finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 8, 2024 4:57:03 GMT -5
I've read about elder care villages in, I think, Norway or maybe Denmark, for those with dementia. They are designed to be as simple as possible for their occupants and include everything so that no one must leave. Residents bring in a set of their own possessions to set up their apartments. Care takers live there, too. There are shared kitchens, dining areas, stores and gardens so that people can keep doing what they are capable of and love. They allow for simple lives lived out in dignity. That's what I would like if I fall into dementia. I know, it's a dream here.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 8, 2024 12:38:20 GMT -5
My aunt's memory care facility here in Iowa had small houses where the residents lived. I think 8 residents were in each house. This place fixed the food at each house and fed the residents when they wanted to eat.
Each family was asked to bring stuff from the person's past so they would have comfortable things in their room.
Activities were in each house.
I'm guessing that was very expensive.
My aunt didn't have to go to a nursing home until the last couple of weeks.
Her daughter and son finally admitted they left her in her home in a town of 200 far too long. She became a wanderer so they were locking her in. Someone finally got through to them that locking her in the house is not safe and they moved her.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Feb 8, 2024 17:39:44 GMT -5
I wonder about my final years/months/days but in a sort of abstract way. DH is 8 years older but says he will outlive me which is possible and he will definitely not be my caregiver if he does, and I have done the best I can to provide for my/his futures by setting up the trust, etc. We have LTC coverage but many here have repeatedly said we wasted our $$ buying that as they don't really pay out. That could certainly be true, but we never earned enough to self-fund as many here have done so we insured instead.
No one knows, of course, but my short-term vision is selling our home in 2-5 years and moving to an active senior apartment complex. At some point after that one or both of us may want/need to be in a situation where meal service or cleaning service is an added-cost option. After that, who knows?
As everyone here knows, we have no relatives so our future(s) are in the hands of the bank that will ultimately be responsible for us. And I'm not unhappy about that as everything I read here makes me happy we didn't have children that we might have been tempted to burden with our care. I dealt with my mother until her death; DH's parents handled their own stuff.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Feb 9, 2024 11:01:37 GMT -5
I really think my mom is getting worse. I was there Sunday and Monday. I stopped in Wednesday and was also there yesterday. She is very confused. Her friend is taking her to have her hair permed on Saturday. It is on her calendar. When I went on my lunch yesterday, she was sitting there at her dining room table and said she was going to get her hair done. I said no, today is Thursday, you are going to get your hair done on Saturday. I was there for a bit. I called the dentist to verify if they were charging to an insurance because I have figured out she is being charged on one of her checking accounts for Physicians in Physician insurance. The dentist said they are charging American Something Insurance - which they said was a Physicians Mutual Plan. I called Physcians Mutual and asked for a card and an outline of the benefits. She also has dental insurance on her Medicare Advantage Plan. I am pretty sure I can drop that, but first will figure out if it would cover at her dentist. I am not going to try to change her dentist. My brother and his wife go to same dentist, and they would not go there if he was not the best. Then I told mom I thought she should go to her Dr. and see if they can give her some kind of arthritis meds for her sore knees/hips and back. So I called and they actually gave her an appointment on Monday already. I called my brother on my way back to work and he said well I should call Dr. K and see when they are coming to do the evaluation if she is ok to live on her own. DB called me back and apparently the conclusion is that both the health care POA and the Financial POA should be activated. He told DB that he got mom to agree that the Financial POA should be activated.
I had an appointment to have my own hair colored last night. I was in the chair having my eyebrows waxed when mom called me about 8pm. She was like Bean, when are you coming to get me? I was like wait, what, where are you...and then it computed that she called from her landline. I said mom, you are at home right now. I will pick you up on Saturday after you have your hair colored. I debated if I should run over there, but I live about 20-25 minutes from my mom. I called DB to tell him what happened, and he said he would run over there and check on her. I was in my basement feeding the rabbits when he called back, so he sent a text that all was ok. I just acknowledged his text. I did not have any bandwidth left to hash over anything with DB at that point. I didn't even tell DH anything about it.
