Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Nov 4, 2017 17:02:50 GMT -5
My kids are starting to grow up! My oldest left for the Air Force in March. He is at Langley in Virginia now. My younger son is a sophomore in college and is living at home and commuting. But, next year he will then go to main campus. DD is in 10th grade and really blossoming as a young lady! How did you all deal with the transition of your kids to adulthood?
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Nov 4, 2017 17:38:08 GMT -5
It was easier than I thought it would be. I only have one daughter. I cried the first year I dropped her off at college, but then I kind of got use to it. Once she graduated, she got a job right away, and shortly after moved out. She's now married, but still lives close by. I think each step prepares you for the next.
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gambler
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"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
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Post by gambler on Nov 4, 2017 19:38:44 GMT -5
had 8 kids, yes it was all my wife fault. waved bye, bye to each one with a with a saw in my hand took down all walls. my wife on the other hand replaced each with a rescue pet. your choice, life goes on
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Nov 4, 2017 19:59:55 GMT -5
We have been slowly transitioning to empty nesters over the last several years. We moved to Alabama 3 years ago when youngest was in college. It was a little strange when he stayed here for the summer because he didn't have a room that was his so he was kind of long term guest. Then oldest moved back in last Thanksgiving and was here for a bit, but she and her DH left for Germany 2 weeks ago. Things are definitely quieter and we enjoy it. The transition from high school with tons of activities to college was harder than after college.
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kadee79
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S.W. Ga., zone 8b, out in the boonies!
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Post by kadee79 on Nov 4, 2017 21:01:34 GMT -5
I only had one son, but I raised him to leave home. It has never been a problem with me, nor the times he has returned between jobs/military posts or whatever. In fact, it's kind of a relief when they are gone....no schedules to keep, meals when you want not at certain times, out to eat whenever, trips when the mood strikes without worrying about someone having enough... And you & DH or SO can chase each other around naked...no worries that someone will walk in!
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Nov 4, 2017 21:31:51 GMT -5
I'm not worried about having an empty nest as my kids are gone most of the time anyway. My fear is what happens when I need them for medical help. I'm not feeling real confidant lately.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 4, 2017 21:33:56 GMT -5
I'm not worried about having an empty nest as my kids are gone most of the time anyway. My fear is what happens when I need them for medical help. I'm not feeling real confidant lately. << BIG HUGS >>
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dee27
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Post by dee27 on Nov 4, 2017 23:30:07 GMT -5
I do not miss the calendar with lots of activities nor juggling work with family responsibilities, but I will always miss my kids. I miss having a crew of YDS's friends stop by for an impromptu visit and staying for dinner. I miss the holidays we all shared together, but because of their schedules, we have not seen them all together at one time. When ODS retires in two years, I hope his availability will change since we have seen him more often than the two younger ones this year.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 5, 2017 6:53:26 GMT -5
I need to be needed so it’s hard on me. I met DH while DD was still needing me/in college so I just traded her for him. Now there’s neither one of them and DS has someone in his life as well.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 5, 2017 7:13:46 GMT -5
I only had one son, but I raised him to leave home. It has never been a problem with me, nor the times he has returned between jobs/military posts or whatever. In fact, it's kind of a relief when they are gone....no schedules to keep, meals when you want not at certain times, out to eat whenever, trips when the mood strikes without worrying about someone having enough... And you & DH or SO can chase each other around naked...no worries that someone will walk in! Same here. I consider it the natural order of things and am proud that got out on his own. But I am also fortunate that he and DIL live in same city but even if they didn't I would still be OK. He dropped out of school and I reminded him of our agreement and plan went into place and was carried out. No biggie!!
I was on my own at a very early age so I guess I just expected that kiddo would do the same when the time came!!
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dezii
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Post by dezii on Nov 5, 2017 7:27:57 GMT -5
had 8 kids, yes it was all my wife fault. waved bye, bye to each one with a with a saw in my hand took down all walls. my wife on the other hand replaced each with a rescue pet. your choice, life goes on "had 8 kids"............. more power to u.....
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Nov 5, 2017 11:14:57 GMT -5
DH and I started going out with friends and doing more couple things two years ago. We realized that we needed to have a life that didn't revolve around the kids and their needs exclusively. It was better for us and better for them.
