Is Zaire feeling too sensitive?

[ZaireinHD]

1. I was in line at Quick Check. Holding a arm full of items. White lady in front of me. didn't pay too much attention of what the guy at the register, young white guy, said to her as a greeting. but I am sure it wasn't much? now I put down my items. he asks. How am I doing? I answer. It turned out to be a pleasant day. I am doing great! he responded. glad to hear. he asked. did I find all the items I wanted? I responded yes. now I have paid for my items, as he is putting them in the bag. he then said. have a good day and try to stay out of trouble.

I found that to be offensive! WTF! why would he tell me; not just to stay out of trouble. but try to stay out of trouble! is it because I am a Black man! Black men are always getting into trouble? so I put my things down on the next counter and listened in on the chat greetings for the white guy behind me. Cashier asked how. How are you doing. he replied good. he had one item and paid. Cashier said thank you. have a nice day! I wanted to start trouble and question this azz! why did he say to me to stay out of trouble? but NO! I just left out!

2. I was in Walgreen's on a different day. 2 items in my hands. this guy walks up behind me. he is standing close to me. I mean, uncomfortably close. I started to think he was going to pick-pocket me? so I take a half step forward. he moves up as well. I move forward three more times. wanting to put some space between us. he follows and keeps too close for my comfort. so I walk around the corner looking at other items to possibly purchase. kinda stepping out of the line. he doesn't follow. then I go next to the counter to pay for my items. I wanted to start trouble and yell at this guy to step the F back! but I didn't.   

I'm wondering if I was being too sensitive?

[busymom]

I've had cashiers say dumb things to me, too.


The guy standing too close to me would bother me.  I would've stepped out of line, too.  Some people don't understand the concept of "personal space", but then, maybe he was a pickpocket, so better safe than sorry.

[Tennesseer]

'Try to stay out of trouble' is an old expression. It used to be said to me in my younger days. I'm much old now so I don't here it said anymore to me. It's more casual, friendly banter than anything else.

Your interaction with the cashier was pleasant up to that point. And by your own description, to me at least, was pleasant to the end too.

If you want to test it, stop by there again during the work week when the same person might be working again and see what is said.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Apr 10, 2018 22:43:19 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

1. I was in line at Quick Check. Holding a arm full of items. White lady in front of me. didn't pay too much attention of what the guy at the register, young white guy, said to her as a greeting. but I am sure it wasn't much? now I put down my items. he asks. How am I doing? I answer. It turned out to be a pleasant day. I am doing great! he responded. glad to hear. he asked. did I find all the items I wanted? I responded yes. now I have paid for my items, as he is putting them in the bag. he then said. have a good day and try to stay out of trouble.

I found that to be offensive! WTF! why would he tell me; not just to stay out of trouble. but try to stay out of trouble! is it because I am a Black man! Black men are always getting into trouble? so I put my things down on the next counter and listened in on the chat greetings for the white guy behind me. Cashier asked how. How are you doing. he replied good. he had one item and paid. Cashier said thank you. have a nice day! I wanted to start trouble and question this azz! why did he say to me to stay out of trouble? but NO! I just left out!

2. I was in Walgreen's on a different day. 2 items in my hands. this guy walks up behind me. he is standing close to me. I mean, uncomfortably close. I started to think he was going to pick-pocket me? so I take a half step forward. he moves up as well. I move forward three more times. wanting to put some space between us. he follows and keeps too close for my comfort. so I walk around the corner looking at other items to possibly purchase. kinda stepping out of the line. he doesn't follow. then I go next to the counter to pay for my items. I wanted to start trouble and yell at this guy to step the F back! but I didn't.   

I'm wondering if I was being too sensitive?

#1 I agree with Tenn that that is a pretty common phrase. It’s supposed to be friendly/sarcastic. And I’m a pretty over sensitive person, so if I’m not offended by it...yeah.

#2 I hate it when people get in my bubble! However, I don’t think there’s a malicious intent; I think they of a different opinion when it comes to personal space.

I hope tomorrow’s a better day for you!

[toomuchreality]

Yep. Yep. and yep.  I agree with the responses given.

Someone told me to try and stay out of trouble just a few days ago. I don't remember who, or where. But we both had a good chuckle over the idea of me going out and causing trouble. I am a very low key, older white woman. 
My guess is that the cashier probably thought it was pretty apparent you were not the type to get in trouble, or he wouldn't have said it.

Speaking of trouble... Was that you peeking in my window last week? 


The guy standing too close would have bothered me too.

[NoNamePerson]

I'm downright delighted when someone tells me to try to stay out of trouble. I'm flattered that they think I could get into trouble at my age!! But no I wouldn't be offended - it's just a saying.

