Aging, losing income and deteriorating houses

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I say please God let me drop dead on the floor from a heart attack and never get back up.

Or go in my sleep.

I don't ever want to be like my grandmothers or great uncle. But what happens if I degrade to where I can't help it?

Nope want to go out before my kids have to figure out where to stick my still living body. Maybe assisted suicide will be more acceptable by then.

I don't want my kids in my dad's position and I don't want my grandkids in my position of being aware they could end up not only taking care of their parents but me too.

[pulmonarymd]

We were in the same position with my f-I-l. He refused to accept reality despite falling 8 times in 6 months. Wasn’t able to get upstairs after one of them, where the only showers were. Refused to consider buying the one floor condo across the way before this started. Expected my wife to quit work to care for him. Fired the help she arranged for him. Final straw was when she fell off the step getting into the house when the help he did have opened the door. Broke her thumb and needed surgery. She was bringing in groceries because he refused to pay to have them delivered or to have the help shop.

People with resources need to use them for their care. To finance the care needs for the elderly will require additional taxes. Who think this will happen in the current environment?

[weltschmerz]

We have programs like this.


showmethegreen.ca/financial-assistance/canadian-seniors-homeowner-grants-2018/

[Tiny]

As far as the house, the city can step in for code enforcement. Doesn't seem to do much until the house is extremely damaged.

TBH: I don't think the City (or government) can enforce much on homeowners.

Generally, all the City can do is write "notices" - like a blight notice and fine homeowners for the exterior of their homes. That's pretty much all that can be done - until the property goes up for sale.   Well, in my suburb at least. The "Code Enforcement" usually comes into play when their deteriorated or plain old just out of date house goes up for sale.

During the time I was Vulture-ing and waiting for the "right" fixer - I looked at close to 40 houses (I was also getting a lesson in local codes, how to calculate the "fix up costs", what to look for, etc from a sibling who did rehabs back in the day).

Before I'd bid on a fixer that looked promising - I would ask about any outstanding fees or fines that the City had "levied" on the property - some of the fines/fees were engraved in stone and some the City would "waive" if I as the buyer agreed to fix the problems (and if I didn't I'd be on the hook for the old fines/fees as well as any new ones). All of the houses I looked at had code violations up the wazhoo - mostly just because of outdated stuff - fuses instead of breakers or exposed flexible conduit or upgrades that were just wrong (a fire hazard or dangerous) or the garage needed to be torn down. If we (ok, my sibling) didn't think the City would compromise on the fees/fines OR if fixing a particular violation was too expensive I wouldn't bother putting in a bid (the house was more than I wanted to take on).

Hopefully, that last paragraph is an example of a City that IS invasive and IS getting it's nose into the sale of houses in order to force either the seller or the buyer to bring the house up to code OR to repair/replace/upgrade a house as part of the sale transaction.

I took on nearly 10K of repairs and bringing up to code issues when I bought my house. The City WANTED me to put the fix up money into a special escrow account and then the city would "give me back" my money as I had the fix ups done but I got that waived with a signed "agreement" that gave me 3 months to get the work done (you can fight City Hall - if you have friends in High Places.) I had all the permits, work done, and all the City Inspections done in 3 months. And I didn't have to bribe anyone... all the work was legitimate and up to code. I just really didn't want to let the City hold money I needed while the fix ups were happening.

So, yes, local governments (if they have the people power and money ) do have their hands in making sure housing doesn't deteriorate into uninhabitable houses. No one likes it. My story about the 10K and the repairs and having to go above and beyond to make something "code"... make's people recoil in horror. How could the government do that!!! American's are FREE!!!!!! to do whatever the heck they want to stuff they own! It's your god given AND Constitutional right - that if you own something you can do whatever you want to it. No one should be able to tell you what kind of electrical service your house should have! Or that some of your basement windows need be of the "escape" variety. The horror!

But, I think there's alot of push back against this kind of stuff - even though it CAN (and does) help make houses safer and helps to keep up the property values.

FWIW:  the City waived a $2000 in fines and a $5K water bill when I purchased a foreclosed Uninhabitable house in my city.     It's better to get the house back on the tax rolls  and to get a house back in working order than to let 7K in fines/and a water bill stop a sale.    I needed notarized paperwork from the City stating these things would be waived at the closing.    

