thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,393
|
Post by thyme4change on Sept 10, 2021 9:42:06 GMT -5
I have mentioned here that I am not liking my job right now. My new boss treats me like an idiot, I am working 2 FT jobs, and basically, everyone has lost confidence in me. Now until mid-October is the most busy time of the year, and around that point I will get someone hired. But, that doesn't change other's attitudes about me and my performance. Plus, I have to train the new person, and I have a feeling my boss will undermine me.
I have been holding my ground because we get an annual bonus in January. Last year it was sizeable and accounted for about 25% of my total compensation. This year won't be quite as big, but will still be enough to pay for one whole year of my kid's college and living expenses, with a cushion.
How much money is worth it to be miserable for 5 months?
|
|
pulmonarymd
Junior Associate
Joined: Feb 12, 2020 17:40:54 GMT -5
Posts: 7,368
|
Post by pulmonarymd on Sept 10, 2021 9:47:49 GMT -5
Having paid a painful amount of tuition over the last 12 years, a years worth of tuition sounds like it to me.
|
|
|
Post by minnesotapaintlady on Sept 10, 2021 9:58:40 GMT -5
I could suffer through quite a bit for 5 months if I knew I could quit at that point.
|
|
Rukh O'Rorke
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 4, 2016 13:31:15 GMT -5
Posts: 10,030
|
Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Sept 10, 2021 10:10:59 GMT -5
I have mentioned here that I am not liking my job right now. My new boss treats me like an idiot, I am working 2 FT jobs, and basically, everyone has lost confidence in me. Now until mid-October is the most busy time of the year, and around that point I will get someone hired. But, that doesn't change other's attitudes about me and my performance. Plus, I have to train the new person, and I have a feeling my boss will undermine me. I have been holding my ground because we get an annual bonus in January. Last year it was sizeable and accounted for about 25% of my total compensation. This year won't be quite as big, but will still be enough to pay for one whole year of my kid's college and living expenses, with a cushion. How much money is worth it to be miserable for 5 months? how much money do you have? What percent of that pot is the bonus?
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,393
|
Post by thyme4change on Sept 10, 2021 11:13:55 GMT -5
I could suffer through quite a bit for 5 months if I knew I could quit at that point. I think I am going to wait it out. My biggest fear is that they will fire me right before they announce bonuses - so I will put up with the pain, and still not get the bonus. At least I will have 4.5 months of additional salary, I guess.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,393
|
Post by thyme4change on Sept 10, 2021 11:20:16 GMT -5
I have mentioned here that I am not liking my job right now. My new boss treats me like an idiot, I am working 2 FT jobs, and basically, everyone has lost confidence in me. Now until mid-October is the most busy time of the year, and around that point I will get someone hired. But, that doesn't change other's attitudes about me and my performance. Plus, I have to train the new person, and I have a feeling my boss will undermine me. I have been holding my ground because we get an annual bonus in January. Last year it was sizeable and accounted for about 25% of my total compensation. This year won't be quite as big, but will still be enough to pay for one whole year of my kid's college and living expenses, with a cushion. How much money is worth it to be miserable for 5 months? how much money do you have? What percent of that pot is the bonus? I am somewhere between 'not quite enough to retire' and 'I would be okay if I have earned my last dime via paycheck.' And even if I did stop earning money, I could probably still fund most of my kids' schooling. The bonus might be up to 1.75% of what we currently have in investments (not including our home value, or other random non-monetary assets). Wow - never did the math that way - that makes it seem even bigger.
|
|
steph08
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 13:06:01 GMT -5
Posts: 5,450
|
Post by steph08 on Sept 10, 2021 11:44:34 GMT -5
I could put up with a lot for what seems like a large amount of money.
Is there any way to change others' attitudes about you? Is it because you're overworked doing two jobs, or is it because your boss is telling everyone you're an idiot?
I put up with a boss that berated our team and told us we were terrible for 6 months. I found a new job and was going to leave when they fired her.
|
|
azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,199
|
Post by azucena on Sept 10, 2021 11:51:35 GMT -5
Seems like the amount is enough to hold on for. Can you do the math to get $/hour that you'd be earning? Sometimes putting it that way helps me.
Can you do the work and ignore the crap? Way easier said than done but worth a shot. Do the work, go home, and turn off work brain.
