Facebook inattention

[Waffle]

Last night a facebook friend posted that his dad was being released from the nursing home which of course led to lots of congratulatory remarks. Early today he added that his dad had a setback and had to go to the hospital instead. At least a half a dozen people followed that post with rmore congratulatory remarks. I believe "Yay" was my favorite inappropriate remark. Although "Thank God " was also a good one.

[Tennesseer]

Several of my Facebook 'friends' died several years ago.  I still have them on my friends list.

Their accounts were not deleted after their passings.  So their birthday notifications go out.  Several of their Facebook 'friends' still don't know they are dead or forgot they are dead and they still post to them on their birthdays, "Have a great day and party like there is no tomorrow!"

[Bonny]

Oct 4, 2017 17:35:32 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Several of my Facebook 'friends' died several years ago.  I still have them on my friends list.

Their accounts were not deleted after their passings.  So their birthday notifications go out.  Several of their Facebook 'friends' still don't know they are dead or forgot they are dead and they still post to them on their birthdays, "Have a great day and party like there is no tomorrow!"

Technically they are correct!

[TheOtherMe]

I can't leave my deceased friends and relatives on my FB list because I don't want to see the birthday wishes.  The granddaughter of one my aunts left a beautiful tribute to her on her birthday.  That was nice to see. 

I have named my executor as my legacy contact and have told him after a certain period of time, to remove the account.

[zibazinski]

Not as easy as you think it is. My mom is still on there. DH is as well but I'm not ready to let that go.

[Pants]

Someone I'd known briefly, but thought about frequently over the years, reached out to me on FB over the summer. He had Stage IV pancreatic cancer. We had some good conversations. He posted on Friday he was declining the last ditch effort by doctors to prolong his life. I didn't want to be morbid and reach out too soon. Today he died and I missed my chance. 

[Tennesseer]

Oct 4, 2017 21:24:01 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Not as easy as you think it is. My mom is still on there. DH is as well but I'm not ready to let that go.

A Facebook friend of mine who was also my former boss, and I once discussed this. I told her how I thought deleting now deceased friends who are listed in my Facebook friends was like they never existed. Sounds silly. My friend said no it is not.

My mentioned friend/former boss has not deleted her son from her Facebook friends list. He died suddenly a few years ago at the age 28 from an undetected heart condition. She keeps him in her list and will periodically send him a message just to say hello and tell him that she misses him.

[toomuchreality]

Oct 4, 2017 21:55:45 GMT -5 Pants said:

Someone I'd known briefly, but thought about frequently over the years, reached out to me on FB over the summer. He had Stage IV pancreatic cancer. We had some good conversations. He posted on Friday he was declining the last ditch effort by doctors to prolong his life. I didn't want to be morbid and reach out too soon. Today he died and I missed my chance. 

I'm sorry, Pants. 

(((hugs)))

[toomuchreality]

Oct 4, 2017 22:48:53 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Oct 4, 2017 21:24:01 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Not as easy as you think it is. My mom is still on there. DH is as well but I'm not ready to let that go.

A Facebook friend of mine who was also my former boss, and I once discussed this. I told her how I thought deleting now deceased friends who are listed in my Facebook friends was like they never existed. Sounds silly. My friend said no it is not.

My mentioned friend/former boss has not deleted her son from her Facebook friends list. He died suddenly a few years ago at the age 28 from an undetected heart condition. She keeps him in her list and will periodically send him a message just to say hello and tell him that she misses him.

I can't remove them from my phone either.

[thyme4change]

If you have access to their account, you can change it to a memorial page. That kind of splits the difference between erasing them as if they were never here, and leaving their page up, as if they are still alive and well.

I heard once that Facebook was discussing a policy on what to do if someone dies and does not leave their account info to anyone. I am not sure what they came up with.

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 5, 2017 8:09:27 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

If you have access to their account, you can change it to a memorial page. That kind of splits the difference between erasing them as if they were never here, and leaving their page up, as if they are still alive and well.

This is what I have done.  They call it a legacy page.

I have a dear friend who passed away too young in 2007.  I still can't delete her from my phone although I have removed the number after I accidentally called it and someone answered.

[kittensaver]

I have a very dear childhood friend who passed away about three years ago. Her page is still active. Every year on her birthday, several of us post "we love you and miss you" messages. Her son always reads them and thanks us for remembering her

[alabamagal]

I had a former co-worker/close friend that died last year.  Her son was very diligent about keeping all her Facebook friends updated on her status, and after her passing posts really thoughtful tributes to her.  He also posts stuff about Brain Cancer awareness, which is what she died from, and posts stuff on her birthday and one year anniversary of her death.  It is a really thoughtful way to remember her.

But I was also connected to her on LinkedIn, and it was creepy when I get a message "Congratulate S on her x year job anniversary" after she died.  I also don't like some of the Facebook ads for companies that show up and show where your friends have liked them (in the past) and sometimes they are from people who have died.  I am guessing those people's relatives have never closed their accounts.  

[happyhoix]

At work, we had an engineer who died in her late forties from lymphoma. It was very distressing because she was initially told she had a non aggressive form of lymphoma, then realized (too late) it was the other kind, and she was dead within a month after that, so everyone was shocked.

After a while they hired a new engineer who took her desk but they didn't tell him how to use the phone. For about 3 months her recorded message answered his phone if he wasn't there to answer it. I finally had to go show him how to change it because it was so gut wrenching to hear her voice again unexpectedly like that.

[thyme4change]

Oct 9, 2017 11:23:01 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

At work, we had an engineer who died in her late forties from lymphoma. It was very distressing because she was initially told she had a non aggressive form of lymphoma, then realized (too late) it was the other kind, and she was dead within a month after that, so everyone was shocked.

After a while they hired a new engineer who took her desk but they didn't tell him how to use the phone. For about 3 months her recorded message answered his phone if he wasn't there to answer it. I finally had to go show him how to change it because it was so gut wrenching to hear her voice again unexpectedly like that.

How hard is it to figure out a phone? Even a shitty engineer should be able to figure it out without help.

[alabamagal]

Well sometimes us engineers are not into all that etiquette stuff.

My current boss left his phone message with my old bosses greeting for several months ( she is still alive just different site now ). I reminded him several times before he changed it.

[taz157]

It's not just engineers who don't change messages. I had a former coworker (CPA) who kept referring to call her admin who hadn't worked there in at least 3 years. I mentioned it to her a couple of times and last time I heard it, it was still there.