[Tiny]

I live in a densely populated, regulated area. When I went down the rabbit hole of why don't more house fix ups for seniors or others who need help happen? What I found was it's all about insurance. You can't get a HS class that's teaching plumbing or carpentry or roofing to do the work on someone's home (say repair/replace any rotting wood and re-roof a detached garage, OR install a new water heater*). If someone gets hurt doing the work who covers it? The HS? The homeowner?

(* these would have been DIY projects for my family members before they got old now they are DIY projects for the nieces/nephews).

I would think that getting "volunteers" to do DIY fix ups/repairs might be fraught with insurance or safety issues. Not to mention the homeowner may be asked to let more strangers into their home than if they had hired out the work... (in theory at a business has done background checks and has bonded their employees. "volunteers" generally get a free pass - anyone with any kind of background can "volunteer". )


I think there is a solution for the problem... it's just not a "one and done" kind of solution.  

[Deleted]

My thanks for everyone for their awesome and thought-provoking responses.  I'm going to go back through all the posts and make a list of resources in other communities that were mentioned so I can explore whether any similar programs exist here.  

The irony of people selling their homes is that the $$ they receive from the sale may actually disqualify them for other income-based assistance and housing.

[jerseygirl]

I’m on board of a charity trying to get supportive housing in NJ for deaf and deaf blind senior adults . Been trying for 15 years. Today we toured a vacant huge former dormitory at the NJ school for deaf. We had a developer and construction guy go through it, rough estimate $5 million for renovation. We are hopeful state will give us a long term lease.
Once state agrees to give long term lease, funding by feds and state should be available. We’ve had many donors wanting to help us but first question - where will it be located. We’ve had to say no property yet and response is call us when you have a location
Problem is state has multiple vacant buildings that are just left to deteriorate. Huge stone Victorian former mental hospital was on gorgeous campus . State just left it, county wanted to renovate cost around $25 million. State said no, left it another 15 years then decided to renovate - $125 million and counting with builders knowing costs are excessive but state red tape causes delays and increases costs But it is NJ so I leave it to your imagination

[Deleted]

Warning: long rant ahead, and some of you already know the story…..

So my great grandmother had dementia/Alzheimer’s/whatever. My grandmother made her come live with her, eventually sold great grandmother’s house, and took care of her until she died. My grandmother eventually had the same thing in her 80’s, but she’d already scared her own self with her driving and had willingly given that up, she’d also stopped cooking, and she never got to the point where she was leaving the house and wandering around. By then, my Mom was living with her (my Mom had moved in for her own reasons, my grandmother was still fine when my Mom first moved in) and sometimes my Aunt would bring my grandmother to her house to stay until she insisted on going back home. My Aunt felt like my Mom wasn’t really taking good care of my grandmother (she wasn’t) and wanted my grandmother to just stay with her, but didn’t make her stay when grandmother was adamant that she was ready to go to her own home. Aunt would just wait a few days and go get her again. Rinse and repeat until my grandmother died.

So the precedent was set that in my family, we take care of our elders. So then, here comes my own Mom, with some health issues in her late 60’s, but still in her right mind, trying to force me to take care of her. And even though she’s in her right mind, she didn’t have sense enough to be like Bonny (I think it was) and want to be kind to the people that were trying to help her. “The people” was me. But being in her right mind meant/means she’s crafty, manipulative, demanding, and tries to bully me and my daughter. DD still struggles with telling her grandmother no, even when she’s completely aware that her grandmother is very wrong and being a bully, and even though I keep telling her it’s ok to tell her no. By “very wrong”, I mean things like she would literally take food meant for DD’s children if DD let her, even if it’s the only food DD has.

Someone else here said that seniors should use their resources to take care of their needs, or something like that. My mother insists that’s she doesn’t qualify for Medicaid because of her income. Idk if that’s true or not. She refuses to use any service that will get her to and from her Dr appointments and whatever, because it “costs too much”. She’d prefer I spend my money and time running her around, even if it’s during my working hours. Which could cost me a helluva lot more than those services cost, if I don’t have any leave to use to get paid while not working. She doesn’t care about all that though, as long as things happen the way she wants them to happen.

Her income is not such that she’s rolling in dough, but it’s more than what a lot of people living off SS have. It’s enough that she could’ve been ok living in my Grandmother’s paid for house. BUT, she doesn’t like spending her money on needs. She prefers to spend it shopping and then try to get/demand/manipulate someone else to pay for her needs. She prefers for “someone” to be me, but I don’t cooperate anymore, so anyone will do.

