reader79
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Post by reader79 on Apr 15, 2011 7:45:02 GMT -5
I only have two graduations, my cousin (college) and my brother (high school.) The cousin lives and goes to school in North Carolina, he's been collecting addresses - for invitations or announcements, i'm not sure, but I'll probably send him $50. My brother wants $300 special edition sneakers.......I'll get right on that. He won't even guarantee me a seat at the ceremony - you know, in case someone else may be in town.
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crockpottin
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Post by crockpottin on Apr 15, 2011 8:40:00 GMT -5
I usually buy from the registry, it makes my life so much easier than trying to figure out what style they might like in their bathroom or whatever. I know some people find registries tacky but I think they're perfect for big events like weddings. If there isn't a registry or its been cleaned out already, then the amount of cash I give depends on how close I am to the person. Past gifts have been anywhere between $50-$200.
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jeffreymo
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Post by jeffreymo on Apr 15, 2011 9:04:08 GMT -5
We only received 2 invites thus far. $40 on shower gift, and $100 cash for the wedding gift.
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spartan7886
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Post by spartan7886 on Apr 15, 2011 9:10:37 GMT -5
For a wedding, we usually aim for $50-$75, although for two close friends getting married this year, I picked up some Royal Delft last time I was over there for about 75 Euros a piece. It was a bit painful, but it made it easier to justify the vase I wanted for myself marked down from 1000 Euros to 271 Euros. For a shower, I usually aim for about $30. We do gifts off the registry with the exceptions mentioned above.
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 15, 2011 9:50:49 GMT -5
Zero. I do not go to weddings and indeed are seldom invited. Might have something to do with exchanges like this:
Obnoxious relative asking for the fifth time: "So when are you going to get married?"
Ameiko: I dunno. When are you going to lose those 50 pounds?
Wierd, huh?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 15, 2011 9:57:07 GMT -5
Ameiko!
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reader79
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Post by reader79 on Apr 15, 2011 10:19:40 GMT -5
Weird but profitable.
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 15, 2011 16:48:13 GMT -5
Ameiko! I got very, very, very tired of being asked that question and made it clear on several ocassions that I would not longer brook it. People don't listen... Everytime I tried to answer politely, I would either get condescension, pity or very, very bad advice on meeting and wooing women. Also, family kept trying to hook me up with women whom I had zero desire for (let's just say there is a reason they are single) or guilt me into marrying a single mother in the extended family. So I took the offensive by being offensive and now I no longer have to go to these events I never wanted to go to, spend money better suited for other investments, and have to spend time with people whom I have little in common with. In my book, that's a win.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 15, 2011 16:50:18 GMT -5
Also, family kept trying to hook me up with women whom I had zero desire for (let's just say there is a reason they are single) or guilt me into marrying a single mother in the extended family.Did I really just read that they try to set you up with your own family members? Please say no... I totally get it, I was just yanking your chain. Rudeness deserves rudeness in my book ;D
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Apr 15, 2011 17:14:15 GMT -5
"(let's just say there is a reason they are single)"
This always makes me smile when spoken by another single person.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 15, 2011 17:21:27 GMT -5
Yeah but some people WANT to be single. That comment is usually made about people who are, but don't want to be.
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 15, 2011 18:16:04 GMT -5
Also, family kept trying to hook me up with women whom I had zero desire for (let's just say there is a reason they are single) or guilt me into marrying a single mother in the extended family.Did I really just read that they try to set you up with your own family members? Please say no... I totally get it, I was just yanking your chain. Rudeness deserves rudeness in my book ;D I wrote that poorly, my apologies. More like women who my family knows, friends of family, etc... Leads to all sorts of exchanges when I desired to be nasty: Family member: you should get to know her. Besides, doesn't she deserve a good husband? Ameiko: nope. *walk away* or Family member: it's a tough world out there. You want that little boy growing up without a father. Ameiko: he has a father. Not my bad that his mother dumped him. *walk away* I do not like seeing family that much. I am far more accomplished and responsible than they are yet no wife means I'm not a grownup (or a poor wild stallion that needs to be harnessed to some plow and work the fields for a woman and brood, even if the kids aren't mine).