Several incompetent people around me are making my work so much harder, inefficient, etc. Folks making the wrong decisions, not wanting to make a decision, etc, and I have no way to hold them accountable. So I'm left playing defense by documenting everything so it's clear what steps I took and then letting chips fall where they may. We almost lost a huge deal that we'd worked long and hard on because we couldn't control the internal shenanigans. My sales partner was brilliant in handling it to cross the finish line, but even she said she debated stepping back and letting it fall apart so senior management can see the daily internal crazy that is making us nuts. That's what it's going to take to make changes.
|
|
sesfw
Junior Associate
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 15:45:17 GMT -5
Posts: 6,268
|
Post by sesfw on Sept 10, 2021 11:52:32 GMT -5
My biggest fear is that they will fire me right before they announce bonuses
This reminds me of a family owned department store in a town I lived in 40 yrs ago. They had a reputation of firing people just before retirement age, and therefore losing their pension. Of course family members were allowed to retire with honors.
Only know of one non-family person that managed to get retirement before being let go. He took a medical retirement, and the whole town laughed at the store.
Hang in there and look at the light at end of tunnel.
|
|
Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
Posts: 13,365
|
Post by Tiny on Sept 10, 2021 12:34:03 GMT -5
I could put up with quite a bit for 5 months (or up to a year). I would need to know the "end date" and would be working on the plan for what I would be doing as that date approached and once it was past. If you are really serious about giving up the awfulness of this job - I'd start working on your exit plan that ends with an exit within a few weeks of getting your bonus. I'd start looking at your income and savings now - odds are you will need to sign up for healthcare for 2022 in a few months and maybe you will want to change your retirement contributions (maybe figure out how to front load some of the accounts during the first 2 or 3 months of 2022? or not...) I'd start thinking about what your next job looks and feels like. And where you want that job to be located (suburbs? city? public transportation? drive? Work From Home?) I'd brush up your resume. In the past many employers didn't do much hiring over the Holiday month (december thru mid January sometimes the end of January). If you are serious about toughing out the situation rather than quit now... I'd come up with a plan and then work it/stick to it. If you just need something to "soothe" you into staying with the job "because maybe it will get better in the future - it I just hag on long enough...." - just keep thinking about that bonus. I'm sure in 5 months some new carrot will appear that will make staying not so awful. If they fire you before you get the bonus - at least you had 4 or 5 months to effect your finances/investments and prep for a job change WHILE getting paid to do so. FWIW: I stuck out 12 months of employment so I wouldn't loose my "tuition re-imbursement $$" about 4K back then along with a "company year end bonus that happened in July" I had no "strings left hanging" that would complicate my "I quit!". I had a replacement job in Month 12 line up. I spent 6 months just hanging on and taking a stab at "streamlining" my finances (ie saving more money), I spent 7 thru 9 thinking about where I wanted to work (suburbs or city) and even did some weekday test commutes to various suburban places. In month 9 I updated my resume. in month 10 I contacted a "headhunter" with my requirements and my "I won't be available to start a new job until date X". I went on a couple of "practice" interviews. And then a bunch of serious ones where two panned out to a job offer and I took one.
|
|
Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
Posts: 13,365
|
Post by Tiny on Sept 10, 2021 12:44:34 GMT -5
I don't think you lose all pension benefits if you get fired, especially if you aren't ARE vested. The benefit of a pension would be worthless if you worked for years and years and the one requirement was that you were employed by the employer on the date of your retirement/last day of work with the employer.
FWIW: I am 100% vested in my employer's pension plan. The way the plan is structured it would be in my best interest to be 100% vested and to work for my employer until I am 62. If I quit or am fired before 62 I loose an extra bit of niceness that was worked into the the pension plan back in the 1970's that pays out between 62 and 65. BUT, if I quit or am fired before I am 62 - I am still entitled to the pension that will automatically begin when I am 65. For what it;s worth the pension plan I am covered by was modified 6 months after I started working for my employer. New employees are covered by a slightly different pension plan (it does NOT have that bit of sweetness for long term employees who retire at 62...) and appears to be intended to work hand in hand with the employer offered 401K. I am not expecting to work for my employer until I am 62 (another 5 years). I have 2 co-workers who are were hired before me or right after me - who are covered by the "nicer" plan...they are a little older than I am - and I think that they are "holding on" with the plan to get to 62 and then quit and take the pension....they will have more than 25 years in the pension plan and will have a very nice retirement.
|
|
jeffreymo
Familiar Member
Joined: Jan 21, 2011 12:32:17 GMT -5
Posts: 968
|
Post by jeffreymo on Sept 10, 2021 12:58:47 GMT -5
I would try to get another job. Definitely not quit. Sometimes job hunts can take a while, maybe even the 5 months that you need to lapse before the bonus.
