Is my memory going or is it just normal aging?

[Tennesseer]

Is my memory going or is it just normal aging?

Don’t try to assess yourself. Rather, enlist a close friend or family member to detect whether you are having a problem.

Research shows cognitive change with advancing age is normal. So a retiree may recall fewer items from a long grocery list than her 20-year-old grandchild, even if both are cognitively normal. (iStock)

Think back to the last time you walked into the living room and forgot what you came for, or tugged on the car door handle only to realize your keys were on the kitchen counter. Each week, patients in my memory clinic recount similar stories and ask me: Is this normal?

Surveys show that half of middle-aged adults worry about getting dementia. People who feel isolated, get less sleep or have taken care of someone with memory loss tend to be particularly concerned. Fear of cognitive maladies is widespread; scientists have found that people are more scared of dementia than of other top causes of death, such as heart disease and strokes.

Decades of research has made clear that cognitive change with advancing age is perfectly normal. Most adults become worse at recognizing faces and remembering new information beginning in their 30s, and then continue to decline over the rest of their lives. This means that the typical retiree can recall fewer items from a long grocery list than her 20-year-old grandchild, even if both are cognitively normal. Memory for well-learned facts last longer, but these skills eventually wane, too. So the question of whether something is amiss in the brain is not “Have I declined?” but rather “Have I declined too much?”

Inaccurate cognition assessments
We are notoriously inaccurate in assessing our own cognition. Studies illustrate that we have particularly poor insight when quantifying our processing speed and dexterity. When Alzheimer’s disease or other afflictions are present, our ability to self-judge our cognitive aptitude becomes even less reliable, starting in the earliest stages of disease. Loss of self-awareness is so common in these conditions that it is sometimes included in the diagnostic criteria for the maladies.

Complete article here: Is my memory going or is it just normal aging?

[busymom]

My problem is, I keep about 20 tabs open in my brain at the same time, of projects I'm working on, and things I need to do.  Then the phone rings, or DH brings up a completely different problem, and it temporarily throws me off.  Seriously, I do my best work when I'm by myself, with no interruptions.

[dannylion]

My mother had Alzheimer's disease, and I recall the neurologist who treated her saying that it is not so much forgetting a discrete piece of information like where your keys are, it is forgetting what keys do.  I would also describe it as forgetting what is happening while it is happening, which my mother would do as the disease progressed.  

[mroped]

Oh heck! I can’t remember what I ate yesterday!😂
But through some miracle I remember details about jobs that I’ve done in the last 25 years

[debthaven]

My close friend E was an Alzheimer's nurse for 25 years. Once my sister asked E, what are the signs of Alzheimer's? 

E said, well it depends. Men tend to go walkabout and not know where they are. Women tend to go into the supermarket and forget why. My sister went WHITE. 

E burst out laughing and said, I'm kidding, that's a typical Alzheimer nurse joke! 

Personally, I have a lot more trouble remembering my students' names (I have about 140 new students/semester ... it used to be more like 200.) I promise them that by the end of the semester, I'll know their names. And I do ... 90% of the time. 

That has always been harder for me than for some colleagues who manage to learn them all within a week or two. But now it's worse. 

[TheOtherMe]

After watching what the doctor did when we took dad for a dementia test, I don't trust those tests.  Part of it depends on who is giving the test.  The nurse let lots of incorrect answers "slide" with that's close enough.  By doing that, the doctor said my dad only had a slow down due to age, not dementia.  

That was not true that day and things steadily went downhill.  It was the same doctor who wrote dementia on his death certificate.

I know my therapist does thorough evaluations of patients for dementia.  They take about 90 minutes and no one else can be around for most of it.  They tell the care giver to leave and be back at a certain time.  That kind of testing would give a more accurate result.  

She had told me the family practioner must refer the patient and then the wait is several months to get an appointment.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 7, 2022 14:20:22 GMT -5 dannylion said:

My mother had Alzheimer's disease, and I recall the neurologist who treated her saying that it is not so much forgetting a discrete piece of information like where your keys are, it is forgetting what keys do.  I would also describe it as forgetting what is happening while it is happening, which my mother would do as the disease progressed.  

My mom also had AD. I have told both these incidents before but will again.

We siblings learned quickly not to tell mom dad died because in her mind she was hearing the news for the first time and she would get upset. We started telling mom dad had just been visiting with her and he had gone back to their room to nap. Mom was at peace.

Another time I was visiting with mom at her mental care facility. We were sitting in their group dining room and after having reminded mom who I was she was 'okay'. Mom said she had to use the restroom. She got up and left the dining room. She appeared in the dining room entrance a few minutes later and was looking around the room appearing to be a bit lost. I called out "Mom!" and waved to her. Mom pointed her finger at herself and mouthed "Me?" I said yes and she came over. I had to introduce myself to her again.

It was what it was.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 7, 2022 15:24:54 GMT -5 debthaven said:

My close friend E was an Alzheimer's nurse for 25 years. Once my sister asked E, what are the signs of Alzheimer's? 

E said, well it depends. Men tend to go walkabout and not know where they are. Women tend to go into the supermarket and forget why. My sister went WHITE. 

E burst out laughing and said, I'm kidding, that's a typical Alzheimer nurse joke! 

Personally, I have a lot more trouble remembering my students' names (I have about 140 new students/semester ... it used to be more like 200.) I promise them that by the end of the semester, I'll know their names. And I do ... 90% of the time. 

That has always been harder for me than for some colleagues who manage to learn them all within a week or two. But now it's worse. 

