Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 7, 2017 8:20:15 GMT -5
Do you take mental health days? If so, how often?
For the sake of definition, a mental health day is taking leave (usually calling in sick or using sick leave, typically on short notice) from work for the benefit of your mental health (i.e. decompressing, destressing, relaxing ect.) Planning time off in advance doesn't count, as that's just regular vacation.
I almost never take mental health days. As a general rule, I don't want to get into the habit of not going to work because I don't feel like it that day. That said, I do get a lot of travel comp time from work and will take long weekends with it sometimes on relatively short notice, less than a week but usually more than 24 hours notice, but it's usually because I want the time off to relax not necessarily because I'm so stressed I couldn't go into work if I wanted to.
The only time I took what I'd call a "mental health day" was in one of my old jobs that I eventually got fired from. I was just so stressed I couldn't go in the next day. But that was just one time.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 7, 2017 8:34:22 GMT -5
Yes.
With three school aged kid, the cheapest way to get "me" before 10pm is to take a mental health day. Sitters run us $15/hour. That gets expensive after a full day.
If I don't do something other than work and parent 24/7...I start to get crabby after about 6 weeks, and I feel the need for a break that doesn't involve sleeping.
I also don't use work as a social outlet. And, sometimes, it's nice to talk to other people and have a conversation that doesn't revolve around bodily fluids/noises.
There is a stitching group I'm trying to get more involved in. It's made up mostly of retirees and meets during the day. That's my only option right now. They do meet on Saturdays once a month. But, most of the time, it doesn't work because of family needs.
One the school year starts back up, I'm hoping to take an afternoon off here and there (but I'll probably use comp time) as schedule allows (hence last minute) to get a few hours of R&R in.
When I was single and newly married, I didn't feel as much need to have a break. But, then I got to spend nearly all my time out of work doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
ETA: I can also use vacation time for time off, even at the last minute. We don't have to ask for certain times off. I use sick leave for when folks (myself) or my kids are so sick that I can't absolutely work. We have the option of working at home if we have a bad cold, but are still functional.
So, it's rare that I take "sick" leave.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Aug 7, 2017 8:46:58 GMT -5
Fortunately, I can usually get time off on short notice - so the fake sick call isn't necessary. But, I do remember one time when I called in sick because I needed a mental health day. It was memorable, because when I went back to work my boss asked me if I was feeling better - I almost didn't know what he was talking about. Lying is not my strong suit.
I recall another boss who brought his staff together shortly after he became out boss - told everybody there would be no mental health days - he didn't believe in them. A few years later he got into some trouble and major embarrassment regarding an affair he had had with a clerical worker. Guess who started taking mental health days?
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Aug 7, 2017 8:51:39 GMT -5
Normally I don't take them. I see way too many people abuse their leave and then they have a real health need that leaves them scrambling and begging people for donations because they pissed it all away on mental health days.
That being said, I did take one about six months ago when my instructor for my master's degree course confused a bunch of due dates and posted on the class website that a large project was due with one day notice. So I called in sick and worked to get my project done, and then of course it ended up that it really should have been due the following week.
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on Aug 7, 2017 8:51:51 GMT -5
Always I am currently in China on a 5 week PTO. It was a last minute decision to get my mental health balance back to productivity. To deal with work day to day activity with a -15hr time zone, I dedicate 1/2 hour in my early morning to answer e-mails only. In retrospect, I highly recommend taking time off to recover. I have successfully done this for the past 20 years as an engineer starting with one week then two weeks and so on to now 5 weeks per year.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Aug 7, 2017 8:55:05 GMT -5
Always I am currently in China on a 5 week PTO. It was a last minute decision to get my mental health balance back to productivity. To deal with work day to day activity with a -15hr time zone, I dedicate 1/2 hour in my early morning to answer e-mails only. In retrospect, I highly recommend taking time off to recover. I have successfully done this for the past 20 years as an engineer starting with one week then two weeks and so on to now 5 weeks per year. That sounds more like vacation time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 8:59:49 GMT -5
Yes. Because of the way our time off is scheduled I sometimes do. We accrue our sick time on each paycheck (1.5 hours), but once it reaches 40 it stops accruing. I'm an honest person, and I HATE lying about being sick, but I don't think it's fair that I should lose time just because the kids and I have a long stretch of healthy. We also can't use this time for anything but sick, kid sick or doctor appointment, so it's lie or lose it.