There is no history of dementia in either side of my family. If my dad had not developed ALS, there would not be a Medical/Financial POA for us to fall back on. we are damn lucky they are even in place, but I foresee this being a big headache. I need to get my taxes done (DH has his own business, our taxes are complicated) and then I need to see a CPA and an attorney to do some financial planning.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 9, 2024 11:35:57 GMT -5
Bean - sorry to hear this about your mom. Glad you have a brother to help.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Feb 9, 2024 11:52:12 GMT -5
Bean - I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I know nothing about dementia but wondered if there is ANY possibility that her rapidly increasing confusion could be, at least partly, due to a new medication or an interaction in meds or supplements?? Is she taking anything new or possibly taking double doses or anything like that? I know meds can interact and sometimes when people see multiple doctors, they might not be aware of what each is prescribing.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 9, 2024 12:42:18 GMT -5
My cousin, who is in her early 80's has a type of dementia and she has rapidly declined. She knows no one, not her children or her sister. They are just people who talk to her.
I am so happy my dad knew us until the end.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Feb 9, 2024 13:13:56 GMT -5
Bean - I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I know nothing about dementia but wondered if there is ANY possibility that her rapidly increasing confusion could be, at least partly, due to a new medication or an interaction in meds or supplements?? Is she taking anything new or possibly taking double doses or anything like that? I know meds can interact and sometimes when people see multiple doctors, they might not be aware of what each is prescribing. She could be taking her meds incorrectly, but she is not seeing new Drs. I decided I will ask the Internal Med (Geriatric Specialist) Dr on Monday if he thinks she needs to see foot dr. I realized afterwards that she went to Foot Dr for a corn on her toe where it was rubbing against her shoe. She was declining before Christmas, that is why my brother and SIL wanted the re-evaluation and were pushing to have her move to a senior living apartment. He set up a conference call with My Sister and I way back on January 7th. I agreed with him then that she had gotten worse, but just this last week she has been especially bad, very confused. She can read, write and count just fine, but as soon as she is done counting the $$, she forgets what she did and starts over. If she writes herself a note, she does not necessarily connect what it is about and even though I wrote Saturday the 10th, she does not know what day today is, so it does not do any good. I have a Dr appt at 2 pm for my shoulder. I will probably wait to follow up with my brother until Sunday, then I will have interacted with her on Saturday and will have more info to report. I am going to call her at 9 or 10 am and remind her she has a hair appointment tomorrow. Both POAs require 2 Drs to agree to her mental state necessitating the activation for them to be put in place. The Psychologist will get his report over to Dr. T asap so he can hopefully agree and we can move on to the next step. Because Mom's knees and hips and back are bothering her, she is unlikely to wander. Brother and SIL worry about the stove and fire, but it is an electric stove. There is a risk of her falling down her rather steep basement stairs if she goes down to do laundry. It is not like she will remember she should not go down the stairs or should ask me to help with her laundry.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 9, 2024 13:17:02 GMT -5
I've read about elder care villages in, I think, Norway or maybe Denmark, for those with dementia. They are designed to be as simple as possible for their occupants and include everything so that no one must leave. Residents bring in a set of their own possessions to set up their apartments. Care takers live there, too. There are shared kitchens, dining areas, stores and gardens so that people can keep doing what they are capable of and love. They allow for simple lives lived out in dignity. That's what I would like if I fall into dementia. I know, it's a dream here. I know it sounds great, but what happens when the person with dementia is a danger to themselves? My mom would leave the stove on, or leave the door open, or wander away. Some also get really violent.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 9, 2024 13:37:56 GMT -5
In those villages caretakers are living among the residents and, depending on their condition, maintain close contact with them daily or hourly or constantly. I'm not sure about the violence, or what can be done. My grandmother would get agitated at the end but never violent. And her agitation was founded.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 10, 2024 10:29:27 GMT -5
