Perhaps Never Again

[billisonboard]

What in your professional and/or personal life has this pandemic made unlikely that you will never do again? Is it significant or just annoying? How are you dealing with it?

Over the past thirty years I have developed expertise in what I call "metaphor play". I engage groups of people in doing a physical activity and then lead a discussion to find meaning from what is experienced in the play and take it to a wider part of their lives. Almost all of what I do is the antithesis of social distancing. Obviously I am not able at this time to lead the activities that I normally lead. And at my age (63), I am not sure that I will ever be able to do so again. I take comfort in what I have done in the past but it is difficult to deal with the reality I might not have new experiences.

[pulmonarymd]

Jul 13, 2020 14:18:34 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

What in your professional and/or personal life has this pandemic made unlikely that you will never do again? Is it significant or just annoying? How are you dealing with it?

Over the past thirty years I have developed expertise in what I call "metaphor play". I engage groups of people in doing a physical activity and then lead a discussion to find meaning from what is experienced in the play and take it to a wider part of their lives. Almost all of what I do is the antithesis of social distancing. Obviously I am not able at this time to lead the activities that I normally lead. And at my age (63), I am not sure that I will ever be able to do so again. I take comfort in what I have done in the past but it is difficult to deal with the reality I might not have new experiences.

I don't think life will be that different in the ways you are suggesting in the medium term. Work from home will be more common, the increase in density some were pushing for in communities will likely decrease, big cities may not grow much, as people will be able to live where they chose with remote work.  think medicine will change. The just in time approach is a complete failure in a pandemic world, so hopefully, we will recognize it and allow more "fat" in the system. But human interaction, I think it will eventually return to something close to the pre-pandemic world.

[justme]

I can't say never again, partially because I'm only 34, but a lot of my hobbies will be a while. Concerts, plays, watching hockey games - I think all that will be a while until it's back in any form and further until back to normal. Same with going to a bar or going dancing or brunch.

Dating will be changed for a while. I think that's the part that can affect the most change personality. Single and childless at 34 with this going on makes it a lot harder to change either (with the exception of sperm donor in the clinical or one night stand variety which aren't personally an option).

[billisonboard]

Jul 13, 2020 14:25:08 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Jul 13, 2020 14:18:34 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

What in your professional and/or personal life has this pandemic made unlikely that you will never do again? Is it significant or just annoying? How are you dealing with it?

Over the past thirty years I have developed expertise in what I call "metaphor play". I engage groups of people in doing a physical activity and then lead a discussion to find meaning from what is experienced in the play and take it to a wider part of their lives. Almost all of what I do is the antithesis of social distancing. Obviously I am not able at this time to lead the activities that I normally lead. And at my age (63), I am not sure that I will ever be able to do so again. I take comfort in what I have done in the past but it is difficult to deal with the reality I might not have new experiences.

I don't think life will be that different in the ways you are suggesting in the medium term. Work from home will be more common, the increase in density some were pushing for in communities will likely decrease, big cities may not grow much, as people will be able to live where they chose with remote work.  think medicine will change. The just in time approach is a complete failure in a pandemic world, so hopefully, we will recognize it and allow more "fat" in the system. But human interaction, I think it will eventually return to something close to the pre-pandemic world.

Here is an example of what I do: Start with a circle of 50 or so people, older children or adult. Have every other person take a step forward so you have an inner circle and an outer circle. Tell them a story about a local volcano potentially ready to erupt and we are going to do a drill to prepare them to seek shelter in small stone huts scattered around the woods that we are about to go into. The outer circle starts walking around while the inner circle does a chant in an attempt to appease the volcano gods. On a yelled signal, the volcano "explodes", the inner circle raises their arms over their heads, the people in the outer circle step in front of someone with their arms up (the hut), and the arms come down (door closes). Repeat with the circles having changed roles. Repeat multiple times until the circle is tightly packed (since each time the people step inside). While the group maintains their closeness, lead a discussion of how the group became closer by protecting each other. Get them to consider how difficult it was to get into the circle to be protected when the people were too close together and how that plays out for new people being welcome to join their group. Discuss any of the other things that happened.

How soon do you think we will be in a position for me to lead this activity again?

[Deleted]

Jul 13, 2020 14:18:34 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

What in your professional and/or personal life has this pandemic made unlikely that you will never do again? Is it significant or just annoying? How are you dealing with it?

Over the past thirty years I have developed expertise in what I call "metaphor play". I engage groups of people in doing a physical activity and then lead a discussion to find meaning from what is experienced in the play and take it to a wider part of their lives. Almost all of what I do is the antithesis of social distancing. Obviously I am not able at this time to lead the activities that I normally lead. And at my age (63), I am not sure that I will ever be able to do so again. I take comfort in what I have done in the past but it is difficult to deal with the reality I might not have new experiences.