Last time was last week. I was sitting at 40 hours sick time (lost a little at last accrual) and took 3.5 hours on Tuesday so I'm ok until the end of August now.
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 7, 2017 9:04:35 GMT -5
All my pto days are used for vacation of some sort. But work let's us work from home a few times a month and those kind of shake out like that. Get my work done, but can watch TV, or work by the pool, and my breaks I can do what I want.
I could do mental health days though, last minute pto is no issue as long as no deadlines are missed.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Aug 7, 2017 9:10:13 GMT -5
Yes. Because of the way our time off is scheduled I sometimes do. We accrue our sick time on each paycheck (1.5 hours), but once it reaches 40 it stops accruing. I'm an honest person, and I HATE lying about being sick, but I don't think it's fair that I should lose time just because the kids and I have a long stretch of healthy. We also can't use this time for anything but sick, kid sick or doctor appointment, so it's lie or lose it. Last time was last week. I was sitting at 40 hours sick time (lost a little at last accrual) and took 3.5 hours on Tuesday so I'm ok until the end of August now. That sounds like a poorly designed system that pretty much encourages everyone to call in sick because your balance limit is so low. At least with ours it keeps accruing, but if we stop working there we lose our balances. The part that really irritates me is that we start off as new hires with one sick day and one vacation day per month. And instead of saving it up, we have people that literally call in sick every two weeks. And then when they need time off for some life event, we all get a sad email asking us to donate our leave to them. I know one girl that did this for the last 5 years, and now I feel a massive guilt trip that I didn't donate when her husband was ill, because he ended up dying. But I donated to the guy that had a transplant that didn't have an absenteeism problem, and by the time I found out the details of why she was asking for leave, all my leave was already spoken for.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Aug 7, 2017 9:13:26 GMT -5
I like the idea of being able to donate time. We had a woman once who had to be off for an extended period of time for back surgery and recovery - many of us wanted to donate part of our sick and/or vacation time to her, but the company wouldn't let us.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 9:21:50 GMT -5
Yes. Because of the way our time off is scheduled I sometimes do. We accrue our sick time on each paycheck (1.5 hours), but once it reaches 40 it stops accruing. I'm an honest person, and I HATE lying about being sick, but I don't think it's fair that I should lose time just because the kids and I have a long stretch of healthy. We also can't use this time for anything but sick, kid sick or doctor appointment, so it's lie or lose it. Last time was last week. I was sitting at 40 hours sick time (lost a little at last accrual) and took 3.5 hours on Tuesday so I'm ok until the end of August now. That sounds like a poorly designed system that pretty much encourages everyone to call in sick because your balance limit is so low. At least with ours it keeps accruing, but if we stop working there we lose our balances. The part that really irritates me is that we start off as new hires with one sick day and one vacation day per month. And instead of saving it up, we have people that literally call in sick every two weeks. And then when they need time off for some life event, we all get a sad email asking us to donate our leave to them. I know one girl that did this for the last 5 years, and now I feel a massive guilt trip that I didn't donate when her husband was ill, because he ended up dying. But I donated to the guy that had a transplant that didn't have an absenteeism problem, and by the time I found out the details of why she was asking for leave, all my leave was already spoken for. I hate our vacation/sick time system. It's a huge company so you'd THINK that they would get enough feedback/input to have put something better in place. The vacation part is sucky too. I accrue three weeks a year (4.6 hours/paycheck), but you can't carry over more than 40 hours to Jan 1st, so it's really hard for anyone to schedule a big vacation in the first quarter of the year (our slowest time) and everyone is burning the last month of the year (our crazy busy time). For starters I think they should just do away with the sick time part entirely and just have PTO. The reason they have it separate is because they don't want people calling in all the time. To use vacation you are supposed to give a minimum of 24 hours notice or you can get an "occurrence" on your attendance record. Sick time doesn't require any notice. My manager is not strict about this, but they are on the production floor. I still think there has to be a better way.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Aug 7, 2017 9:35:10 GMT -5
I wish I had.