DS (23) moved out a couple of months ago. He has a great job and life skills and seems to be doing fine. Yes, I miss him, but this is what I wanted for him.
DD (20) is still home technically, but she has two jobs, goes to school, housesits frequently and is rarely home. I'll miss her more when she leaves because we're closer. I raised her to be strong and independent so I'll be ready when it happens.
One major change is not having Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving at my house this year. I'm feeling a huge sense of relief.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Nov 5, 2017 11:47:09 GMT -5
I started learning Spanish, going to a gentle yoga class and started working a little more and taking online classes needed for work.
I have also been traveling with my DH a couple trips a year either when he goes for business trips or on vacation.
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kadee79
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S.W. Ga., zone 8b, out in the boonies!
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Post by kadee79 on Nov 5, 2017 12:05:27 GMT -5
I only had one son, but I raised him to leave home. It has never been a problem with me, nor the times he has returned between jobs/military posts or whatever. In fact, it's kind of a relief when they are gone....no schedules to keep, meals when you want not at certain times, out to eat whenever, trips when the mood strikes without worrying about someone having enough... And you & DH or SO can chase each other around naked...no worries that someone will walk in! Same here. I consider it the natural order of things and am proud that got out on his own. But I am also fortunate that he and DIL live in same city but even if they didn't I would still be OK. He dropped out of school and I reminded him of our agreement and plan went into place and was carried out. No biggie!!
I was on my own at a very early age so I guess I just expected that kiddo would do the same when the time came!!
My mother died when I was 4-5 y.o. and my father when I was 15, so yep...I was on my own early too. And my father had a life changing injury when I was 9, so I had MAJOR responsibilities thrown on my shoulders then too...we lived on & operated a dairy/crop farm, 147 acres back then and made a living with that. I had a step-mother who was a typical mean/nasty step-mother...she worked in town so wasn't home to do the hard farm labor. Had one brother who came & helped on weekends & a step-brother who worked harder at getting out of work than anything else. First visit home after son joined the Navy, he wouldn't allow me to wash or iron his stuff...said I'd likely not do it correctly! Fine with me. He washed his own little league uniforms too back when he was doing that, so he learned most things early.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 5, 2017 14:03:43 GMT -5
Last weekend a few of us were talking about our future lives. All our kids are the same age, so we will all hit that age together.
The movie theater downtown has discounted movies on Tuesdays, so we may do movie and dinner every week. Too bad I still have to wait 5 more years.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Nov 6, 2017 7:58:55 GMT -5
I’m about a year away from being a partial empty nester. My youngest will be headed to college, but my father is moving in (see other thread). I don’t know what this means yet, but as long as he’s able to be on his own (my dad), we will have a few years of empty nest time. My biggest hope and dream is to be able to clean the house once and for all and have it actually stay that way. It will probably never happen, but one can dream....,
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 6, 2017 8:53:34 GMT -5
I’m about a year away from being a partial empty nester. My youngest will be headed to college, but my father is moving in (see other thread). I don’t know what this means yet, but as long as he’s able to be on his own (my dad), we will have a few years of empty nest time. My biggest hope and dream is to be able to clean the house once and for all and have it actually stay that way. It will probably never happen, but one can dream...., Ha Ha! My MIL said to my husband "I always thought when you boys moved out the house would be clean. But I guess it is your father that is so messy." Well, my FIL died a few years ago, and she has had to accept that she also creates a mess.
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kittensaver
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We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Nov 6, 2017 13:22:48 GMT -5
I thought about "all the things I said I always wanted to do but didn't have time" - - and then started doing them.
I took up vegetable gardening and kinda turned into an accidental urban farmer ; I did more reading and more knitting; we took in a few extra litters of kittens each year; started traveling more . . .
. . . and then the next generation started to arrive right when the in-laws went downhill and into their final illnesses. And THEN my uncle/second dad and his wife got ill and went into their final declines, and left me to look personally and financially after my gravely psychiatrically disabled cousin. So I went back into caretaking mode - - all while working full time.
