skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Feb 4, 2020 6:58:58 GMT -5
I personally would leave it alone. Set the money aside mentally, but don't act on it yet. If it bothers him, he will eventually talk to you about it. Then you can have a conversation about priorities. Here it is....excellent and very wise advice....well stated SS.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 4, 2020 9:15:23 GMT -5
That would really pi$$ me off if my kid did that to me. I don't think I could tolerate that kind of disrespect. You really have to wonder where those $60k went. Based on the timing of the loan and the BK I doubt they paid off the cc cards. Mom didn't think they paid them off either and said daughter was still complaining about money. If I remember right, there was a loss when her house was sold, so I think that daughter came out ahead by quite a bit. I only see pictures of the kids together at Christmas--(now with their kids). I will see two of the adult kids when I go to Colorado and maybe this one. I always have a hard time looking her in the face because she probably doesn't know I know this.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 4, 2020 9:17:19 GMT -5
A very dear friend and her husband loaned her daughter and son-in-law about $60,000 to pay credit card debt. There was a loan document, etc. Next day daughter and SIL file bankruptcy and list this loan to be discharged.They did even it up in the will. Both are gone now and I was told that the daughter wasn't thrilled, but she already got $60,000. The estate wasn't all that large so she ended up with nothing. That would really pi$$ me off if my kid did that to me. I don't think I could tolerate that kind of disrespect. It did piss my friend off. I can't tell you how many phone calls I heard about this and her efforts to get the money back. If memory serves, the husband said they would still pay her back. They paid her $50 and that is all I ever heard they paid. Of course, a few years later mom passes away at age 65.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 4, 2020 12:56:02 GMT -5
That would really pi$$ me off if my kid did that to me. I don't think I could tolerate that kind of disrespect. It did piss my friend off. I can't tell you how many phone calls I heard about this and her efforts to get the money back. If memory serves, the husband said they would still pay her back. They paid her $50 and that is all I ever heard they paid. Of course, a few years later mom passes away at age 65. I would definitely feel like I failed as a parent if my kid did that to me. And that is not an attack on your friends. I'm just saying how I would feel. I can guarantee that my daughter would be completely written out of my will if she pulled something as awful as that...and she would lose a hell of a lot more than the $60k she scammed from me. Jesus, I would hope I could haunt her from my grave! I am also vindictive enough that I would let the entire world know what kind of a scumbag she was. Child or not, momma don't play that way.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Feb 4, 2020 13:42:11 GMT -5
Yeah if that were my kid they would have been completely written out of my will or trust the day after they filed BK.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Feb 4, 2020 13:51:50 GMT -5
It did piss my friend off. I can't tell you how many phone calls I heard about this and her efforts to get the money back. If memory serves, the husband said they would still pay her back. They paid her $50 and that is all I ever heard they paid. Of course, a few years later mom passes away at age 65. I would definitely feel like I failed as a parent if my kid did that to me. And that is not an attack on your friends. I'm just saying how I would feel. I can guarantee that my daughter would be completely written out of my will if she pulled something as awful as that...and she would lose a hell of a lot more than the $60k she scammed from me. Jesus, I would hope I could haunt her from my grave! I am also vindictive enough that I would let the entire world know what kind of a scumbag she was. Child or not, momma don't play that way. I can’t believe how financially stupid the kids were. Borrow money to pay off bills that would have been discharged in bankruptcy? When you were obviously already considering filing for bankruptcy? Really? Even so, part of the blame must go to the parents. It appears that they knew the money was to pay off credit card bills. $60K is a truck load of money. Didn’t Mom and Dad even ask if there were other bills and, considering the size of the loan, if bankruptcy was on the table? Didn’t Mom and Dad ask for enough information to ensure that they knew the kids would be able to afford to pay back a loan? If the kids were so inexperienced/foolish that they ran up a massive credit card debt, I’d do what I needed to do to ensure I understood the whole situation and expect that I would need to make sure that I protected myself.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Feb 4, 2020 14:32:31 GMT -5
