2018 Get Organized & Declutter Your Stuff

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jan 1, 2018 21:03:12 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Some stuff was brought in from when we moved years ago, still haven't purged all those

boxes, sigh. Lot of old meds and toiletries, most went in the trash.

We are packing up all the junk DIL bought, hubs yelling at me to get it packed so he can

load it, I got mad screaming back, not my job but did it downstairs. I'm tired. Getting her

to do stuff is like pushing paper with a stick. They went out New Years Eve so neither

wanted to do anything. He is driving me crazy to get this stuff ready. I did finish in the

basement today and its in the garage. He is not happy that she bought all this junk here

that we have to haul 800 miles, but she just wouldn't listen.  She couldn't figure out why

we were screaming at each other.  I tried telling her that he has been on me all week to

get it packed and I tried to get her to do it but didn't want to nag.  I did over and over but

she just doesn't get it.  It's mostly language, she really needs to dig in and listen and learn,

she listens to too much Russian programming.

Anyway after that tirade, I did get a lot cleaned out of the basement, also some of our

furniture is going from down there so really helps.  When we get back going to go through

all my boxes down there, I have really thinned down, going to do some more of it.

I want a couch down there, we loaned the one down there to a tenant, so its gone, and a

recliner is going with the kids plus DD's very nice bed from the group home we bought

her.

I know I missed why they're living with you, but she's really irritating me. I cannot fathom how you've not thrown her out yet. She just cannot be that dumb that she doesn't understand what you're asking of her or have unintentionally be that naive. 

[Sharon]

Jan 1, 2018 21:29:21 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Jan 1, 2018 21:03:12 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Some stuff was brought in from when we moved years ago, still haven't purged all those

boxes, sigh. Lot of old meds and toiletries, most went in the trash.

We are packing up all the junk DIL bought, hubs yelling at me to get it packed so he can

load it, I got mad screaming back, not my job but did it downstairs. I'm tired. Getting her

to do stuff is like pushing paper with a stick. They went out New Years Eve so neither

wanted to do anything. He is driving me crazy to get this stuff ready. I did finish in the

basement today and its in the garage. He is not happy that she bought all this junk here

that we have to haul 800 miles, but she just wouldn't listen.  She couldn't figure out why

we were screaming at each other.  I tried telling her that he has been on me all week to

get it packed and I tried to get her to do it but didn't want to nag.  I did over and over but

she just doesn't get it.  It's mostly language, she really needs to dig in and listen and learn,

she listens to too much Russian programming.

Anyway after that tirade, I did get a lot cleaned out of the basement, also some of our

furniture is going from down there so really helps.  When we get back going to go through

all my boxes down there, I have really thinned down, going to do some more of it.

I want a couch down there, we loaned the one down there to a tenant, so its gone, and a

recliner is going with the kids plus DD's very nice bed from the group home we bought

her.

I know I missed why they're living with you, but she's really irritating me. I cannot fathom how you've not thrown her out yet. She just cannot be that dumb that she doesn't understand what you're asking of her or have unintentionally be that naive. 

I believe she and the grandson are staying with Pat and family until they relocate to NY.  Pat's son and family was working in S. Korea and they evacuated the family to Pat's house because of the volatility with the North.  The son then finished up what he was doing in Korea and the son's family is now moving to NY. 

[Deleted]

Jan 1, 2018 21:29:21 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Jan 1, 2018 21:03:12 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Some stuff was brought in from when we moved years ago, still haven't purged all those

boxes, sigh. Lot of old meds and toiletries, most went in the trash.

We are packing up all the junk DIL bought, hubs yelling at me to get it packed so he can

load it, I got mad screaming back, not my job but did it downstairs. I'm tired. Getting her

to do stuff is like pushing paper with a stick. They went out New Years Eve so neither

wanted to do anything. He is driving me crazy to get this stuff ready. I did finish in the

basement today and its in the garage. He is not happy that she bought all this junk here

that we have to haul 800 miles, but she just wouldn't listen.  She couldn't figure out why

we were screaming at each other.  I tried telling her that he has been on me all week to

get it packed and I tried to get her to do it but didn't want to nag.  I did over and over but

she just doesn't get it.  It's mostly language, she really needs to dig in and listen and learn,

she listens to too much Russian programming.

