Abstinence

[billisonboard]

Apr 9, 2021 3:13:19 GMT -5 Opti said:

Apr 8, 2021 14:49:31 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Metaphorical representation of what one can choose to "taste" in regards to human sexual experiences.

Sad thing is it might not be as good as steak and potatoes. It might be more like cold cereal for dinner. 

I love a good steak and potato dinner. Broccoli is my favorite side dish to have with it. And sometimes for dinner I am cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. And then other times, ... Granted there have been the meals that were not satisfying after a few bites or after clearing the plate. There have even been ones I have left untouched because they didn't look appealing to me and menu items unordered because they just didn't sound like something I would like. Oh but the variety of what I have tasted ...

[Opti]

Apr 9, 2021 8:24:37 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Apr 9, 2021 3:13:19 GMT -5 Opti said:

Sad thing is it might not be as good as steak and potatoes. It might be more like cold cereal for dinner. 

I love a good steak and potato dinner. Broccoli is my favorite side dish to have with it. And sometimes for dinner I am cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. And then other times, ... Granted there have been the meals that were not satisfying after a few bites or after clearing the plate. There have even been ones I have left untouched because they didn't look appealing to me and menu items unordered because they just didn't sound like something I would like. Oh but the variety of what I have tasted ...

My point was you don't know what you will get. Some people are a mini buffet on their own. Others might be like eating things you don't like or don't satisfy. 

[billisonboard]

Apr 9, 2021 8:37:48 GMT -5 Opti said:

Apr 9, 2021 8:24:37 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

I love a good steak and potato dinner. Broccoli is my favorite side dish to have with it. And sometimes for dinner I am cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. And then other times, ... Granted there have been the meals that were not satisfying after a few bites or after clearing the plate. There have even been ones I have left untouched because they didn't look appealing to me and menu items unordered because they just didn't sound like something I would like. Oh but the variety of what I have tasted ...

My point was you don't know what you will get. Some people are a mini buffet on their own. Others might be like eating things you don't like or don't satisfy. 

But how do we know without sampling? What I question is parents establishing a narrow path for a young person's sexual experiences before that human being has an opportunity to develop preferences for themselves. They place before them a plate with a meal and tell them that is what they must eat instead of presenting them a smorgasbord and allowing them to choose. Note: it is no more appropriate for parents to fill the young person's plate at the buffet either. But age appropriate guidance and advice is good.

[Cookies Galore]

My husband's ex is a sex educator and she runs a purity culture dropout program. It's very popular and extremely necessary work. So many people have had shame of their bodies and sexuality hoisted upon them from a young age and carry that shame well into adulthood. I'm proud to know people doing the work of helping people out of purity culture.

[billisonboard]

Apr 9, 2021 9:36:20 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

My husband's ex is a sex educator and she runs a purity culture dropout program. It's very popular and extremely necessary work. So many people have had shame of their bodies and sexuality hoisted upon them from a young age and carry that shame well into adulthood. I'm proud to know people doing the work of helping people out of purity culture.

"purity culture dropout program" - that strikes me as beautiful yet sad wording.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We have a poster here who was raised in purity culture.  Reading her posts I think people have an over simplistic view of what "purity culture" means.  It's not just encouraging people to save themselves for marriage.  It's a lot darker than that.

[thyme4change]

Apr 8, 2021 10:37:48 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I'm so sick of Christians believing they have a exclusive on good marriages and good families. My husband and I have been married nearly 25 years, and my kids get along. Does that prove that raising atheists is successful? Christians get divorced at nearly the same rate as non-Christians - so it isn’t magic.


I will also say that they go out of their way to emphasize their "weirdness" and really play into that victim narrative. Neither my sister nor my daughter dated before college. My sister thought all the boys she knew were dumb (her words), and my daughter has only been interested in one or two guys, but nothing has come of it, and she shrugged it off. She has had other boys approach her, but she wasn't interested. I know other people who didn't really date in high school either - maybe not for lack of desire, just lack of desirability. It isn’t something any of them got bullied for. No one told them they were wrong for not dating. It only gets weird when you make such a big deal out of it at 13 years old.

[weltschmerz]

Very creepy culture. I missed the part in the bible where it said fathers are supposed to be their daughter's boyfriends. I also hate the imbalanced lying of it all. Where's Mom talking about how she's her son's girlfriend and all the non sexual cuddling they do until he finds the one and gets married.