As for the person behind you - yep that would bother me to the point that I have backed up and bumped into them - but then they just think it is a little ole lady loosing her balance and they back up! But I don't suggest you do this - age sometimes has it's advantage especially when I flash my shit eating grin and say aw shucks, I'm so sorry

[swamp]

I get told to stay out of trouble too.  I'm a middle aged white soccer mom.  I think it's just a friendly banter thing.

The bubble invasion would drive me nuts.  

[andi9899]

1. You're being to sensitive. I say things like that all the time to people who come through my line at the PT job. And will people stop trying to make everything about race! People who do/say things to you simply because of race are usually not shy to tell you and you won't be wondering.

2. Some people just have no sense of personal space. Just chalk it up to that.

[MJ2.0]

1. I wouldn't worry about it.

2. I'm about to start saying "can you back up?" to people who do that. We are not dating - there is no reason for you to be all up on my ass.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Apr 11, 2018 10:03:42 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

1. I wouldn't worry about it.

2. I'm about to start saying "can you back up?" to people who do that. We are not dating - there is no reason for you to be all up on my ass.

I've started putting my cart between me and the next person when I'm checking out. I used to just push my cart ahead to where they bag the items, but so many times, I go to pay with my card and the person is standing right by the check out thingie where you put your PIN, etc. So now I put the cart behind me where they can't get that close.  There were times I go to put my bags into my cart, turn around and had to ask the person to "excuse me" so I can get to the machine. No more! And yes....it seem to aggravate people but its' better than them looking over my shoulder while I'm entering my PIN.

[NoNamePerson]

Apr 11, 2018 10:26:41 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Apr 11, 2018 10:03:42 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

1. I wouldn't worry about it.

2. I'm about to start saying "can you back up?" to people who do that. We are not dating - there is no reason for you to be all up on my ass.

I've started putting my cart between me and the next person when I'm checking out. I used to just push my cart ahead to where they bag the items, but so many times, I go to pay with my card and the person is standing right by the check out thingie where you put your PIN, etc. So now I put the cart behind me where they can't get that close.  There were times I go to put my bags into my cart, turn around and had to ask the person to "excuse me" so I can get to the machine. No more! And yes....it seem to aggravate people but its' better than them looking over my shoulder while I'm entering my PIN.

I started doing this also. Partly because of the ass huggers but I also don't have a ton in cart at one time so this way I can also watch the items ring up and catch any errors. I've also started to use the self checkouts more and more - seems like folks are afraid of them so I have the space all to myself.

[Artemis Windsong]

Maybe Z looks like a playa!  Needs to behave!

A step back onto his foot and just stay there.  Or stand your ground and not move. 

I like the defensive cart better.

I was a bad self-check out person.  The woman in front had a lot of items.  The belt was running.  She checked out.  There was a store clerk at the end that I thought was bagging for her.  NO.  I ran my stuff not noticing her.  Here comes the store clerk and said the belt was too full.  Then I looked up to OPPS.  I got my cc out and put it in and waited to finish my stuff.  I then sacked fast.

I got my pocket picked at the movie.  We were mobbed by some teenagers acting energetic while we were stopped at a pinch point.  I don't carry a purse but use my coat pockets.  They must have spied me when I was buying my ticket. They only took a few dollars and replaced my wallet.  I noticed at home because that was my ice cream cone money.  I am more careful now.  I also think they snuck in one of the side doors without paying just to practice their fingersmithing.

I noticed at the movie people will stand in the long line instead of moving to the shorter one. 

[greeniis10]

"Try to stay out of trouble" is just an old saying around here as well. I wouldn't take it personally.

As far as people standing too close to me? I DO say something. I'll say, "Can you please give me some space?". So far I've not had to say anything else and they comply. Or, I go to the store directly from the gym when I'm all sweaty and gross and hope most people will stand even farther away from me.

[Chocolate Lover]

I've been told to stay out of trouble a lot too. I must have that look

It's funny, the people most often in my bubble are old men.   I'm about to start getting mouthy on them. I get a lot of grocery carts in my bubble from the people behind me crowding me,  but the cart isn't going to try to steal something or attempt to cop a feel either. 

[movingforward]

I like to step backwards when people are in my space. It is sometimes fun to back up and semi push them "by accident." Then I say something like "oh, sorry...I didn't realize someone was standing so close to me."

I get told to stay out of trouble all the time too. I once had a boss that said it to me every Friday afternoon before I left. Of course, this was when I was in my 20's. He knew me too well

[Happy prose]

It's just a saying. It's like 'don't take any wooden nickles'. 

[mmhmm]

Apr 11, 2018 16:16:18 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I like to step backwards when people are in my space. It is sometimes fun to back up and semi push them "by accident." Then I say something like "oh, sorry...I didn't realize someone was standing so close to me."

I get told to stay out of trouble all the time too. I once had a boss that used to say it to me every Friday afternoon before I left. Of course, this was when I was in my 20's. He knew me too well

I tend to take a couple of steps forward and turn to face the intruder. Works every time and no word needs be said.