Anyway after that tirade, I did get a lot cleaned out of the basement, also some of our

furniture is going from down there so really helps.  When we get back going to go through

all my boxes down there, I have really thinned down, going to do some more of it.

I want a couch down there, we loaned the one down there to a tenant, so its gone, and a

recliner is going with the kids plus DD's very nice bed from the group home we bought

her.

I know I missed why they're living with you, but she's really irritating me. I cannot fathom how you've not thrown her out yet. She just cannot be that dumb that she doesn't understand what you're asking of her or have unintentionally be that naive. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jan 1, 2018 21:40:53 GMT -5 Sharon said:

Jan 1, 2018 21:29:21 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I know I missed why they're living with you, but she's really irritating me. I cannot fathom how you've not thrown her out yet. She just cannot be that dumb that she doesn't understand what you're asking of her or have unintentionally be that naive. 

I believe she and the grandson are staying with Pat and family until they relocate to NY.  Pat's son and family was working in S. Korea and they evacuated the family to Pat's house because of the volatility with the North.  The son then finished up what he was doing in Korea and the son's family is now moving to NY. 

Thanks. I suppose that gives me a bit of a reason to extend the DIL grace; that is a bit of a traumatic circumstance. 

[zibazinski]

Yes and no. It’s DIL’s stuff. It’s up to her and her husband to pack and deal with. I get Pat and her husband want the crap out of their house but this isn’t her problem. It’s theirs.

[whoisjohngalt]

Jan 1, 2018 21:03:12 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Some stuff was brought in from when we moved years ago, still haven't purged all those

boxes, sigh. Lot of old meds and toiletries, most went in the trash.

We are packing up all the junk DIL bought, hubs yelling at me to get it packed so he can

load it, I got mad screaming back, not my job but did it downstairs. I'm tired. Getting her

to do stuff is like pushing paper with a stick. They went out New Years Eve so neither

wanted to do anything. He is driving me crazy to get this stuff ready. I did finish in the

basement today and its in the garage. He is not happy that she bought all this junk here

that we have to haul 800 miles, but she just wouldn't listen.  She couldn't figure out why

we were screaming at each other.  I tried telling her that he has been on me all week to

get it packed and I tried to get her to do it but didn't want to nag.  I did over and over but

she just doesn't get it.  It's mostly language, she really needs to dig in and listen and learn,

she listens to too much Russian programming.

Anyway after that tirade, I did get a lot cleaned out of the basement, also some of our

furniture is going from down there so really helps.  When we get back going to go through

all my boxes down there, I have really thinned down, going to do some more of it.

I want a couch down there, we loaned the one down there to a tenant, so its gone, and a

recliner is going with the kids plus DD's very nice bed from the group home we bought

her.

Holy crap, can you get more judgemental?

And one would think that you and your husband should be happy having your family live with you for a bit even if they are not as perfect as  you would like them to be.

And!!!  If you and your husband grew up where she did, may be you would be buying tons of useless crap too....

[whoisjohngalt]

Knee Deep in Water Chloe - are those challenges from his book? I think I have one of this books....if I didn't have so much clutter, I would know for sure

Sam_2.0 - my husband might not be a hoarder, but has a million and one hobbies and we have soooooo much stuff. And I don't think kids know the words "throwing away", so I am drowning in stuff. I, on another hand, can live in a shoe box with nothing in it. I got tired waiting for everyone to change, so here is what I am doing:

I am just concentrating on my own spaces and not allowing anyone to put anything there. I told them that if I see something that is mine in my space - it becomes mine, with no turning back. We shall see what happens

[countrygirl2]

Because it was going to become a disaster. Hubs was so mad he was just going to go

off and leave it. Now could you see that mess? Haven't seen son in 10 years and having

a huge fight over crap she bought. Son isn't to happy about it already. I'm not getting

involved in that.