I never even heard of a purity ball in Canada. There was a "fad" of abstinence when DS was in high school. kids were wearing purity rings but were having anal sex, so technically, they were still virgins.

Virginity is way over-rated.
Then there's this....

Jodi Heckert Pledged to Protect His Daughter’s Virginity, Now in Prison For Child Molestation

For those of us who were once a part of the patriarchy movement, David Magnusson’s photographs are reminders of the many girls who are smothered by their God-fearing, hymen-worshiping “protective” fathers. Heckert, pictured above with his 13-year-old daughter, is one such father. In August of 2015, Heckert was found guilty of attempted child molestation and sentenced to ten years in prison.



brucegerencser.net/2017/06/jodi-heckert-pledged-to-protect-his-daughters-virginity-now-in-prison-for-child-molestation/

[NoNamePerson]

And to think I considered becoming a high class call girl after my divorce.  

[Deleted]

Apr 9, 2021 9:36:20 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

My husband's ex is a sex educator and she runs a purity culture dropout program. It's very popular and extremely necessary work. So many people have had shame of their bodies and sexuality hoisted upon them from a young age and carry that shame well into adulthood. I'm proud to know people doing the work of helping people out of purity culture.

And what's really sad is that if you preach purity and abstinence there will be no mention of birth control.  So some of the ones who depart from the purity and abstinence teaching are ignorant about how to prevent pregnancy.  I was lucky- I was a voracious reader.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 9, 2021 11:37:03 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Apr 8, 2021 10:37:48 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I'm so sick of Christians believing they have a exclusive on good marriages and good families. My husband and I have been married nearly 25 years, and my kids get along. Does that prove that raising atheists is successful? Christians get divorced at nearly the same rate as non-Christians - so it isn’t magic.


I will also say that they go out of their way to emphasize their "weirdness" and really play into that victim narrative. Neither my sister nor my daughter dated before college. My sister thought all the boys she knew were dumb (her words), and my daughter has only been interested in one or two guys, but nothing has come of it, and she shrugged it off. She has had other boys approach her, but she wasn't interested. I know other people who didn't really date in high school either - maybe not for lack of desire, just lack of desirability. It isn’t something any of them got bullied for. No one told them they were wrong for not dating. It only gets weird when you make such a big deal out of it at 13 years old.

Divorce Statistics by Religion

[imawino]

Apr 9, 2021 12:14:09 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Very creepy culture. I missed the part in the bible where it said fathers are supposed to be their daughter's boyfriends. I also hate the imbalanced lying of it all. Where's Mom talking about how she's her son's girlfriend and all the non sexual cuddling they do until he finds the one and gets married.


I never even heard of a purity ball in Canada. There was a "fad" of abstinence when DS was in high school. kids were wearing purity rings but were having anal sex, so technically, they were still virgins.

Virginity is way over-rated.
Then there's this....

Jodi Heckert Pledged to Protect His Daughter’s Virginity, Now in Prison For Child Molestation

For those of us who were once a part of the patriarchy movement, David Magnusson’s photographs are reminders of the many girls who are smothered by their God-fearing, hymen-worshiping “protective” fathers. Heckert, pictured above with his 13-year-old daughter, is one such father. In August of 2015, Heckert was found guilty of attempted child molestation and sentenced to ten years in prison.



brucegerencser.net/2017/06/jodi-heckert-pledged-to-protect-his-daughters-virginity-now-in-prison-for-child-molestation/

Well, the poophole IS the loophole!




sorry.  I couldn't resist!

[happyhoix]

Apr 9, 2021 9:52:56 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We have a poster here who was raised in purity culture.  Reading her posts I think people have an over simplistic view of what "purity culture" means.  It's not just encouraging people to save themselves for marriage.  It's a lot darker than that.

It goes along with the idea of women being subservient to their fathers and then husbands because God talks directly to men as heads of the household; God doesn’t talk to women, which is why women have to obey their spouses.

I wouldn’t last in that sect for more than half a day, if that.

[thyme4change]

Apr 9, 2021 22:03:54 GMT -5 imawino said:

Apr 9, 2021 12:14:09 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Very creepy culture. I missed the part in the bible where it said fathers are supposed to be their daughter's boyfriends. I also hate the imbalanced lying of it all. Where's Mom talking about how she's her son's girlfriend and all the non sexual cuddling they do until he finds the one and gets married.