You could get an offer for more money. Maybe they would even give you a sign on bonus to start if you mention your current bonus payout and timing.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Sept 10, 2021 13:08:17 GMT -5
I would mention (gently) how you were screwed over with training that other person and their quickly moving into a different role. People sometimes have short memories.
|
|
Rukh O'Rorke
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 4, 2016 13:31:15 GMT -5
Posts: 10,030
|
Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Sept 10, 2021 13:29:07 GMT -5
how much money do you have? What percent of that pot is the bonus? I am somewhere between 'not quite enough to retire' and 'I would be okay if I have earned my last dime via paycheck.' And even if I did stop earning money, I could probably still fund most of my kids' schooling. The bonus might be up to 1.75% of what we currently have in investments (not including our home value, or other random non-monetary assets). Wow - never did the math that way - that makes it seem even bigger. Maybe that is your answer then? The other mathy part says, according to phil - that you would earn that much on your investments in about 2 months. you know - on average. who knows what the next 2 months will bring. If you quit - would dh's paycheck pay the bills? Or would you have to cut back/draw down on investments? And - how insanely miserably are you? And how much do you want to stick it to the man!! (imagine Jack black voice). What about coworkers who would end up with the slack to pick up?
|
|
saveinla
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 2:00:29 GMT -5
Posts: 5,222
|
Post by saveinla on Sept 10, 2021 13:36:55 GMT -5
I have been talking with my DH about similar scenarios. I have been telling him to be diligent in his job, as I may up and quit my job one day if I feel like it.
I am not miserable yet and my boss and his' really appreciate my work, but as I get older I am of the mindset that I dont have to put up with all this crap. If not for healthcare, it would be a very easy decision.
|
|
Rukh O'Rorke
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 4, 2016 13:31:15 GMT -5
Posts: 10,030
|
Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Sept 10, 2021 13:38:45 GMT -5
I could suffer through quite a bit for 5 months if I knew I could quit at that point. I think I am going to wait it out. My biggest fear is that they will fire me right before they announce bonuses - so I will put up with the pain, and still not get the bonus. At least I will have 4.5 months of additional salary, I guess. what is the probability of that do you think? would you have any recourse if they did?
|
|
vonna
Well-Known Member
Joined: Aug 11, 2012 15:58:51 GMT -5
Posts: 1,249
|
Post by vonna on Sept 10, 2021 15:08:53 GMT -5
I am sorry. It sucks to be miserable at work. And, you are likely being very hard on yourself in your interpretation that people have lost confidence in you. I hope if you choose to stay things will start feeling better for you!!
|
|
Rukh O'Rorke
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 4, 2016 13:31:15 GMT -5
Posts: 10,030
|
Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Sept 10, 2021 15:18:43 GMT -5
|
|
imawino
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 22:58:16 GMT -5
Posts: 5,359
|
Post by imawino on Sept 10, 2021 15:41:34 GMT -5
I have mentioned here that I am not liking my job right now. My new boss treats me like an idiot, I am working 2 FT jobs, and basically, everyone has lost confidence in me. Now until mid-October is the most busy time of the year, and around that point I will get someone hired. But, that doesn't change other's attitudes about me and my performance. Plus, I have to train the new person, and I have a feeling my boss will undermine me. I have been holding my ground because we get an annual bonus in January. Last year it was sizeable and accounted for about 25% of my total compensation. This year won't be quite as big, but will still be enough to pay for one whole year of my kid's college and living expenses, with a cushion. How much money is worth it to be miserable for 5 months? Hey Thyme, I'm really sorry work is terrible right now. I say a year of college expenses is worth 5 months - but that's easy to say over here where I know bupkis about what's going on at work. If it is health-impacting misery, leave. You guys are a successful two-income household, I know you will be okay. If it's possible to reframe your thinking and make it through 5 months with physical and mental health intact, then go for it. I can do zoom yoga classes with you if you want. I do suspect you are being hard on yourself about how others see you, as a prior poster said. You seem pretty capable. But what do I know?! Given how busy you've said it is, and that you are doing 2 jobs, I'm going to guess this is a no - but any chance you could take some vacation days?