He already is going back to a weekly allowance for her and I think has taken her credit

card not sure. That is between them, I just want it gone. Hubs almost caused a big scene

yesterday when she was going to haul back into our living room a HUGE box of toys from

the back porch. You can't walk in there now, he was really mad. We just need to get them

going to their new place, praying they close this week or next and still be on good terms

when its done. It's really getting hard, 6 people in a house is not something we are used to,

and its wearing on us badly. Thankfully little guy is a good kid, love him to pieces so that

keeps harmony. Now I'm about ready to kill their cat, that thing had me up and down all

night last night howling and meowing and its LOUD. They were gone and she was looking

all over for the.

Also realize hubs is out building side walls for a trailer, he did heat the garage, and its zero

and below here and he has all this to load.  It's cold and miserable, she has all kinds of

cosmetics and things that will freeze that has to be hauled inside, then taken into the motel!

He is going to sh**.  I never saw so much cosmetics in my life, I don't think all that stuff

will fit in the vehicles, have grandson, car seat, cat, dog, DD, and boxes of things that will

freeze, that will be another battle at the hotel, sigh.

Anyway this is about decluttering and man are we!  LOL!

[countrygirl2]

Believe me, we have bent over backwards, daily. Hubs babysat constantly so she could

go and do.  We have made her feel welcome, done everything for her. Grandson was also

sick and I went to every specialist around getting him well.  I do sympathize, but she

has a buying problem, believe me. I'm sure it stems from being poor for many years.

She said the time of petrosku sp? was awful there. We just wanted her to wait till she

got up there. And honestly a lot of it is useless. And clothes upon clothes.

 

We bought her a new car, and we are loaning them almost $150k toward their house, its

kind of irritating to see her waste money like that, son is paying $95k cash. We probably

would have just given it to them, but no point if she is just going to waste it.  Son has

money going automatically to savings and if he makes it long enough will have a pension

and SS so they should be ok, he has about $400k in retirement savings he can't touch. 

We have decided after all of this, if something happens to son, in our will, will just set up

that she only gets so much a year, otherwise would probably be gone quickly. We will

survive the next week or two it will be fine.  I don't know if she is naïve or just lazy, I

 hate to say it but I think some of it is lazy. You don't know how many times I hear oh

give him a bath I'm tired, or go and sit down after dinner and no help. She sleeps a LOT. 

She sees me struggle at times walking because of my foot, oh she does say thank you for

cooking dinner or washing clothes and yes I have asked for help. She is doing a little more.

I'm sorry, I am trying not to be  judgmental but I'm 71 and waiting on and cleaning up for

people for 6 months has absolutely  worn me down. I never get done with laundry or

cooking, I'm the maid, then trying to please hubs because he is getting irritated, he sees it

too, but boils over at me.  And DD the last week or two has had some mad fits also.  I'm

ready to  lie down for about a week.  LOL!

I love them all but hope we never have to do this part again, I'm to old for this.

I keep thinking, this too will end.  But I will sure miss son and grandson, love them to

pieces.

[CCL]

Jan 1, 2018 21:03:12 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Some stuff was brought in from when we moved years ago, still haven't purged all those

boxes, sigh. Lot of old meds and toiletries, most went in the trash.

We are packing up all the junk DIL bought, hubs yelling at me to get it packed so he can

load it, I got mad screaming back, not my job but did it downstairs. I'm tired. Getting her

to do stuff is like pushing paper with a stick. They went out New Years Eve so neither

wanted to do anything. He is driving me crazy to get this stuff ready. I did finish in the

basement today and its in the garage. He is not happy that she bought all this junk here

that we have to haul 800 miles, but she just wouldn't listen.  She couldn't figure out why

we were screaming at each other.  I tried telling her that he has been on me all week to

get it packed and I tried to get her to do it but didn't want to nag.  I did over and over but

she just doesn't get it.  It's mostly language, she really needs to dig in and listen and learn,

she listens to too much Russian programming.

