Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2018 16:13:13 GMT -5
One of my cousins was left out of his Dad's will completely while his three siblings received significant (to me) amounts of money. NOBODY knows why. This is sad. I'm not a lawyer but my understanding is that you CAN disinherit a child but the will must acknowledge their existence so that the disinherited child can't claim you just forgot. The father could at least have included a reason in the will even though that wouldn't have been required. Zib has mentioned that she's going to leave her kids token amounts, so that will likely be upheld. One memorable story I heard when doing work for lawyers in my summers during college was an attorney who left his son 30 dimes- back when dimes were pure silver. Yeah, he left him 30 pieces of silver.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 20, 2018 23:22:35 GMT -5
When my lawyer gets back into town for the “winter” I intend to change my will. My kids will get token amounts, the rest is going where I want it to go. I’m sure they both assume it’s a 50/50 split and it is now but that’s going to change and I’m not informing them. wait...what? Why? Both my kids are doing well financially. I won’t totally leave them nothing but unlike some charities, they don’t need the money.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 20, 2018 23:24:35 GMT -5
Token amount isn’t like $5. Add four zeros.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 21, 2018 2:08:21 GMT -5
Who will be your Executor? In reality, nobody is really looking over the Executor to make sure a will is followed.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 21, 2018 4:56:38 GMT -5
Who will be your Executor? In reality, nobody is really looking over the Executor to make sure a will is followed. So far DS is. My lawyer will oversee it. My estate is easy peasy now with no more rentals.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2018 8:46:42 GMT -5
Who will be your Executor? In reality, nobody is really looking over the Executor to make sure a will is followed. Huh? That's what probate is for- the courts have a regular set of documents the Executor must complete and file before the estate can be closed. An Executor can also be required to purchase a bond (with the estate's money) that will pay off if the Executor misuses the funds in the estate.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 21, 2018 8:54:49 GMT -5
Who will be your Executor? In reality, nobody is really looking over the Executor to make sure a will is followed. Huh? That's what probate is for- the courts have a regular set of documents the Executor must complete and file before the estate can be closed. An Executor can also be required to purchase a bond (with the estate's money) that will pay off if the Executor misuses the funds in the estate. Not every estate goes to probate. I was Executor for my mom's will. I did go talk to an attorney. He said basically I can do whatever I want and that really nobody is standing over you looking at checkbooks, funds, etc. I got more help from my mom's financial advisor who helped me do a 50/50 split with my sister. It was a little bit tricky since her IRA only named me and there were different tax consequences, etc. I then kept some money in her bank acct for a year in case there were outstanding taxes as she had died early in the year but there were final taxes to paid. My point is that in reality, there isn't someone monitoring that. And, shady people can pretty much do whatever they want because unless someone does some type of legal challenge, nothing is really going to come of it. With larger amounts of money of course, the likelihood of that probably goes up. But, you want to make sure your Executor will carry out your wishes. If her children are unaware they are not beneficiaries of it all, that might not go as planned. Another case in point was my SIL. After DH's mom died, SIL said "mom would want me to have all the money and the house". Honestly we really didnt' care but DH's brother was quite livid. So, we had to involve a lawyer. Had we not involved a lawyer, she would have simply done whatever she wanted.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2018 9:38:56 GMT -5
Another case in point was my SIL. After DH's mom died, SIL said " mom would want me to have all the money and the house". Honestly we really didnt' care but DH's brother was quite livid. So, we had to involve a lawyer. Had we not involved a lawyer, she would have simply done whatever she wanted. I hope you didn't hand over your share after that. Even if I didn't care about the money, that statement would have annoyed me to no end.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Oct 21, 2018 9:44:09 GMT -5
A trust can be even more secretive than an estate that goes to probate. As my brother and I were working through our father's trust, my brother asked me "just who is the trust police?" The answer is no one. The IRS is involved only to a point where someone is claiming the income that the trust produces. Our siblings were not given copies of the trust or will and they were not included in any of the decision making processes. At one point our attorney told us to have any family members with questions call him and he would explain that only the trustee and successor trustee named in the documents can make decisions and direct the money within the trust. Older brother and I both took a one time payment for the time and travel that was involved in administering our father's trust. I did not feel the need to share the amount of the trustee payment with our other brothers (combined the payment was less than half of what is allowed by law). Our father died a slow death from cancer. He made us promise several times that as his trustees we would be totally fair with a 4 way split. That was very important to him. We do honor his wishes, but we will take another trustee fee when Mom passes because of the scope of work within her will and trust will consume another year of our lives. I do not think it is fair to work for a year on an estate, only to receive the same amount as the siblings who put no effort forth either before or after our parent's passing.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 21, 2018 10:13:35 GMT -5