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,393
|
Post by thyme4change on Sept 10, 2021 15:51:23 GMT -5
Thanks everyone. This is helping. I suspect I will be all over the place day to day, meeting to meeting. I have a nice moment, and I feel okay. Something goes wrong, and I question my ability to stick it out. steph08 and azucena - I am hoping my boss is just trying to understand. We are certainly having trouble getting on the same page. In some cases, he asks good questions. Others I wonder what he is thinking. Either way, he interrupts a lot and makes me change gears which is making me look even more scatterbrained than I already am. My example today was he sent an email to the GM and said "we have a meeting on Monday - let's carve out some time during that meeting to discuss XYZ". The entire meeting is supposed to be about XYZ. I scheduled it specifically to talk about all the XYZ things. I dont know what he thought we were going to do in the XYZ meeting if it wasn't XYZ. So, maybe we just have a fundamental communication problem. Tiny and Rukh O'Rorke - my hubby can cover the bills and I am on his healthcare - so that is comforting as compared to when we were young, broke and on my benefits. If I did quit, most of the pain would fall on my boss and his staff - granted, some people will miss me, but I don't have a close coworker that will suddenly have 3 jobs. As far as my next job - my plan was to stay here until the kids graduate and then leave capitalism and do something different (which is kinda laughable because I have narrow skills). I was expecting to take a significant paycut, maybe just volunteer. But, that was supposed to be after the kids leave. I also need some time to soul search on that.
|
|
busymom
Distinguished Associate
Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:09:36 GMT -5
Posts: 28,363
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IPauJ5.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0D317F
Mini-Profile Text Color: 0D317F
|
Post by busymom on Sept 10, 2021 16:10:37 GMT -5
My biggest fear is that they will fire me right before they announce bonusesThis reminds me of a family owned department store in a town I lived in 40 yrs ago. They had a reputation of firing people just before retirement age, and therefore losing their pension. Of course family members were allowed to retire with honors. Only know of one non-family person that managed to get retirement before being let go. He took a medical retirement, and the whole town laughed at the store. Hang in there and look at the light at end of tunnel. I worked for a similar company, before my kids were born. The company would let people go just before they were fully vested in the company retirement plan. Then, they'd try & fight the unemployment claims, which the company always lost and had to pay, but they'd always try to fight so they wouldn't have to pay. I was SO glad to get out of there!
|
|
laterbloomer
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2018 0:50:42 GMT -5
Posts: 4,350
|
Post by laterbloomer on Sept 10, 2021 18:31:10 GMT -5
I held out for a pay cheque. I thought the money made it worth it. It wasn't until after they let me go that I realised just how hard it had been on me. I wouldn't do it again. There is a lot to be said for the emotional impact of walking away from asshats.
|
|
stillmovingforward
Senior Member
Hanging on by a thread
Joined: Jan 1, 2014 21:52:58 GMT -5
Posts: 3,066
Today's Mood: Don't Mess with Me!
Location: Not Sure Yet
|
Post by stillmovingforward on Sept 10, 2021 18:54:11 GMT -5
Personally, I'd do 2 things. 1. Tell the kids to pay for their own schooling. FWIW, I made my kids pay their own and none of them unduly suffered. 2. Bank that money as an escape route for your mental health in case work gets crazy bad. Just knowing you have a 'f$÷^ plan' helps a lot in hanging on until the possible bonus. You can always retroactively give a kid money to pay off some student loans if things get better.
|
|
ajmom
Initiate Member
Joined: May 7, 2017 12:46:28 GMT -5
Posts: 62
|
Post by ajmom on Sept 10, 2021 20:08:32 GMT -5
Nothing is worth losing your mental health over, but if you must stay for 5 months, can you make it as easy ok yourself as you can? I’m not saying to slack off — but maybe just do the minimum well and try to be at peace with how they treat you.
Maybe do little things for yourself (doesn’t have to cost much, if at alll) rhat you can look forward to? My suggestion would be to get one of those physical “count down calendars” that you can see roll down the seconds. I got one 15 years before I was eligible to retire, and I got a big kick out of seeing the seconds roll down, especially when I was feeling down. It also made me laugh to see how different people reacted to it: some loved it and others thought I was being too much of a maverick for displaying the two-inch clock on my desk. It was great fun. And made me smile.
So — anything that makes you smile or laugh will help you get through the 5 months. However, if your mental health is suffering, get out now if you can. Peace to you and good luck.
Oh - — I kind of wish now I had made my kids take out a small loan for their college. I paid it all as I had felt bad with all the student debt I personally had. But — it wouldn’t have killed them to have to pay $5000 a year — as someone said, you can always help them with it later if you have the money. Just make sure they do pay it off so the $5000 a year doesn’t balloon. Take care.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 21,302
|
Post by giramomma on Sept 10, 2021 21:56:46 GMT -5
Honestly, in your position, I'd look for a new job and leave. Given what you've posted, I'm hardpressed to believe that the bonus is going to drastically move the needle to improve your life.