The grands are now grade school age and there's only one elderly relative left, so maybe I'll be able to fill the empty nest for a second time with things I like to do!
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Nov 6, 2017 17:12:02 GMT -5
As much as I loved my kids, I loved the "empty nest". I bought a 2 seat convertible. But the kids kept coming back home! DS was home for 3 years between his BS and MS degrees. Then DD came home for 6 months to take a low level PT job so she could get into PT school. Now they are both over 30 and guess what? DD is staying with us for 8 weeks while she does her final internship for her PT program. I honestly think this may be the last time. (I wonder if DD is bringing her cat?)
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Nov 6, 2017 23:00:25 GMT -5
I mostly try not to think about it. Try to find other things and other people to occupy myself with. Otherwise, I'd end up having a giant pity party, depressed and bitter, like my grandmother seemed to be. That doesn't sound fun at all!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Nov 6, 2017 23:21:44 GMT -5
As much as I loved my kids, I loved the "empty nest". I bought a 2 seat convertible. But the kids kept coming back home!DS was home for 3 years between his BS and MS degrees. Then DD came home for 6 months to take a low level PT job so she could get into PT school. Now they are both over 30 and guess what? DD is staying with us for 8 weeks while she does her final internship for her PT program. I honestly think this may be the last time. (I wonder if DD is bringing her cat?) Yeah, mine came home as well. He's living here while he's trying to get his business off the ground. Health-wise, this has NOT been a good year for me, and he's been a big help, taking me to doctors' appointments, driving me to the ER, loading up the car with groceries and cat litter, getting my meds, taking out the trash, getting my car fixed, putting up the storm windows, etc. It's been mutually beneficial.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Nov 7, 2017 1:07:01 GMT -5
I’m about a year away from being a partial empty nester. My youngest will be headed to college, but my father is moving in (see other thread). I don’t know what this means yet, but as long as he’s able to be on his own (my dad), we will have a few years of empty nest time. My biggest hope and dream is to be able to clean the house once and for all and have it actually stay that way. It will probably absolutely never happen, but one can dream...., Fixed
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 7, 2017 8:14:51 GMT -5
As much as I loved my kids, I loved the "empty nest". I bought a 2 seat convertible. But the kids kept coming back home! DS was home for 3 years between his BS and MS degrees. Then DD came home for 6 months to take a low level PT job so she could get into PT school. Now they are both over 30 and guess what? DD is staying with us for 8 weeks while she does her final internship for her PT program. I honestly think this may be the last time. (I wonder if DD is bringing her cat?) Last night I was chatting with my parents about remodeling our house and I said "If I have to move out during the remodel, we will come stay with you." The look on my mother's face - sheer terror. So...i will find a short term rental.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 7, 2017 8:25:38 GMT -5
As much as I loved my kids, I loved the "empty nest". I bought a 2 seat convertible. But the kids kept coming back home! DS was home for 3 years between his BS and MS degrees. Then DD came home for 6 months to take a low level PT job so she could get into PT school. Now they are both over 30 and guess what? DD is staying with us for 8 weeks while she does her final internship for her PT program. I honestly think this may be the last time. (I wonder if DD is bringing her cat?) Last night I was chatting with my parents about remodeling our house and I said "If I have to move out during the remodel, we will come stay with you." The look on my mother's face - sheer terror. So...i will find a short term rental. That would be me if for some reason son had to come home. I would whip out the cc and pay for him to live somewhere else!!! And he would do the same I'm sure
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Nov 8, 2017 13:00:05 GMT -5
As much as I loved my kids, I loved the "empty nest". I bought a 2 seat convertible. But the kids kept coming back home! DS was home for 3 years between his BS and MS degrees. Then DD came home for 6 months to take a low level PT job so she could get into PT school. Now they are both over 30 and guess what? DD is staying with us for 8 weeks while she does her final internship for her PT program. I honestly think this may be the last time. (I wonder if DD is bringing her cat?) Last night I was chatting with my parents about remodeling our house and I said "If I have to move out during the remodel, we will come stay with you." The look on my mother's face - sheer terror. So...i will find a short term rental. I asked my dad once if I could stay at his place short term. He just looked at me and said "No." bwahaha
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