Although for the District job we got PTO therefore it didn't matter if you were sick or on vacation, it still counted as PTO.
I take responsibility that half of my stress is self-induced, wanting things better/improved.
What I needed to do was take advantage of the few "down times" to recharge instead of finding more things that needed to be improved.
ETA: After I resigned I had over 6 months of PTO on the books. Technically I was "on vacation" during the first six months I lived in AZ.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 9:49:46 GMT -5
Never. I considered it unethical. I was fortunate to have generous vacation time most of my career so occasionally took a vacation day with no plans. When DS was little I'd do that on days he had a pediatrician appointment.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 7, 2017 9:53:32 GMT -5
Not really. I don't have a lot of difficulty taking off at short notice or even leaving early/coming in late since I'm salaried. I have over a thousand hours of sick time right now that will go *poof* when I leave this job.
I did it at BT once because it was either that or slit my wrists. I called in sick for the girls when I didn't really have to MIL would have watched Abby. That's when I made the decision to go back to full time job hunting.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 7, 2017 9:54:56 GMT -5
I never understood people who call in all the time. I call in MAYBE 1-2 times a year. Showing up to work isn't that hard to me but I guess YMMV.
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Aug 7, 2017 9:57:17 GMT -5
No, I don't take mental health days. I only work 25 hours a week and once the kids are back in school, I will have a couple hours to decompress before they get home. Summer I don't get any time to myself since I work and then pick up kids on my way home. I will take a sick day if I am borderline sick though.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 7, 2017 10:06:43 GMT -5
My mom used to always call in a mental health for us one day a year when we were kids. It was always a surprise, always a nice spring day toward the end of the school year. She'd wake us up and first ask if we had any tests or anything important that day, and if not, then call us out of school . We'd usually go to the zoo or do something equally fun.
I take a "treat yo self" mentally with myself, so I consider many of my random days off I take to be mental health days. Sometimes waking up late and doing absolutely nothing is the best use of my time. I have 44 PTO days this year and have not felt bad about using a single day. Friday I'm taking off because I want a pool day. My boss knows that's my reason and just said sounds great, enjoy.
I don't see anything wrong taking the time I have. This year was a special case with us having a larger PTO balance (next year will be 39 days) so our boss told to take advantage of it.
I don't get sick too often, but do take off when I am. I took a Friday off last September because I had a sore neck and couldn't really move it comfortably. We had one our long meeting weeks the following week and boss agreed taking a day to relax sounded smart. So I guess that could be a mental/physical health day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 10:36:26 GMT -5
I never understood people who call in all the time. I call in MAYBE 1-2 times a year. Showing up to work isn't that hard to me but I guess YMMV. So, because you only have to call in 1-2 times a year that should be the norm? What if someone has kids? Odds are each one of them is going to be home sick a couple days a year. Not much you can do about that a lot of times but call in. Then there are people with medical issues. Before I got a meds regime that worked for me I would have debilitating migraines at least once a month. If I didn't have the time I'd show up, but I was pretty worthless. Running to the bathroom to throw up or just sit in a stall with a sweatshirt pulled up over my head. So awful.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 7, 2017 11:13:27 GMT -5
I use to more often. Now I have 4 weeks of vacation per year and I try to use 5 days every quarter, which means I plan in advance to take the days I need, and never get to the point where I just can't.