When I am miserable at work, I'm crying on my 20 minute commute into work and usually good for a couple more sessions of crying throughout the day..If it's bad enough, I'm crying when I wake up just thinking about having to go into the office.. Or, I'm upset enough to walk out and never come back. I also stress eat to cope.
Having an idiot leader..meh. That's par for the course at my job. Idiots come and go. The one we have now..he thinks he has two more years until he retires. I think the last time work didn't feel like an exercise in walking on shifting sand was about 6 years ago. It's totally within your right to not like that sort of work environment. One of my colleagues actually left, because she hated feeling like she was walking on shifting sand and couldn't take it for more than two years. There were also issues with our small team at that time..blatant favoritism between coworkers that seemed a little too close. During that time, too, we'd walk into work and hear directives like "That project is a go" only to be told "sorry, that project is a no-go" anywhere from 2-4 weeks later. That happened a couple of times each on two particularly large projects. The fun thing about that is that the "leaders" left it up to us peons to communicate the changes to our stakeholders. Yes, I looked like I had egg on my face. But, I have to say 5 years later, now..I'm sure my stakeholder don't even remember that time. I have wonderful relationships with those stakeholders that I looked like a dumbass infront of.
One of my friends used make changes based on a certain number of times something happens. So, she refused to buy a cell phone until she had 10 experiences in which she decided it was an absolute need. Once, she slipped on ice and cut her knee open. That was an experience where she decided having a cell phone was a need, and wished she could have had one. You could do something similar. When you've hit miserable x number of times, you decide to look for a new job.
|
|
plugginaway22
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 10:18:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,655
|
Post by plugginaway22 on Sept 11, 2021 5:54:10 GMT -5
I just did this, worked in a miserable environment for about a year, waiting to be done/retire after the 'buyout'. I was a key employee and they promised me a significant bonus to stay through the transition. It totally sucked but I made it and am glad that I did. But I knew if I sucked it up that carrot was waiting...to do it with the uncertainty of getting that carrot? Extra difficult I am sure!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 26, 2024 0:40:40 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2021 16:29:20 GMT -5
Like a lot of posters have said, I can put up with some crap if there is a definite end in sight, where I get what I want. I could probably do 5 months if it would benefit me and after those 5 months I would be free.
BUT I’m also over doing something that makes me miserable everyday. My job isn’t as horrible these days as it has been at times in the past. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’m tired. I can’t figure out how to fix my own shit, but I wholeheartedly support people that say enough! and change things up so they don’t spend every day doing something or being somewhere that makes them miserable and/or is bad for their mental health. I don’t have any letters behind my name, but my uneducated guess is that a job that causes you to cry regularly is probably bad for your mental health. There has to be more to life than that, I don’t believe we were put on this earth to sacrifice our well being for money.
There’s no dollar amount that’s worth your mental health suffering to that degree. For you, it’s not a matter of whether you can survive if you choose you over your job, so you do have that going for you. I’m just a stranger on the Internet, but I believe you are bright and capable…. that you have the ability to continue to do well for yourself and your family, one way or another, even if you no longer work this particular job.
I’m guessing your husband knows how unhappy you are with your job. How does he feel about it and what does he think you should do?
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,350
|
Post by NastyWoman on Sept 11, 2021 17:27:04 GMT -5
I could suffer through quite a bit for 5 months if I knew I could quit at that point. I think I am going to wait it out. My biggest fear is that they will fire me right before they announce bonuses - so I will put up with the pain, and still not get the bonus. At least I will have 4.5 months of additional salary, I guess. This is what would be a big part in my stay/walk decision. Is this something they are known to do? If so, has the incidence of this been increasing? It really comes down to a risk analysis. ETA: years ago a friend had accepted a new job and was going to give her 2 weeks notice a few days before she was fully vested. I had heard through the grapevine that senior management at the time had this new "cost savings" method by firing anyone who was within the 2 weeks of vesting when resigning. I put some feelers out and got that confirmed. I told my friend and she left with 10 days notice and the company match intact. Would they have fired her and cost her several $10k? Who knows but she chose not to risk it.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,163
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on Sept 11, 2021 19:33:43 GMT -5
When I was in this situation at the IRS, the early retirement offer came up. I did stay until the last day possible, but since both management and I knew I was retiring, they no longer gave me knew work. Just wanted me to finish up what I had.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Sept 12, 2021 9:40:04 GMT -5
If you were to give notice right now, would they make promises in order to keep you? It's risky, as it's only a bell that can be rung once.
|
|