Bean - I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I know nothing about dementia but wondered if there is ANY possibility that her rapidly increasing confusion could be, at least partly, due to a new medication or an interaction in meds or supplements?? Is she taking anything new or possibly taking double doses or anything like that? I know meds can interact and sometimes when people see multiple doctors, they might not be aware of what each is prescribing. She could be taking her meds incorrectly, but she is not seeing new Drs. I decided I will ask the Internal Med (Geriatric Specialist) Dr on Monday if he thinks she needs to see foot dr. I realized afterwards that she went to Foot Dr for a corn on her toe where it was rubbing against her shoe. She was declining before Christmas, that is why my brother and SIL wanted the re-evaluation and were pushing to have her move to a senior living apartment. He set up a conference call with My Sister and I way back on January 7th. I agreed with him then that she had gotten worse, but just this last week she has been especially bad, very confused. She can read, write and count just fine, but as soon as she is done counting the $$, she forgets what she did and starts over. If she writes herself a note, she does not necessarily connect what it is about and even though I wrote Saturday the 10th, she does not know what day today is, so it does not do any good. I have a Dr appt at 2 pm for my shoulder. I will probably wait to follow up with my brother until Sunday, then I will have interacted with her on Saturday and will have more info to report. I am going to call her at 9 or 10 am and remind her she has a hair appointment tomorrow. Both POAs require 2 Drs to agree to her mental state necessitating the activation for them to be put in place. The Psychologist will get his report over to Dr. T asap so he can hopefully agree and we can move on to the next step. Because Mom's knees and hips and back are bothering her, she is unlikely to wander. Brother and SIL worry about the stove and fire, but it is an electric stove. There is a risk of her falling down her rather steep basement stairs if she goes down to do laundry. It is not like she will remember she should not go down the stairs or should ask me to help with her laundry. Always check for uti too. Its so weird how those affect older people, but if that is the cause, the treatment is pretty miraculous.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 10, 2024 10:39:50 GMT -5
I've read about elder care villages in, I think, Norway or maybe Denmark, for those with dementia. They are designed to be as simple as possible for their occupants and include everything so that no one must leave. Residents bring in a set of their own possessions to set up their apartments. Care takers live there, too. There are shared kitchens, dining areas, stores and gardens so that people can keep doing what they are capable of and love. They allow for simple lives lived out in dignity. That's what I would like if I fall into dementia. I know, it's a dream here. I know it sounds great, but what happens when the person with dementia is a danger to themselves? My mom would leave the stove on, or leave the door open, or wander away. Some also get really violent. Dgf wasn't violent, but he was yelling, swearing, and pacing, plus calling the police and fire department for various things (which is what finally got him placed). They eventually found a drug cocktail that mostly settled him, but I don't think there was a good option for him and that was fairly early stages. Apparently my dad's mom was also mean and angry once the dementia set in so I'm pretty much doomed - both parents have a high likelihood of losing themselves and I'll likely turn into a mean old lady too. I don't think there is a good option. The first time my dad said his plan was to kill himself when he realizes its happening I was appalled. But that was before I saw what happened to my grandfather. Now its still heartbreaking to think about, but I totally get it. I'd rather kill myself than say things like that to the people I love. I just won't tell my kids that's option a if better treatment options aren't around by the time I need them. Even dgm by the end had a tick where she'd just call out, "hey" over, and over, and over. She didn't know she was doing it but everyone else did. If you live long enough with it, you lose absolutely everything which sounds awful. Its one thing if you are contented even if you can't remember, but if you're scared, angry, or confused...extending life just doesn't seem like a gift anymore.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 10, 2024 11:50:19 GMT -5
I totally get hoping you will know in time to kill yourself if you have dementia.
As I've watched my dad, aunts and uncles deal with it, I do not want to do that.
One uncle couldn't visit his mother because she swore at him the entire visit. She didn't swear at him when she was growing up and he couldn't handle it. His wife could visit. While she knew this was not her usual behavior, she was not as emotionally involved as her husband. She took a book and let her swear away.