I never even heard of a purity ball in Canada. There was a "fad" of abstinence when DS was in high school. kids were wearing purity rings but were having anal sex, so technically, they were still virgins.

Virginity is way over-rated.
Then there's this....

Jodi Heckert Pledged to Protect His Daughter’s Virginity, Now in Prison For Child Molestation

For those of us who were once a part of the patriarchy movement, David Magnusson’s photographs are reminders of the many girls who are smothered by their God-fearing, hymen-worshiping “protective” fathers. Heckert, pictured above with his 13-year-old daughter, is one such father. In August of 2015, Heckert was found guilty of attempted child molestation and sentenced to ten years in prison.



brucegerencser.net/2017/06/jodi-heckert-pledged-to-protect-his-daughters-virginity-now-in-prison-for-child-molestation/

Well, the poophole IS the loophole!




sorry.  I couldn't resist!

🤣🤣🤣

[NoNamePerson]

Apr 9, 2021 16:13:26 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Apr 9, 2021 9:36:20 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

My husband's ex is a sex educator and she runs a purity culture dropout program. It's very popular and extremely necessary work. So many people have had shame of their bodies and sexuality hoisted upon them from a young age and carry that shame well into adulthood. I'm proud to know people doing the work of helping people out of purity culture.

And what's really sad is that if you preach purity and abstinence there will be no mention of birth control.  So some of the ones who depart from the purity and abstinence teaching are ignorant about how to prevent pregnancy.  I was lucky- I was a voracious reader.

I was lucky that “the Pill” came out when I was in high school. My best friend’s sister was nurse who worked for a doctor who said he would rather prescribe BC pills than have us getting back room abortions. 

[NastyWoman]

Apr 8, 2021 11:19:48 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

My religious friends growing up knew absolutely nothing about sex. It was terrifying. U

I was raised catholic, but mom was 100% pro birth control and never hesitated to disagree with the church teachings.

 I too was raised catholic and a full generation before you were. But my mom was all for BC as well. And not only that, we were raised to know that if we ever found ourselves pregnant we could always come home. She and dad would help us with raising that baby. Not a single teen mom resulted from that and they had 5 daughters so llenty of possibilities. 

They just accepted that your kids ending up having sex at some point was a fact of life and they wanted us to be happy and secure in our life.

The only thing that was not open for discussion was abortion. She just could not see that at all. As far as I know none of us had to resort to that either. 

[alabamagal]

Apr 9, 2021 11:37:03 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Apr 8, 2021 10:37:48 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I'm so sick of Christians believing they have a exclusive on good marriages and good families. My husband and I have been married nearly 25 years, and my kids get along. Does that prove that raising atheists is successful? Christians get divorced at nearly the same rate as non-Christians - so it isn’t magic.


I will also say that they go out of their way to emphasize their "weirdness" and really play into that victim narrative. Neither my sister nor my daughter dated before college. My sister thought all the boys she knew were dumb (her words), and my daughter has only been interested in one or two guys, but nothing has come of it, and she shrugged it off. She has had other boys approach her, but she wasn't interested. I know other people who didn't really date in high school either - maybe not for lack of desire, just lack of desirability. It isn’t something any of them got bullied for. No one told them they were wrong for not dating. It only gets weird when you make such a big deal out of it at 13 years old.

None of my 3 kids dated in high school. It wasn’t something we prohibited (not that I think you really can). They went to a very small, conservative baptist school in a small South Georgia city (40 kids per class). The school was definitely no-sex before marriage. Violations of school rules could result in expulsion, including girls who were pregnant or boys who got girls pregnant (happened to a friends son). I know one girl got pregnant late senior year, they actually let her finish with at home studies and graduate, but not part of graduation ceremony. We were not part of the church, and always made it clear that we did not agree with a lot of the values of the church, but we thought it was best option for their education.

So with being outsiders at school and small insular group, none of my kids ever had a BF or GF. ODS never really even socialized with anyone. YDS was more social and had some a girl fan club, but never really dated any. All 3 kids immediately got into a serious relationship at the start of college. I think it worked out good for all of them to wait until they were older to start dating. 2 are now married, and youngest is in a serious 4 year relationship (they are buying a house together this month). The only thing I think is a bit odd is ODS, he met his spouse in college, she was the first and only girl he ever dated. My DIL is wonderful, and they are so great together, it’s just odd to me that he married his first GF.