I’m not sure if it will really be never again, but my side gig requires that I travel every fall to a seminar for training. This year it’s supposed to be in Orlando. There are hundreds of us that travel from all over the country to this seminar, and I don’t see it happening this year. Even if they don’t cancel it, I don’t see me being inclined to attend. Ugh! In the 5 years I’ve been going, this was the first year it was held in a city I didn’t mind going to (it’s in a different city every year), now this!

This side gig also requires me to go to different facilities from early November through early December to share information and answer questions about our product. I don’t see that happening either. Idk if I need a hearing test or what, but with the mask thing, I’ve recently learned that a big part of understanding what people are saying to me is being able to read their lips, which I can’t do with someone that’s wearing a mask. Plus, the way it’s been set up in prior years, the 6ft rule would be impossible, especially at some of the larger facilities I go to. 

I’m kind of sad about it because I enjoy the free trip, even when it’s been to cities I wouldn’t have necessarily visited on my own, and I actually enjoy the work I do, visiting these facilities to share information and answer questions, PLUS it’s a nice break from my regular job. It’s kind of related to my regular job, but not really (I understand that probably makes no sense, but I’m not willing to clarify), so the days I work my side gig, I don’t have to work my regular job.

Anyway, this pandemic just might be the impetus to do everything concerning my side gig differently moving forward, including eliminating the role I play, and that does make me kind of sad.

[pulmonarymd]

Jul 13, 2020 15:02:22 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jul 13, 2020 14:25:08 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I don't think life will be that different in the ways you are suggesting in the medium term. Work from home will be more common, the increase in density some were pushing for in communities will likely decrease, big cities may not grow much, as people will be able to live where they chose with remote work.  think medicine will change. The just in time approach is a complete failure in a pandemic world, so hopefully, we will recognize it and allow more "fat" in the system. But human interaction, I think it will eventually return to something close to the pre-pandemic world.

Here is an example of what I do: Start with a circle of 50 or so people, older children or adult. Have every other person take a step forward so you have an inner circle and an outer circle. Tell them a story about a local volcano potentially ready to erupt and we are going to do a drill to prepare them to seek shelter in small stone huts scattered around the woods that we are about to go into. The outer circle starts walking around while the inner circle does a chant in an attempt to appease the volcano gods. On a yelled signal, the volcano "explodes", the inner circle raises their arms over their heads, the people in the outer circle step in front of someone with their arms up (the hut), and the arms come down (door closes). Repeat with the circles having changed roles. Repeat multiple times until the circle is tightly packed (since each time the people step inside). While the group maintains their closeness, lead a discussion of how the group became closer by protecting each other. Get them to consider how difficult it was to get into the circle to be protected when the people were too close together and how that plays out for new people being welcome to join their group. Discuss any of the other things that happened.

How soon do you think we will be in a position for me to lead this activity again?

Not in the short term. Medium term probably. I think, even without a vaccine, I think things will be better in 18-24 months. Not sure what that looks like. Life has changed more than we like, for the foreseeable future. But, even with previous pandemics in an era where we little to do medically, life eventually returned to normal. No reason to think this is anything different. Now, I think society will have long term changes due to the economic cost of this.

I think people like too many things that require social interaction for us not to resume it. In addition, distance learning isn’t the same for the majority of students

[sesfw]

Airline travel is a biggie.  Every 5 years we go to Austria for about 3 weeks and our next trip is supposed to be next June-ish.  Really don't see this happening, and with DH going into memory loss, not sure it will ever be again.  Glad we have our prior trips to remember.

Celebrations with family and nice meals out is something we miss.  Our favorites are buffets so the little ones can get what they want and the variety they want.

Theater, concerts, participation in various choirs, our church, ........... when these come back they will be different.

Just having lunch with friends, being with people

<sigh>

[tractor]

I used to really enjoy traveling for work, whether by car or plane to cities around the US. In fact my job description changed last fall to require me to travel even more, I loved it.

However, with all the stay at home orders and thus, working from home, life has become one zoom meeting to another. Things are working, save a ton on travel expenses for my employer (and all others), not to mention the reduced cost of caterers, meals out, etc. I fear that the day of extensive work travel may be over.

[lynnerself]

We have been traveling internationally 2 or 3 times a year. This will resume only if an effective vaccine becomes available.

[Empire the P.A.]

When I first joined this group I posted about retiring when I reached my goal of 20 years with the police department. It was about being financially secure with retirement (pension + 457 fund) and was so gung ho about it but of course I got side tracked with life and stayed on the job to be a bit more secure in retirement. Now that all this craziness is going on with COVID and anti-police sentiment I decided this was it I’m done. I am now retiring with just over 25 years in service and will make due with what I have. It’s a bit bittersweet. No more New Years Eve detail, Thanksgiving Parade, Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks, etc. No more crowds for me it’s not worth it anymore to stay. 