I am forever changed by one of my coworkers. He came to work one day. Our boss walked by and was doing some light chit chat and he said "I'd really like to take today as a vacation day." They went on the review a few tasks, projects and open items, and then he left. Since then, if I feel like I am unraveling, I have no problem asking for the next day off - even if it is 5:15 at night (or even 6 am the day of) and my boss is gone. I send an email with a recap of where I am and tell him if it is a problem, to just call me and I will come in. Granted, I have had bosses who trust me and have flexibility during that time, but not once has the company come to a screeching halt because I didn't show up one day.
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 7, 2017 11:15:47 GMT -5
My mom used to always call in a mental health for us one day a year when we were kids. It was always a surprise, always a nice spring day toward the end of the school year. She'd wake us up and first ask if we had any tests or anything important that day, and if not, then call us out of school . We'd usually go to the zoo or do something equally fun. I do something similar with my boys. Pick a day when they don't have a test or anything important and go have random fun. Dh is totally opposed to this idea, so we do it a bit on the down low. A few years ago, we were busted, though. I'd sprung them from school and we saw this awesome exhibit at a local art museum where the museum partners with the local gardening club and has gardeners and artists create an arrangement or piece out of natural materials that somehow reflects, contrasts or enhances the art. The arrangement/piece is then displayed next to the art that inspired it. This is one of my favorite events and it's fascinating. Some of the pieces are just simple floral arrangements done in similar colors as a painting, but some are incredibly elaborate and creative. Plus, the fact that it's spring and everything seems wonderful then is a plus. Anyways, I'd pulled the kids out of school to see this exhibit, then we had ice cream for lunch and sang along loudly to the radio on the way home. Very fun... until DH overheard youngest son singing lyrics to "I'm gonna pop some tags". DS finds it hilarious to sing about wearing grammy's clothes. DH was horrified and asked what the kids were singing. I acted like I had no clue and said it must have been something they learned at school that day.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Aug 7, 2017 11:34:22 GMT -5
Yep....
My favorite was that we had just finished up submitting a grant and things had been crazy for about 2 months. I walked into the lab and wasn't sure what to do, a coworker walked in about 30 min later and she was in the same position. Our IT person soon followed and we were sitting there trying to figure out what to do as none of us were very motivated. So we decided to go out waterskiing that day. We went to the boss and asked him if he had a problem with it, and invited him along. He'd have gone, if he hadn't had a couple meetings scheduled that day! Anyway, he told us to get the hell out and enjoy the beautiful day. So we pretty much had the lake all to ourselves. The next day, we went into work in a much better frame of mind.
I had a really cool boss.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 7, 2017 11:45:48 GMT -5
My mom used to always call in a mental health for us one day a year when we were kids. It was always a surprise, always a nice spring day toward the end of the school year. She'd wake us up and first ask if we had any tests or anything important that day, and if not, then call us out of school . We'd usually go to the zoo or do something equally fun. I do something similar with my boys. Pick a day when they don't have a test or anything important and go have random fun. Dh is totally opposed to this idea, so we do it a bit on the down low. A few years ago, we were busted, though. I'd sprung them from school and we saw this awesome exhibit at a local art museum where the museum partners with the local gardening club and has gardeners and artists create an arrangement or piece out of natural materials that somehow reflects, contrasts or enhances the art. The arrangement/piece is then displayed next to the art that inspired it. This is one of my favorite events and it's fascinating. Some of the pieces are just simple floral arrangements done in similar colors as a painting, but some are incredibly elaborate and creative. Plus, the fact that it's spring and everything seems wonderful then is a plus. Anyways, I'd pulled the kids out of school to see this exhibit, then we had ice cream for lunch and sang along loudly to the radio on the way home. Very fun... until DH overheard youngest son singing lyrics to "I'm gonna pop some tags". DS finds it hilarious to sing about wearing grammy's clothes. DH was horrified and asked what the kids were singing. I acted like I had no clue and said it must have been something they learned at school that day. My parents didn't let me miss school unless there was vomit or fever. The work ethic has probably served me well. I didn't miss a day of school when my Grelanfather died, or my sister got married or anything. They never scheduled a vacation that stepped on a school day. Nothing, nada, never. I'm not being quite that strict with my kids. I also tend to let my daughter stay home when she asks. She is so hard working and such a rule follower, and I am so worried she will burn out and go off the rails. If she needs a day, I let her take it. But I never just pull them out and screw around. Maybe I should.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 7, 2017 11:54:06 GMT -5
I've taken my kids out of school for vacations, and I got a form letter from the school saying if they missed any more days, they would consider asking DSS to intervene for educational neglect.