You are doing fine. Don't beat yourself up or frett too much.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mar 7, 2022 15:48:55 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

After watching what the doctor did when we took dad for a dementia test, I don't trust those tests.  Part of it depends on who is giving the test.  The nurse let lots of incorrect answers "slide" with that's close enough.  By doing that, the doctor said my dad only had a slow down due to age, not dementia.  

That was not true that day and things steadily went downhill.  It was the same doctor who wrote dementia on his death certificate.

I know my therapist does thorough evaluations of patients for dementia.  They take about 90 minutes and no one else can be around for most of it.  They tell the care giver to leave and be back at a certain time.  That kind of testing would give a more accurate result.  

She had told me the family practioner must refer the patient and then the wait is several months to get an appointment.

Right?  My grandmother can still pass several of those doctor's office tests.


Anyone who would have seen my grandmother's house last Thanksgiving would agree something is very wrong.  My grandmother went from a woman whose house was so clean you could eat off her bathroom floor to. .. that.   That was NOT a normal age/health decline in cleaning.  That was mental illness.

What DH saw and what I saw is going to haunt us for a LONG time.

Her spatial reasoning isn't going, or at least isn't as fast as the rest.  Those were the types of tests the doctor's office was giving so they would send my dad home saying she's fine to live alone.   Or she'd happen to be having a good day when it was time for the test.  They wouldn't listen to my dad about the behavioral changes, it was "just old age".   

My grandma had several without my dad there and passed with flying colors.  Yet she couldn't repeat the results when doing the at home questions with my dad.  He finally demanded to sit in and that's when he found out how loose they were about answers and were giving her hints.

Even with everything that happened my dad STILL had to fight/beg/yell to get her properly assessed by an actual neurologist.   Even now it's still a debate regarding level of care but at least we got someone to finally acknowledge she ain't right and cannot be living at home anymore.

[cooper88]

Mar 7, 2022 15:48:55 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

After watching what the doctor did when we took dad for a dementia test, I don't trust those tests.  Part of it depends on who is giving the test.  The nurse let lots of incorrect answers "slide" with that's close enough.  By doing that, the doctor said my dad only had a slow down due to age, not dementia.  

That was not true that day and things steadily went downhill.  It was the same doctor who wrote dementia on his death certificate.

I know my therapist does thorough evaluations of patients for dementia.  They take about 90 minutes and no one else can be around for most of it.  They tell the care giver to leave and be back at a certain time.  That kind of testing would give a more accurate result.  

She had told me the family practioner must refer the patient and then the wait is several months to get an appointment.

My mom had early onset Alzheimers. SSA referred us to a psychiatrist and that was exactly what happened. He talked to me when she first went back, then told me to come back in about an hour. I went downstairs and found some coffee and walked around a little then came back. I was only gone about twenty minutes. My mom and the psychiatrist were waiting for me in the waiting room. He said my evaluation didn't take as long as I thought and you can pick up the documentation you need tomorrow.

[TheOtherMe]

When I used to go to the office, I used to see the therapists escorting the person being evaluated back to the waiting room.  My therapist said it was for a break from the testing and to get them out of the testing environment.  The 90 minute evaluation is very tiring for the patient, even they don't know why they are there.

I recorded my dad's evaluation.  I think I have listened to it twice.  Every time I listen to it, I get very angry because it was so obvious he was not competent and should not have been living alone.  He must have asked a dozen times why was he there.  

Sadly it is the only recording I have of my dad's voice so I don't know when I can bring myself to delete it.  

[NoNamePerson]

Mar 7, 2022 18:19:59 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

When I used to go to the office, I used to see the therapists escorting the person being evaluated back to the waiting room.  My therapist said it was for a break from the testing and to get them out of the testing environment.  The 90 minute evaluation is very tiring for the patient, even they don't know why they are there.

I recorded my dad's evaluation.  I think I have listened to it twice.  Every time I listen to it, I get very angry because it was so obvious he was not competent and should not have been living alone.  He must have asked a dozen times why was he there.  

Sadly it is the only recording I have of my dad's voice so I don't know when I can bring myself to delete it.  

[TheOtherMe]

Can't listen to it and can't delete it.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 8, 2022 17:15:17 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Can't listen to it and can't delete it.

Save it. In the future, you will want to hear you dad's voice again. Ignore the reason why it was taped. Just cherish the voice itself.

[NoNamePerson]

Mar 8, 2022 18:02:33 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Mar 8, 2022 17:15:17 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Can't listen to it and can't delete it.

Save it. In the future, you will want to hear you dad's voice again. Ignore the reason why it was taped. Just cherish the voice itself.

[raeoflyte]

I've told this before too, but dgf forgot who I was but loved babies and kids. When I had ds, dgf would hold him and smile and just loved him, but as soon as I would leave the room he'd ask my mom whose baby he had. We got another 2 good years with dgf and it really was my son that brought him back. Ds was about 2 and he and I went into their apartment. My grandmother was at an activity and dgf says, "now who is this?" And I replied. "Hi gramps, This is 'ds'" and dgf stopped looked at me with the most annoyed eyes he had and said, "I know." And he always knew ds, even if he never (or rarely) did place me again.

I'm pretty well doomed for dementia having bad cases on both sides of the family. And worse, mean cases of it. If I could be confused but content that's sad but OK.

[stillmovingforward]

That would be my mother "confused but content". We tell her everyday who we are and what's going to happen. She has sticky notes everywhere as reminders. Once DD1 moves out, I'm not sure why I'll do for help. She's been a godsend with chatting with gramma.