[movingforward]

Interesting...i have a whole list of things that I DO plan to do again. Nothing on the list of things I will never do again.

I just told some colleagues on a conference call the other day that as soon as this is over I plan to see them all in person, give them all hugs, then we are going to go dancing or karaoke or whatever.

I'm already planning trips for 2021.

I also can't wait for Broadway shows to open back up, go see the Spurs play, etc.

I agree with pulmonarymd. Other than what businesses survive and some aspects of work life, I don't expect much to change long term.

Shoot, we can't even keep people from social distancing during a worldwide pandemic. I certainly don't think they are going to do it when this is over.

Sorry bills, I just realized you asked what we plan not to do and I just did the exact opposite of what you asked.

[billisonboard]

Jul 13, 2020 20:31:56 GMT -5 movingforward said:

Interesting...i have a whole list of things that I DO plan to do again. Nothing on the list of things I will never do again.

I just told some colleagues on a conference call the other day that as soon as this is over I plan to see them all in person, give them all hugs, then we are going to go dancing or karaoke or whatever.

I'm already planning trips for 2021.

I also can't wait for Broadway shows to open back up, go see the Spurs play, etc.

I agree with pulmonarymd. Other than what businesses survive and some aspects of work life, I don't expect much to change long term.

Shoot, we can't even keep people from social distancing during a worldwide pandemic. I certainly don't think they are going to do it when this is over.

Sorry bills, I just realized you asked what we plan not to do and I just did the exact opposite of what you asked.

Not a problem.

[teen persuasion]

There are so many things at our library that we may consider never doing again, lots of them for children.

Lego club - open play for whoever shows up. We bins full of Legos on a tablecloth (easier cleanup) on several tables pushed together. Kids paw thru the thousands of pieces to find the ones they want to build their masterpieces. the leftovers back in the bins for next meeting.

Costumes for free play, also baskets of blocks, cars, Mr PotatoHead.

Random art supplies for drop-in crafts.

Building straws and BrainFlakes for building play.


Then there's programs like Summer Reading with presenters packing large groups in a room, Video Game day where the kids swap controllers back and forth taking turns, Downton Abbey Tea (mostly older patrons and food) and other food-based events.


To some degree, Inter Library Loan is a bit suspect right now. Do we really want items from ~2 dozen libraries spread over 3 counties (and apparently 2 different regions, according to the state ) distributed daily by one guy in a van? If he gets covid, we are all exposed in 2 days.

[Tiny]

I was thinking about "change" again.  And I think as we move thru life there are always things that we do one last time and then not ever again.  I think sometimes we just aren't aware it's the last time... and it isn't until much later that we realize we stopped doing something.   like eating at a particular restaurant - or the "group" at work no longer going out to lunch (or to work out, or to go for a lunch time walk).   It just mysteriously stops happening.  

Then there's the kind of "change" where we "do" the same thing - just differently.   I play a table top game with a handful of other people.  We use to all get together at someone's home - sitting around the dining room table - catching up and then pulling out our paper, pencils, dice, and books to play.   We've been playing (more!) since March.  Except we are now sitting down at our own dining room table and joining a Zoom meeting.  I see my friends in their dining rooms (we had a rotating schedule for hosting game night).  We see each other's spouses, kids, and pets.... we're just not in the same room anymore.  It's different  but still familiar.    I suspect many things that we do  will be in this category - it's the same "result" or "goal" just arrived at a bit differently. 

I can't really think of anything people typically do that will simply stop being done and won't happen again in the future.  OK, maybe some forms of in person "shopping" will change or vanish.   (Maybe the stores that rely on solely on "impulse" and "browsing" purchases will vanish (antique stores and tchotcke stores for example).    

I'm not sure what I won't go back to doing once we can "socialize" again.  I didn't do anything very "specialized" in a social way.   I expect to return to the "theater/concert hall".  I'm hoping to go to fun conventions again in the future.   I expect I will ride the Train downtown again someday.    I expect to be able to sit in the same room as my friends and enjoy an evening of card games or board games or an RPG... 

I do wonder how many of the social events will "change" - maybe there will be a better way to do it online.  Perhaps concerts will be streamed (one time only and by "ticket" only) - maybe there will be some way to get an "audience" feel via technology.     

I don't know.  We will have to wait and see.  

[thyme4change]

I'm guessing I won't go into an office 5 days per week ever again. I'm guessing when we do go back to offices, the dress code will be relaxed for the rest of my career.

What I hope I will be able to do again....

Travel
Go to the theater
Hug my parents

[djAdvocate]

nothing comes to mind, other than calling my parents.