She basically refuses to leave my house and has refused for 2 years now. I have NO idea what to do with her. She’s in her early 70’s now, and I don’t want to be accused of mistreating a senior citizen. She can play the sweet little old lady very well. Even Mister used to think I had to be exaggerating when I would be upset and venting to him. The truth is that she’s mistreating me though. She’s not quite as sharp as she use to be, but she’s nowhere near incompetent. I refuse to move her to where I live now, because living with her before I moved here was a horrible, miserable, soul sucking mess and I’d rather die than live like that again. I actually felt like I was dying then. My soul definitely was, even if my physical body wasn’t YET, so it’s just no bueno for me.

If I legally evict her from my house, she literally has nowhere to go because she sold my Grandmother’s house for a whopping $6k last year. That is not a typo. Her credit is shot, so she can’t get an apartment or move anywhere that’s going to check her credit. So, what do I do? 

I recently said in another thread that I’m fond of “old” people, and I really am.  But some of them just won’t do right. Like my Mom. I’m not going to quit my job and cater to her 24/7, waiting on her hand and foot like she expected me to do when she came to live with me. I’m also not going to go broke supporting her financially while she fucks off all of her money. She’s used up my goodwill trying to manipulate me into taking care of her before she even really needed that from me. It’s wrecked our relationship. And now I honestly do not know what the heck to do.

This isn’t even really relevant to the thread, but reading Drama’s posts about her grandmother sent me on a tangent. My apologies.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I think it's relevant. My grandma and your mom aren't the only ones.

It leaves us stuck in purgatory because they aren't incompetent so we can't forcibly move them but through their actions have caused a situation where they can't be fully independent.

To me that is a gap that seriously needs addressed. If my grandma took care of herself she could have been one of those 120 year olds you see on the news.

But she didn't. Now my parents risk their old age and I'm facing the terrifying prospect of dealing with all four of them. Goodness knows my brother won't step up.

I don't think my grandma should be forcibly locked away in a home to be forgotten but it shouldn't take us waiting to see if one of them sets the house on fire either.

Not sure what the answer is but as people continue to live longer and longer it's a situation that someone smarter than me needs to figure out.

[Opti]

Jun 11, 2021 16:34:07 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I’m on board of a charity trying to get supportive housing in NJ for deaf and deaf blind senior adults . Been trying for 15 years. Today we toured a vacant huge former dormitory at the NJ school for deaf. We had a developer and construction guy go through it, rough estimate $5 million for renovation. We are hopeful state will give us a long term lease.
Once state agrees to give long term lease, funding by feds and state should be available. We’ve had many donors wanting to help us but first question - where will it be located. We’ve had to say no property yet and response is call us when you have a location
Problem is state has multiple vacant buildings that are just left to deteriorate. Huge stone Victorian former mental hospital was on gorgeous campus . State just left it, county wanted to renovate cost around $25 million. State said no, left it another 15 years then decided to renovate - $125 million and counting with builders knowing costs are excessive but state red tape causes delays and increases costs But it is NJ so I leave it to your imagination

Greystone right? Now that its retired, I would love to drive through and see it.

[Opti]

Jun 11, 2021 16:34:07 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I’m on board of a charity trying to get supportive housing in NJ for deaf and deaf blind senior adults . Been trying for 15 years. Today we toured a vacant huge former dormitory at the NJ school for deaf. We had a developer and construction guy go through it, rough estimate $5 million for renovation. We are hopeful state will give us a long term lease.
Once state agrees to give long term lease, funding by feds and state should be available. We’ve had many donors wanting to help us but first question - where will it be located. We’ve had to say no property yet and response is call us when you have a location
Problem is state has multiple vacant buildings that are just left to deteriorate. Huge stone Victorian former mental hospital was on gorgeous campus . State just left it, county wanted to renovate cost around $25 million. State said no, left it another 15 years then decided to renovate - $125 million and counting with builders knowing costs are excessive but state red tape causes delays and increases costs But it is NJ so I leave it to your imagination

Its very frustrating on the seeker side too. Since demand is so high, and supply is so low one has to be fast and have good timing to even have a shot. I just missed being on a list by a few days because I've gotten behind on reading the dropped off free papers that come with the flyers and coupon inserts. One new one just opened that hasn't been built yet. Not actual dates, but close. Signup opened on May 25th, by June 1st they chose to shutdown any and all wait lists for the property. Too much demand. 