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 15, 2011 18:19:07 GMT -5
"(let's just say there is a reason they are single)" This always makes me smile when spoken by another single person. *shrug* I am very picky. I have had at least three women I dated seriously who wanted to marry me and I always chose not to. I knew a few women Iwho ahve very stronlgly hinted that I would be a wonderful husband and they want to date me but they are not my type. I am a workhorse for only one person: me. Even with the "right" girl (and there are very few out there IMHO, just as some say there are very few "good men" out there), I have no desire to get married- just don't see the benefit. YMMV.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 16, 2011 16:22:19 GMT -5
Money dances are extremely tacky. I don't care WHAT culture you are. Just ANOTHER form of gift grab.
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LlamaLlamaDuck
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Post by LlamaLlamaDuck on Apr 16, 2011 16:49:12 GMT -5
When the nieces and nephews get married they get a $250 check. I feel like they have a lot of choice with the cash - if they are dead set on having something from their registry, they can buy it, or they can use the cash for something else.
Non-relatives, I do not know, as I have not received an invite to a non-family wedding in a long time. I imagine I would pick something $50-ish from their registry.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Apr 16, 2011 19:52:26 GMT -5
Even with the "right" girl (and there are very few out there IMHO, just as some say there are very few "good men" out there), I have no desire to get married- just don't see the benefit. YMMV. I have to agree with you here. I'm with BF and we've been together for a while and we're in it to win it, but is there a reason to get married?
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trippypea
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Post by trippypea on Apr 17, 2011 9:09:10 GMT -5
I am going to a wedding shower in a couple weeks and I went in with someone else to buy the gift, so spent about $45 (I had a 20% off coupon ;D ). It came off the wedding registry. I also spent another $25 making a pretty gift basket of kitchen utensils for my daughters to give as a gift (the bride invited them too). For the wedding, we will give $100 cash (and the kids will be staying home). This is for a cousin we see once a year.
The money dance is a big thing around here, at least it was when I got married 15 yrs ago. The maid of honor holds the money purse and anyone who wants to dance with the bride lines up and the maid of honor takes their money. I REALLY didn't want to do it, but it's something the older guests expected, and really enjoyed. They got to swing the bride around for half a minute to a polka (I have no idea how to polka!). I remember going through the bag of money later and there were dollar bills folded into origami. We still have them!
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 17, 2011 11:12:32 GMT -5
Even with the "right" girl (and there are very few out there IMHO, just as some say there are very few "good men" out there), I have no desire to get married- just don't see the benefit. YMMV. I have to agree with you here. I'm with BF and we've been together for a while and we're in it to win it, but is there a reason to get married? I thnk if you want to have kids, it makes sense. Dennis Prauger, a conservative talk show host who is pretty chill, once had a called who was defending abortion and he suggested that those children should be put up for adoption. Not trying to go too much OT, especially with a topic like abortion. I just found his comment interesting: "through adoption, you could help a married couple who can not conceive became a truly family." To me, that is what marriage is: a man and a woman getting together to express a lifelong commitment and to have children together. Yes, you can have two people get married say in their 80's who aren't going to have kids or what not but to me, why bother with all those legalities. Again, just personal opinion. I like the idea of marriage but the practice today leaves much to be desired. It's for that reason as well as the harrassment that I don't like going to weddings and was happy to no longer receive the invitations. Back on topic, it also means I get to save money on gifts and travel! ;D
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TD2K
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Post by TD2K on Apr 17, 2011 11:31:11 GMT -5
Besides, doesn't she deserve a good husband?
You want that little boy growing up without a father.LOL. They actually thought these would work? Oh yeah, that's a good social cause I should spend the rest of my life with.
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TD2K
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Post by TD2K on Apr 17, 2011 11:38:52 GMT -5
The money dance is a big thing around here, at least it was when I got married 15 yrs ago.
This is big in Eastern European cultures. I was at one wedding where they were having this and the bride had a lineup out the door and the groom was standing there looking uncomfortable by himself so I danced with him :-). I can't remember what it cost me, it wasn't much.
Half my date's family thought it was hilarious, the other half I think came close to having a coronary.
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 17, 2011 12:16:11 GMT -5
Besides, doesn't she deserve a good husband?