Anyway after that tirade, I did get a lot cleaned out of the basement, also some of our

furniture is going from down there so really helps.  When we get back going to go through

all my boxes down there, I have really thinned down, going to do some more of it.

I want a couch down there, we loaned the one down there to a tenant, so its gone, and a

recliner is going with the kids plus DD's very nice bed from the group home we bought

her.

I sure wouldn't be packing her stuff. I'd tell them, including your son, either pack it or you won't have it. There is no way I'd be doing all the work while they are lounging. You are a lot different from me, I wouldn't be doing everything for my kids. I always believed in making them stand on their own two feet. 

[CCL]

As for myself, I'm still working on my office. It's not really cluttered, just trying to ditch all the papers. I may be scanning for the rest of my life lol.

[countrygirl2]

Son has never asked for anything and we didn't do much, he has never been around,

he has lived overseas for over 20 years.

My husband said he was going to put all that shit in the trash. I know what you are

saying and its tempting, but I'm sure that would create a break that would not heal.

I want to see my son and grandson so will do it. Thankfully this is not stuff we have

had to do for years, I would not have done it. So you can understand where I am coming

from. She did do more this afternoon, packed some stuff, washed dishes, etc. I finally

told her if she didn't get all the stuff in her room packed hubs was going to leave it.

He wants to get the trailer loaded and everything wrapped in tarps so it won't get

ruined. Going to be a bad drive up there towing a trailer this time of year.

The bad part is hubs is getting on me about all this, damn, I can't fix it.  Son has

been helping him do that stuff.  He just didn't part of today.  Son has iritus and I think the

cold is playing heck with his eye, hope the ER clinic got an appointment with an

opthamologist  for him in the morning. They said they would, need to take him there.

Also we are taking a trailer up when the weather improves and take some other

furniture.  I'm also packing stuff to help them out so they don't have to buy everything

as I have 2 of everything I think.

[whoisjohngalt]

Russian culture when it comes to family relationship is VERY different from US. VERY VERY different.

To this day when I go to my mom's house (and she is the same age as you and I have 3 very active boys) - I mostly don't lift a finger and she wouldn't have it any other way. Russian grandparents don't "babysit". They just take care of the grandkids so parents can go out, relax, etc when they are able to.

So, applying American standards to someone who might not understand expectations won't do any good.

And as far as buying stuff - again, to you it might be crap - to her it's novelty and exciting. It will most likely pass.

Like I said - I am just surprised about your husband's and your reaction considering that it's your only grandchild and your son who you haven't seen in so long. But of course, I am coming from a different perspective.

[whoisjohngalt]

And one more thing about Russian culture - kids take care of their parents, not send them to nursing homes unless it's really really the very last resort.

So, while your husband is screaming about your DIL's shit, she might be the one changing his diapers one day. Bc as much as my mom didn't get along with her MIL, it was my mom who took care of her while my dad worked, until the last 4 months of my grandmother's life.

[countrygirl2]

We have no problem taking care of grandson. I have been

doing it all, but I'm wearing down. But I will long as I can.

John, I have feet and back issues, also had a minor heart attack

this year. I have osteoarthritis and degenerative disk disease,

have lost 2 inches in my height from disk compression.  Up

until earlier this year I could have done everything

standing on my head. I lost something with my health this

last year. Today chest pain, had to take aspirin, then the tension

with hubs and all, I'm tired man.

I doubt she will be taking care of us.  I don't intend to move

in with anyone nor does hubs.  She was saying she would take

care of DD, I think after seeing her act up the last couple of

weeks, she has changed her mind about that, plus we cannot

afford to take her out of Indiana.