I'm trying to tell myself this is not a loss, as I've run to the library to get on wait lists I was never picked for, so I know its a crap shoot even if you sign up during the short window.

[Deleted]

Jun 11, 2021 17:04:56 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I think it's relevant. My grandma and your mom aren't the only ones.

It leaves us stuck in purgatory because they aren't incompetent so we can't forcibly move them but through their actions have caused a situation where they can't be fully independent.

To me that is a gap that seriously needs addressed. If my grandma took care of herself she could have been one of those 120 year olds you see on the news.

But she didn't. Now my parents risk their old age and I'm facing the terrifying prospect of dealing with all four of them. Goodness knows my brother won't step up.

I don't think my grandma should be forcibly locked away in a home to be forgotten but it shouldn't take us waiting to see if one of them sets the house on fire either.

Not sure what the answer is but as people continue to live longer and longer it's a situation that someone smarter than me needs to figure out.

The “funny” thing (not really) is that if it was my grandmother, I would have turned my life upside down to do for her if she’d ever needed me to. She never demanded anything of me besides being a good person, taking education seriously, and voting. She never wanted to need or have to depend on us. One Sunday morning she cried real tears because she couldn’t button her blouse and needed help getting dressed to go to church.

My Mom is the exact opposite, she wants to be taken care of. My grandmother use to do it, but we’ll, she died. I am not my grandmother.

One of my Mom’s friends who is also a member of our church, tried to help my Mom find somewhere to move to. She told me herself last year, that after my Mom didn’t follow up on any of the leads she gave her and shot down some of her ideas, she realized that my Mom didn’t want to lose control of her money so she could continue to do everything but take care of herself with it. And that friend bowed out.

You know it’s bad when the Pastor of the church finally stops trying to help you because you refuse to try to help yourself. But that’s exactly what happened, he talked to me about it before he actually did it. And I can’t blame him. He’s a good man, and has been our Pastor for over 30 years, so I know who he is and that he does try to serve and help his congregation and the people in the community where our church is. There are other people he can help, that really ARE trying to help themselves, so I understand and actually agree with him focusing on what he can do to help those kind of people vs people like my Mom.

My daughter does try to help with my Mom, and she’s made some comments about having to also maybe help me at some point. 

One thing she says that’s funny, when she gets exasperated with my Mom is “MY Momma would NEVER”!!! It’s always funny the way she says it, but it’s sad too, because it’s true. The shit my Mom does, I would never do to my child or grandchild. Not if I’m in my right mind, which my Mom still is.

All I’d want my children to have to do is check on me and maybe hire whoever I might need hired for whatever, if I have trouble doing it on my own. I hope and plan to have my own money to pay for what I need, whether it’s taking care of a house or helping me personally. I wouldn’t want my children to have to uproot their lives to try to take care of me or be stressed out trying to figure out how to pay for whatever I might need. But trying to make that happen for me and for them, is why I can’t afford to play my Mom’s games now. I’m trying to take care of my 70yo self and beyond, right now. I can’t do that and pay for my Mom’s irresponsibility at the same time. I make decent money, but not enough that I got it like that.

[Artemis Windsong]

Jun 10, 2021 18:34:03 GMT -5 @donethat said:

I originally posted this on another thread, but I think a separate thread is going to work best.  As stated in my original post, this is NOT POLITICAL, but an attempt to find real-time solutions to a problem.  

Going back to the discussion of folks who live on reduced incomes as they age and lose a spouse, I've witnessed a lot of problems related to this in my neighborhood. People age and houses do too, so what's the solution for 80+ year old plus neighbors with 60+ year old houses who can't afford to maintain them to even a minimum standard? No money, no family. I get that they want to live in their homes, I get that they don't have $$ for other places. But, I also get that their neighbors are living with overgrown, dilapidated, rat infested structures dragging down their property values.



No one wants to report someone to senior protective services, and there are few if any places allowing pets which are very often the only companionship these folks have.



I'm not trying to start a fight or a political debate! But this situation is a reality now; we don't all have kids and grandkids to take care of stuff. We don't have family but we have $$ and the cognitive ability to recognize when it's time to find another way to live. A lot of folks aren't that lucky.

