everything and is constantly screaming that she's going to sue someone for something. As you all know, Texas implemented very complex requirements for getting a mail-in ballot. Her original application was rejected. She told me that the Voter Registrar called her and said she used the wrong I.D. number, so I filled out another one with the "correct" I.D. It was rejected too. This time I made her show me the original rejection letter. Nope, that was NOT the reason for rejection, so I refused to use her "correct" I.D. on the third try. She got the ballot, I spent over an hour filling in her selections and mailed it off. Several weeks later she asked how she would know if it was rejected and I replied it would be returned in the mail with a letter explaining why. Since she didn't get a rejection notice, it was accepted. Then she asked to prove it had been counted and said she was sure it was thrown out. There's a crap ton of voter suppression going on but she refuses to believe she wasn't a victim of it. There are 2 more ballots to do this year and then I'm out.

Oh my gosh. That sounds like the person in my original post.

She has a problem for every solution.

[Deleted]

Mar 23, 2022 10:17:53 GMT -5 @beckaroo said:

Mar 23, 2022 9:22:33 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

For several years I have assisted a disabled senior in obtaining, completing and submitting her election ballots. She is quite determined to play victim as much as possible in everything and is constantly screaming that she's going to sue someone for something. As you all know, Texas implemented very complex requirements for getting a mail-in ballot. Her original application was rejected. She told me that the Voter Registrar called her and said she used the wrong I.D. number, so I filled out another one with the "correct" I.D. It was rejected too. This time I made her show me the original rejection letter. Nope, that was NOT the reason for rejection, so I refused to use her "correct" I.D. on the third try. She got the ballot, I spent over an hour filling in her selections and mailed it off. Several weeks later she asked how she would know if it was rejected and I replied it would be returned in the mail with a letter explaining why. Since she didn't get a rejection notice, it was accepted. Then she asked to prove it had been counted and said she was sure it was thrown out. There's a crap ton of voter suppression going on but she refuses to believe she wasn't a victim of it. There are 2 more ballots to do this year and then I'm out.

Oh my gosh. That sounds like the person in my original post.

She has a problem for every solution.

This is the best description I've heard for that type of behavior

[weltschmerz]

Mar 22, 2022 21:51:09 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Mar 22, 2022 20:08:14 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Pretty low stakes, but dsis asked if I could help her take out the back row seat in her van and keep it at my house while she picked up a new chair. No problem, next week I tell her we need to get that put back in and she asks for another week which is fine, except she was going out of town so it was really 2 weeks which stretched to 3. This Sunday I brought it up and she doesn't want to put it back in. She was listing places we could move it instead, including my basement or garage, my parents shed, etc. It's not staying here! But I didn't get it into her van before she left. Next weekend though I'm taking the keys and doing it alone if I have to.

LOL!  Since I had so much "space" in my basement and attic - I was the always getting asked if I could store stuff for relatives - just til the end of the month or just for a few weeks....

After the first round of stuff staying for ever no matter how hard I tried to get the owner to:
either take it back   or let me have it   They'd always hem and haw.  

I got tired of the - great I have stuff in my basement that I'm pretty sure they are never going to take back - but I also don't feel it's right that it becomes mine... that wasn't part of the agreement.  

I decided that there was a new rule - if I stored something and once it was at my house for 3 months LONGER than the agreed upon time when it arrived - it became MINE! bwaaa haaaa haaa haa.  And I could do whatever I wanted with it - use it, sell it, trash it, give it away.      

I'm nice and remind people their time has run out.  And eventually I'm telling them about how I'm selling MY GeeGaw at the community garage sale - if they think they could use the GeeGaw (it was theirs originally) they can come and get it before the community garage sale - I will give it to them for free!  What a deal!  If it's still in my basement the night before the community garage sale - I'm selling MY GeeGaw and keeping the $$ 

I seriously think my relatives were just having trouble "parting" with some of their old stuff.   Sending it to my basement helped them decide they really didn't want it - and I got something I could use for free - or I sold their stuff (I use the money for Family Picnic expenses). 

Yep, My basement - the place where other people's things go to die.     

FWIW:  some of my relatives really did need a place to store stuff  (I saved them money because they didn't have to rent a storage unit) - two younger/moving around relatives realized this - and were very cooperative with  "renewing" the deadline for when their stuff became my stuff and eventually did take their stuff out of my basement.     I was glad I could help them out.    

  

What is a Gee Gaw?

[Sharon]

weltschmerz I believe a Gee Gaw is the same thing as a do-hickey or a thing a ma jig.  Just a made up word to indicate some type of item.

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

Mar 23, 2022 11:46:51 GMT -5 Sharon said:

weltschmerz I believe a Gee Gaw is the same thing as a do-hickey or a thing a ma jig.  Just a made up word to indicate some type of item.

I think of it more as a knick-knack.

[weltschmerz]

No wonder I couldn't find it online. I thought it was a leaf blower or some other kind of garden tool.

Excuse me while I go dust my tchotchkes.

[dannylion]

Mar 23, 2022 11:57:18 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

No wonder I couldn't find it online. I thought it was a leaf blower or some other kind of garden tool.

Excuse me while I go dust my tchotchkes.

 Вот именно!  A geegaw is a tchotchke.  I always thought it was an element of a regional dialect, but its origin appears to be quite ancient:  Geegaw

[jerseygirl]

Mar 23, 2022 13:07:46 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Mar 23, 2022 11:57:18 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

No wonder I couldn't find it online. I thought it was a leaf blower or some other kind of garden tool.

Excuse me while I go dust my tchotchkes.

 Вот именно!  A geegaw is a tchotchke.  I always thought it was an element of a regional dialect, but its origin appears to be quite ancient:  Geegaw

Loved the background on geegaw!! I’ll have to use that word more often now