A very dear friend and her husband loaned her daughter and son-in-law about $60,000 to pay credit card debt. There was a loan document, etc. Next day daughter and SIL file bankruptcy and list this loan to be discharged. They did even it up in the will. Both are gone now and I was told that the daughter wasn't thrilled, but she already got $60,000. The estate wasn't all that large so she ended up with nothing. I'm no expert in bankruptcy proceedings by any stretch (basically I know nothing) - but I find it extremely difficult to imagine that a judge would sign off on discharging a $60k loan that was taken out the day before filing for bankruptcy? I'd love to hear Thyme's take on whether this is something that would happen. It seems blatantly fraudulent.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Feb 4, 2020 14:41:23 GMT -5
A very dear friend and her husband loaned her daughter and son-in-law about $60,000 to pay credit card debt. There was a loan document, etc. Next day daughter and SIL file bankruptcy and list this loan to be discharged. They did even it up in the will. Both are gone now and I was told that the daughter wasn't thrilled, but she already got $60,000. The estate wasn't all that large so she ended up with nothing. I'm no expert in bankruptcy proceedings by any stretch (basically I know nothing) - but I find it extremely difficult to imagine that a judge would sign off on discharging a $60k loan that was taken out the day before filing for bankruptcy? I'd love to hear Thyme's take on whether this is something that would happen. It seems blatantly fraudulent. It's not something that would happen. That's what stops people from taking out as much unsecured debt as possible and then doing something like paying off non-dischargeable student-loan debt, paying off their house, putting it all on black, etc.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 4, 2020 14:52:09 GMT -5
It's been about 15 years now. I know there was a large loan made and bankruptcy was filed shortly thereafter.
It was also about the same time that my friend found out her husband had been cheating on her with his high school sweetheart for many years. For some strange reason, he felt compelled to tell me before he told my friend--his wife. He wanted to know how I thought she would react.
I told him I did not think it would be well and that he had to tell her that evening because I would tell her about the affair the next morning. He wanted to stay in the house and live apart in the house and I knew that wasn't going to fly. She was out of town and the idiot told her on the way back from picking her up at the airport. She kicked him out immediately and changed the locks.
No more bashing my friend please. This was the beginning of trying to find out why she had so many headaches. After two years of searching, it was determined she had inoperable brain cancer and she died about 2 months later.
I would not be surprised if the tumor growing in her brain was affecting her thinking. No more calling her a failure. Period.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Feb 4, 2020 14:55:48 GMT -5
It's been about 15 years now. I know there was a large loan made and bankruptcy was filed shortly thereafter.It was also about the same time that my friend found out her husband had been cheating on her with his high school sweetheart for many years. For some strange reason, he felt compelled to tell me before he told my friend--his wife. He wanted to know how I thought she would react. I told him I did not think it would be well and that he had to tell her that evening because I would tell her about the affair the next morning. He wanted to stay in the house and live apart in the house and I knew that wasn't going to fly. She was out of town and the idiot told her on the way back from picking her up at the airport. She kicked him out immediately and changed the locks. No more bashing my friend please. This was the beginning of trying to find out why she had so many headaches. After two years of searching, it was determined she had inoperable brain cancer and she died about 2 months later. I would not be surprised if the tumor growing in her brain was affecting her thinking. No more calling her a failure. Period. And that could happen, you can file for bankruptcy whenever you want...whether things get discharged is another matter entirely.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Feb 4, 2020 16:14:30 GMT -5
It's been about 15 years now. I know there was a large loan made and bankruptcy was filed shortly thereafter. It was also about the same time that my friend found out her husband had been cheating on her with his high school sweetheart for many years. For some strange reason, he felt compelled to tell me before he told my friend--his wife. He wanted to know how I thought she would react. I told him I did not think it would be well and that he had to tell her that evening because I would tell her about the affair the next morning. He wanted to stay in the house and live apart in the house and I knew that wasn't going to fly. She was out of town and the idiot told her on the way back from picking her up at the airport. She kicked him out immediately and changed the locks. No more bashing my friend please. This was the beginning of trying to find out why she had so many headaches. After two years of searching, it was determined she had inoperable brain cancer and she died about 2 months later.
I would not be surprised if the tumor growing in her brain was affecting her thinking. No more calling her a failure. Period. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 4, 2020 17:52:00 GMT -5
Thank you CCL I still miss her.
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