Your City Guide might have clues.

One retirement community has Caring Angels that help with whatever needs done.  Groceries, sit with someone for medical recovery, etc.

Our local United Way has a day of caring where teams go to homes and do what needs to be done.

One organization is Community Action.  I heard they aren't just handing out food packets.

Some churches might help out.  You'd just need to ask around.

Maybe boys scouts or girl scouts to get badges.

[Opti]

Jun 11, 2021 17:21:27 GMT -5 Opti said:

Jun 11, 2021 16:34:07 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I’m on board of a charity trying to get supportive housing in NJ for deaf and deaf blind senior adults . Been trying for 15 years. Today we toured a vacant huge former dormitory at the NJ school for deaf. We had a developer and construction guy go through it, rough estimate $5 million for renovation. We are hopeful state will give us a long term lease.
Once state agrees to give long term lease, funding by feds and state should be available. We’ve had many donors wanting to help us but first question - where will it be located. We’ve had to say no property yet and response is call us when you have a location
Problem is state has multiple vacant buildings that are just left to deteriorate. Huge stone Victorian former mental hospital was on gorgeous campus . State just left it, county wanted to renovate cost around $25 million. State said no, left it another 15 years then decided to renovate - $125 million and counting with builders knowing costs are excessive but state red tape causes delays and increases costs But it is NJ so I leave it to your imagination

Its very frustrating on the seeker side too. Since demand is so high, and supply is so low one has to be fast and have good timing to even have a shot. I just missed being on a list by a few days because I've gotten behind on reading the dropped off free papers that come with the flyers and coupon inserts. One new one just opened that hasn't been built yet. Not actual dates, but close. Signup opened on May 25th, by June 1st they chose to shutdown any and all wait lists for the property. Too much demand. 

I'm trying to tell myself this is not a loss, as I've run to the library to get on wait lists I was never picked for, so I know its a crap shoot even if you sign up during the short window.

Update - I just checked the cheaper complex in the area that I did not choose because it was smaller and louder. The cheapest 1 bedroom is about $10/mo more than my new rent starting next month. I really need to make better income somehow or finally land affordable housing so I can pay a more realistic percentage of my income for rent.

Holy <insert words here>!  I figured prices had rolled up as the did an exterior face lift on most of the buildings, but I did not expect that. But I probably should have. Down the street is a very nice complex, the $2K to $3K plus kind of place and maybe they thought it was time to level up. 

[Bonny]

Jun 11, 2021 16:37:52 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Warning: long rant ahead, and some of you already know the story…..

So my great grandmother had dementia/Alzheimer’s/whatever. My grandmother made her come live with her, eventually sold great grandmother’s house, and took care of her until she died. My grandmother eventually had the same thing in her 80’s, but she’d already scared her own self with her driving and had willingly given that up, she’d also stopped cooking, and she never got to the point where she was leaving the house and wandering around. By then, my Mom was living with her (my Mom had moved in for her own reasons, my grandmother was still fine when my Mom first moved in) and sometimes my Aunt would bring my grandmother to her house to stay until she insisted on going back home. My Aunt felt like my Mom wasn’t really taking good care of my grandmother (she wasn’t) and wanted my grandmother to just stay with her, but didn’t make her stay when grandmother was adamant that she was ready to go to her own home. Aunt would just wait a few days and go get her again. Rinse and repeat until my grandmother died.

So the precedent was set that in my family, we take care of our elders. So then, here comes my own Mom, with some health issues in her late 60’s, but still in her right mind, trying to force me to take care of her. And even though she’s in her right mind, she didn’t have sense enough to be like Bonny (I think it was) and want to be kind to the people that were trying to help her. “The people” was me. But being in her right mind meant/means she’s crafty, manipulative, demanding, and tries to bully me and my daughter. DD still struggles with telling her grandmother no, even when she’s completely aware that her grandmother is very wrong and being a bully, and even though I keep telling her it’s ok to tell her no. By “very wrong”, I mean things like she would literally take food meant for DD’s children if DD let her, even if it’s the only food DD has.

Someone else here said that seniors should use their resources to take care of their needs, or something like that. My mother insists that’s she doesn’t qualify for Medicaid because of her income. Idk if that’s true or not. She refuses to use any service that will get her to and from her Dr appointments and whatever, because it “costs too much”. She’d prefer I spend my money and time running her around, even if it’s during my working hours. Which could cost me a helluva lot more than those services cost, if I don’t have any leave to use to get paid while not working. She doesn’t care about all that though, as long as things happen the way she wants them to happen.