Even though they did their homework, kept their grades up, and journaled about their travel.
Whatever, school.
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 7, 2017 12:04:37 GMT -5
I do something similar with my boys. Pick a day when they don't have a test or anything important and go have random fun. Dh is totally opposed to this idea, so we do it a bit on the down low. A few years ago, we were busted, though. I'd sprung them from school and we saw this awesome exhibit at a local art museum where the museum partners with the local gardening club and has gardeners and artists create an arrangement or piece out of natural materials that somehow reflects, contrasts or enhances the art. The arrangement/piece is then displayed next to the art that inspired it. This is one of my favorite events and it's fascinating. Some of the pieces are just simple floral arrangements done in similar colors as a painting, but some are incredibly elaborate and creative. Plus, the fact that it's spring and everything seems wonderful then is a plus. Anyways, I'd pulled the kids out of school to see this exhibit, then we had ice cream for lunch and sang along loudly to the radio on the way home. Very fun... until DH overheard youngest son singing lyrics to "I'm gonna pop some tags". DS finds it hilarious to sing about wearing grammy's clothes. DH was horrified and asked what the kids were singing. I acted like I had no clue and said it must have been something they learned at school that day. My parents didn't let me miss school unless there was vomit or fever. The work ethic has probably served me well. I didn't miss a day of school when my Grelanfather died, or my sister got married or anything. They never scheduled a vacation that stepped on a school day. Nothing, nada, never. I'm not being quite that strict with my kids. I also tend to let my daughter stay home when she asks. She is so hard working and such a rule follower, and I am so worried she will burn out and go off the rails. If she needs a day, I let her take it. But I never just pull them out and screw around. Maybe I should. Sounds like we were raised similarly. I don't know what the right answer is. Like you, my work ethic has been a good thing. I'm utterly, unfailingly dependable. If I've made an appointment or said I'll do something - it is done; no questions asked. I even get a little offended at confirmation or reminder calls/emails/texts from people since once I've committed... I will be there. But as I had more work experience and started my own business, my idea of work ethic has changed a bit. Not exactly a work smarter, not harder, but more of a focus on the big picture thing. To me, that means you absolutely never flake on appointments or commitments. For school, that means tests and projects. But it also means that sometimes it's OK to do other things as long as your work is getting done. Especially for people like your daughter and my son who work hard and do well, IMO it doesn't hurt them to screw around or do something totally unrelated; they're still going to get their stuff done, right? I haven't always had a good sense of how to balance work, personal, family, friends, etc. and am hoping to help my kids develop that. For me, part of improving balance was being able to determine what was and wasn't essential so I can move or skip nonessential stuff. Turns out, school has a ton or nonessential or non-time sensitive stuff...
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 7, 2017 12:10:38 GMT -5
I've taken my kids out of school for vacations, and I got a form letter from the school saying if they missed any more days, they would consider asking DSS to intervene for educational neglect.
Even though they did their homework, kept their grades up, and journaled about their travel.
Whatever, school. My kids' school tried on a policy where kids needed a doctor's note to excuse them for an absence. Classic government idea where the soundbite sounds great but the actual details are harrowing. Having volunteered extensively for DSS/CPS in working with foster kids, there is no way I could keep a straight face and not burst out laughing if school indicated they were going to refer me to DSS/CPS for educational neglect. Good luck with that! My kids are performing well at school, well fed, in great health and many of the things I pull them out of school for would be considered enrichment type activities... I'm not remotely worried about being found to be neglectful. DSS/CPS is too busy investigating families that don't have safe housing, where there is a convicted child molester living in the house, where there isn't enough food to worry that my kids missed a day of school to see a museum exhibit. Try not you roll your eyes and burst out with a "Bring it on!" when the school threatens a DSS/CPS investigation.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 12:14:29 GMT -5
I've taken my kids out of school for vacations, and I got a form letter from the school saying if they missed any more days, they would consider asking DSS to intervene for educational neglect.