I would also rather kill myself than go to a nursing home. I know I would not do well in a congregate setting and they would not be serving vegetarian food and think a salad is okay.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 10, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -5
I totally get hoping you will know in time to kill yourself if you have dementia. As I've watched my dad, aunts and uncles deal with it, I do not want to do that. One uncle couldn't visit his mother because she swore at him the entire visit. She didn't swear at him when she was growing up and he couldn't handle it. His wife could visit. While she knew this was not her usual behavior, she was not as emotionally involved as her husband. She took a book and let her swear away. I would also rather kill myself than go to a nursing home. I know I would not do well in a congregate setting and they would not be serving vegetarian food and think a salad is okay. Some nursing homes are better about vegetarian food plus if you had family in the area, they could get okayed to bring some in. I do better indoors than out so hopefully I could find a way to get better food if I found myself needing to live in such a place.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 10, 2024 12:01:40 GMT -5
I've read about elder care villages in, I think, Norway or maybe Denmark, for those with dementia. They are designed to be as simple as possible for their occupants and include everything so that no one must leave. Residents bring in a set of their own possessions to set up their apartments. Care takers live there, too. There are shared kitchens, dining areas, stores and gardens so that people can keep doing what they are capable of and love. They allow for simple lives lived out in dignity. That's what I would like if I fall into dementia. I know, it's a dream here. I know it sounds great, but what happens when the person with dementia is a danger to themselves? My mom would leave the stove on, or leave the door open, or wander away. Some also get really violent. I think the caretakers would need to step up. The violent ones are the hardest because they are a danger to the community and the caretakers. You need enough staff to keep certain people away from stoves, ovens and sometimes doors. That's why many dementia units are locked wards, and some have indoor/outdoor rooms which permanently have windows just slightly open to the outside air. Finnime sounds like a wonderful idea for some elders.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 10, 2024 12:05:55 GMT -5
I know it sounds great, but what happens when the person with dementia is a danger to themselves? My mom would leave the stove on, or leave the door open, or wander away. Some also get really violent. Dgf wasn't violent, but he was yelling, swearing, and pacing, plus calling the police and fire department for various things (which is what finally got him placed). They eventually found a drug cocktail that mostly settled him, but I don't think there was a good option for him and that was fairly early stages. Apparently my dad's mom was also mean and angry once the dementia set in so I'm pretty much doomed - both parents have a high likelihood of losing themselves and I'll likely turn into a mean old lady too. I don't think there is a good option. The first time my dad said his plan was to kill himself when he realizes its happening I was appalled. But that was before I saw what happened to my grandfather. Now its still heartbreaking to think about, but I totally get it. I'd rather kill myself than say things like that to the people I love. I just won't tell my kids that's option a if better treatment options aren't around by the time I need them. Even dgm by the end had a tick where she'd just call out, "hey" over, and over, and over. She didn't know she was doing it but everyone else did. If you live long enough with it, you lose absolutely everything which sounds awful. Its one thing if you are contented even if you can't remember, but if you're scared, angry, or confused...extending life just doesn't seem like a gift anymore. I hope you don't get the mean brand. Mom's mom was mean and a terror at her facility. However, on mom's long journey with Alzheimer's she never became mean like her mom did. I don't know if they can predict what variety you are going to get ahead of time, but once it starts manifesting, I think they can give educated guesses about how things might progress.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 10, 2024 12:24:21 GMT -5
I know it sounds great, but what happens when the person with dementia is a danger to themselves? My mom would leave the stove on, or leave the door open, or wander away. Some also get really violent. Dgf wasn't violent, but he was yelling, swearing, and pacing, plus calling the police and fire department for various things (which is what finally got him placed). They eventually found a drug cocktail that mostly settled him, but I don't think there was a good option for him and that was fairly early stages. Apparently my dad's mom was also mean and angry once the dementia set in so I'm pretty much doomed - both parents have a high likelihood of losing themselves and I'll likely turn into a mean old lady too. I don't think there is a good option. The first time my dad said his plan was to kill himself when he realizes its happening I was appalled. But that was before I saw what happened to my grandfather. Now its still heartbreaking to think about, but I totally get it. I'd rather kill myself than say things like that to the people I love. I just won't tell my kids that's option a if better treatment options aren't around by the time I need them. Even dgm by the end had a tick where she'd just call out, "hey" over, and over, and over. She didn't know she was doing it but everyone else did. If you live long enough with it, you lose absolutely everything which sounds awful. Its one thing if you are contented even if you can't remember, but if you're scared, angry, or confused...extending life just doesn't seem like a gift anymore. I agree. Part of it for me is an answer to 'what are you living for?' If the life you love cannot be had, and thinking is very much part of that life for me, then I will end it.
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Post by ners on Feb 10, 2024 16:18:49 GMT -5
Always check for uti too. Its so weird how those affect older people, but if that is the cause, the treatment is pretty miraculous.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Feb 13, 2024 13:11:16 GMT -5
Well, I did not see the comment about the possibility of a UTI, but I really don't think my mom has a UTI. I was with her from 1:30 pm until about 6 pm yesterday, and she did not go to the bathroom at all during that time.