I understand culture is different that is why we have tried giving

her benefit of doubt. But just a lot to do, short time to do it in

and horrible weather. And I'm worn down. Sorry, we do love

them all, just to damn old.

[startsmart]

Quick reminder! When you're giving advice (especially about other people's clutter), we rarely know the whole story and this is not a place of judgment. Try not to take offense when others make suggestions to you and use the private message feature if you'd like discuss something in private. I know it can be frustrating when YOU want to declutter but other people have opinions and disagreements about their stuff in shared spaces but our focus is on our own actions, not relationship advice (because again, we don't know the whole story or dynamics at play).

My update: 

Little frustrated with myself tonight! I wanted to go do some cardio at the gym since I didn't find and put on my garmin to track steps until 4pm and am not going to hit 10,000 steps before bed. Well, they closed at 6pm today for the holiday and it was pitch black outside by 5:30 so unless I pace up and down the hallway I'll need to make up for it tomorrow.

I did get a little batch cooking done tonight but mostly basking in the clean fridge that looks so nice I have a few things to pick up at Costco tomorrow and I should be set for a couple weeks until I go to LA for work. 

I do need to start an LA packing list... 


List for this week: 
Cover garage window in privacy film
Catch up my accounts through October 
Catch up my accounts through November
Catch up my accounts through December
Work on my receipts for 2017
Set up new 2018 file folders 
Get shopping done at Costco
Go through artwork to photograph/store
Go through fabric to donate/use up
Set up my bullet journal for daily habits

[hopetoberich]

I would also like to clean inside the fridge. Good idea for the new year.
I have a nice jug that has been in the hutch for 7 years. I washed it and put it on the stove. Will fill it with tea to reheat during the day. I am sick of not using the "good" stuff.
I love going to Costco too.
I really need to stay focused to get things done.

[debthaven]

are those challenges from his book?

whoisjohngalt those Peter Walsh challenges are from his annual 31 Days To Get Organized Challenge. Every year in January he posts a 10-minute task, and we usually repost them here. If you "like" him on FB, you can get them directly on your FB feed. 

[zibazinski]

DIL sounds depressed. I don’t blame her. A new country, a new language, no place to go, she shops because of nothing to do. I wish she was moving to a nice place in winter. NY won’t help with her mood. Not in winter. I hope she is in or very close to town and finds some friends. Maybe some Russian ones. But that’s on her. Once she’s in her own home I hope she’ll be happier

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Peter Walsh #31Days2GetOrganized

Day 2 2018

Trash Bag Tango

Give everyone in your home two trash bags. 

Each person goes into a room. 

Set the timer for ten minutes. 

Fill one bag with stuff to donate. 

Fill the other bag with trash. 

[finnime]

countrygirl2, I'm awed by all you do. Kudos for being such a loving mother and grandmother. Hope this week goes smoothly for all.

For my own list, I've added clean the refrigerator this week too. Today! Today I'll do it! No cooking plans, so it should be doable, plus garbage pickup is tomorrow.

For this month I will (I swear) recover the dining room chair seats. I've had the fabric for over a year, and it's a simple staple job, but for no good reason I've never gotten to it yet.

[Deleted]

Jan 1, 2018 23:32:03 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Russian culture when it comes to family relationship is VERY different from US. VERY VERY different.

To this day when I go to my mom's house (and she is the same age as you and I have 3 very active boys) - I mostly don't lift a finger and she wouldn't have it any other way. Russian grandparents don't "babysit". They just take care of the grandkids so parents can go out, relax, etc when they are able to.

So, applying American standards to someone who might not understand expectations won't do any good.

And as far as buying stuff - again, to you it might be crap - to her it's novelty and exciting. It will most likely pass.

Like I said - I am just surprised about your husband's and your reaction considering that it's your only grandchild and your son who you haven't seen in so long. But of course, I am coming from a different perspective.

When you visit your mom it’s for 6 months? With her doing everything? She packs up all your shit and moves it too? 