Even though they did their homework, kept their grades up, and journaled about their travel.
Whatever, school. The school younger goes to they have no issues with missing for vacations. Older son's school? No way. Totally different atmosphere.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 7, 2017 12:18:49 GMT -5
I once picked up my daughter to take her to the doctor. The office told me I would need to bring a note back from the doctor in order for the absence be "excused" and I responded that the next time she had a dr appointment I would just call her in sick for the whole day and that would be excused also. Seems pointless to me. I did not bring back a dr note, and no one said anything to me about it. She seemed to advance to the next grade, even though she missed one day of choir and half of her lunch period.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 7, 2017 12:23:28 GMT -5
I don't. I wish I could at times. I've had a couple issues that make me scared to use up all my leave. Two years ago I landed in the ER for gallbladder removal. Three weeks minimum off work. I worked after my knee surgery because getting asthma and all those appts sucked up my leave balance. It was awful I never want to do that again.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 7, 2017 12:32:35 GMT -5
I never understood people who call in all the time. I call in MAYBE 1-2 times a year. Showing up to work isn't that hard to me but I guess YMMV. So, because you only have to call in 1-2 times a year that should be the norm? What if someone has kids? Odds are each one of them is going to be home sick a couple days a year. Not much you can do about that a lot of times but call in. Then there are people with medical issues. Before I got a meds regime that worked for me I would have debilitating migraines at least once a month. If I didn't have the time I'd show up, but I was pretty worthless. Running to the bathroom to throw up or just sit in a stall with a sweatshirt pulled up over my head. So awful. No, my post was in response to those who were saying some co workers used leave friviolously and then needed donations when something bad happened.
Obviously if you need to take off you need to take off. But I don't understand calling in just because you don't feel like going into work that day. I have a good attendance record and I plan to keep in that way. At the same time, I will take my vacation and travel comp that I'm owed.
I try not to use sick leave though if I can help it. But I understand sometimes you can't avoid it, especially if you have sick kids.
I view my sick leave as a short term disability, not to be squandered but to be saved for when I really need it. If I need time off for pleasure, I have other options.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 7, 2017 12:45:51 GMT -5
So, because you only have to call in 1-2 times a year that should be the norm? What if someone has kids? Odds are each one of them is going to be home sick a couple days a year. Not much you can do about that a lot of times but call in. Then there are people with medical issues. Before I got a meds regime that worked for me I would have debilitating migraines at least once a month. If I didn't have the time I'd show up, but I was pretty worthless. Running to the bathroom to throw up or just sit in a stall with a sweatshirt pulled up over my head. So awful. No, my post was in response to those who were saying some co workers used leave friviolously and then needed donations when something bad happened.
Obviously if you need to take off you need to take off. But I don't understand calling in just because you don't feel like going into work that day. I have a good attendance record and I plan to keep in that way. At the same time, I will take my vacation and travel comp that I'm owed.
I try not to use sick leave though if I can help it. But I understand sometimes you can't avoid it, especially if you have sick kids.
I view my sick leave as a short term disability, not to be squandered but to be saved for when I really need it. If I need time off for pleasure, I have other options.
That really depends on your employer. Dh had an employer that gave two weeks sick time per year, you used it or you lost it. Since it was not bankable and Nebraska does not pay out sick leave upon termination of employment so people used it. I'm not going to get mad at people who took advantage of the system as it was designed. On the other hand I can bank 1000+ hours of sick time. So I hoarded it all for maternity leave. I can also get up to 250 hours of vacation and 24 floating holiday.
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