I took her to her Internal Medicine Dr, and the Foot Dr. yesterday. I now have received 7 phone calls from her today (12:05 pm, 11:58 am, 11:28 am, 11:22 am, 10:52 am, 10:48 am 7:45 am, some don't show in my call history, I guess I should not answer on the first ring, so they show up in the call history). She thinks she is going to the Dr. she saw yesterday today. One of her friends is picking her up to take her to a Christian Women Meeting at her Church. I keep telling her she does not have a Dr. Appt today, that she went yesterday and that her friend N, will pick her up at 12:30 pm for the Christian Women meeting.
I ordered a weekly pill box for her, but I just texted my DB and DSis, and said I think we would need to supervise her taking the meds daily. DS liked my comment, so I know she saw it, DB must be busy, b/c no reply yet.
The Dr. Signed off on activating the Medical Power of Attorney yesterday, he said they don't deal with financial POA, that the lawyer would deal with that. I just scanned it and will forward it to the lawyer and see what they say.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Feb 13, 2024 13:29:49 GMT -5
Well, I did not see the comment about the possibility of a UTI, but I really don't think my mom has a UTI. I was with her from 1:30 pm until about 6 pm yesterday, and she did not go to the bathroom at all during that time. I took her to her Internal Medicine Dr, and the Foot Dr. yesterday. I now have received 7 phone calls from her today (12:05 pm, 11:58 am, 11:28 am, 11:22 am, 10:52 am, 10:48 am 7:45 am, some don't show in my call history, I guess I should not answer on the first ring, so they show up in the call history). She thinks she is going to the Dr. she saw yesterday today. One of her friends is picking her up to take her to a Christian Women Meeting at her Church. I keep telling her she does not have a Dr. Appt today, that she went yesterday and that her friend N, will pick her up at 12:30 pm for the Christian Women meeting. I ordered a weekly pill box for her, but I just texted my DB and DSis, and said I think we would need to supervise her taking the meds daily. DS liked my comment, so I know she saw it, DB must be busy, b/c no reply yet. The Dr. Signed off on activating the Medical Power of Attorney yesterday, he said they don't deal with financial POA, that the lawyer would deal with that. I just scanned it and will forward it to the lawyer and see what they say. We tried a weekly pill box for Mister’s Dad, it didn’t help because he never knew what day it was and which compartment he was supposed to open. He ended up switching to some single use pill boxes I’d gotten from a health fair, and would just put the daily pills in there before he went to work every morning. So there was only one thing for his Dad to open, and if he couldn’t remember whether he’d taken his meds, if the box was empty, he’d taken them. His Dad kept losing the little boxes even though he wasn’t supposed to move it off the counter. I only had 3 or 4, so idk what Mister did after his Dad lost the last one. Mister would also leave a note on the counter every morning for his Dad, telling him what he needed to do, and that he loved him. Mister had put one of our outdoor cameras on the window sill over the kitchen sink, so we could see what his Dad was doing when he went in the kitchen. He did stand there and read the note out loud Mister had left him, sometimes a few times/day. But he didn’t necessarily do what was in the note. In my experience, all the tools and tricks don’t necessarily help. They have to remember to read the note, then try to remember to do what the note says, then try to remember if they read the note for that day, then try to remember if they already did what the note said to do. At that point, the only real way to keep them on track is for somebody to be there with them and help them, by making sure they take the right meds at the right time, and things like that. I am sorry your Mom, you and your siblings are going through this.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Feb 13, 2024 15:59:21 GMT -5
Well, I did not see the comment about the possibility of a UTI, but I really don't think my mom has a UTI. I was with her from 1:30 pm until about 6 pm yesterday, and she did not go to the bathroom at all during that time. I took her to her Internal Medicine Dr, and the Foot Dr. yesterday. I now have received 7 phone calls from her today (12:05 pm, 11:58 am, 11:28 am, 11:22 am, 10:52 am, 10:48 am 7:45 am, some don't show in my call history, I guess I should not answer on the first ring, so they show up in the call history). She thinks she is going to the Dr. she saw yesterday today. One of her friends is picking her up to take her to a Christian Women Meeting at her Church. I keep telling her she does not have a Dr. Appt today, that she went yesterday and that her friend N, will pick her up at 12:30 pm for the Christian Women meeting. I ordered a weekly pill box for her, but I just texted my DB and DSis, and said I think we would need to supervise her taking the meds daily. DS liked my comment, so I know she saw it, DB must be busy, b/c no reply yet. The Dr. Signed off on activating the Medical Power of Attorney yesterday, he said they don't deal with financial POA, that the lawyer would deal with that. I just scanned it and will forward it to the lawyer and see what they say. We tried a weekly pill box for Mister’s Dad, it didn’t help because he never knew what day it was and which compartment he was supposed to open. He ended up switching to some single use pill boxes I’d gotten from a health fair, and would just put the daily pills in there before he went to work every morning. So there was only one thing for his Dad to open, and