[whoisjohngalt]

Jan 2, 2018 1:55:26 GMT -5 startsmart said:

Quick reminder! When you're giving advice (especially about other people's clutter), we rarely know the whole story and this is not a place of judgment. Try not to take offense when others make suggestions to you and use the private message feature if you'd like discuss something in private. I know it can be frustrating when YOU want to declutter but other people have opinions and disagreements about their stuff in shared spaces but our focus is on our own actions, not relationship advice (because again, we don't know the whole story or dynamics at play).

If this was for me - I won't derail the thread anymore, sorry.  I was just trying to give Pat a different perspective before YM rails up and makes DIL seem like a slob and spendthrift and ungrateful lazy bitch.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Beginning of the week

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jan 2, 2018 9:31:22 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Jan 2, 2018 1:55:26 GMT -5 startsmart said:

Quick reminder! When you're giving advice (especially about other people's clutter), we rarely know the whole story and this is not a place of judgment. Try not to take offense when others make suggestions to you and use the private message feature if you'd like discuss something in private. I know it can be frustrating when YOU want to declutter but other people have opinions and disagreements about their stuff in shared spaces but our focus is on our own actions, not relationship advice (because again, we don't know the whole story or dynamics at play).

If this was for me - I won't derail the thread anymore, sorry.  I was just trying to give Pat a different perspective before YM rails up and makes DIL seem like a slob and spendthrift and ungrateful lazy bitch.

Eh, I thought it was for me.

[Sam_2.0]

I went through the toys in the family room last night, under the guise of organizing and putting like things together. I did get it all organized, but also sneaked out a bag of trash and they never noticed. I have a few more things to rearrange - T is crawling so I've decided anything in the family room has to be safe for him. The smaller toys can live in the play area downstairs or in their bedrooms (he still sleeps in ours).

Sold the baby monitor! Got to get that mailed out today.

[nidena]

Jan 2, 2018 8:08:32 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

DIL sounds depressed. I don’t blame her. A new country, a new language, no place to go, she shops because of nothing to do. I wish she was moving to a nice place in winter. NY won’t help with her mood. Not in winter. I hope she is in or very close to town and finds some friends. Maybe some Russian ones. But that’s on her. Once she’s in her own home I hope she’ll be happier

And/or lonely.  I don't get many visitors so I buy magazines that have people in them.  Once I've read them, the "visit" with them is over.  I currently have three 3' stacks of magazines.  I had more but I took a whole bunch in for a class last term so that my classmates wouldn't have to buy magazines just to analyze/critique advertisements.

[hopetoberich]

I baked Aussie bites today. Or close to them. Costco sells them. Delicious.
I used that time to put some baking ingredients into glass jars that once held peaches from Costco. I am into organization of the pantry so i will bake from scratch more. Its a skill why not use it.

[Iggy aka IG]

Thank you, Knee Deep in Water Chloe , for the Walsh Day2!  I will do just that this weekend in my home office.  And, debthaven , I just "liked" him on FB. 



The 3 day weekend went by quickly as usual.  I did a total of *9* loads of laundry Sat and Sun.  Granted, 3 were bedding and 3 were DH's uniforms, but sheesh....  He had been taking the uniforms in to work, but since he's been working in the field, they piled up at home.  And yes, he helped put them away, etc. 

I also did boatloads of dishes, made some really good meals (including a Dutch baby, apple fritters, crab and shrimp), assembled a casserole for tonight's dinner, a dry rub for tomorrow's pork roast, steamed and peeled eggs for breakfasts, "un-decorated" the main floor, and tossed out most of the garbage food from the fridge.  Back to a low carb lifestyle. 

[busymom]

Jan 1, 2018 20:53:05 GMT -5 hopetoberich said:

I googled it.
300,000 things in the average home.

     Ouch!  Is half of that kid's toys & clothes they've outgrown?  

   
      My contractor was here, and that 3rd window is mostly done.  He'll be back Thursday to put on another coat of finish, then we'll be planning what we need to do with the bathroom.