Mama love

[thyme4change]

I am going to visit my daughter at college. She has been away a month, and seems to be doing okay. I am going to bake some brownies and take them to her. I was not much of a baker, so at no point will she be like "This reminds me of home."

What did your mother send (or bring) you in a care package that made you feel the love? I am sure there are lots of creative mothers out there who know how to get straight to the heart. I would love to hear your stories.

[Tennesseer]

Do any of your DD's childhood stuffed toys still exist?  Any one in particular she was especially attached to?

If yes, how about fixing/dressing it up and sending it to her.

[Tennesseer]

Many years ago (25 years?) my mom made me a strip of some type of green cloth and attached to it were four bells.  It had a loop you attached to a door handle.  So when you opened the door the bells would ring.  It was for Christmas.

I attached it to the inside of my front door handle.  I never took it off.  Still there today.  It does remind me of my mom.  And it also would sound if someone bad was trying to enter the house from the front door.

[pulmonarymd]

Food to share with friends is always good. Insomnia cookies is a chain that delivers to college campuses, and is open late. If there is one around her school, they are a good choice. I found my sons were appreciative of any care package, but they were not that sentimental. Pictures of our pets were appreciated. They always seemed to be happy to find an expensive restaurant to good out to eat, and to take their friends. Funny, isn't it.

[wvugurl26]

Things I liked getting home made rice Krispy treats from my grandma and my stepmom would send cards from the dog. They made me laugh and brightened up the day.

[giramomma]

Once, my Dad made these monster rice krispie bars. I think he made a double batch and put it into a pan.

I still remember how giggity my roommate and I were to get those in the mail. (Mail! I'm so old).

An extra $20 slipped in a card was really a nice treat. (Again, I'm so old that drinking starbucks/beverages from a coffee house several times a week wasn't a need).

It was more the support for some of my activities. But, easier said than done when you are perform rather than write papers/take exams for coursework.

Lump me in the not so sentimental crowd. Really, I needed space to be me.

[minnesotapaintlady]

My son would lose it if I brought his cats along for a visit.  His cats however, would also lose it. 

[azucena]

My grandma used to clip fast food coupons and mail them to me with a card and handwritten note.  Every couple of weeks, I'd get mail and a bunch of coupons would fall out.  Saving a $1 or 2 off subway, etc was nice, but it was mostly that she was thinking of me.

I don't think you can go wrong with any kind of mail.  Finding something in my mailbox was always a good day.

I have a few yrs yet, but I'm thinking laundry pods are a nice college staple.  No more lugging jugs of detergent to community laundry. 

Coffee shop gift cards.  Kinda glad I didn't have to have a coffee budget during college LOL.

Spirit wear - I was always too broke to buy the more expensive college branded sweatshirts, hats, etc, so I always envied my friends.

Stuff for the roommate(s) will earn you extra brownie points with her and them.

My last year, I lived in a dorm suite with a girl who's parents had lots of money.  They would randomly email the 4 of us roommates that pizzas were being delivered for dinner that evening or for late night studying during finals week.  This was pre-cell phone era 

[swamp]

My dad would bring me a case of beer.

[stillmovingforward]

I never ask(ed) what they are doing on the weekends. Send small amounts of money each month with no requirement on how they spend it ($100). That's pretty much it.

[ners]

I will just say if you mail a package make sure it list the full name not just the first name. The employees in the mail center have a difficult time figuring out who Joe is
🤣

[haapai]

Sept 16, 2021 10:57:52 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I am going to visit my daughter at college. She has been away a month, and seems to be doing okay. I am going to bake some brownies and take them to her. I was not much of a baker, so at no point will she be like "This reminds me of home."

What did your mother send (or bring) you in a care package that made you feel the love? I am sure there are lots of creative mothers out there who know how to get straight to the heart. I would love to hear your stories.

Someone needs to point out to you that you might be making this trip for yourself.

Admitting as much to your daughter might be the best thing that you can do.  She's gonna be confused by the brownies that you have never baked before, so showering her with laundry pods will probably make her more willing to put up with your loneliness. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My parents didn't mail anything they weren't the type but my dad would fill up my car when I was home and there would be $20 magically in my wallet.  That $20 was nice when the cafeteria was closed and I didn't want to subsist on whatever I could nuke. 


My mom would email regularly about random stuff that happened during the week.  I'd look forward to those after a stressful week of tests, it was nice to escape into the latest pug escapades.

[pulmonarymd]

Take her and her friends out to dinner. She won't care why you are there.

[thyme4change]

Sept 16, 2021 14:55:41 GMT -5 haapai said:

Sept 16, 2021 10:57:52 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I am going to visit my daughter at college. She has been away a month, and seems to be doing okay. I am going to bake some brownies and take them to her. I was not much of a baker, so at no point will she be like "This reminds me of home."

What did your mother send (or bring) you in a care package that made you feel the love? I am sure there are lots of creative mothers out there who know how to get straight to the heart. I would love to hear your stories.

Someone needs to point out to you that you might be making this trip for yourself.