if he couldn’t remember whether he’d taken his meds, if the box was empty, he’d taken them. His Dad kept losing the little boxes even though he wasn’t supposed to move it off the counter. I only had 3 or 4, so idk what Mister did after his Dad lost the last one. Mister would also leave a note on the counter every morning for his Dad, telling him what he needed to do, and that he loved him. Mister had put one of our outdoor cameras on the window sill over the kitchen sink, so we could see what his Dad was doing when he went in the kitchen. He did stand there and read the note out loud Mister had left him, sometimes a few times/day. But he didn’t necessarily do what was in the note. In my experience, all the tools and tricks don’t necessarily help. They have to remember to read the note, then try to remember to do what the note says, then try to remember if they read the note for that day, then try to remember if they already did what the note said to do. At that point, the only real way to keep them on track is for somebody to be there with them and help them, by making sure they take the right meds at the right time, and things like that. I am sorry your Mom, you and your siblings are going through this. Yeah, I texted Db and Ds that mom never would remember to take the meds unless one of us went over there and gave them to her as I pretty much came to the same conclusion. There was a note that she took the Namzaric yesterday, but not sure if she remembered to take it today. Of course, she gets the days mixed up, so the note saying she took the meds yesterday could have really been today.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Feb 13, 2024 16:49:32 GMT -5
We tried a weekly pill box for Mister’s Dad, it didn’t help because he never knew what day it was and which compartment he was supposed to open. He ended up switching to some single use pill boxes I’d gotten from a health fair, and would just put the daily pills in there before he went to work every morning. So there was only one thing for his Dad to open, and if he couldn’t remember whether he’d taken his meds, if the box was empty, he’d taken them. His Dad kept losing the little boxes even though he wasn’t supposed to move it off the counter. I only had 3 or 4, so idk what Mister did after his Dad lost the last one. Mister would also leave a note on the counter every morning for his Dad, telling him what he needed to do, and that he loved him. Mister had put one of our outdoor cameras on the window sill over the kitchen sink, so we could see what his Dad was doing when he went in the kitchen. He did stand there and read the note out loud Mister had left him, sometimes a few times/day. But he didn’t necessarily do what was in the note. In my experience, all the tools and tricks don’t necessarily help. They have to remember to read the note, then try to remember to do what the note says, then try to remember if they read the note for that day, then try to remember if they already did what the note said to do. At that point, the only real way to keep them on track is for somebody to be there with them and help them, by making sure they take the right meds at the right time, and things like that. I am sorry your Mom, you and your siblings are going through this. Yeah, I texted Db and Ds that mom never would remember to take the meds unless one of us went over there and gave them to her as I pretty much came to the same conclusion. There was a note that she took the Namzaric yesterday, but not sure if she remembered to take it today. Of course, she gets the days mixed up, so the note saying she took the meds yesterday could have really been today. I forgot to mention in my earlier post, and I hate being all gloom and doom, but I don’t think the symptoms of UTI’s are necessarily the same in older people, as they are in younger people. And apparently, in older people, they can also cause changes in their behavior if they aren’t diagnosed and treated. Idk exactly how all of that works, but I say that because an old friend of mine, his Mom ended up in the hospital and diagnosed with a UTI. I don’t remember exactly what her symptoms were, but because UTI symptoms had been on my radar after complications from my daughter’s surgery for a congenital defect with her kidney, I remember thinking that my friends’ Mom’s symptoms were even more atypical than what my DD experienced for a while after her surgery. But my friend’s Mom did have an UTI, which was discovered after she was admitted to the hospital. All of that to say, that I don’t think whether or not your Mom had to pee during the time she was with you, necessarily means that she doesn’t have an UTI. Because I’m quoting your post, I can’t just scroll up to see if whatever Doctor you just took your Mom to, took a urine sample and ruled out an UTI. Again, I feel for all of you, trying to figure out what is best for your Mom, and what she needs.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 13, 2024 17:18:17 GMT -5
My 90 year old cousin was diagnosed with a UTI last week. Her niece said she had none of the usual symptoms of a UTI. I hope that means she is feeling better by now.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Apr 5, 2024 17:34:12 GMT -5
40 years of beating the odds has come to an end. There was a fire in the basement of my mother's house. A dehumidifier smoked for what must have been a long time. My mom has not spent a winter in her house since the 1980's. We have a family friend check it on the regular. Sometime between last Friday and this past Wednesday, the damaged happened. The good news is that there is no structural damage. The bad news is the house is full of a sooty film upstairs and the basement is a gut job from the smoke damage.