Her income is not such that she’s rolling in dough, but it’s more than what a lot of people living off SS have. It’s enough that she could’ve been ok living in my Grandmother’s paid for house. BUT, she doesn’t like spending her money on needs. She prefers to spend it shopping and then try to get/demand/manipulate someone else to pay for her needs. She prefers for “someone” to be me, but I don’t cooperate anymore, so anyone will do.

She basically refuses to leave my house and has refused for 2 years now. I have NO idea what to do with her. She’s in her early 70’s now, and I don’t want to be accused of mistreating a senior citizen. She can play the sweet little old lady very well. Even Mister used to think I had to be exaggerating when I would be upset and venting to him. The truth is that she’s mistreating me though. She’s not quite as sharp as she use to be, but she’s nowhere near incompetent. I refuse to move her to where I live now, because living with her before I moved here was a horrible, miserable, soul sucking mess and I’d rather die than live like that again. I actually felt like I was dying then. My soul definitely was, even if my physical body wasn’t YET, so it’s just no bueno for me.

If I legally evict her from my house, she literally has nowhere to go because she sold my Grandmother’s house for a whopping $6k last year. That is not a typo. Her credit is shot, so she can’t get an apartment or move anywhere that’s going to check her credit. So, what do I do? 

I recently said in another thread that I’m fond of “old” people, and I really am.  But some of them just won’t do right. Like my Mom. I’m not going to quit my job and cater to her 24/7, waiting on her hand and foot like she expected me to do when she came to live with me. I’m also not going to go broke supporting her financially while she fucks off all of her money. She’s used up my goodwill trying to manipulate me into taking care of her before she even really needed that from me. It’s wrecked our relationship. And now I honestly do not know what the heck to do.

This isn’t even really relevant to the thread, but reading Drama’s posts about her grandmother sent me on a tangent. My apologies.

[tractor]

These posts make me not want to face the future. My father lives with us (addition 20-ft off main house). He’s 79 and has been acting stranger and stranger. He has no $$, never saved for retirement. Lately has been running up credit cards like crazy, buying things he doesn’t need. Last week he brought home a trailer, yesterday he packed it full with all his tools and everything he had stored in my garage.

Told my brothers it was because I wouldn’t let him use them (I’m gone most days and the garage is unlocked), he can access them anytime. He’s now starting to buy stuff off Craigslist and trying to hide it in his place. He’s well on his way to bankruptcy, but refuses help. I hate to say this, but I’m beginning to look forward to his passing, just to relieve some of the added financial burden and stress in my life.

[finnime]

I'm sorry, tractor. It sounds like your dad might benefit from a medical checkup. Sudden behavior changes are a symptom of some illnesses.

[azucena]

Years ago, my mom and I both worked at a convent that housed retired nuns.  I worked in food service and she was in housekeeping.  We both noticed that sometimes the nice nuns would go from serene to bat-shit seemingly overnight.  One of the nurses clued us in that the majority of the time it meant they had a UTI.  Something about the toxins not being cleansed in the kidney has a huge effect on senior citizens.

Pink - you're stuck but at least know that you're in the right to try to untangle yourself if you can.  Your daughter and the pastor whom you trust are both seeing the same patterns.

DH and I will go above and beyond to help my mother.  We'll make sure his mother isn't homeless.  He's said that for years even before they entered their 60s.  God willing they both live long healthy lives.

[giramomma]

Jun 16, 2021 6:39:39 GMT -5 tractor said:

These posts make me not want to face the future.

Here's the thing. We're forced to face the future. Wanting have nothing to do with it.

Trust me. I get it. The situation I have is not the one I wanted.

The only thing we can do is prepare as best as we can and try to brace ourselves for the future.

[Opti]

Jun 16, 2021 18:22:27 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Jun 16, 2021 6:39:39 GMT -5 tractor said:

These posts make me not want to face the future.

Here's the thing. We're forced to face the future. Wanting have nothing to do with it.

Trust me. I get it. The situation I have is not the one I wanted.

The only thing we can do is prepare as best as we can and try to brace ourselves for the future.

Agreed. The future comes whether you want it or not. You can't hide forever, or in my case, as long as you'd prefer.