My father handled my Grandma's estate. He sent a letter that said by law he had to send out an accounting of the distributions, and attached a list of accounts and receivers. He did not attach any other documentation. Technically, he could have misstated the original value, or left off an account. I can't imagine he did. But, if someone else more devious was in the same position, I saw some flaws in the system
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2018 17:14:34 GMT -5
Another case in point was my SIL. After DH's mom died, SIL said " mom would want me to have all the money and the house". Honestly we really didn't care but DH's brother was quite livid. So, we had to involve a lawyer. Had we not involved a lawyer, she would have simply done whatever she wanted. Glad I have only one kid. It simplifies things. I thought the court would do a better job of supervising executors but I guess the onus is on the heirs to take action if someone is being dishonest.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Oct 21, 2018 18:22:33 GMT -5
Huh? That's what probate is for- the courts have a regular set of documents the Executor must complete and file before the estate can be closed. An Executor can also be required to purchase a bond (with the estate's money) that will pay off if the Executor misuses the funds in the estate. Not every estate goes to probate. I was Executor for my mom's will. I did go talk to an attorney. He said basically I can do whatever I want and that really nobody is standing over you looking at checkbooks, funds, etc. I got more help from my mom's financial advisor who helped me do a 50/50 split with my sister. It was a little bit tricky since her IRA only named me and there were different tax consequences, etc. I then kept some money in her bank acct for a year in case there were outstanding taxes as she had died early in the year but there were final taxes to paid. My point is that in reality, there isn't someone monitoring that. And, shady people can pretty much do whatever they want because unless someone does some type of legal challenge, nothing is really going to come of it. With larger amounts of money of course, the likelihood of that probably goes up. But, you want to make sure your Executor will carry out your wishes. If her children are unaware they are not beneficiaries of it all, that might not go as planned. Another case in point was my SIL. After DH's mom died, SIL said "mom would want me to have all the money and the house". Honestly we really didnt' care but DH's brother was quite livid. So, we had to involve a lawyer. Had we not involved a lawyer, she would have simply done whatever she wanted. Yes. I've seen it happen more than once even with probate, especially if it's an unsupervised estate. Don't forget all the household goods, jewelry, cash, coins, etc. They pretty much do what they want.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Oct 21, 2018 18:25:28 GMT -5
When my lawyer gets back into town for the “winter” I intend to change my will. My kids will get token amounts, the rest is going where I want it to go. I’m sure they both assume it’s a 50/50 split and it is now but that’s going to change and I’m not informing them. Now this is something I'd tell even if I was secretive about the rest of my finances. Just a casual conversation over dinner saying you're leaving all your money to charity would be sufficient. I know nobody should expect any inheritance, but why surprise them after your death when they're already hurting? Keep the token amount secret and make it a good surprise. I mean, didn't you go through something similar where you were hurt and confused at the reading of your husband's will and were wondering if that is how he really meant to have it? Wouldn't it have better if he'd laid it all out ahead of time and let you know? One of my cousin's was left out of his Dad's will completely while his three siblings received significant (to me) amounts of money. NOBODY knows why. He never said anything to him or anyone else and they got along. He was deeply hurt and gets to spend the rest of his life just wondering if it was a mistake or he just really didn't want him to receive any of the funds. BTW, his sibs all gave him a cut so it ended up being equal anyhow, but I know it still eats at him. That's good that your cousins were fair/generous with each other. There's no way that would happen with our families.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2018 9:39:09 GMT -5
That's good that your cousins were fair/generous with each other. There's no way that would happen with our families. Well, for starters, none of them were hurting for money, which probably helped. Also, our grandmother was still alive and she was a very strong matriarch that insisted family stuck by one another and treated each other fairly...she was very good at it. I can't imagine either of them dissing a sibling out of an inheritance on her watch. LOL
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