Life as you knew it has ceased to exist.

[finnime]

Twenty or 30 years ago I saw a cartoon. In it a man with bed hair was sitting up in bed in his pajamas, his eyes wide. He was watching a television. On the tv was an angel, a bald one with glasses, intoning, "Good morning. While you were sleeping the world as you knew it has ceased to exist."

That is what has happened again to me and my family. Recent labs show my DH has moved from stage 4 CKD to stage 5. He will have to start dialysis or get a transplant, which at 71 he's unlikely to receive unless he has a donor. I'll donate if I can. He doesn't know his blood type.

We had grand plans for the next year, including getting this brick colonial style house in shape and selling within a year, then moving to Massachusetts. I don't know any longer what is possible or realistic. We were also planning on taking some of the house sale proceeds for a long trip to Europe. DH won't be able to do much if he's on dialysis.

I'm 61. I had thought we'd have time, 15 or 20 years. We're suddenly playing a whole new game. Everything I had put off I regret.

[saveinla]

Hugs finnime

[minnesotapaintlady]

Really sorry to hear this finnime. 

As a side note, my company manufacturers medical devices and one of the products we make are in-home dialysis machines which have really changed the quality of life of those with kidney failure.  Patients hook themselves up at night while sleeping and go about their day as normal.  I listened to a talk given by a woman that uses one of these once and she lives a very active life.  We're talking way more active than most "healthy" people...like running marathons, demanding career, travel, etc. 

I don't know if it would be a viable option for your husband or not, but just wanted to let you know it was out there.

www.quantadt.com/

[giramomma]

Hugs, lots and lots of hugs.

ETA: I'm glad MPL posted. Because now I can say: you don't know what technology advances, etc will be made available that could make a difference too.

Also, when I was with mom, I heard a news story about a local woman who was not a match for her MIL, but did something like this program to help her MIL get a kidney. unos.org/transplant/kidney-paired-donation/. This woman's MIL was not 50, KWIM?

I know it's easy to leap to all the things we regret doing, and what we think our life could be in the future. But, remember. We just don't know, either.

[finnime]

Apr 7, 2021 7:47:39 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Really sorry to hear this finnime . 

As a side note, my company manufacturers medical devices and one of the products we make are in-home dialysis machines which have really changed the quality of life of those with kidney failure.  Patients hook themselves up at night while sleeping and go about their day as normal.  I listened to a talk given by a woman that uses one of these once and she lives a very active life.  We're talking way more active than most "healthy" people...like running marathons, demanding career, travel, etc. 

I don't know if it would be a viable option for your husband or not, but just wanted to let you know it was out there.

www.quantadt.com/

I really appreciate this. I'm going to check with DH's nephrologist. It would make such a difference. Thank you!

[buystoys]

Hugs finnime.  I wish I could do more, but I'm sending you tons of hugs and prayers.

[raeoflyte]

Hugs finnime

[Anne_in_VA]

Hugs finnime.  I’m so sorry your husband has gotten worse. 

[TheOtherMe]

Apr 7, 2021 7:47:39 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Really sorry to hear this finnime . 

As a side note, my company manufacturers medical devices and one of the products we make are in-home dialysis machines which have really changed the quality of life of those with kidney failure.  Patients hook themselves up at night while sleeping and go about their day as normal.  I listened to a talk given by a woman that uses one of these once and she lives a very active life.  We're talking way more active than most "healthy" people...like running marathons, demanding career, travel, etc. 

I don't know if it would be a viable option for your husband or not, but just wanted to let you know it was out there.

www.quantadt.com/

This is what a friend of mine is using.  He's trying to get strong enough to be considered for a transplant.  He has lost both legs to diabetes and the transplant center said he has to be able to walk on the two prosthetics with only a cane before he can be considered.  He has been using a walker and is working very hard to get to his goal line.

[TheOtherMe]

finnime  

[bean29]

So sorry to hear this.  Hopefully advances in technology will mean your DH has a long and healthy life ahead of him.

[taz157]

Apr 7, 2021 7:57:24 GMT -5 buystoys said:

Hugs finnime.  I wish I could do more, but I'm sending you tons of hugs and prayers.

Ditto. ((((Hugs))))

[Bonny]

[haapai]

[NoNamePerson]

[Happy prose]

Sorry to hear finnime. You and your husband will be in my prayers. 

[jerseygirl]

So sorry
Hoping you both will find a way to enjoy life and limit restrictions

[nidena]

And please allow yourself to feel every emotion that is coming through.  Don't suppress 'em.  Cry, scream, laugh, rage, let them roll.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I’m sorry.  This has to be a rough pill to swallow with your plans.  

[Artemis Windsong]

Blessings to you two going forward.

[Lizard Queen]

So sorry, finnime. <<<Hugs>>>
My mom had stage 4, then 5. Went back to 4 on her own. She was already upper 80's, so didn't want dialysis.

[Opti]

Apr 7, 2021 16:07:31 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

So sorry, finnime. <<<Hugs>>>
My mom had stage 4, then 5. Went back to 4 on her own. She was already upper 80's, so didn't want dialysis.

Sorry to hear that. The above is great news. I hope all things possible come to you and him to improve his health.

[finnime]

Apr 7, 2021 16:07:31 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

So sorry, finnime. <<<Hugs>>>
My mom had stage 4, then 5. Went back to 4 on her own. She was already upper 80's, so didn't want dialysis.

DH is right now opposed to dialysis. I'm encouraged to hear your mother improved. I don't know what to think or even hope for. He went from a 17 GFR to a 10.

[giramomma]

Apr 7, 2021 16:36:04 GMT -5 finnime said:

Apr 7, 2021 16:07:31 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

So sorry, finnime. <<<Hugs>>>
My mom had stage 4, then 5. Went back to 4 on her own. She was already upper 80's, so didn't want dialysis.

DH is right now opposed to dialysis. I'm encouraged to hear your mother improved. I don't know what to think or even hope for. He went from a 17 GFR to a 10.

I just have more hugs..

[Lizard Queen]

Apr 7, 2021 16:36:04 GMT -5 finnime said:

Apr 7, 2021 16:07:31 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

So sorry, finnime. <<<Hugs>>>
My mom had stage 4, then 5. Went back to 4 on her own. She was already upper 80's, so didn't want dialysis.

DH is right now opposed to dialysis. I'm encouraged to hear your mother improved. I don't know what to think or even hope for. He went from a 17 GFR to a 10.

I don't know either. My understanding is dialysis is hard, and my mom was very old. She was also very tiny, which I think helped her continue on with less function of her kidneys and her heart.

[Deleted]

I don't have words, but I am sending hugs.  I hope you will continue to reach out to us here, knowing we are always listening and caring.  

[flamingo]

Hugs. I’m so sorry your family is going through this. 

[Rukh O'Rorke]

so sorry to hear and sending him good thoughts.

[sesfw]

[susana1954]

You are so right that we cannot take the future for granted.

You are both in my thoughts and prayers.