As far as the comment about not getting into trouble, I think that was just a quip and no harm was meant. I've had the same said to me.

[andi9899]

I made a comment to a male customer buying women's shoes that they'll look fabulous on him. The guy laughed and said he thought so too.

[engineerdoe]

1.  I don't think the clerk meant anything by saying that and was just trying to connect with you using humor. 
2.  I would turn and stare at the person getting all up in my space until they got uncomfortable.



e.t.a.:
I don't think you are too sensitive.  Your feelings are your feelings, but I hope reading the responses here helps to soothe your feelings.

[thyme4change]

Yesterday I was at the store in the line for check out and a man just walked right in front of me. There was another guy behind me, and I was with my husband. I was so stunned I just stared at him and then he said "Oh, were you in line? I couldn't tell because you were way back." I was touching the check out station and putting my stuff down.

I guess if you don't stand right on the person in front of you, you are "way back" and don't deserve to get served.

[MJ2.0]

Apr 12, 2018 15:20:08 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Yesterday I was at the store in the line for check out and a man just walked right in front of me. There was another guy behind me, and I was with my husband. I was so stunned I just stared at him and then he said "Oh, were you in line? I couldn't tell because you were way back." I was touching the check out station and putting my stuff down.

I guess if you don't stand right on the person in front of you, you are "way back" and don't deserve to get served.

no, that guy was just an ass bucket.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 12, 2018 16:14:01 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Apr 12, 2018 15:20:08 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Yesterday I was at the store in the line for check out and a man just walked right in front of me. There was another guy behind me, and I was with my husband. I was so stunned I just stared at him and then he said "Oh, were you in line? I couldn't tell because you were way back." I was touching the check out station and putting my stuff down.

I guess if you don't stand right on the person in front of you, you are "way back" and don't deserve to get served.

no, that guy was just an ass bucket.

[MJ2.0]

Apr 12, 2018 16:36:40 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 12, 2018 16:14:01 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

no, that guy was just an ass bucket.

also, yes.

[ZaireinHD]

Apr 10, 2018 23:44:05 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

'Try to stay out of trouble' is an old expression. It used to be said to me in my younger days. I'm much old now so I don't here it said anymore to me. It's more casual, friendly banter than anything else.

Your interaction with the cashier was pleasant up to that point. And by your own description, to me at least, was pleasant to the end too.

If you want to test it, stop by there again during the work week when the same person might be working again and see what is said.

Hmmm. I see! Understand your point

1. however up here this side in upper NJ. I have noticed there are different workers. But I am NOT aware of the different times I am at the same store?

2. I am 100% sure this situation will NOT happen again. because this was his mood at that specific time. and people mood will change by the mini-nano second - LOL
3. I am interested to know if this could be a repeated phrase "stay out of trouble" - saying it now irritates me!

[andi9899]

What is archer?

[Tennesseer]

Apr 12, 2018 21:03:36 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

What is archer?

"Archer is an American adult animated sitcom created by Adam Reed for the basic cable network FX. It follows the exploits of a dysfunctional group of secret agents—Sterling Archer and seven of his ..."link

[ZaireinHD]

Apr 11, 2018 10:03:42 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

1. I wouldn't worry about it.

2. I'm about to start saying "can you back up?" to people who do that. We are not dating - there is no reason for you to be all up on my ass.

oh now that is funny!  because I was thinking the same. not exactly to yell and make a scene. but just turn and say can you just stand still?

I mean people here are stealing. pick pocket at times is easy to very easy! for example. gloves are in my coat pocket first. then my cell phone is sticking out. guy close behind me can take my cell!

I would have no F-ing idea!

[ZaireinHD]

Apr 12, 2018 15:20:08 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Yesterday I was at the store in the line for check out and a man just walked right in front of me. There was another guy behind me, and I was with my husband. I was so stunned I just stared at him and then he said "Oh, were you in line? I couldn't tell because you were way back." I was touching the check out station and putting my stuff down.

I guess if you don't stand right on the person in front of you, you are "way back" and don't deserve to get served.

this guy cut you off!

jumped in front!

NO Way! the line ends back there buddy!

[weltschmerz]

I was at the depanneur corner store  today. There was a guy in wheelchair in front of me at the checkout. He motioned me to go ahead of him.
"No, thank you, you were here first"
"That's all right madame, you can go ahead of me."
"No, were were here first.You go."

It turned into a whole thing. Good thing it didn't come to blows.

Does that count for anything?

[ZaireinHD]

ok! I can't help from not laughing! but that is funny and sounds like a comedy scene!

but I am recently over it. when people offer me something now. I just say ok and take.

> hey sir. you only have two items and can go in front of me. / YUP - I'll go and say thanks

> Hello good morning; afternoon sir. can I ring that up for you? / Ummm. opposed to me getting behind the register and charging myself these items? sure go right ahead! LOL