You want that little boy growing up without a father.LOL. They actually thought these would work? Oh yeah, that's a good social cause I should spend the rest of my life with. I know but that is their take. They see a single person and decide that they would just HAVE to be happier with someone else even if it's not who I judge to be a good one. People have tried to set me up on many blind dates but I never agree because with just a few questions I find out: 1. she's a single mother (been there, done that, never again) 2. broke and needs a provider 3. is chunky or unattractive As a successful professional with no kids and 10% bodyfat, why would she be a good fit for me? But then people try to guilt me as if it's my duty to be some sort of white knight savior. Maybe that's just the old fashion attitude some people have or they fear this woman being a burden on them. I dunno but not for me. Anyway, I get to save money by not going to an event that I didn't want to go to. Like I said: it's a win-win for me!
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 17, 2011 12:17:18 GMT -5
I am going to a wedding shower in a couple weeks and I went in with someone else to buy the gift, so spent about $45 (I had a 20% off coupon ;D ). It came off the wedding registry. I also spent another $25 making a pretty gift basket of kitchen utensils for my daughters to give as a gift (the bride invited them too). For the wedding, we will give $100 cash (and the kids will be staying home). This is for a cousin we see once a year. The money dance is a big thing around here, at least it was when I got married 15 yrs ago. The maid of honor holds the money purse and anyone who wants to dance with the bride lines up and the maid of honor takes their money. I REALLY didn't want to do it, but it's something the older guests expected, and really enjoyed. They got to swing the bride around for half a minute to a polka (I have no idea how to polka!). I remember going through the bag of money later and there were dollar bills folded into origami. We still have them! That's adorable!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 18, 2011 9:25:28 GMT -5
Besides, doesn't she deserve a good husband?
You want that little boy growing up without a father.LOL. They actually thought these would work? Oh yeah, that's a good social cause I should spend the rest of my life with. I know but that is their take. They see a single person and decide that they would just HAVE to be happier with someone else even if it's not who I judge to be a good one. People have tried to set me up on many blind dates but I never agree because with just a few questions I find out: 1. she's a single mother (been there, done that, never again) 2. broke and needs a provider 3. is chunky or unattractive As a successful professional with no kids and 10% bodyfat, why would she be a good fit for me? But then people try to guilt me as if it's my duty to be some sort of white knight savior. Maybe that's just the old fashion attitude some people have or they fear this woman being a burden on them. I dunno but not for me. Anyway, I get to save money by not going to an event that I didn't want to go to. Like I said: it's a win-win for me! Wowowowow. I thought girls had it rough with the CONSTANT PRESSURE to get married (or at least to WANT to get married and feel really, really bad about not wanting to get married so you can prove to the world that you're a marketable commodity) but that's just sick. Reminds me of a favorite episode from Frasier, though. Niles gets drunk at a Halloween party and proposes to Daphne because he thinks (mistakenly) that she's pregnant with Frasier's child, and he tries to couch it by saying that he's doing the honorable thing. Marty, as always, is priceless. Niles: I'm going to do the HONORABLE thing! Marty: You mean divorce your wife to marry the woman who's carrying your brother's child? Niles: (clearly confused, shakes his head) I've made up my mind!
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ameiko
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Post by ameiko on Apr 18, 2011 12:18:54 GMT -5
I know but that is their take. They see a single person and decide that they would just HAVE to be happier with someone else even if it's not who I judge to be a good one. People have tried to set me up on many blind dates but I never agree because with just a few questions I find out: 1. she's a single mother (been there, done that, never again) 2. broke and needs a provider 3. is chunky or unattractive As a successful professional with no kids and 10% bodyfat, why would she be a good fit for me? But then people try to guilt me as if it's my duty to be some sort of white knight savior. Maybe that's just the old fashion attitude some people have or they fear this woman being a burden on them. I dunno but not for me. Anyway, I get to save money by not going to an event that I didn't want to go to. Like I said: it's a win-win for me! Wowowowow. I thought girls had it rough with the CONSTANT PRESSURE to get married (or at least to WANT to get married and feel really, really bad about not wanting to get married so you can prove to the world that you're a marketable commodity) but that's just sick. I suspect that it hits both genders and is probably worse for women because their window of fertility closes faster and earlier compared to men. Also, the older generation probably still has the idea that men gain their satisifaction from work and women from being a mother and wife. Most honestly want what they think will make those young singles happy but the world has changed.
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suziq38
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Post by suziq38 on Apr 18, 2011 22:23:49 GMT -5
I spend anywhere fro $100.00-$150.00 for a wedding gift from DH and me.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 19, 2011 5:45:28 GMT -5
My son is going to be 28 and lives in a city of young people and even he says "pickings are starting to be slim" if you don't want someone with kids already.
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