We just told her today. Her house will not be lived in for a couple months. She took it pretty well, very grateful no one was hurt. Looks like she's going to be trying out apartment living for the summer. I feel for my brother that lives by her. He will be the one to shoulder the responsibility of handling the insurance claim.
It's gonna be a long summer.
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plugginaway22
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Post by plugginaway22 on Apr 5, 2024 17:47:10 GMT -5
Ohhhh, bookkeeper I am feeling for you. My 85 year old mother had a scare with a forgotten pot boiling dry. She did not hear smoke alarms. She did not smell anything. She only reacted when she saw smoke billowing in front of her TV show. We are on borrowed time. She 'Will not leave' her home.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 5, 2024 19:58:57 GMT -5
That's very scary and lucky. Glad no one's hurt and the house is overall OK.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Apr 6, 2024 9:49:39 GMT -5
40 years of beating the odds has come to an end. There was a fire in the basement of my mother's house. A dehumidifier smoked for what must have been a long time. My mom has not spent a winter in her house since the 1980's. We have a family friend check it on the regular. Sometime between last Friday and this past Wednesday, the damaged happened. The good news is that there is no structural damage. The bad news is the house is full of a sooty film upstairs and the basement is a gut job from the smoke damage. We just told her today. Her house will not be lived in for a couple months. She took it pretty well, very grateful no one was hurt. Looks like she's going to be trying out apartment living for the summer. I feel for my brother that lives by her. He will be the one to shoulder the responsibility of handling the insurance claim. It's gonna be a long summer. Can you use this opportunity to get her to "right-size" in a more appropriate living situation? Glad no one was hurt. Expect this to take months. Depending on your area getting good qualified contractors can take months. Good luck to you and best wishes to your brother.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Apr 6, 2024 10:23:44 GMT -5
There is a type of pill box especially made for "forgetful" people, that is set up on a timer, and gives out the appropriate pills at the time set. Also, an alarm sounds letting the person know it's time to take their pills. The problem is, if their dementia is bad they may not know what the alarm is for.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Apr 6, 2024 15:48:06 GMT -5
40 years of beating the odds has come to an end. There was a fire in the basement of my mother's house. A dehumidifier smoked for what must have been a long time. My mom has not spent a winter in her house since the 1980's. We have a family friend check it on the regular. Sometime between last Friday and this past Wednesday, the damaged happened. The good news is that there is no structural damage. The bad news is the house is full of a sooty film upstairs and the basement is a gut job from the smoke damage. We just told her today. Her house will not be lived in for a couple months. She took it pretty well, very grateful no one was hurt. Looks like she's going to be trying out apartment living for the summer. I feel for my brother that lives by her. He will be the one to shoulder the responsibility of handling the insurance claim. It's gonna be a long summer. Can you use this opportunity to get her to "right-size" in a more appropriate living situation? Glad no one was hurt. Expect this to take months. Depending on your area getting good qualified contractors can take months. Good luck to you and best wishes to your brother. We are definitely going to use the housing allowance from the insurance company to try an apartment. She lives seven miles from the town we went to school in which is about 900 people. The larger town is 15 miles away and has around 20,000 people. She will be 87 soon and is still driving. There are apartments in each town. I would like to let the insurance co pay for a few months in the small town. She can then decide if that's the spot or if the larger town (with a public transit bus) would be better. Assisted living that she has already toured is in the larger town.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Apr 7, 2024 4:14:37 GMT -5
I hope the apartment-finding goes smoothly with your mother, bookkeeper, and that she is comfortable.
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