Admitting as much to your daughter might be the best thing that you can do.  She's gonna be confused by the brownies that you have never baked before, so showering her with laundry pods will probably make her more willing to put up with your loneliness. 

It isnt that I don't bake at all - it is just when I am dead she won't including 'loved to bake' on how she remembers me (unless of course I turn into a baker in my old age - which i totally could do.) I baked her cookies the first week she was gone and she loved them. But if my kids were to tell you the flavors they have associated with me, it wouldn't be baked goods - it would probably be pasta. 🍝

This time around I am actually going to see her, so I will be hand delivering the brownies. But, you guys inspired me to write her more cards and letters.

[thyme4change]

Sept 16, 2021 12:55:43 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

My son would lose it if I brought his cats along for a visit.  His cats however, would also lose it. 

Bringing her cat would be amazing. But, that isn't going to happen.

[thyme4change]

Sept 16, 2021 14:45:39 GMT -5 ners said:

I will just say if you mail a package make sure it list the full name not just the first name. The employees in the mail center have a difficult time figuring out who Joe is
🤣

Lol. - I always do, but good advice.

[thyme4change]

Sept 16, 2021 15:22:03 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Take her and her friends out to dinner. She won't care why you are there.

That goes without saying. We will probably do two "nice" dinners.

We have already been discussing restaurants we would like to try. 🙃

[wvugurl26]

My first year especially, it was awesome to get mail. It really helped. There are some great suggestions here.

[TheOtherMe]

When DN1 went off to college, my sister decided to surprise him on his birthday with a cake and presents.  I was living in Iowa then and I drove the grandparents and we went to Ames.  

From his reaction, I know he had other plans for his birthday that didn't include his family singing happy birthday in the lobby of the dorm.  

For the difference in our relationships, I went to see Elton John in concert during his freshmen year and he let me spend the night in the dorm room.  His roommate just left one day and never came back.  DN1 figured he would get a new roommate at the semester but that didn't happen either.  So he had a single room.  

The strange part was wanting to take a shower the next morning.  I had to go to a girls' floor and he had to explain what I was doing there to a couple of his friends.  

His mom doesn't know this story.

[thyme4change]

Sept 16, 2021 16:43:12 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

When DN1 went off to college, my sister decided to surprise him on his birthday with a cake and presents.  I was living in Iowa then and I drove the grandparents and we went to Ames.  

From his reaction, I know he had other plans for his birthday that didn't include his family singing happy birthday in the lobby of the dorm.  

For the difference in our relationships, I went to see Elton John in concert during his freshmen year and he let me spend the night in the dorm room.  His roommate just left one day and never came back.  DN1 figured he would get a new roommate at the semester but that didn't happen either.  So he had a single room.  

The strange part was wanting to take a shower the next morning.  I had to go to a girls' floor and he had to explain what I was doing there to a couple of his friends.  

His mom doesn't know this story.

This problem is rapidly going away as the bathrooms in many dorms are gender neutral.

When I saw the bathrooms, I realized how it wasn't a big deal. Each toilet is in its own room. It is the size of a stall, but the walls are complete - floor to ceiling, and the door is a real door with a lock. Same with the showers. I'm guessing we have reached a point in our society where men and women are able to wash their hands in the same row of sinks without a major problem. Even though it does feel a little weird - but that is just me having 50 years of something different. If the only true argument you have against it is "it just seems not right" - then there probably isn't a real problem.

[kadee79]

Right after my son got out of boot camp in the Navy, I mailed him a 2 layer cake.  I packed it in air popped, unsalted popcorn.  He opened the box on the main floor of his barracks and took the cake up stairs to his room.  When he had hidden it, he came back down for the box with the popcorn...the popcorn was all gone.  The guys in the rec room had seen it and gobbled it all up.
Can't imagine eating no grease/butter, no salt popcorn.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 16, 2021 14:20:03 GMT -5 swamp said:

My dad would bring me a case of beer.

LOL!  So did mine!

[thyme4change]

Sept 16, 2021 20:38:52 GMT -5 kadee79 said:

Right after my son got out of boot camp in the Navy, I mailed him a 2 layer cake.  I packed it in air popped, unsalted popcorn.  He opened the box on the main floor of his barracks and took the cake up stairs to his room.  When he had hidden it, he came back down for the box with the popcorn...the popcorn was all gone.  The guys in the rec room had seen it and gobbled it all up.
Can't imagine eating no grease/butter, no salt popcorn.

🤣 We have been doing some movie nights at my friends houses, and to be thematic we all feel the need to make popcorn. I clarify a stick of butter and put it over the popcorn with the appropriate salt, etc. I make a real effort. My friends put out dry (but salted) popcorn, and you know what - we eat it. 😂😂

[thyme4change]

My brownies kinda sucked. Not sure what I did wrong, but I took them to her anyway. I also cut up a mango and she got pretty excited about that. 🤣

We went to dinner at an Italian place, and she took home all the leftovers - so she has dinner for tonight. And we took her to Target and grocery shopping.

All good.